My friend who won't quit her abusive husband
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10027646381For context.
Tried to kill herself Saturday.pills. her now husband had beat her pretty severely last week. Black eye, serious bruising. I, like i have repeatedly, tried to get her to go to WEAVE, but she flaked about five sat night. Told me she was going somewhere, but instead went back to him. She emptied a bottle of pills, and her hubby finally called 911 Sunday morning.
The police have interviewed him but not arrested him, she was too out of it to be interviewed and probably would not press charges anyway. She will recover, but not for a few days.
Her parents tracked me down and told me the whole story a minute ago. He has her phone and apparently lost his temper at the hospital, so he is banned from there.
I am going to her job (bartender in a dive bar) to insure she keeps her job so at least she has that when she gets better. It has been suggested that she go to a mental health situation (not promised) for a month once she recovers her health. So I am going to have to explain that and I know her husband has already been to her job and told his story. I am going to at least try to salvage that so she has something.
This is killing me, I've tried to help her, but she just won't take that first step. I can only do so much, can't offer her alternatives really, and am at a complete nadir in my own life.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I suspect that your conversation has had an important effect. They may approach this whole problem with an entirely different attitude should they be contacted again during another crisis.
Good job. Obviously, we can only do what we can do. 
It's heartbreaking to watch someone you love do something that is so obviously wrong and just going to cause them more pain.
Please remember to take care of yourself. 
Gave me an analogy once. Several years ago I went through a very very nasty event. I did everything short of killing the asshole at the center of this. I managed to have him kept in the Hospital a few days on an unrelated matter after I threatened the Hospital. They brought a psych doc in and he gave some bullshit diagnosis. After that I had him arrested and when he got home I then hit him with a mandatory psych evaluation that kept him off the street longer for another 72 hours. But, in the end, the victim went back to him.
The analogy: "they fell in a deep hole and you lowered a rope to help pull them out and they didn't grab the rope". I know this isn't providing much comfort in saying this but you need to never blame yourself. I blamed myself for years that there should have been something else I could do, but there was not.
Any man who would hit a woman (which my event was based upon as well) is pond scum and doesn't deserve any compassion. I don't know all the details but please be careful. Does this asshole husband of your friend own a gun? I hope not. I'm plucking things from both of your posts that have my red flags waving. Please be careful.
