Bonnaroo Tanks: Jesus Wins

[Tsiyu]

Last edited Wed May 25, 2016, 05:59 PM - Edit history (1)

The Good Christians of Tennessee will be happy to know that rumors among vendors indicate the crowd at Bonnaroo this year will be about half of what it normally is. Normal numbers are 80,000 attendees, vs. around 40,000 to 46,000 this year.

Praise Jesus!!!!!!


Attendance is waaaay down, so that means fewer dirty hippies invading this most holy of Christian states, where everyone is merciful and kind and helps the poor. And where Christians never lie, cheat or steal, or get divorces or do anything bad ever, so they get to make all the rules for everyone else. LOL.

There is a great deal of speculation as to why the attendance numbers are so dismal that many TN businesses and festival vendors will not see their normal traffic or profits, and many in-festival vendors will take a loss.

Some blame it on new promoters LiveNation, and say it's the mediocre lineup, or the increase in ticket prices on top of a new "car parking fee" that adds about $100 to the already $300+ dollar ticket price. Festival organizers (LiveNation) polled people who never came back after attending once, and determined that a bunch of new permanent bathrooms might do the trick of luring attendees back once again. Not happening.

Other people are blaming the low numbers on competing regional festivals stealing the crowd.

As other national festivals like Coachella see record attendance numbers, I have my own speculation as to why Bonnaroo is not pulling the numbers this year.

First off, there's this guy:



This is the DA of Coffee County, TN, where Bonnaroo is held. If you go to his facebook page, you will see that he is a very "merciful man who does the Lord's will in everything" including ending a long-standing policy of letting Bonnaroo attendees pay misdemeanor drug penalties via mail.

The God-fearing Craig Northcutt is not going to forgive seventy times seven. Oh, nosiree! In TN, Christian DAs don't have to forgive you even once! They are Super Special Deluxe Christians, as Juanita Jean says, so they can make life as merciless and miserable as they want and Jesus just beams down from heaven on them! Here's an article about this most Special Super Deluxe Christian:


http://www.tennessean.com/story/entertainment/music/bonnaroo/2015/06/14/district-attorney-visits-bonnaroo-coffee-county/71200276/

Who wants to travel to TN and face the kind of economic hardship Northcutt has in mind for them?

(By the way, Brother Super Deluxe Christian Craig Northcutt: Jesus said no food or drink or substance could go into a man's body to make him unclean. So there's no moral basis for the War on Drugs, only a political and greed basis, and you and I both know that, so cut the Jesus crap when it comes to what people choose to put in their bodies.)

People come to TN to have a great time, spend money and add to our economy. Unfortunately, Coffee County and other law enforcement agencies in this state don't want TN businesses to get that money. They want ALL the Bonnaroo money for the injustice department here, and the Super Deluxe Christians of Tennessee support that. They don't want dirty hippie money here, thank you very much! Strip search those dirty music fans! Lock em up!

Law enforcement in TN basically see Bonnaroo as a chance to shoot fish in a barrel. Easy pickins' and fun times harassing, incarcerating and fining people who visit your state. Wooo-hooooo! The South will rise agin' praise the lard!!!!!

On top of that, you have national news stories showing how cops in TN can just take your money even if you have done no crime. And laws constantly being proposed by our TN legislature to discriminate against anyone and everyone who isn't a Super Deluxe Christian.

Tell me again why any sane person--who isn't a Super Special Deluxe Christian--would want to drive on Tennessee highways during Bonnaroo week or any week? People who enjoy a little weed with their festival can now go to a legal state and enjoy themselves without risking their life savings. People who don't want their money stolen by cops when they have done nothing wrong will find a way to drive around Tennessee.

The South is winning at becoming a theocracy, and I hope that makes all the Super Deluxe Christians happy. I'm sure the poverty, teeth falling out of your heads, ignorance, sick kids and early deaths will be worth it Jesus loves him some poor Southern states on welfare dontcha know.

I can't wait to move to a saner state, and away from the Super Deluxe Christians.

Bye Bonnaroo. You were an awesome event once. Tennessee does NOT deserve you.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

1. Children in positions of power, really annoying

[HuckleB]

3. +1

[Tsiyu]

12. Yes, you've described our TN prosecutors to a T

There is such a machine in the South to use the justice system to just grind people down. One of my sons does indigent defense in the South. I was congratulating him last night on a change they made to the way GA counties handle people's fines while on probation.

His words? "Mom, it doesn't matter. The counties in Georgia do the bare minimum to follow the law just to not get caught abusing or denying civil rights." I could hear the sorrow and frustration in his voice.

The plantation states are dying as they oppress the least of these, the minority, the "nonbeliever", and smart people need to get out while they can. More than any other states, in the next ten years you are going to see pure, abject poverty in the South as has never been seen before. Greed, pride and corruption are killing these states and their people seem helpless to do anything but vote in more corrupt, merciless assholes.

Mark my words. The South is DONE economically, except for a few tiny pockets. They've jailed and fined their populace and their communities into economic and spiritual squalor.

[Jackie Wilson Said]

16. And it gets worse by the day. How sad.

[ghostsinthemachine]

2. Sad, but not only due to religious whackjobs

Lineup sucks.

[HuckleB]

4. The headliners are bland, but they usually are everywhere, so...

Kamasi Washington is there, and there's plenty of other good acts on the undercard. I have to wonder if you might not be on to something.

[Sissyk]

5. I'm going out on a limb and say,

That it's mostly due to the fact that CMA Festival is at the exact same time. (used to be fan fair and the biggest draw inside Nashville.

I'm not attending either.

[Tsiyu]

7. It's always cconflicted, and there is also Riverbend in Chatt-town but

neither event has reduced numbers for Bonnaroo in the past. Even shit lineups pull a crowd.

Also, CMA attracts country fans, while the Roo is a huge eclectic mix of every sort of musical style. Loretta Lynn and Del McCoury have both played there, but they were joined by rock, rap, electronic, blues, hip hop bands blah blah blah.

(There's a joke going around that if Manchester TN were hosting a country music event, they'd have more arrests in the first twenty minutes than they've had in 15 years of Bonnaroo, which is why they probably will never do it.

Country fans are drunk and disorderly Super Deluxe Christians. The dirty hippies just want to chill and listen to music. But they are the true sinners. Gittin' drunk and fightin' to steel guitars is a sacrament in the South ; peacefully sharing a bowl of kind bud with your friends is a sin and a felony. Dontcha love those Super Deluxe Christians and their sin flowchart? "YOU'RE GOING TO HELL" is always the outcome, tho...unless you're them)

Bonnaroo is about all the interesting people from all over the world, seeing new bands you never heard of but now love, the connections you make and just the joy of being around so many cool people in such a dead-souled state. There is no joy allowed in TN, though, because Jesus wants you to sit in a pew all week and get screamed at by guys like Northcutt. They LOVE to judge judge judge judge, those Super Deluxe Christians!

Oh I will kiss the ground when I move to a state NOT in the South! It will be so glorious to be around people who value education, tolerance and human joy.

[Sissyk]

10. I attended the first straight 5 at

Bonaroo. Ive also attended several CMA Fest all the way back to when it was fan fair. Music fans are music fans. Hell, half the people I know have been to both.

Believe it or not, we even have good blues bars, hip hop, rock, reggae. Just about any thing you could possibly enjoy; country fan, hippy, or neither.

I don't know who has you unde their thumb to have such a joyless life, but you Definetly need to figure something out. We smoke plenty of recreational marijuana, drink like sailors, and cuss up a fucking storm. Nobodies making you walk to that church pew.

When you leaving? Soon sounds better than later for your health.

Super deluxe Christians? Yeah, they are here in droves. I don't let them ruin my joy!

[Tsiyu]

13. So you feel free breaking the law here?

I'm not putting myself at risk like that.

You're saying, "just break the law it's all cool."

Not if you've seen what I've seen done to good people in the courtrooms of this fucked up state, and, no, I don't live in Manchester.

I also play music, and I am well aware of the many outstanding venues in Nash Vegas. But CMA Fest has NEVER dropped attendance at Bonnaroo.

[Sissyk]

17. Yes, I do.

Everybody I know does, and have done so for ever. There is only 3 states I am aware of the legalized marijuana is LEGAL. The rest of the states smoke it, too.

Again, you can leave you know.

What have you see done to good people in this state?

[Sissyk]

11. Oh!

I'd say Manchester is one of the reddest towns in Tn. Sorry if that's where you live.

[Tsiyu]

8. lol

I've seen several incantations and members of teh Dedd at the Roo over the years ( been to eight or nine - lost count)

The musical memories I've shared there, seeing Robert Plant, McCartney, Springsteen, Tom Petty, Nine Inch Nails, the list goes on....but now I am hoping to meet up with friends in WA state who have started a business. So I can go to festies in a state where the law enforcement doesn't view me as prey because I am such a HORRIBLE sinner, I want to see a band and light up some plant material.

[Tsiyu]

14. Nope

But I did really enjoy Bob Weir and Ratdog at the Ryman many years ago.

And Trey A. has done some fine Roo jams over the years, too.

[Tsiyu]

18. Jesus loves Umphrey's McGee

Me, too.

This was one of my favorite sets in '08

I've so enjoyed Widespread Panic, My Morning Jacket, Radiohead too for epic jams.

BTW, Jesus was on his way to Bonnaroo this year, but he's gonna take his taco truck to Denver instead. He's afraid to drive in Tennessee with his cash (needs all the cash to make change for tacos) because of his dark skin and out-of-state plates.

Cherz...