What was the closest you've ever come to dying/death....?

[TipTok]

... and how did it affect you?

[7wo7rees]

1. Interesting. So what was your event?

[TipTok]

4. Mine was a 7.62 round that plunked into a berm about a foot from my head...

... on a random hill in Logar, Afghanistan.

Spritzed me with the dirt spray and I rolled right the fuck out of there.

One of the defining moments of my life actually. As a military guy, you always wonder how you are going to react and it did my soul a lot of good to know that I didn't freak out.

I actually remember cracking jokes...

Thinking about it earlier today, as I prepare to go again, inspired me for the OP. I chat every day with folks who have killed and been nearly killed a dozen times over.

I was wondering how the other half lives.

Side note... This event was shortly followed by an A-10 BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRtttt and everything went quiet after that. I will love that plane forever.

[7wo7rees]

8. Thank you for sharing here. Not an easy thing to do, ever.

Wish you all the very best, wish you would just walk away and not be in harm's way ever again. I am so very sorry.

Ms.7wo7rees

The other half doesn't have a clue.

[TipTok]

9. Meh...

I suspect that other people have had encounters that are equally or more interesting...

My bit could be swapped out with a 1000 other guys...

As you go along in a military life, you think about such things. I think it would be much more difficult for Mr. Joe Snuffy who never really gave it a thought to deal with a car crash that missed by an inch or a 7/11 robber who put a .38 to their forehead.

[7wo7rees]

13. Just IMHO I believe you may be making light of something.

You have been there. Seek help. Please.
I think you are asking. And you are "about to go back".
Peace.

Look for IVAW and Vets For Peace.

Read"War is a Racket" by General Smedley Butler.

[DustyJoe]

103. you can learn so many life lessons in combat

My best lesson was that on my last combat mission was that friendly fire is not very friendly.

The close calls are countless as you never knew how close that crack by your head really was, or the 'thunk' you heard in the dark was a dud rpg embedded feet from your positiion which you saw at daybreak.

The closest I guess is the one that ends it all, the rest are just 'learning experiences'.

I was 18 in 1968, almost 67 now and I just count each additional day I have as a bloody miracle as I was told the last big one in TET was supposed to be my last, it sent me home early. But as I joked with my then 15 yr old fiance in 1968 that she missed out on my GI insurance, she says today at almost 48 yrs married, she'd rather of had me instead.

Treat every day as the best ever. Once you've had a really close one you lose your fear of dying, but gain respect for each additional minute you exist.

ps: 3 kids, 10 grandkids 1 great grandchild added to the planets biomass since I cheated the big one.

[TipTok]

104. +1

[pinboy3niner]

141. +2

[wain]

127. "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result." - Winston Churchill

[COLGATE4]

136. The Warthog is a wonderous machine.

Only thing better is the modern version of "Puff".

[cheapdate]

2. As a teenager and twenty-something,

too many times to count. I really shouldn't be here right now. It barely registered at the time.

As a 50-year old, almost died from a heart attack. I've made major changes to my diet and the things I eat. I exercise regularly now.

[TipTok]

5. I'll bet the 50 year event made more of an impact...

[MADem]

3. A bullet missed my head by inches.

Every day is a gift.

[TipTok]

6. Sounds like a story....

Tell...

[MADem]

14. A guy with a rifle on a rooftop during the Iranian revolution started shooting people

in the street. He hit quite a few and chaos ensued. He aimed at me and missed. He was Pasdaran.

I grabbed an old deaf grandma who was confused and crying because everyone she was with bolted and left her, and dragged her into the jub (a sewer ditch alongside the road, sometimes it is partially covered w/concrete slabs). She started hitting me with her cane because she thought I wished her ill. I screamed at her that we were being shot at and she finally figured it out. I told her to crawl through the shit around the corner out of the line of fire. We did that and I pulled her out of the ditch and we parted ways.

IIRC I later "heard" that the military took him out, but I don't know if I had much confidence in that report. I rather think he did the hop-skip-jump over the rooftops and was gone, baby, gone.

[Mr Maru]

120. Wow.

[pinboy3niner]

75. A bullet hit my head by inches. :)

Sorry, couldn't resist.

You know my story--seriously wounded by AK fire in Vietnam, nearly died.

I'm very glad we're both still here, my friend.

[MADem]

78. I know--you're amazing.

I'm so glad you are my friend--life wouldn't have half the joy without you in it.

[Orrex]

110. No shit?

Wow--I never knew that. Damn.

[joshcryer]

117. Same here.

I have a picture of some yarn going through the hole in the outside wall and into the hallway, sitting in my chair the bullet passed my nose by about three inches.

[MADem]

118. Sitting in your HOME?

Now that's terrifying!

I was in a sketchy place (heavily populated market area that had been the scene of previous incidents) and had my wits about me-I was not expecting violence but it wasn't surprising, either, when it all went pear shaped. There had been shootings and bombings and so forth and a good deal of unrest.

But sitting in your home, in your chair? You like to think you're safe at home...!

[joshcryer]

119. Yeah, some guy shooting up my downstairs neighbor.

Three bullets went into her apartment. That's not the funny thing though, the next week I was accosted at gunpoint by some guy telling me to "give me my money," but his friend knocked the gun out of his hand and I ran (guy was super drunk, peed all over a bush a minute earlier).

Bad neighbourhood. Had many run ins and several close calls but that tops 'em. 3 inches.

[MADem]

123. DAMN. I have lived in neighborhoods where "those weren't cars backfiring" but that's CLOSE to home!

Makes you want to park the old barcalounger next to those steel filing cabinets and shelves! Build yourself a little in-house revetment!

[joshcryer]

139. I lived there five years.

But the shitty stuff happened every year or so. Though domestic violence was quite common.

I actually changed my sleeping habit with my feet to my headboard (if the bed was orientated to an outer wall, which it is in my current place). It's quite weird to explain to people. Felt safer that way because the entry bullet came in right where my head would have been if I was laying down.

[MADem]

140. Gotta do what works!! nt

[GumboYaYa]

125. Me too...I remember hearing the bullet whistle past my head.

We threw a drunk out of the bar I was working at. He came back when we were closing up and took a shot at me through the front door. An inch or two in a different direction and I would not be here. I have the bullet. We were able to dig it out of the fireplace mantel in the back of the bar.

[MADem]

142. How frightening, but that's quite the souvenir! nt

[herding cats]

7. I have two.

Once I was bleeding out, and the doctors told my family (in front of me) I wasn't likely to make it.

That time was weird for me. I never thought I was going to die, no matter how dire my situation was, and yet I spent a week in the hospital having blood transfusions. Even with it being as bad as it was, I scolded the doctors for scaring my family and assured them I was fine.

The first one didn't really change me. I suspect because I never believed I would die, no matter the volume of blood I'd lost, or how near death I was. I was so young, and invincible.

Then the second time, a few years ago. I was attacked, hit over the head and strangled until I lost consciousness. That time changed me. First off, it was different in that I knew I was dying. I was dying and there was nothing I could do to stop it. When I lost consciousness, in my mind I was telling my loved ones goodbye, and that I was sorry for leaving them. I mean, I literally thought I was visiting each of them and saying goodbye, and consoling them. I was shocked as hell when I woke up in a hospital. I was so sure I had already died, and I'd already made my peace with it.

The second one left me dealing with a brain injury, which I've been rehabilitating from for the past few years. I'm not 100% again yet, but I'm close and still improving. It also left me afraid, untrusting and severely guarded in some ways. It changed me on several levels.

No beautiful new lease on life experiences, but I am deeply greatful to be alive. Just thinking about the pain my loved ones would have to had endured in either scenario hurts my heart. I can't bear the thought of them having to deal with all that suffering because of me.

[TipTok]

10. Good luck with rehab...

I've only ever had the physical and have been lucky enough to avoid anything with the brain.

[herding cats]

15. Good luck with your deployment.

I only read that after posting my response. I, mistakenly, thought this was going to be a how your life changed for the better sort of post. I should have looked at your avatar.

Keep your head down, and come home whole.

Thank you for the well wishes, they're appreciated.

[MADem]

16. OMG--how horrific and terrifying (the second one especially, certainly).

What a terrible thread to "win," if you know what I mean, but your experience sounds the most arduous on so many levels.

What a story--did they ever catch your attacker? Did you ever tell your loved ones what went through your mind during that frightening episode?

[herding cats]

21. They did catch him.

He was a deranged stalker I'd picked up by simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was arrested on kidnapping charges about two years ago in another case, and I saw his picture in the news and alerted the police it was the person who had attacked me. He has a very distinct large growth over his left eye, which I'd mentioned in my report, so that helped. Then they linked him to being at a gas station near my home that night, which was several counties away from where he lived. He pled to lesser charges in both cases, but he's in prison for the next 5 years before he comes up for parole. Which i doubt he'll make.

I didn't tell my loved ones right away about what my thoughts were pertaining to them that night. It took me months before I was composed enough to go into those details with them without breaking down. I know it sounds odd, but for me it was real when I was telling them goodbye. I couldn't talk to them about it until I'd healed enough to realize I was going to survive.

[MADem]

22. Doesn't sound odd to me at all--I find your fortitude so impressive!

Everyone has to sort out how things affect them at their own pace--it's a very personal process. Can't be rushed. But damn, you're tough! Good for you, you are a survivor!

I think it's wonderful that they caught that asshole and that he's locked up where he can't hurt anyone else. GRRRRR!

[msanthrope]

33. You'll be notified of the parole hearing. Make it.

Best wishes to you.

[Throd]

61. Was a passenger in a convertible Beetle that rolled twice down an embankment at freeway speed.

The top was up but I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I should have been killed but survived somehow.

[Waldorf]

11. During one of my chemo treatments I went into anaphylactic shock.

When I came to I was surrounded by nurses, doctors and paramedics. Took a ride to the hospital. Found out later that the paramedics had the pads out and charged.

edit: How did it affect me afterwards? I'm not as scared as I used to be of dying. Seems to have made me more tolerant of others and to enjoy life more.

[cynannmarie]

12. Intruder broke into my home while I was there with my 2 yr old

I was asleep in my bed and awoke to find him on top of me. He gagged me, bound my hands and raped me, all the while repeatedly threatening to kill me and my daughter, and I assumed he was going to do it. Just before being gagged I begged him to spare her. He eventually left the room and then returned to threaten again that if I made a move or noise he would go through with it. After stealing money from my purse and rifling through the place for valuables, I heard the door close, but I had no idea where he was or if he would return. The intensity of the fear for my/our lives was unlike anything I've ever experienced before or since, even though decades later I was diagnosed with cancer (it turned out to be earlier stage than initially thought and I'm ok).
The rape/threat of murder experience caused an earthquake in my life because when my husband returned after being away at the time visiting his parents, he reacted in the most unexpectedly nasty and callous way, offering no sympathy or support, only hostility. The sense of betrayal I felt at that led to our divorce. He was normally a soft spoken, extremely sensitive person so that reaction was very out of character for him and even 40 yrs later I still can't explain or understand it.
I eventually learned to trust again and had some loving and very caring relationships which helped tremendously in overcoming the huge negative impact of that combination of experiences in my 20s. My current husband and I have been very happy together for 30 years.
I do have one lingering vestige of that trauma that I can't seem to shake, even after all this time--a heightened startle reflex. If anyone, (usually a family member) enters a room where I am and I'm not expecting them or don't see them (back turned) I very often will jump or scream a little. I don't seem to be able to control that. My husband and children kid me about it, talk about wearing a cow bell, etc. They've all seen that reaction plenty of times. I'm not a timid person at all, but I just can't seem to undo the unconscious impulse which I attribute to the indelible imprinting of that shocking awakening 40 years ago.

[MADem]

17. You are a very strong and brave person to have survived that and

not let it overtake and overcome you. Your former husband was obtuse and he lost out when he lost you, big time. Your present husband is a lucky guy.

[cynannmarie]

29. what a wonderfully kind thing to say. Thank you.

[Liberal_in_LA]

20. Omg. What an ordeal. I am sorry u had that experience

[JayhawkSD]

18. Jumped out of my sailboat, drunk, forgetting that I can't swim.

Had no pulse and was not breathing when they pulled me out. Restarted several times as a guy did CPR for thirty minutes until the ambulance got there. Heart stopped again in the ER. Recall being outside my body several times and watching them working on me and wanting them to tell them it did not matter since I was entirely at peace. When I woke up fully concious in ICU I was actually sad that I had lost that peaceful feeling.

As with most people who have had similar "near death experience," and as several have commented here, I no longer fear dying. I didn't even realize that until some years later.

[Blue_In_AK]

19. I've been in some dangerous situations

but never really feared for my life, so I haven't personally been close to death, but people very close to me died suddenly (my mother in a car wreck and my brother in a hunting accident) when I was a little girl. Despite that, I don't fear the Reaper.

[Solly Mack]

23. I fell off a mountain ledge and broke my back.

I was the only person to have survived that particular fall at the time. Don't know what the stats are now. Everyone before either hit their heads or broke their necks and died. This was 22 years ago.

The primary park ranger came by to look at me and told me the only reason he came out was because he was told there was a survivor. He didn't believe it, so he had to see me for himself. He was smiling - happy I was alive. (me, too)

They first tried rescue by chopper but the trees got in the way and then several men carried me up and out. Two of my rescuers fell into the river and had to be fished out.

I don't dive off cliffs anymore.

Oh, and I was diagnosed with cancer but the two aren't the same. I just knew I was going to die while falling and I knew I could die because of the cancer. Totally different kind of fear.

[Dr. Xavier]

24. I am waiting for biopsy results as I write...

had scarlet fever as a 4 year old... had a gun pointed at me by the local gangbanger at 11... numerous car and motorcycle accidents... been through seven major earthquakes (6.5 or higher)... I know the results are going to be fine and I am not afraid of dying... what taught me that lesson was not the close calls but what I learned a couple of years ago, after I saved a man's life... I performed CPR despite never having taken a class (learned through osmosis)... Hemingway was wrong... those that challenge death aren't the truly living, its those who challenge life... from what I have read here, surviving and not giving up after surviving is the strongest indication of someone who challenges life... Stay Strong, my friends...

[Squinch]

93. Good luck with the results. You stay strong too, my dear!

[world wide wally]

25. I'm sure I'm closer right now than I was a minute ago

[Hairy Harry Potlover]

26. Cairo, 1985

A paperwork snafu prevented me from getting on Arrow Air 1285, which ended up crashing in Canada on its way back to Fort Campbell. And I don't give a shit what the "official report" says, it was fucking terrorism, plain and simple!

[DashOneBravo]

35. SSG John Millet

Last edited Tue May 17, 2016, 03:39 PM - Edit history (1)

Son of COL Lewis Millet (Medal of Honor- Korea) was on that flight.

About ten years after the crash I met a guy who as a 2LT was part of the body recovering misson. It was horrible he said.

Glad you missed it.

[Fuddnik]

138. I used to work with a guy, who visited Vietnam in the 90's.

He left his passport in the hotel, and they wouldn't let him board his flight. The plane flew into the side of a mountain, with no survivors. And he's still pissed off to this day that they wouldn't let him on that flight.

[KT2000]

27. strangled until I saw stars

then the stars started to fade to black.
I continue to be wary of the dark side in people.

[LastLiberal in PalmSprings]

28. A near miss with another aircraft about 20 feet away

We were flying a night airdrop mission in C141s (1000 feet above the ground at 300 mph) when a private plane passed right over the cockpit. We could see him in the leading edge lights and hear his engine as he passed. He had seen us at the last instant and pulled up to miss us. Otherwise, splat!

My immediate response was, "That was interesting..." The next day I thought long and hard and made the decision to keep flying -- the rewards far exceeded the risks.

[gwheezie]

30. Twice

Someone broke into my house and held me hostage for 2days in-between beatings and rapes all I could think of was staying alive and being thankful my daughter spent the weekend at her cousins.
By Sunday afternoon it was getting close to when I expected my daughter home, so I flirted with the nut and told him I was getting to like him a little bit and the lunatic believed me. So I told him I was going to the kitchen to fix some pork chops and he watched me walk to the kitchen and I bolted out the door. He was chasing me and shooting at me. I learned it's hard to hit a moving target.
Last year I went to the beach with my daughter and grandson. He can swim in a pool but hes not an ocean swimmer. We were out jumping the waves and I told that kid we had to swim into the wave to get over the crest. Doncha know a big one was coming and the dopey kid froze. So I grabbed him and it knocked us down. We got caught in the undertow and it was pulling us under and out. He was behind me and I couldn't let go of him. I thought I'm not letting go. I remember being under the water and thinking I only had a second to save him and I don't know how I did it but with my one hand holding him, I threw him over the top of me and in front of me towards the shore. I kept him in front of me by holding onto him, staying under the water so I could stand and pushing him as hard as I could. He got to where he could stand up and get himself in. I was too weak to get myself up but I was out of the rip and was able to crawl out of the water. I learned I'd die to save my grandson without a second thought. He was pretty shook up but I told him Tyler I'm so glad you helped me.

[womanofthehills]

31. Western rattlesnake bite - & fell backward down stairs

2 yrs ago a rattler bit me twice - he was asleep under a flower pot that I straightened. In the ambulance that was taking me to a waiting helicopter, I was sure I was dying because I was having trouble breathing. One of my friends was in the ambulance with me and I was telling her it was nice knowing her etc. I asked the ambulance staff for epi but it's a small town and all volunteer and no one was trained to do it so they put oxygen over my face. As soon as I got the oxygen, I knew I was going to live as I could suddenly breathe. I ended up getting 16 vials of anti-venom which was $80,000. I usually see about 2 or 3 rattlers around my house each year - now I am so freaked out - I have snake gaters.

I have a landing at the top of my stairs and I put one of my photo printers there so I would not smell the ink when I printed. I was pulling a print out of the printer and I tripped and flipped backwards down the stairs - I summersaulted all the way down - 14 stairs - I was wondering if I would live and if this would be it. I landed sitting up at the bottom of the stairs - I demolishied my shoulder and had a reverse shoulder replacement. The surgeon said he had fun trying to figure out how to put it back together. This happened a year before the rattlesnake bite.

It effected me by making me feel vulnerable - like I could be fine one minute and dead the next.

[CentralMass]

32. When I was in 5th grade I accidently put my hand through a window.

The glass severed the main artery in my wrist. I was home alone and I made to my neighbors door and passed out as they answered it. They applied a tourniquet wrapped my arm in towels ( I regained consciousness) and rushed me to the hospital in their vehicle. I nearly bled to death on the trip. The husband drove while the wife cradled me in the back seat. Don't ask me how but I remember much of it to this day. I remember going from cold to warm to a calm peaceful state. I started to lose vision and could see only gray and I asked my neighbor if I was going to die and she said " I don't know honey I don't know". The gray turned to a bright white as I faded out of conciouness. We had arrived at the hospital just in time and I came to on the operating table. Years later I realized that this was my "white light" incident.

[Victor_c3]

45. I had a similar experience with bleeding out

other than the nausea that I remember feeling towards the blacking out part I remember it not being very unpleasant or scary at all. I didn't even feel any pain until well after I was stitched up an hour or two or three later (I don't remember how long it took for everything to happen around me. Time was a blur.

Calmness and feeling at peace with what was happening around me was what I remember the most. I wasn't at all scared.

[Nay]

56. I also had a bleeding out experience. I had had Braxton-Hicks contractions

for a few hours, so my MIL and I drove to the hospital (50 miles) to get checked out. It was lucky we did, because they admitted me just as a precaution, not seeing anything particularly wrong yet, but the ER doc was uneasy. God bless that guy. He saved my life. A few hours later, as a set of nursing students visited me, a gush of blood came out of me so forcefully that it poured off the end of the bed. The students actually screamed. I had placenta previa and was bleeding out, basically. If I had been at home, I would have died.

Rushed to surgery, baby and I were OK. I remember feeling quite peaceful about it all, except that I hoped they would save my little guy. He was waaaaay early, but he was fine.

[msanthrope]

34. Drowned when I was a kid, lucky the lifeguard was there. Bled out during childbirth

and would have died but for an intrepid intern who used basically her whole body to stanch the massive bleeding and get me to the OR.

[womanofthehills]

116. I also bled out - having a miscarriage

I was in a catholic hospital In NC and they would not do a D&C even thought the baby had died - that would be abortion. Duh!

If I wasn't in the hospital I would have died. It was like turning on 2 faucets full blast. Then when I got pregnant again and had my daughter, I bled out again.

[skip fox]

36. Two years ago (last day of finals, Spring 2014), while grading

I had a heart attack.

Perhaps I was not dead, but I saw nothing. No dimension from which even to perceive. Perhaps I was only passed out or perhaps I woke up before the flames began, as I tell my students, but there was not anything. And it was quite refreshing (perhaps in a metaphysical sense). I was not displeased.

About two weeks later, I was revising some fiction and briefly plunged into inconsolable sadness. A sadness I had never known (and I had felt my father's corpse cool in the predawn several years previously). Everything was gone, everything had been stripped from me, my boyhood, my family, my work, my words, memory, self. Although this lasted less than a minute, like my death (if that's what it was) it resonates strongly within me still. In fact, these are two "poles" of my reflection.

Is life infinitely valuable? Or is life absolutely worthless? I cannot resolve the two, and I told the same to a Rikki Ducornet, the lovely writer, over the phone months later, and she instantly said, "That's the mystery, isn't it?"

Isn't it?

On edit: Yes, like the others, I no longer have a strong fear of death. How can you be afraid of nothing? Well . . .

[Brickbat]

49. Your description of your brief bout of depression resonates with me.

That's how I experienced it. It was very difficult and lasted for months, and I eventually took medication to get out of it. Since then, I remember the feeling, but am not immersed in it -- it's like a pool I can look and remember what it was like to be in it. At the same time, the experience changed the way I think about myself and all of existence, and I found it very freeing.

[Blue_Tires]

37. I almost drowned in a swimming pool as a kid

and I don't have the time or the words to fully express how it affected me...

[Solomon]

38. Had a massive heart attack almost 4 years ago.

The kind I had is called the "widowmaker" because most don't survive it. Made me change my life. I exercise daily and eat proper foods. Made me see how easy it is to die. I try to enjoy things more now I'm not as scared of dying anymore.

[boston bean]

39. I almost drowned in a pool full of people when I was a kid.

And I also almost froze to death, also when I was younger.

two times when I was little. But remember each event vividly.

[Adrahil]

40. For me, it was almost driving off the side of a mountain.

In college, I was camping with some friends in Pennsylvania. One of our number got very sick,mand we cied he needed to get home, so I volunteered, we packed up our crap and left the site around midnight. It was a 4 hour drive home. I way undrestimated how tired I was. My buddy was so sick, he just slept the whole trip, but at one point, despite coffee and music, I find myself waking up in the median strip going 60 Mph. It was literally the only stretch of road in 50 miles I could have done that without hitting trees, or careening down a very steep slope. That was my "death takes a holiday" moment. Since then, I never drive when Inam too tired. Ever. That was too close.

[meaculpa2011]

41. A young gentleman shoved a .38 revolver into...

my ribs and pulled back the hammer.

He and his business associate made off with $11 and a 13 inch B&W television.

He may have had no intention to harm me, but by cocking the gun it would have fired if he sneezed. They were apprehended the following week when they shot a store owner during a holdup in the same neighborhood. Thankfully it was not serious. I was set to testify, but the two honor students pleaded out rather than go to trial.

It happened 46 years ago and I can honestly say that it has had no ill effect, although I remember every detail as if it happened this morning.

[GliderGuider]

42. 50 years ago when I was 15 I made a gun that exploded when I fired it

It was a rifle-like contraption made of a 1/2" steel pipe barrel that I had blocked at one end with a hinge pin I'd hammered in tight. I sawed a touch-hole into the wall of the pipe to light the powder I'd made. At the last second I moved my head aside from where I'd been sighting down the barrel of the gun.

When I lit it off the steel pipe flowered open and bent in half. That hinge pin went about two inches to the right of my ear, back through the front window of my house 100 feet away, where it left a punched hole in the glass like a .303 round, and ricocheted off the brick wall on the other side of the room about 6 feet from where my father was sitting. It was probably moving at better than 1000 fps. I can still see the perfect round impression the head of the hinge pin made when it hit the wall.

I think I used a little too much powder...

I no longer mess with things that go bang.

[Victor_c3]

43. Short answer to your biig question

I noticed your story was, like mine, from combat experiences.

I've had many. Like you said, I laughed after most of them and, even to this day, some of them still seem funny to me.

I was in Iraq from Feb 2004 through March 2005, I can even recount the exact dates of many of them. The really close calls I had weren't that scary to me at the time. Often times, the seriousness of the incident didn't strike me until well after I was out of Iraq. The times that were most scary to me didn't actually correlate with the times that I was in the most danger. To me, I was most scared when I expected an ambush or I knew an attack was imminent (like when you roll through a street that is normally bustling and busy and all of a sudden it is completely vacant). Once the enemy engaged us my fear subsided and anger took over and I didn't care.

The impacts it had on me are rather extensive. I got out of the Army in October of 2007 and have been dealing with worsening PTSD for nearly 10 years now. At first, it wasn't that bad but slowly over the years it has become totally disabling to me. I lost my job just over a year ago due to it and I now collect a rather healthy disability retirement from SSDI, the VA, and my former employer. Life is finally starting to look up for me right now, but I'm still dealing with the aftereffects.

Early in my deployment I got scared at the idea of dying but towards the end I didn't care anymore.

The biggest thing for me is when I get angry I get really angry and I become very confrontational. When I'm in those states I really don't give a fuck about anything and it is all I can do to not totally destroy everything around me. From my experiences in Iraq I got used to the idea of dying and I experienced it enough that I honestly just stopped caring. Since I left the Army it has manifested itself in me as a near constant state of suicidal ideation.

I had a very serious suicide attempt where I actually cut my wrists multiple times and ran around the house spraying my blood all over my wife and everything. In my fit of rage I honestly wanted to die and expected to. Afterwards I came to the realization, that, when facing and expecting death that it is painless and not scary at all. I suspected that would be the case after I watched people die when I was in Iraq when we'd find them after a firefight or I'd come across survivors after an explosion, but I knew for sure after my own experience.

For me it has been a struggle to get myself to care about trying to stay alive. I have two kids that depend on me financially and that does a great job. However, in the moments of rage that I get, I often don't even think about them or anything else.

Again, the aftereffects have had a very profound impact on my life - so much so that I don't even know if I can do a good job putting it into words.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

44. A drunk ran a red at 50-60 mph, and t-boned us.

She had just been released from jail for beating her kids when drunk. She was celebrating her release.

[TipTok]

58. That is a big fat stereotype right there...

[ChairmanAgnostic]

59. Huh? What are you talking about?

I've had 6 surgeries, I wake up in agony each day, and my spouse was in a coma. What the hell are you talking about?

[Orrex]

62. I read it as "that asshole driver is a big, fat embodiment of the stereotype"

[ChairmanAgnostic]

64. ah. Thanks.

TSA sees real purty pictures of the back when I travel. Although standing in line for 2 hours would be a horror, on top of the flight time. I'd rather drive.

[MADem]

80. I can understand why you took the remark the wrong way.

I was a bit flummoxed myself.

Glad to see it was just a bit of shorthand. This is an interesting thread. We have some brave and fascinating people amongst us!

[TipTok]

67. Not you...

The drunk...

[ChairmanAgnostic]

72. thanks.

Somehow I didn't catch the ref on my first read.

It was a beautiful, bright, sunny, summer day. Not something you expect to happen.

[mnhtnbb]

46. I was told--when older--that I almost died from a

severe UTI when I was about 6. I had an anatomical problem--ureteral reflux--which resulted in numerous
UTI's when a child. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vesicoureteral-reflux/basics/definition/con-20031544
I was on prophylactic antibiotics for years as a kid until I was about 12. The antibiotics I took stopped working, my temp spiked and they didn't know what else to do.
Then, they kicked in, my temp came down, and I was ok. I eventually outgrew the problem. From all the years of having to take meds every day, I HATE taking
meds of any kind. But from all the hospitalizations I had so I could have IV antibiotics, I had no fear or dislike of hospitals and ended up with a career in hospital administration.


The second time I remember: I got caught in a riptide at Moonlight State Beach in Encinitas, CA. A friend had gotten out of the ocean and was sitting on the beach.
There was a lifeguard. I yelled for help, but no one heard me and no one recognized I was in trouble. I realized if I wasn't going to drown I had to get myself
out of the rip current. My Red Cross water safety training kicked in (I was 16 and an excellent swimmer from years of participating on a swim club/swim team)
and I kept swimming parallel to the shore until I got out of the current and was able to come in. I was totally exhausted. My friend couldn't believe I'd been in trouble.

To this day I don't like playing in the waves at the ocean. I went on to become PADI open water certified in my early 30's. I'm fine snorkeling offshore (no waves) or going out
on a boat (I no longer SCUBA dive because of asthma), but I really don't want to play in breaking ocean waves.

[roamer65]

47. A head on auto accident.

Jerk came into my lane at 60 mph and hit me in a frontal offset crash.

I was very lucky. I walked away from it.

[Brickbat]

48. .

Almost drowned when I was about 4. It didn't affect me much, although I remember all of it. To this day I am a poor swimmer, although I don't fear being in the water.

There are a couple of other incidents that were about seven seconds from turning out really poorly for me but in one, bad people made good decisions, and in the other, I got very, very lucky.

I was much more affected by the bout of depression I went through. It was very difficult at the time but has changed the way I see the world, for the better.

[TBF]

50. "Catastrophic medical event"

last year. G-d willing I will turn 50 this summer. I don't think you really understand mortality until you lose a parent or go through something like this. It changes your perspective on what's important, at least for me it did.

[JustAnotherGen]

51. Sunday April 11, 2004

Full heart stop.

I don't discuss the details outside of a few inner circle folks but my experience lead me to a few hard truths I live by -

There is no hell.
I do not believe in the Trinity.
Nothing in my life is random.
There is no such thing as 'one true soul mate'

I knew my husband immediately when I met him on Halloween 2009. I knew precisely who he was.
I understood another relationship was to bring me to proximity to that man's oldest child.
I 'selected' my father and chose to be born in the country I was (West Germany).


That's what I believe - but only those who have been there can understand these 'absolutes'.

[djean111]

52. Took a big handful of stuff that should have killed me when I was 17.

Alone, during the day, no one else home. No family, no one, no one knew about it, before or after.
This was in the early sixties, no internet or anything like that.

Had a sort of classic NDE. Not religious in nature. More like that "five people you meet in heaven" sort of thing. Did not know it was an NDE at the time. Many years later I read about NDEs and thought oh, okay!

Somewhere there is a list of how an NDE changes a person; I found it mostly true. I am sort of matter-of-fact about it, I can't say it made me saintly or anything.

Anyway, whether anyone believes that stuff or not is totally irrelevant. Like religion (I am an atheist), it cannot actually be disproved, only believed or not believed. Which affects nothing. And I have never understood the need some have to jeer or disprove. Like little authoritative junior thought police. Feh.

Other stuff - my brother almost drowned me, because he couldn't swim, when I was about 14. I just felt confusion. And I almost choked to death on a hard taco shell at a county fair - I remember being scared and angry because what a stupid way to go. And never ate a hard taco shell since.

[enid602]

53. 1977

I was pretty badly beaten in the face with a gun butt by Hanafi Muslims in the B'nai B'rith takeover in Washington, DC on March 9, 1977. They had taken over the B'nai B'rith, Washington City hall and I forget the third location. Because I was pretty badly beaten at the beginning of the siege, I was released after a few hours, whereas many others were kept as hostages for a longer period.

[CTyankee]

54. I had been hospitalized when my blood pressure went crazy and decided that I was dying

and there was no way I could be saved. So when I was resting at home I decided I couldn't die without going to Provence. I called a travel company and booked a river cruise that went down the Rhone to Provence. My bank account took a real hit but seeing as how I was dying and all I didn't care.

My doctor prescribed an increase in my b.p meds and when I came in to see him he took the bp reading and said "what are you so worried about? you've got it under control with the additional meds." He had been reassuring me all along but not till then did I believe it.

[AngryAmish]

55. Almost got hit by a train.

I was a kid, late for dinner, running across a track and a commuter train going 50 almost hit me.

Learned not to run across tracks.

[Liberal_Dog]

57. Going To Visit My Grandparents When I Was A Boy

My grandparents lived in the mountains(Lynch, Ky).

My Dad would always drive the mountain roads like the Grand Prix. I remember many times thinking that we were going to go over the side.

I still get chills thinking about it.

[Javaman]

60. I almost bled to death when I was 9...

I remember the blood draining from my body and getting so weak.

I remember my mom trying to shake me to stay awake. It was dream like.

I remember the ride to the hospital in the back of my sisters old ford nova station wagon. Laying on the back seat and seeing the reflections of colored lights on the rear window playing by as she drove.

I remember seeing the stream of blood pouring from my nose on the hallway floor when I was being rushed into the emergency room.

I felt my life literally emptying out of me.

I remember a small Indian doctor cauterizing my nose. I then passed out. I thought I died.

I lost close to 2 quarts of blood.

Apparently, they also set up an IV of blood plasma as soon as I was on the table.

It was only years later, that I came to truly appreciate how close I came to bleeding to death.

I still reflect upon it to this day.

I have always been the "gentle one", "the sensitive one" in my family. I can directly attribute it to that moment in my life.

[Orrex]

63. Holy shit--I have nothing at all to compare to anything posted in this thread.

I even contemplated posting something silly and snarky, but that impulse sort of vanished as I read through others' experiences.


Quite a potent reminder to reflect on one's good fortune!

[jberryhill]

82. I took all the tags off my mattresses and pillows

If I'm ever caught, its curtains.

[Orrex]

98. Well, if we're baring our souls...

I swallowed a green marble from the game Stay Alive when I was three.

It'll probably catch up with me eventually.

[jberryhill]

108. Whoa, dude, that's living on the edge

[pnwmom]

65. B.P. 58/36.

Fluids didn't help so they finally decided it was sepsis and gave me antibiotics.

Kind of scary, still, to think about it.

[Rex]

66. I suffer from sleep apnea, so every night might be my last night.

There have been plenty of nights that I awoke and had to force myself to start breathing. So every night is-could be as close to death as I can come without dying.

I appreciate every day I wake up, like it will be my last.

[broiles]

79. Have you tried a C-PAP? Works perfectly for my husband.

[Act_of_Reparation]

83. CPAP works wonders for me.

Without the machine I stop breathing an average of 132 times an hour, so my case is pretty severe.

[Texasgal]

68. I was attacked

beaten, raped and drug into the woods when I was 16 years old. My attack lasted for 3 hours until he finally got cold and couldn't do it anymore. He walked away, leaving me there in the middle of the night. I did not think I would survive until the sun started coming up from the branches in the trees. I got up and ran with only a shirt on and one tennis shoe. I found a lady taking her trash out and screamed at her "help me"!!!

I'm still suprised that I am still alive. It was hard to talk about for a very long time. I felt shame and felt dirty. I have finally moved passed that thank goodness!

[TipTok]

69. Glad to hear it...

Anything come of it for your attacker?

[Texasgal]

70. He served 5 years

Lives in another state now days.

[kwassa]

71. Half a dozen different things ....

I almost drowned as a child when I jumped out of a rowboat in water over my head, and my upset brother rowed away rather than toward me. My dad did a running dive off the dock and swam out and saved me. I still have a strong memory of it.

I saved a young Japanese tourist from drowning in Haunama Bay in Hawaii, who was getting sucked out between the reefs by a tidal surge. I almost drowned myself in the process, but I didn't feel like I could give up. No one saw the rescue but me and her boyfriend; they disappeared with the lifeguard when he finally showed up, while I recovered completely out of breath on the reef itself. It was quite surreal.

I had two serious auto accidents as teenager, the first where I hit snow drifted across the road, spun out into a ditch in snowy slow motion. Then the car rolled over upside down and backwards into a phone poll. I had a belt on and ended up unharmed. The second was on the same road when a man unfamiliar with the area was driving too fast, blew the curve and hit me hard in the side. Fortunately it was right behind the driver's door, knocked my car up on it's side in the same ditch. Again, I had on a belt and only had a few scratches.

I had a heart attack six years ago, but didn't know that what it was, because the pain was in my back, and was excruciating. When I went to the ER, they made me wait, then got all worried when the result of the blood test came back. I had actually a series of attacks leading up to the really bad one. I have no risk factors at all, not even family history. I have naturally low blood pressure.

The closet I came to dying was from, of all things, misusing a steroid skin medication in an excessive amount. This had the effect of shutting down my adrenal gland, which regulates all kinds of things in the body. This was just bizarre, but I called 911 this time, knowing only that something was very wrong, but I had no idea what. The ambulance people thought they were wasting their time until my blood pressure dropped to 50/25 on the way to the hospital, then they freaked out. I felt the same feeling of calm peacefulness that others on this thread talk about, I was watching the sun rise through the big rear window on the ambulance, and thought that dying was not such a bad thing. I could actually feel different parts of my body shutting down.

The net effect is to make me more thoughtful about life, and make me value the present more, and the people in it.

[NightWatcher]

73. I've eaten at Chipotle.....Twice!

Aside from that, I've been shot at three times, been on the verge of liver and kidney failure, almost fell off of a mountain, survived a fire on a ship at sea....

I try not to think about it, but instead I live every day to the fullest.

[MADem]

85. LOL @ Chipotle! Those poor folks, I actually like their food!

A fire at SEA? That must have been terrifying! Small boat, or large ship? Or something in between?

[NightWatcher]

96. A large dredge. We lost all controls and drifted dark into a shipping channel

The fire was put out but we lost steerage and power and floated till we could get a tow to safe anchorage.

[MADem]

97. Oh my-that must have been nerve-wracking as hell. nt

[KamaAina]

74. I faceplanted down a staircase at a Muni station in SF a couple of years ago

the docs were amazed I didn't have a brain injury!

How did it affect me? Not really sure.

[LiberalArkie]

76. In surgery and the docs were grabbing for the paddles 5 times, each time my heart would

start again before they shocked me.

I guess I should add, I hit a telephone pole at 70MPH without my seatbelt on and no airbags. No marks on me.

Rode a 120 ft communications tower to the ground.

Was on a 600 ft tower that got hit by lightning.

[Faux pas]

77. After 11 (yes eleven) car accidents

Nine of the eleven I was the innocent passenger, guess I'm just a bad passenger lol. I've had that 'oh shit' moment way too many times and don't want any more, thank you.

[nadinbrzezinski]

81. Few times

One included an AK round going through and through my ambulance. Another killing a radiator and slamming into the engine block. Then there is the rappel system that almost failed.

Live life. And really don't sweat the small stuff

[Atman]

84. Surfing.

Wiped out on a big overhead wave. Dragged along the bottom, held under for so long that I had time to think about just taking that one last breath and hoping I would wash ashore in time for someone to resuscitate me. Fortunately, I popped enough just in time to catch a quick breath before being dragged back under.

[kwassa]

88. Body surfing, similar result.

I was on top of the wave, looked down, and saw only wet bare sand about eight feet below me. I knew I was in big trouble. I barely had time to get my elbows down before I hit the sand so hard that it felt like my arms were knocked out of my shoulder joints. The wave mauled me, flipped me over, dragged me, filled every part of me with wet sand. I barely crawled out of there, after the wave finally receded.

I sat up on my towel and studied the waves the rest of the afternoon. There is a definite type of beach shape one should not body surf on. I've seen it on two other beaches where body surfers ended up with neck injuries while I was there.

[handmade34]

86. motorcycle accident

intensive care for days, blood transfusions... doctor saved my leg after 7 surgeries, external fixator, cast, rod in leg, etc... took about 2+ years to heal, very much changed my life ...very, very glad I was wearing a helmet!!

lots of other activities/situations that could have resulted in death but I came out unscathed (or just scarred some)...

[Act_of_Reparation]

87. A stockroom shelf over-loaded with paint buckets collapsed while I was at work.

It was a local hardware store and I was about 16 or 17. The falling wreckage missed me by an inch or so. Can't say it affected me much in the long-run. It makes for a good "remember when" story whenever I meet up with the guys I used to work with.

The closest I've been to death -- not my own, but the process more generally -- was watching my grandfather die of liver cancer. Watching him waste away, first terrified and then out of his mind with pain and painkillers, cemented a few philosophical cornerstones holding up my worldview. The first: the universe is capricious. The second: there's no God or gods looking after you. The third: best get living while you still can.

[ScreamingMeemie]

111. This one hits me. My dad worked for American Axle and a rack of axles fell over, missing him by

inches and killing a guy standing farther down the row. I'm glad you were in the right place too.

[callous taoboy]

89. Crashed a Cessna in a field.

It's a long story, but I had already landed safely in the field because I was young and inexperienced and lost (15, with only one other solo flying experience).. Because of foolish pride I decided to take off after talking to some lady who lived near the field and I knew how to get home and didn't want anyone to ever find out about this. Boy, did they ever find out. I was taking off down this field, the tree line was coming up and I was getting no lift to get off the ground, so I pushed the throttle back in to abort, hit a rut in the field, nosed the plane into the ground and flipped over onto its back. Smoke billowing out of the fuselage I crawled out the window, ran back to the lady's house, called my flight instructor 100 miles away. That was a very long night, then had to drive back out there to talk to the FAA about the incident. He was a real dick about it.

[lunatica]

90. When I was 4 or 5 I fell out of a car while driving on a highway

I don't know how the door opened and in those days there were no seat belts so I guess I just fell out and landed face first on the highway. I don't remember falling out or the landing at all. But I do remember waking up and my mother was holding me in her lap and telling my father, who was driving, to hurry up. I was trying to show my mother that my hand hurt but she didn't respond to me, then I must have lost consciousness again. They took me to a hospital where I woke up in a hospital bed. My mother says I was unconscious for 12 hours and that it was touch and go whether I would live or die.

There were no broken bones or any brain damage but I did have really ugly large scabs covering my face and one of my hands for awhile. Years later it was necessary to fix my septum so I could breath normally. I have no scars.

That was more than 60 years ago.

A couple of years ago I had a Uterine tract infection that got into my kidneys, and strangely enough, the doctors said it got into my bone marrow too. The thing about it was that I never felt any pain so I didn't know I was sick. And one of the symptoms is confusion so it's easy to not realize something is wrong. My supervisor took me to the hospital because my balance was pretty bad and, of course, my work was a mess because I couldn't think straight. I think no one noticed because my job is in a cubicle and in front of a computer with very little interaction with other people. When I was in the hospital I was unconscious within 2 hours. The doctor told me later that it would have killed me if I hadn't been brought to the hospital.

[Contrary1]

91. Ectopic pregnancy back in the 80's...

Thought the ache in my belly was due to a pulled muscle. I have a very high level of pain tolerance, which is not always a good thing. And, so I put up with it for a few days.

When I stood up late one night, momentarily blacked out, and fell against the wall, I knew it had to be something a bit more serious.

I had been bleeding internally for days. I didn't realize just how serious my condition was, until they stationed a nurse in my ER stall doing crossword puzzles, "because it was a slow night, and she had nothing else to do".

I had emergency surgery at 4 am, and recovered quickly. It did not affect me so much as far as the life and death thing went, but we had been hoping for another child, and that part was heartbreaking.

[Squinch]

92. I have 4 of them: 1 anaphalactic shock and 3 gun incidents when I worked in the

projects in the South Bronx.

I was an endangered bystander (twice REALLY endangered - once the gun pointed at me from a close distance, once the gun fired at me and missed from a farther distance) in the gun incidents. The other time I just drove up on a gun fight between two guys and some cops as it was ending.

[pinboy3niner]

94. As far as effects go...

...one thing common to many trauma survivors is what psychologists call "a sense of a foreshortened future." An expectation that you will not live very long.

In my case it was mostly subconscious, but I expected to be dead before 30. I didn't realize it or understand why until many years later. It wasn't just from being wounded in war and nearly dying. I'd seen others die young, and I knew more than 60 guys who were killed in Vietnam--some at 18 or 19. Without consciously knowing it, that affected my expectations about life.

I'm still amazed that I've lived as long as I have.

[kairos12]

95. Nearly rappelled off the end of my rope 2000 feet up on the Matterhorn.

I learned to double check everything when my safety or another's is potentially at risk. I continued to climb for another 30 years without incident.

[Mother Of Four]

99. There have been a few times in my life -

The one I'm willing to share:

I was having my fourth child, I call her my miracle girl. At 12 weeks my blood pressure was way too high and because of my medical history I was told I should terminate. Due to personal choice I refused. By 28 weeks I was a gestational diabetic and preeclamptic. They put me in the hospital. At 32 weeks I started to fail, I had moon face and disney cartoon hands. They said they would have to induce me right then, as they were wheeling me out they called my husband and said “If you want to be here for the birth, get here now”

I kept passing out during delivery and came close to having an emergency C section, I became combative and wouldn't let them put O2 on me. My husband said he was terrified, that he didn't think someone could still die from childbirth in this day and age. He told me after I came home from the hospital that he would grab my face and yell at me not to leave him. (I don't really remember this part, this is via nurses and my husband)

I came alert when it was time to push. When my girl was born my placenta tore apart into multiple sections, there was blood everywhere. The doctor had it up to her elbows, it was all over the bed and the floor. Due to the super high blood pressure and the tears it was a mess. For some reason my uterus wasn't contracting well. They had to reach in and take the rest out. I was hooked up to all kinds of bags for 36+ hours afterwards. They kept me in recovery with round the clock eyes. I don't remember what they did very well because I was in and out. I do remember them coming in and rubbing/knuckling my belly over and over again, and changing out the chucks when they did. I remember being both hot and cold, if that makes any sense, and really really tired, it felt like I had lead tied to my wrists and strapped to my forehead. My husband said when I would try to talk I sounded drunk. During that time my daughter stopped breathing and turned a horrible gray color. They had to revive her and take her to neonatal, I didn't get to hold her.

My first crystal clear memory was waking up to see my husband hunched over my legs at the end of the bed asleep. After they got the bleeding under control they moved me to a private room for the next week. I had to take a wheelchair to see my daughter in NICU.

This was almost 20 years ago.

How did it affect me?

It took me over a year to fully recover, because in my mule hardheadedness I adamantly refused a hysterectomy. Looking back, if I could slap myself I would and say 'Take the damn surgery'.

I have what I call “snapshots” in my head of the birth. Little frozen bits of time. I remember my husbands breath smelled like coffee and the feel of his unshaven cheek on mine. I remember in bursts pounding on the wall over my head. I have a flash of my Dr's face looking at me as she sat at the end of the delivery table with blood all over her. The smell of blood is really strong to me now, like a combination of peat and an old penny. This is probably going to sound strange, but it's like I'm not just smelling it. It's like I'm breathing syrup. Not bad, just “Yeah, that's definitely blood.” Before I had my daughter I had difficulty with blood, after? Well, after I ended up becoming an EMT with a iron clad stomach.

When I was still able to ride, we would take a patient to the ER and I'd know as soon as we got them there if someone was actively bleeding in one of the rooms nearby. I was one of the calmest when dealing with death on the truck, or when we had to transport a body to the morgue.

The biggest way it changed me was before then I was terrified of dying, the process, the fear of “Will it hurt?” Heaven, Hell … all of it. Now, especially with the times I came close after that, I'm very matter of fact about death. One of my friends called it cold, when my mother passed away and I didn't cry. When my brother passed on a few years ago, it was just myself and two others at the viewing. I couldn't cry then either. To me, the body is just a shell. The soul, a candle flame that's been blown out. There's no big bearded man waiting to welcome me, no flame licked pitchfork below. When anyone goes, when I'm gone, we're all just... gone.

This is a lot longer than I anticipated it to be, I'm finding it really hard to put the feelings and my views to text. I ended up writing it in Open Office. Sorry about that.

[cherokeeprogressive]

100. Had a personal experience with William Bonin, AKA "The Freeway Killer" and sidekick Vernon Butts.

Was hitchhiking home from work in 1979 in La Mirada, CA. Bonin pulled up in his Ford Econoline van and did his level best to get me in. I refused. He circled back around the block three times and kept trying until I got smart and left the street to watch from behind a tree. Their MO was to have Butts hide in the back of the van and strangle the young boys/men from behind with a tshirt and a tire iron once they got into the passenger seat. They then sodomized their dead bodies before dumping them.

Butts actually attended my high school before I was a freshman and I met him when I was a senior. He was doing some cheesy magician act on the steps of a bowling alley called Keystone Lanes in Norwalk, CA a couple of years before he was caught with Bonin.

[Tony_FLADEM]

101. One time I was driving north and an ambulance was going west about 60-70 miles per hour

and it missed crashing into me by about 5 seconds. I did not see it until I was at the intersection.

[L. Coyote]

102. What is the closest you have ever come to feeling alive?

What is the closest you have ever come to feeling alive?

[auntpurl]

105. I was drunk, he was drunk

(this was many years ago when I was about 19)

I was on the back of a Kawasaki Ninja, going over 100mph down a city street at 3:00am. I was not wearing a helmet. There's no back rest on a Ninja; I was holding on around his waist. We went over a big bump - I think he hit a rock. I lost my grip and began to fall backwards. I had a moment to realise this was how I was going to die. Somehow, he managed to reach behind him and grab me, and I regained my grip around his waist.

I can still remember exactly how the falling felt. One of many, many reasons I stopped drinking.

[Thor_MN]

106. Going in for my 50,000 mile check (three years late...)

They removed 5 polyps. One of the sites decided to start bleeding after they finished. I drove myself back to the hospital after filling the toilet with blood a couple times. 4 liters IV saline and a transfusion later it healed itself. The lowest BP was 76 over 59. They were surprised that I could walk without any dizziness, but I never felt lightheaded. It was weird seeing my nailbeds so pale and I imagine that I was rocking a Casper the Ghost impression.

That was Jan 13th and I remember being annoyed that I won the wrong lottery.

[Maedhros]

107. In the back seat of an Opel GT sliding sideways toward a bridge pylon at 70 MPH.

At the last second, tires got traction and the car straightened out. Saw the pylon go by me about 2 feet away.

[GaYellowDawg]

109. After an angioplasty...

Found out that I'd been walking around and working with a 95% blockage of my LAD (that's the widowmaker). I was an arterial spasm or a tiny blood clot away from death, apparently for weeks. My response? I've lost 100 pounds since the surgery (about a year and a half ago).

Also, I ran out in front of a flatbed wrecker in a 1977 Toyota Corona. Tried to catch a left turn signal. Fortunately at the last second I slammed on the brakes and cut the wheel hard left. I totally lost traction and got spun around instead of pushed. A completely unconscious reaction probably saved my life. My response? Obey the damn traffic lights!

Oh yeah, I was merging onto a highway and sideswiped an 18 wheeler. I'd looked back and he was in the fast lane. When I merged, he'd merged into the slow lane. He didn't use a turn signal. I heard this massive CRRNCCH, looked over, and there were lugnuts about 6 inches from my face. I started yelling "Steer for control! Steer for control!" Managed not to panic or slam on the brakes and just eased the wheel over. Now I watch until the last second when I merge into a highway or Interstate.

And I also remember almost drowning in a neighborhood pool. Went down twice before my sister pulled me out. Damn lifeguard was flirting with someone. My response to that was to learn to f'in swim and never trust a lifeguard again.

[Xithras]

112. Steel bar fell out the back of a truck in front of me on the highway.

I watched it hit the asphalt at 75 MPH, bounce once, and punch through my windshield. As it hit the headrest on my seat and speared the seat behind me, it actually whipped sideways and left a massive bruise on my neck. One inch over and it would have speared me in the neck.

For several minutes, I couldn't mentally get past the realization that I'd escaped death by millimeters. Then it dawned on me that I USUALLY had my daughter with me in the morning, and that she'd have been impaled if her mom hadn't called into work with a cold that morning and decided to keep my daughter home from daycare. That hit me even harder.

Did it affect me? Well, I give scrap metal trucks more space now than I used to. Other than that, the incident simply reinforced the fact that life is random and fleeting, and that you should enjoy the time you have. Tomorrow isn't promised to anybody.

[cagefreesoylentgreen]

113. I was 17

I was 17 and in my high school's parking lot. The last bell had just rung and I was in a rush to my car because I had somewhere to be in 10 minutes.

I remember stepping out between two parallel parked trucks (this was Texas), hearing a screech, and next thing I was rolling off the hood of another student's Mustang. I landed on my hands and knees, and got back up. No cuts or bruises, and I still made it to my appointment on time, because it was that important. I'm sure I scared the other guy though.

It didn't occur to me until years later that if I'd been hit with a different model of car I'd probably be dead. As it was the Mustang's hood was low enough I landed on it when I was hit and rolled off.

[ladyVet]

114. Two times actually dead.

The first was when I was about nine or ten. We were visiting my aunt, and they had one of those above-ground pools. I got in with my cousins (her two sons) and a couple of siblings and was having fun splashing around.

Suddenly, I was dragged under, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get free. I finally had to breathe, and the next thing I remember was looking down as my uncle did CPR (well, what they did back then) and fussing about how they'd drowned me and they better hope I started breathing again.

I remember being upset that my parents and siblings had to live without me because of my dumb ass cousins, and how mad I was at them and my uncle. Later, I tried to tell my parents what happened, but my uncle said I was just playing and nothing actually happened. That was when I started to distrust people on a personal level.

I also have a deathly fear of water, and can't go in much past my knees before the panic sets in. I can be out on even the smallest, most decrepit boat, however. Weird. I also dislike having water flowing over my face, which means I shower with the water to my back and am very careful when washing my hair.

The next time, I was in my early twenties and got sick at work. Within a few days, I'd lost my voice, my nose and throat were swollen so badly I could barely breathe. Idiot husband refused to take me to the doctor, and I was so confused and sick I couldn't do it myself. I had no car anyway, and no friends or family in the area.

One night, I decided to go to bed, since I was exhausted and couldn't eat or even drink much. I propped myself up and drifted off. I became aware that I was floating in a large space, dark and silent. I began to turn, and far away I saw a light, like a door was open. Just as I started to float towards the door, a voice over my shoulder sad "If you don't want to die, you better get up out of this bed right now."

I don't remember consciously deciding it, but the next instant I sat straight up in the bed, gasping. Somehow I'd slipped down and was lying flat on my back. After being sick for nearly a week, I knew I couldn't breathe at all if I was lying down and had slept sitting up.

I felt strange, and frightened at being at the threshold of death. I got up and went to sit in the living room, where I watched my two young sons play. I remember feeling that I came back for them, because I didn't want them to grow up without me. Stupid husband couldn't understand what was going on, because he thought I'd be in bed all night, and I couldn't talk so I couldn't tell anyone what happened.

Oddly enough, right after that I started to recover -- I believe it was a massive sinus infection -- and almost forgot about what happened, just as I had about the drowning incident.

It wasn't until years later that I learned about near death experiences and realized I'd had two. Like most, I don't fear death. I believe in reincarnation, so I know I'll be back. I don't really get very sad when family or friends pass on (except for sympathy for those they leave behind), because I know death is not the end.

Anyway, those were my two closest experiences. There have been a few other times I didn't get to actual death, just almost.

Edited to add: I don't think I'm going to have a short life. I believe I'm going to live a long time, into my nineties, at least. Don't know why, but this is something I've felt for the last few years. Which is odd because from a very young age I had a dream where I was walking through a cemetery. All the tombstones are facing away from me. I get to a certain one, walk around it to look, and it has my name, birthdate and the day I die: on my fortieth birthday.

On my fortieth, I went to see Titanic, and believe me, waiting in line halfway through it until a toilet stall came empty, with my bladder was about to burst, it felt like I was going to die. I'm eighteen years past that day and still kicking. Okay, shuffling, but I'm still here.

[bhikkhu]

115. I've thought about that one for a bit now...

I was a fairly reckless driver when I was younger and had many close calls. I have to drive all the time nowadays for work, and still have close calls. No one incident sticks out, but I always remind myself how easy it is to die in a car and how dependent I am on the (hopefully) predictable driving of others.

Then there's bicycling, where its also easy to die. I've probably got over 100k miles under my wheels in my lifetime and have again had many close calls, but fortunately no serious injuries, except for a concussion in a race once on a mountain descent (entirely my fault). I can ride defensively and avoid most problems, but it is constantly in my mind that I could be hit from behind by a car at any time without warning, and there would be nothing whatsoever I could do about it.

Then hiking and things...I've spent some time alone hiking, once three days from civilization with two days food, hypothermic and so forth. Then I was very aware that any mistake, a slip crossing a creek, a twisted ankle, a wrong turn, would likely lead to my body being found in the mountains some years later. Another time I swam way out into the ocean off the west coast alone in the middle of the night, looked back at the city lights and felt the current pulling me away, then the long swim back. I'm pretty familiar with how the body shut-down of hypothermia feels, but I was always managed to get through hard (and self-imposed) situations ok.

None of that compares to what a lot of people have had to deal with, but I am "aware" of death, and it will come sometime. When your brain dies, thinking ends, who you are stops; simple enough. I'm not afraid of death, but I do think sometimes about what will be my last thoughts, assuming there will be time for that. I imagine I will either be at peace, thinking of what I've gotten done and left behind, or sad about what I haven't gotten done or accomplished . At present I have some things I'm working on that I've been at for years, and one bit of writing I've been working on for most of my adult life. I work as much as I can, and an awareness of death is useful to prioritize things and drive on.

[raptor_rider]

121. Just bleed out internally...

3 times last year was 12 units of blood alone. They didn't think I'd make it through each time last year. Unfortunately, I have. Oh well. So far nothing this year, however that can change...

[DawgHouse]

122. When I was a stupid young person,

my also young husband and I tried to swim across a small river, against the strong current. We were both good swimmers, but this was a bad idea, and tired us out. I remember sinking and trying to tread water when a man from the bank of the river noticed and walked out to grab my arm and pull me in. He did the same to husband. I have no idea who that man was but he saved two lives that day.

What I learned from it is that I am not invincible.

[DiverDave]

124. pneumonia

I wasn't coughing or short of breath, I starter vomiting and couldn't stop. I got very confused and started hallucinating that my ma was with me (she had just passed away 3 weeks before). Wife took me to the ER and found out I had very low blood O2 level. Was told if we had waited 1 more day I would have died.
10 days in the hospital and 2 weeks at home on O2.
Took an overdose of pain pills...on purpose...woke up in the ambulance vowing to do it again.
First week in the VA hospital I was told that chlldren of suicide are 75%? More likely to do the same.
Epiphany, I don't want that to be my legacy for my kids.
That was 3 years ago and I can truly say I am MUCH more at peace with the world and don't fear dieing.
been back at work for 2 years and will see my oldest son graduate from high school next month.
He starts at Temple next fall.
because I decided he didn't need to live with the memory of a dad who killed himself.

,

[CountAllVotes]

126. peritonitus

Had my last rites given to me and five units of blood. Big bill and long recovery ... if ever.

[Thirties Child]

128. I was 15

Six of us were driving to the Beaver River in the Oklahoma Panhandle so the boys could shoot jackrabbits. I sat behind the driver, with a shotgun propped against the seat on my right. I leaned towards the window to get a better view of a pipeline booster station (yes, pipelines in 1950). The car hit a bump, the shotgun went off, where my head had been seconds before. What I got out of it was permanent ringing in my ears. A shotgun going off in a closed car is LOUD. I don't think it changed me, probably because was so young, maybe because I was so shallow. ?????

[TlalocW]

129. Jumping from one rocky ledge to another

This was in high school on a church trip to Colorado. We had stopped at a touristy Indian Trading Post that was high up in the mountains, and it overlooked a pretty good fall, and some of us were climbing around on the rocks. I jumped from one ledge to another (maybe about a 3 to 4 foot in length jump), but when I landed I started skidding toward the edge, falling on my butt still skidding. I immediately flipped over and started clawing at anything that could slow me down. I ended up with a lot of scrapes and most of my body hanging off a ledge to a I don't know how far of a drop (enough to kill me), but I was able to pull myself back up.

TlalocW

[Avalux]

130. A couple of times....

A piece of steak lodged in my throat completely blocking my airway. All I could do was wave my arms frantically and grab my throat to 'tell' my family what was wrong. Thankfully, my partner grabbed me and successfully performed the heimlich. It took forever it seemed, and my sternum was bruised.

If he had not been there I probably would have died. My kids wouldn't have been able to do it.

[justamama83]

131. Had my 2nd heart attack in 2011

I was 46 years old and this one made the first one look like a walk in the park. I was in a death rhythm of 226- which they could not break so they had to cardiovert me 3 times during the night. I was transferred to Our Lady of Lourdes hospital where my cardiologist did an angioplasty- however there were complications- he could not get the stent to fit- and I started to crump out- the last thing I remembered was the thing going in my mouth for the ventilator. Woke up over 24 hours later- restrained - guess I tried to walk away LOL- was giving the nurses heck even in my coma state. I was still intubated but that came out that same day. Had issues with my kidneys from the shocks and the meds...so I was pretty much a mess. Was in for 3 more hospitalizations for congestive heart failure and was out of work 7 months. It totally messed with my mind- I became a hermit- to this day I don't go out much unless it's for work. I still have good and bad days with my breathing- I guess the next step would be a pacemaker but I am not mentally ready for that.

[wain]

132. Watched heart monitor flat line

in the ambulance on the way to the hospital 21 years ago. Got rebooted, and to quote Hubert Humphrey, I've been pleased as punch ever since!

[JonathanRackham]

133. Electrocuted twice.

First time the other electrician told me he had pulled the fuses on a motor circuit (240 DC).

Second time, faulty insulation on an insulted screwdriver (400 Hz, 100 amp Research Radar).

You see stars, go limp and hit the floor.

I never trust anyone's word on an electric circuit. I only work on gear I've locked out and tagged out. It takes longer but I won't work on circuits otherwise.

[Scootaloo]

134. Well...

Probably the closest to actually dying came when I was five or so, and got electrocuted by an open socket.

Since then?

• Came home after school, not knowing parents had had a drunk-fight. Dad was asleep on ht couch with a shotgun pointed right at the door.

• Got bitten by a water moccasin. That was a total panic-job. Everyone freaked, rushed me to the hospital, where I was in the ER for a while, before the doctors figured I was one of those cases where the snake strikes without using fangs.

• I used to get into fights with the skinheads. One time, one of hte fuckers pulled out a knife. A friend of mine got stabbed in the armpit, I got some flesh wounds in my side and thigh. Was a good call to stop picking fights, even with people who deserved it.

• I was once chased through the woods of a public park by some homeless dude who took a few shots at me.

• Then there was the time in Alaska where I got chased by a moose cow while I was trail biking. I'd rather be i nthe fight with that skinhead than do that again.

All togehter? It's made me aware that, first off, my live has been kind of fucking scary. I know there are people with worse, lots of them, but still. Second, it's made me understand that damn near anything can do a person in, at any time, for any dumb fucking reason. I honestly don't worry about myself, but rather the people I'd leave behind.

[Katashi_itto]

135. Helicopter crashed on the landing pad and the helicopter blade went through my open peacoat.

Before flying on and slicing into the Helo manifest. The blade yanked me off my feet as it passed by and I tore myself up on the boat's non-skid.

That was the first real close call I had. I have had several.

Anymore, I simply try to experience every moment.

Knowing that none of it will come again.

[Fuddnik]

137. Which time?

In my younger years, I was involved in MC accidents, gang wars, mob wars, shot at and missed, shit at and hit.

But, I'm still the same lovable guy.