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If Elected, Trump Offers Solemn Vow To Free Prince Albert From Can
CNN New York - Real Estate mogul, reality TV star and presumptive Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump told reporters today that if elected, a goal he intends to accomplish during his first 100 days in office is to free Prince Albert from his can.
"Time to let him out," Trump insisted. "We don't have Princes in America...well, unless you count that purple whatever guy, but he's the only one I can think of. I'm not in favor of Princes myself, but I think that if one is in a can, the right thing to do is let him out."
When asked if he'd ever met Prince Albert, Trump responded "I think so, yeah. It was before he was in the can. Nice guy. Didn't talk too much. Dressed real sharp. I think he came into Trump Towers Grill for some bangers and mash. Asked him what that was and he told me and I said "No, we don't serve that," and you know, he caused a scene so I had him roughed up a little and escorted from the premises. That was the last time I saw him before, you know, he went in that can."
Asked how he planned to free Prince Albert, Trump replied "I'm gonna put Christie on it. I have to find something to keep him busy and out of my hair. He can be a pain in the ass, loyal, yeah, but so is my Chihuahua."
