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New Eco-Friendly Cigarettes
New Eco-Friendly Cigarettes Kill Destructive Human Beings Over Time
2010
RICHMOND, VA—Executives at Philip Morris USA this week unveiled Marlboro Earth, a new eco-friendly cigarette that gradually eliminates the causes of global warming and environmental destruction at their source.
"By killing off the No. 1 threat to the environment, new Marlboro Earths will have a long-term effect on the overall health of our planet," Philip Morris spokesperson Janet Weiss said. "If everyone in America does their part and joins our new green-smoking movement, then together we can eradicate man's destructive practices once and for all."
SNIP
In initial product trials, the eco-cigarettes have proven popular among smokers.
"I leave work three to five times a day to stand outside and help the environment," said longtime smoker Sam Davies, an office worker in Raleigh, NC. "And the best thing about them is they make saving the planet incredibly addictive. After only a few hours, I get the uncontrollable urge to go out and help the environment some more."
http://www.theonion.com/article/new-eco-friendly-cigarettes-kill-destructive-human-17529
