(Duffleblog; satire) SemperFuxit: Marine Corps votes to exit Dept. of the Navy

[Recursion]

(Duffleblog is kind of the military version of the Onion.)

http://www.duffelblog.com/2016/06/semperfuxit/

In a move military analysts call “simply stunning,” the Marine Corps voted in a referendum Friday to leave the Department of the Navy, forming a separate branch tentatively named Men’s Department of the Navy. Defense contractor stocks closed sharply down in the wake of the historic vote.

The results were close, with 51.9 percent voting to leave and 48.1 percent voting to remain. Exit polling data showed the vote split along demographic lines with a slight majority of officers and all Marines from Texas voting to leave. More enlisted favored remaining, especially those with four or more dependents.

The hotly contested vote over what became known as “SemperFuxit” followed months of debate and campaigning from both sides. Though the issue has been debated at Naval Institute Symposia for several years, Marine Corps Commandant Gen. Robert Neller only agreed to hold a Facebook poll on the question after being “no ballsed” in a disagreement with Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus. According to sources, the disagreement regarded funding the new Amphibious Assault Vehicle.

The “Remain” camp fought for the Corps to stay with the Navy, citing the service’s amphibious traditions and the “need for a service to call worthless” while transporting them to battle, sources in Neller’s office say.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

1. Secretary of the Navy bemoans this loss.

Whining, "NOW who will we get to scrape our paint and rust? SAILORS?!!. No, we'll have to hire high-paid contractors, probably retired Marines, to do the work that no respectable Navy serviceman would touch!"

[UTUSN]

2. They wish. But they love our Corpsmen.

Since Marines are by definition the armed guards for ships, are they going to be duplicate land forces with the Army?!1 Are they going to take our Navy Corpsmen with them?!1 Are we USN going to create another force for ships?!1 The ramifications would be just as complicated as Brexit!1

[Wounded Bear]

3. Semper Fi, do or die...

Eat the apple and fuck the Corps.



Cute article.