Having been in a similar situation with my brother, that dad is tone-deaf and making the situation worse.
I speak from experience when I say that there are ways of requesting leniency in sentencing that do not minimize the severity of his actions, do not deny that they were violenct, and are respectful to the victims.
His son chose to drink, as did my brother on March 29, 1980. My brother died after spending 36 years of his life in prison, a little over two weeks ago. Although all of us who loved him (and the closest family members of his victims) agree that his entire life should not be judged on the basis of the worst night of all of our lives, none of us would argue that his actions were not violent, or that binge drinking and promiscuity were the issue - rather than choices he made.
It is not the life we would have chosen for him, or that he would have chosen for himself had he been in his right mind that night. But ultimately, it was his choice to drink and use peyote - and he is responsible for whatever he did under their influence. That is the message he immediately internalized, even though he has no memory of that night - and that is the consistent message he heard from everyone who loved him. In large part because he (and we) never denied his responsibility for his actions, he quickly turned to making his life as good as it could be, given that it is not the life he planned. While in prison, my brother became a leader within the Native American community, a talented artist, a respected elder within jail, and a calming influence on young hot-heads. Long before he died, he had achieved the respect of inmates and prison administration alike.
The father here is not only hurting the victim by his insensitive remarks, he is actively encouraging his son to shift responsibility to things beyond his control (a culture of binge drinking and promiscuity). That will hinder his son from doing the kind of self-reflection he needs to do in order use this night to accept responsibility for the consequences of his choices and to make the best of a life that has been forever altered by his choices that night.
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