Mental Illness is as Serious as Physical Illness. We Need and Deserve Treatment.
I've had a... really rough few weeks. While this post isn't really about me primarily - I want to start it out by saying that chronic depression and anxiety have been lifelong issues for me. Some times I seem to have the upper hand over myself, other times... not so much. I am not a lunatic. I have no history of violence and no history of criminal activity. I am not a madman. I am not a dangerous person who wants to hurt other people. This question seems to come up a lot lately for people who are mentally ill, so I just wanted to clarify that.
Someone I have long thought of as the love of my life asked me a question the other day - in light of some terrible events that took place in MA. Many people were hurt and some died. It has been said that the man responsible for these terrible attacks was depressed - and sought help, and did not receive it. For those unfamiliar with the case - a young man stabbed many people before he was finally stopped by police. Some died. Some did not.
The question I was asked was this: "You're depressed a lot. Are you going to go on a murder rampage?"
I asked the person in question - who has known me for almost twenty years, if that was a serious question. She said yes.
People who know me have often described me as gentle, kind - and thoughtful. This does not necessarily make me a great guy, or a safe one, I would suggest, rather, that having lived thirty two years and not ever seriously harming anyone despite occasions of serious provocation would indicate that I'm reasonably safe. Perhaps some people might think otherwise, or be afraid, as if depression is now some indication of impending psychotic rage and slaughter. I would argue that there are millions of us all over the USA alone that are depressed - and still decent, gentle people.
It is often thought among a frequently scared populace that mental illness is something to be feared, stood away from, as if it were dangerous, contagious, the stories we see or hear on the news so often lend strength to that fear, though it is misplaced and terribly ignorant - but most significantly, it is sad. Some of the kindest, most intelligent, most decent, most wonderful people I have ever known have struggled with mental illness in one form or another. Many of them were depressed - and many of them, despite their own pain, reached out to help me with mine.
I have a lifetime of experience with mental illness, it has haunted my every step since before I was even a teenager. It's possible that I know a little bit about it.
What we have is a broken healthcare system, in spite of recent attempts to repair it. What we have is a frequently inhumane, cold, and even cruel system in place to treat those who are mentally ill, who are suffering. Medicine for profit is not sympathetic, it is not empathetic, it is not humane, not kind. It is a blight upon this Country. It is a blight because many people who could be helped by the right treatment, and/or by having access to such treatment, could go a long way towards making our world a better place. Sensitive, thoughtful people, who, while they may have an illness, are very good people.
There are very few long term care facilities. There are few facilities that practice humane treatment, but rather most (and most psychiatrists and Doctors as well) prefer to medicate and refer to therapies that, while well meaning, do not by themselves seriously treat such an illness. It CAN be cured, as can any ailment, it is simply a matter of discovering how - and it is just as important, as significant - and as necessary as treating physical illness.
I tell you, ladies and gents, that the inmates are running the asylum. The insurance companies, the media, the politicians who keep cutting funding for mental health treatment (my own governor LePage comes to mind) for desperately needed care. We can do better than this. We must do better than this.
I am a human being, the same as the rest of you, I am not more likely to commit violence because my mind is different. I am not some psycho plotting cruel and evil things - I am a human being trying to survive. Trying to fight back against the prison of my own mind that contains illness that I cannot cure, that I can only struggle against every day, hoping to maintain the upper hand so I might have some decent quality of life or happiness. I have no health insurance - this makes that struggle harder. I have no access to therapy, to physicians that could help me. I do not qualify for any form of such assistance in my home state of Maine.
That said... I am one of the lucky ones, in many ways. I have a family that loves me, I am fortunate enough that my issues pertain only to depression and anxiety and that I do not hallucinate, that for the most part, I can control my own actions. There are many, many more who are not so lucky... and they are being... not just thrown under the bus, but driven over, every damned day. By politicians, by the media, by insurance companies... and even, some times, by people who really... really... ought to know better.
We are human. We deserve kindness, love, and respect. My name is David - and I am mentally ill... and not ashamed of it.
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Twenty years ago or so, we started talking about mental illness more rationally, as a real illness and not a choice 
, and it seemed as though things were going to change. But then that all stopped.
I hope that there's a tipping point coming soon when we can start talking about it without blame or shame. It's very real and it causes so much suffering.
and much of it aimed at mental illness. And I know that some of the people who do horrible things are mentally ill (maybe all of them) but they are just a tiny fraction of the mentally ill, who if they had any intention of hurting someone, it would only be themselves.
I'm sorry your "love" is too afraid to understand this. Maybe someone could talk to her and try to explain it and help her to understand how to help you most, by not doing things many people do around the mentally ill, because they don't know any better.
The people who go postal usually have signs that something is wrong long before it happens. Signs of anger and secrecy and isolation, and sometimes lashing out on social media.
I too am mentally ill. Depression, anxiety, OCD. I felt postal once because of a job/boss sitation I hated and felt trapped in, but even then, as angry as I was at my boss, I knew I'd never hurt anyone, except me.
I have tried to commit suicide. I think about it almost daily. It doesn't make me dangerous.
Someone posted a documentation here yesterday about psychopathy and in the doc they said that taking SSRI's kills your empathy. I bed to differ. I've been on them, several different brands, and they never killed my empathy. I think that is just another scare tactic.
I got off the SSRIs because I don't think they were helping enough and I was having side effects. I won't go on them again.
I am sorry you've lived with this your whole life David. I have only lived with it since I was in my early 40's and I'm 66 now, so almost 25 years. I understand how difficult it is.
Don't give up on your love...just try to get some information to help her understand. Or maybe she could talk to someone on a forum about depression and support groups.
Hang in there baby...life ain't easy, but it's all we've got.
Response to davidthegnome (Original post)
