Religious "prophesies" are always either dead wrong, or impossibly vague. Like here.

[Archae]

And like I've said about this guy Jim Bakker, (yes, THE Jim Bakker,) once a con man for Jesus, always a con man for Jesus.

Jim Bakker: God Told Me 'A Major Event' Will Take Place In The Future

Submitted by Brian Tashman on Thursday, 5/12/2016 11:00 am

Last year, televangelist Jim Bakker prophesied that all sorts of bad things might happen on September 13 of that year, including typhoons, earthquakes, bombings, a financial collapse and/or an unspecified incident involving Pope Francis. Since none of those prophesies ended up coming true, Bakker has now started making much vaguer predictions, including one he delivered this week while pitching his famous food buckets. “I believe it’s time to hear from God and God has been speaking to me,” he said. “I walked out of my garage yesterday and as I’m walking and things happened and when one of those, you might call them crazy things, but God said, ‘A major event is about to take place.’ I knew that I knew that I knew. And every time that God ever speaks to me like that, something happens.” He then said that once viewers pray and speak to God, they should call his ministry or visit his website to order food buckets because “one day it will be too late.”

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/jim-bakker-god-told-me-major-event-will-take-place-future#sthash.rEW1ktlS.dpuf

[arely staircase]

1. "while pitching his famous 'food buckets.'" nt

[Agnosticsherbet]

2. I wonder where the garage would be in their 17000 square foot home...

with rooms for their permanent staff.

https://jimbakkershow.com/loris-house/

[Bayard]

3. Finger lickin' good

Is that like Colonel Sanders buckets of chicken?

Put your hand on the TV and say, Amen!

[COLGATE4]

5. Praise Jeebus and pass the gizzards, Brother.

[Iggo]

4. LOL....suckers!!!!

[HughBeaumont]

6. Oh, great. The grifter mail frauding felon speaks.

Let's all listen to him.

Or not.

You want to know what's a positive thing with me? Millennials turning away from churches and religion in droves. It's about damned time, too.

[gratuitous]

7. The end of the world is powerfully ego boosting

Just think, all of history is coming to a close, and you're here to see it! Earlier this week, Mercury's transit of the Sun was visible from Earth, and a lot of people inexplicably felt better seeing the images on the news. Something that doesn't happen very often (13 times a century, which isn't so rare when you sit down and figure that's about every 8 years), part of the cosmic dance, forces and features all out of proportion to our ordinary lives. I submit that it's part of the same phenomenon.

Now, consider the end of the world. Doesn't happen very often (in fact, never), part of very large forces and features far out of proportion to everyday life. But let's add in a couple of other features that really appeal to the human ego. First, there are problems out there (sometimes there are problems right here, too). Economic difficulties, personal hardships, natural disasters. It can be a lot for any one person to handle, and solving or even just ameliorating those problems is a daunting, hopeless task. The needs just keep piling up.

But the end of the world? Sweeps it all away, more effectively than the fabled White Tornado of Ajax advertising fee. The mourning and the afflicted will be comforted, every tear wiped away, and the joy of the master will reign over all. A lovely image that has the added advantage of relieving the individual of doing anything about the problems other people have to endure. Just wait, it will all get set right and very soon. Well, pretty soon. Someday. Maybe in the sweet by and by. Let's not think about that too much.

Second, and this is really ego-gratifying, a hard rain's gonna fall. The jerks who loused things up are going to get what's coming to them, and you get to stand on the side of the angels (literally) and watch. Their pitiful cries for mercy will be too late, and their damnation will be eternal. Meanwhile, total vindication for me and all my suffering. Ha ha all over you!

Shockingly, some people have found a way to make money off this, appealing subtly (and not so subtly) to people's egos, overlaid with a patina of the divine from the Bible, and engaging in cynical exploitation of people's uncertainty and desperation, and emotional manipulation.

[smirkymonkey]

8. Jim Bakker, the John Edward (medium) of religious prophecies.

"I'm getting a name....It starts with "M"....does that mean anything to anyone?"

[ladyVet]

9. Hey, heads up! Pay attention, here...

A major event will happen in the future. Send me money, 'kay?

Seriously. Anyone who has some spare bucks, you can send it to me. At least I'm a sane person who doesn't believe Sky Daddy talks to me. OR I could lie about that, if it makes you feel better. ;P

[Wounded Bear]

10. Or both....

I'm gonna go with both dead wrong and impossibly vague.

[ck4829]

11. This applies to any sort of prediction, not even religious ones

Fox News and others said that Romney was going to win in a walk and the polls were just skewed.

Everyone predicted Cruz or Kasich and Trump is now the presumptive nominee. (Of course that was only the 'experts' who were saying that, but you know what I mean)

Cheney said the insurgents who are now Daesh were in their last throes back in 2005.

There are three ways to accurately predict the future:
1. Be as vague as possible
2. Make a whole lot of predictions and cherry pick the ones that were right, ignoring the ones that weren't
3. Make sure it happens

The only thing Bakker has never done here is #3.