Girl who was barred from her prom for wearing a suit gets invited to another prom

[Capt. Obvious]

A teenage girl from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, who was barred from entering her high school's prom because she was wearing a suit earlier in the month, was able to attend a different one nearby this weekend.

Aniya Wolf's mother bought her the new suit early in May, but said that a day-of email informed parents and students that dresses were required for girls attending the prom at her Catholic high school. So when Aniya showed up to the prom in her suit, she was kept from entering by police at Bishop McDevitt High School, where she is a junior.

This past Saturday, Wolf was invited to attend the prom at William Penn Senior High School, and she happily accepted.

"This is Aniya,” Carolyn Wolf told WHTM. "This is who Aniya has been since she’s very young. And she would not look right in a dress. She looks great in a suit.” Aniya, for her part, agrees. “I’ve just always been like this, ever since I was little,” Wolf said.

Besides the fact that it's mind-boggling that there would be a dress requirement for a prom in 2016, this story also shows how important it is for teenage girls to have supportive, awesome parents who accept them for who they are — and who buy them new suits for the prom, if that's what they want.

Source

[dumbcat]

1. Community standards

Besides the fact that it's mind-boggling that there would be a dress requirement for a prom in 2016, ...

Do we not support Community Standards? I thought we did. Isn't that Democracy?

[LeftyMom]

4. Not when they're used to oppress.

There are a lot of communities where attending prom with a date of the same gender or a different race violates community standards. Fuck bigoted standards and fuck bigots.

[dumbcat]

12. I understand

Only the standards that we agree with are "real" community standards. Those community standards we disagree with are oppression and bigotry. Fuck them. Got it.

[dbackjon]

29. So if inter-racial dating was against the community standard

You'd be ok with that?

[dumbcat]

49. No, I wouldn't be OK with that

being I have been in a inter-racial marriage for 42 years, I don't have anything against inter-racial dating.

Next?

[dbackjon]

57. So you are a hypocrit then

good to know

[Skittles]

59. wasn't that gonna pretty much be the expected outcome?

[dbackjon]

61. Yup

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. oppressing people is not democracy. nt

[dumbcat]

11. When a community votes

to criminalize and oppress pedophiles (a community standard), that is not democracy?

[davidn3600]

15. Im sorry but a girl wearing a suit is akin to pedophilia? Is that what you are saying?

Thank god it wasn't a boy wanting to wear a dress. You'd probably compare that to the holocaust.

[dumbcat]

16. No, that wasn't the point

When is the community standard that the people voted on legitimate? It seems some community standards, voted on by people in a community, or their elected representatives, are supported and some are not. I'm just asking for your criteria for acceptance of one democratically standard vs another. Just for discussion's sake.

[fizzgig]

40. where do you get the idea that the community voted on the dress code?

[Lizzie Poppet]

21. "Two wolves and a sheep vote on what's for dinner."

That, in a nutshell, is why certain "community standards" are unacceptable, even in a democracy.

[dumbcat]

22. So how does a community decide

which ones are "certain" (unacceptable) ones and which aren't? That's what I was trying to get to. If not by a democratic process (like, maybe, a vote?), then how?

[LeftishBrit]

30. If direct democracy and human rights come into conflict, should one reject human rights?

As I am from British culture, where proms don't play the central role that they seem to in American culture, I could have said 'oh well, it's just a party'; but it's symbolic of all sorts of other issues.

If the Supreme Court had just let the communities decide, probably some places in America would still be enforcing Jim Crow and segregated schools - would that be OK with you?

If it had been up to communities, rather than parliamentary votes, the UK would still have capital punishment (at least until very recently) and perhaps also flogging.

If votes for women were decided by direct democracy among male voters, goodness knows when female suffrage would have occurred. In the one country where it was tried - Switzerland- it occurred about 50 years later than in comparable countries.

Etc.

[dumbcat]

36. All excellent points. So who decides?

Who decides whether things are left to a vote, or that democracy is inappropriate for some aspects of Community? Here it is generally the Constitution and the courts (maybe even the Supreme Court), but some things the courts haven't gotten around to yet.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. A community also votes on Jim Crow laws.

I don't understand your point but I have a strong feeling today don't belong here

[dumbcat]

26. Yes they do

So, should communities not vote on their standards? How should they be derived? How does a community decide whether to have a dress code, or not, and what it should be?

I don't understand your point but I have a strong feeling today don't belong here

It's pretty clear you don't understand the point. I think some here do, but still refuse to address the question.

And you're right. I probably don't belong here. I came expecting some intelligent discussion, and all I get is deflection.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

27. You expect people to kowtow to your irrelevant points

And some of us don't kowtow to nonsense

[gwheezie]

35. Just a suggestion

If no one gets your point, maybe it's you. Because I don't get it either. What community are you talking about ? This girl hasn't worn a dress the entire time she's been in school so what community standard are you talking about?

[dumbcat]

42. Thank you for your response

This girl hasn't worn a dress the entire time she's been in school so what community standard are you talking about?

The dress code. As I pointed out in my original response in post #1. The OP seemed to find it mind boggling that a dress requirement would exist for a prom in 2016. A dress requirement is a community standard, is it not?

Everyone in this thread seems to think I don't approve of the girl wearing a suit. That's not true. I think she looks very sharp in the suit and I would be happy for her to wear it to a prom with whomever she wishes. I didn't even mind when one of my classmates tried to wear a burlap sack to our college graduation. But our communities had different standards. Who decides what standards a community gets to set? The answer so far seems to be whatever is acceptable on DU.

[TwilightZone]

37. "expecting some intelligent discussion"

Whenever you're ready to start, let us know.

[gollygee]

6. What?

Are you serious?

[dumbcat]

13. Do you have something to say?

Seriously?

[gollygee]

17. I'm surprised that, on a Democratic site, someone is saying

That's it OK to discriminate if that is the "community standard."

[dumbcat]

18. I didn't say that, did I?

You projected.

I asked if we support Community Standards, supposedly arrived at in a democratic process.

Do we never discriminate? Don't we discriminate against criminals?

[gollygee]

19. She isn't a criminal.

Not relevant.

[dumbcat]

20. Never mind

I can see that this discussion is above you.

For the record, I have nothing against the girl in the suit. I think see looks pretty sharp and can go to the prom with whomever she wants. I was just trying to generate a little discussion on what constitutes a democratically derived "community standard". It seems to depend on whether we like it or not.

I should have known better.

[gollygee]

25. Slavery was a democratically derived community standard

Our government has created protected classes, and gender and sexuality are included in those. You can't be discriminated against for them regardless of "community standards."

Though this is a religious school so it doesn't apply to them.

Still, the idea that people should be able to discriminate against people based on race, religion, sexuality, gender, etc., based on "community standards" does not belong at DU.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

28. This guy doesn't belong here.

I wouldn't bother arguing with his shit

[dumbcat]

47. I'm sorry

but I am fucking here. Been here on and off since 2004, as a matter of fact. And I am going to stay. I hope it pisses you off.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

55. It really doesn't. The world is full of people who think they

Are smarter than they are. It doesn't really affect my life

[dumbcat]

32. And so was the end of slavery

What you called "our government", that abolished slavery and created protected classes, was actually a manifestation of a new "community standard" voted upon by our elected representatives, was it not? Like, Democracy?

And thank you for being the first in this thread to actually address the issue I was trying to drag out of someone.

Still, the idea that people should be able to discriminate against people based on race, religion, sexuality, gender, etc., based on "community standards" does not belong at DU.

How about people advocating incentives and subsidies and special treatment for favorite causes and industries based on their "community standards? Are they OK on DU?

The question I am asking is, what criteria do you use to decide what issues are OK to be determined by democratically derived "community standards" and which are off limits to such a process?

I don't really expect a real answer, and I tire of this. Feel free to ignore.

[gollygee]

34. The government supplies a list already

They're called "protected classes." Perhaps you've heard of them. I would add sexual orientation and gender identity to states that don't currently recognize them as protected classes, and I would hope all DUers would agree.

[dumbcat]

44. Can I add some protected classes

to the list that some states don't currently recognize also?

[mrmpa]

31. I find it mind boggling also, however............

everyone is missing the one ingredient here......it's a private catholic school. I would hope that this would be a place where there would be less judgment, but that's not the case.

A private school has the right to do this unfortunately.

[gollygee]

38. I said that in post #25

The poster seems to be generally opposed to protecting people from discrimination due to "community standards."

Back to Jim Crow I guess.

[alphafemale]

39. In what community is a nice tuxedo not acceptable prom wear?

I'll wait.

[dumbcat]

45. In that one, it would appear.

I kinda like it. She looks sharp. Others disagreed.

[alphafemale]

48. No one can wear a tux to a prom?

That's stupid.

[dumbcat]

50. No, that didn't appear to be the problem

That would be unusual (stupid may be the right term). You might try to read the OP again.

[alphafemale]

51. I know what happened.

Thanks for trying though.

[dumbcat]

52. Then why did you ask that inane question?

[alphafemale]

53. Give up.

Your spurious arguments will get nowhere here.

Go sell your crap elsewhere.

[dumbcat]

54. Spurious arguments?

It's OK. When you don't have an answer ...........

[SwissTony]

60. What if one of the boys decided to attend wearing a kilt?

With a nice Prince Charlie jacket, of course.

[Brickbat]

3. It's not mind-boggling that a Catholic school would have a dress code for prom.

[yeoman6987]

9. True.

[LoverOfLiberty]

10. I would be a lot more concerned

If this were a public school.

[Humanist_Activist]

62. True, but it just shows how unethical Catholic teachings are, particularly on gender expression...

and sexuality.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

7. Now that's putting your police resources to good use....nt

[oldandhappy]

8. She is a pretty young woman.

I know she is probably getting a good academic education but barring her for wearing a suit is nuts and teaches all of us how restrictive this school really is. I say hear hear to William Penn Senior High School!!!!

[davidn3600]

14. Kept from entering by police??

Cops don't have anything better to do than enforce dress codes at school proms?

[jberryhill]

33. More likely for two other reasons

Some states require police for gatherings of a certain size.

More likely they are there to deal with gate crashers or others uninvited.

[fizzgig]

41. there were no cops at my prom

i'm curious who footed the bill for them to be there.

[jberryhill]

43. Private school, so likely the school

[Captain Stern]

23. Good for her.

Maybe she should have been attending this school all along, instead of a private one that has rules that she, or her parents, don't like.

Private schools aren't a democracy. Their school....their rules.

[Rex]

46. Ah private schools...barf.

[Mike Nelson]

56. Aniya...

...is a very handsome young woman - and dressed beautifully!

[Monk06]

58. She was barred for being gay and being proud of it Proper dress means suit or gown that's

it It should not matter who is wearing the suit or the gown