Mom says her transgender first-grade daughter is making her way

[The Straight Story]

SPRINGFIELD, Ohio —
Katie Flesch hopes all transgender people — including her 7-year-old daughter, Elizabeth — will be accepted as a population and that all the issues roiling about gender identity won’t be a problem for her child in the future.

"As soon as Elizabeth was able to express herself, I knew there was something different about her," Flesch told WHIO on Wednesday night. "I wasn’t able to identify what it was … until, it’s been a little over a year now that she told us she was a girl."

Elizabeth, born Landon, has a twin, Logan. They were genetically born boys. Elizabeth transitioned at the start of the school year. Now, as their first-grade year is winding down, Flesch said she wants to be up front about Elizabeth to dispel misconceptions and misunderstandings about transgender people. But she’s still worries about bullying.

She lauds the principal and staff at Rolling Hills Elementary for helping her celebrate who Elizabeth is -- and who she isn’t.

http://www.kiro7.com/news/trending-now/mom-says-her-transgender-firstgrade-daughter-is-making-her-way/303407727

[TipTok]

1. Seven years old?

That's a tough sell.

[forjusticethunders]

5. Why is it a tough sell?

[Brickbat]

6. When did you know what gender you were?

[Chan790]

49. I was 14.

It was a little harder for me because I am genderfluid and non-binary...and I wasn't aware either of those things was a thing.

I just thought I was the only guy that felt like he wasn't a guy...or a girl (and sometimes one or the other or both, but usually neither)...and whose outward reflection of inner-gender would be something along the lines of "mascara and beard with skirt and combat boots."

[Brickbat]

55. I can't imagine having to navigate your experience without prior knowledge of any of it.

People like to make things harder for others out of pure meanness.

[Humanist_Activist]

8. Why, did you not know your gender identity at 7 years old?

Or did you not need to think about it because it matched your body's sex?

[LanternWaste]

11. I imagine it could be a tough sell if one projects their own confusion and ignorance about gender on

I imagine it could be a tough sell if one projects their own confusion and ignorance about gender onto others.

[clarice]

33. or vice-versa.nt

[MillennialDem]

20. I knew at 7

[MillennialDem]

24. Um why the fuck are you focusing on "the surgery"?

[MillennialDem]

27. I don't really have an opinion on children getting "the surgery" - I do think it is barbaric

to not allow them hormones / puberty blockers though.

EDIT: I guess surgery is probably ok at 16 or 18 maybe. It's not the major concern for most trans people though.

[Warpy]

32. Sexual reassignment surgery on children was done

when kids were born with malformed organs. The major problems with this were that the gender identity of the child wasn't taken into consideration and the surgery needed constant revision as the child grew. There are a lot of human beings out there with wrecked lives because this was done to them.

For these reasons, surgery is best postponed until full growth is achieved. That way, any revisions would tend to be very minor and by that time, a person's gender identity is most likely to be set.

I agree that hormonal support should be given to the trans kids nearing or within puberty. The last thing a girl needs is a beard. The last thing a boy needs is a rack.

[MillennialDem]

35. You're talking about surgery on intersex kids at the ages of 0-3. A little different here.

That said yes surgery is probably best postponed... I just don't have kids so I don't really focus too much on kids issues. I was forced into not being allowed cross sex hormones as a kid though. Only upside is it let me grow into an athletic amazon. But yeah I had to deal with removing a beard and dealing with other bullshit.

[Warpy]

37. Kids usually know these things for certain by the time they're close to puberty

Parents are often the problem, thinking Billy or Susie will outgrow it.

They don't. Pediatricians need to start addressing this a little more aggressively.

[MillennialDem]

39. I'm trans. Well aware of my mom denying it when I was younger.

[Chan790]

53. I do.

Most gender-minority individuals¹ do not have or even want sex-reassignment surgery.

When gender dysphoria presents this early, it's actually fairly common for gender identity to not match sexual orientation and for such individuals, the decision to sex-reassign is typically predicate on self-perception of sex-role and that of the sex-role of one's partners. (I'll explain this for you if I need to, but I'd rather not...it's extremely explicit and frank to an uncomfortable degree.)

1: Gender minorities are inclusive of not only transgender individuals, but also transsexual, genderqueer, genderfluid, agender, bigender, non-binary, and some atypical-cisgender (e.g. people who sometimes feel cisgender and sometimes feel agender or somewhere on the continuum between the two) individuals.

[LeftyMom]

42. The current consensus among doctors who do gender care

is that puberty blocking medications are the standard of care for trans youth.

[Humanist_Activist]

44. 16 to 18 is typical, until that time doctors will delay puberty once it starts until then...

then SRS surgery is considered as an option.

If you have any other question, I would recommend going here for answers:

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/4l4wcb/science_ama_series_im_dr_kate_greenberg_of_the/

[Warpy]

28. Kids as young as 3 or 4 are telling people their gender is different from their sex

Yes, kids are fantasists and they fantasize about being the other gender. However, this is persistent, something that starts when the kid can express him/herself and doesn't go away like fantasy does.

It's also nothing new. I knew a trans MtoF in 1966. I'd never have known except for a boozy confession. She was living as completely female and without medical help. I sincerely doubt she's the only one I'd ever met before gender dysphoria became well known and medical support available.

No, you don't have to understand it. I don't understand it. I just accept that it exists and that very young children are telling us when it does.

[HuckleB]

30. It's an easy way to know, actually.

[we can do it]

47. Not for me.

[moonbabygo]

2. sounds like the mother

could use some help

[Maedhros]

7. Why? [n/t]

[Humanist_Activist]

9. To repeat the previous poster, why? n/t

[LanternWaste]

10. What specifically leads you to that conclusion?

What specifically leads you to that conclusion?

[moonbabygo]

12. Her child is 7

that should be all I need to say.

[LanternWaste]

13. You didn't identify with your gender at age seven?

You didn't identify with your gender at age seven? (else you should say more)

[moonbabygo]

16. I had all brothers

which could have played a role or not. I was very much a tom boy, wanted to be a boy. Hated anything feminine. that as 50 years ago. I grew into a woman and I have enjoyed being a woman. I think 7 is too young, now if I stayed that way into teenage years then I think my mother would have supported my choice

[Humanist_Activist]

18. Tomboys aren't transgender. n/t

[moonbabygo]

19. I know and as you grow you choose

all I'm saying is let her age a wee bit

[Humanist_Activist]

22. Its not a choice, again you illustrate your ignorance. N/t

[pnwmom]

46. Getting surgery or taking hormones is a choice, and I think that's what was meant. n/t

[MillennialDem]

25. How is that relevant? The changes are (partially) reversible, but if she doesn't change they are

also only partially reversible (if you get my meaning... I'm saying it's easier to turn a boy into a girl or a girl into a boy than it is to change a man into a woman or a woman into a man).

That and with children they usually don't do surgeries anyway. Often they don't even do hormones, they just do puberty blockers.

[Humanist_Activist]

14. All that illustrates is that you seem, at best, uninformed about transgender issues. n/t

[moonbabygo]

17. some post are just not worth my time nt

[Ms. Toad]

21. I suspect you do not know any transgender children.

I know transgender children who clearly stated, as young as age 3, that they were a gender that did not match their biological sex. These are not children saying, "I wish I was" based on perceptions that life would be better as a boy/girl, or desire to be the same as older siblings. These are children saying, "I am a boy," and (as they age) expressing distress at the prospect of of growing breasts or of not growing a penis.

There is a significant difference between being gender non-conforming and being transgender.

[cali]

51. Your ignorance is showing

[HuckleB]

31. Nope.

You might need some education, however.

[we can do it]

48. Why????

[uppityperson]

57. Thank you, EarG!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=profile&uid=332305&sub=trans

[HuckleB]

3. One of my son's 4th grade classmates made the transition this year.

The school has been supportive, as have the kids. Of course, this is in Portland, where most kids have peers with two moms, two dads, two dads and one mom, etc... From the word go. Now, getting them to understand the obstacles faced by others elsewhere is rather difficult.

[masmdu]

4. Sister's 5th grade student here in NC also made the transition...

The school has been supportive, as have the kids despite this being NC.

[HuckleB]

29. Awesome. So good to know!

[firebrand80]

15. I'm not going to pretend I fully understand this

what I do know is that:

1. I'm not going to pass judgment on a child or his or her family about something I don't understand
2. The suicide rates for children that struggle with these issues is off the charts. Why can't some people, even if they disagree with something, have a just little damn compassion for others?
3. Ultimately this doesn't affect me, and is really none of my business.

[clarice]

34. Is it possible...just possible...that a young child can be....

influenced by the never ending media coverage of this issue?

Please think before responding....I'm asking if it's possible.

[Brickbat]

40. Only for the better.

As in, only to shed light on the conflicting and difficult feelings they've been having. Kids don't get "confused" about their gender. Kids who question their assigned gender are more likely to be confused about the way people treat them for being themselves.

When you first learned that some people don't feel like they were assigned the correct gender, you probably said something along the lines of, "Hm, that's interesting and I don't quite understand all of it, but the world is a big place and there's a lot that can happen." But there are some people, when hearing about the concept of transgenderism, who say, "OH MY GOD finally I have a name for what I've been feeling all my life. I see now that I'm not broken. I'm normal for who I am and now I can decide what to do with it."

[LeftyMom]

45. In that she has language to express how she's feeling? Probably.

I care for a senior who is trans. She just started getting transition related care a few years ago.

For most of her life she really didn't have language to explain who she was, so she felt depressed and isolated even in cities with big gay communities where she chose to live in the hope of fitting in. Since she's made a social transition (over a decade now) and a medical one (two years or so?) she's happier than she's ever been, and I've noticed that she's handling other stresses in her life so much better than she could before. But she has a lot of emotional issues (she's very nervous and needs a lot of handholding to deal with even routine stressful situations like a cable appointment or taking her cat to the vet) that I wonder if she wouldn't face if she hadn't spent fifty years hiding herself and feeling shamed.

She's still delighted every time she sees a trans person in the media (as something other than a sex worker/dead body on some Law and Order spin-off) because she spent so much time thinking she was alone and broken.

There's a story Nichelle Nichols tells about how she was planning on quitting Star Trek and Dr. King told her not to because black children needed to have a vision of the future where black women were equals in positions of power and authority. He told her it was the only show on TV he let his kids stay up to watch, because it was important for them to see a black woman who wasn't a maid.

Media visibility matters.

[gollygee]

36. So much ignorance in this thread

Yes, young kids can know.

[clarice]

38. Not arguing.... I would just like to see scientific analysis on this question.nt

[Brickbat]

41. On what question?

[Humanist_Activist]

43. Not sure if you are interested in learning about this, but there's an AMA on Reddit...

its actually occuring right now, with a doctor who specializes in transgender children.

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/4l4wcb/science_ama_series_im_dr_kate_greenberg_of_the/

[frankieallen]

50. She should be supported in her feelings, but too young to take hormone blockers.

[Humanist_Activist]

56. Well yes, she's prepubescent, hormone blockers wouldn't do anything right now, unless...

she ends up having early onset puberty, its a few years or more yet before hormone blockers are used to delay puberty.

[Rex]

52. .

"It’s not about genitalia," she said, "it’s about your brain. Just like I was born with a girl brain, Elizabeth was born with a girl brain. She just happened to get the wrong body."

Flesch said she done much research and has found that the issue is chromosomal.

"It’s an issue about heart. Everybody needs to look deeper into their own heart. It’s about fear."

[womanofthehills]

54. Good novel on this topic - "Middlesex" by Jeffery Eugenides

"I was born twice: first, as a baby girl, on a remarkably smogless Detroit day of January 1960; and then again, as a teenage boy, in an emergency room near Petoskey, Michigan, in August of l974. . . My birth certificate lists my name as Calliope Helen Stephanides. My most recent driver's license...records my first name simply as Cal."