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Sun Jun 12, 2016, 09:17 AM

The Script

A day after Christina Grimmie was murdered, at least 20 people were killed during yet another gun rampage. If youíre now planning to spend the next couple of weeks in bed with your head under a pillow, I donít blame you. Hereís what youíll miss.

1. Speculation about the shooter and his motives.
1a. If the shooter was or could have conceivably been Muslim (i.e. not white), start the terrorism narrative.
1b. If the shooter was white, start the mental illness narrative.
2. Since the shooting took place in a gay nightclub, Broadcast News Funnel will ask various Christianists to stop molesting tomato bushes and come deafen the sound tech with their patented Godís wrath shriek.
2a. People who are actually concerned about anti-GLBTQ violence in the U.S. will be invited to try and outshout Christianist scum beings so both sides of the mass murder conundrum can be represented.
3. Gundamentalists will solemnly declare that if only more people in a crowded nightclub had been packing heat gibber flibber glorp.
3a. It still wonít be legal to lock the Gundamentalists and the Christianists in a room and toss a hornetsí nest through the transom.
4. President Obama will give a speech.
4a. I imagine Clinton will say something as well.
4b. Holy fuck, Trump is going to weigh in too, isnít he?

Maybe make it three weeks.


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