Is it now socially acceptable for white people to say the n word?

[IVoteDFL]

I started a new job recently that tends to employ mostly college students and other very young people. I'm in my late twenties and am one of the oldest people there. I notice a lot of differences between their generation and mine, but one of the most jarring examples is how freely they use the n word, even in front of black people or directly to them. Even the AA managers seem to have no problem with this.

Now I admit they aren't using it in a malicious way, often it's done singing rap songs (we arent allowed electronics so it's pretty common to get a large group singing to pass the time) or its in a greeting "what up ----" but it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. I'm sure white people who listen to rap music and sing along have been doing this for years, but I remember a time when you at least had the decency to do it in privacy, not at work where about half of our workforce are minorities.

Am I being overly sensitive about this? As a white person is it even my place to say anything about it? I would feel sort of stupid going to my black manager to complain about this. I'm also one of only a handful of women at this company and I rarely feel comfortable complaining about anything since I feel like I have more to prove.

[VMA131Marine]

1. Definitely not acceptable where I work

Under any circumstances

[Rex]

2. No. By no means.

It has never been acceptable and it never will be, I don't care what younger generation tries to appropriate that word.

[Orrex]

3. Only when they're wearing their white hoods and robes.

I would be grossly uncomfortable if that went on in my office, and that's coming from a boring white dude.

In that environment, I would bring the issue to the attention of management. Although I'm not personally harmed by that racial slur, it taints the workplace setting, and an air of permissiveness helps foster a hostile environment that can cause harm to others.

You will be improving the work environment even while others might not feel comfortable voicing concerns about it.

Also, there's a purely selfish reason that's worth considering: my job is phone-based customer service, and a fair number of our customers are Indian or Pakistani. A former coworker would, without fail, launch into a mocking impression of the customer's accent after each call. When I complained to management, I pointed out that his bullshit reflected badly on my department, and I didn't want to be seen as enabling (or participating in) that kind of racism.

The matter was addressed promptly, and that was the end of his impressions. Also, he's no longer with the company.


In short, if you're expressing your concerns in good faith, then I'd say that it's worth approaching management about them.

[IVoteDFL]

11. The problem is lower management is already aware

My manager will participate, though as an AA that is his right. I truly feel uncomfortable bringing this up to him. I never speak to the higher-ups, I rarely even see them. I'm also concerned that he would get in trouble if I brought this to his boss. He is a great guy to work for otherwise.

It's not an office job either. We work in a warehouse that is extremely hot in the summer and we are pushed to work incredibly hard. Things like this are tolerated because they feel the need to let us have "fun" or people quit in droves and we end up understaffed and working 50-60 hour weeks.

It's a very weird situation to be in. I can't quit because I'm financially crippled by my roommate quitting her job but it gets quite uncomfortable. Sexism is a huge problem there too, but I at least feel equipped to deal with that as a woman.

[Orrex]

18. Do you have an HR department?

I suspect that you are, in part, concerned about being labelled "that person" who complained about the environment (correct me if I'm wrong), and I can understand that anxiety. Years back I worked the overnight shift with a Christian who endlessly proselytized to me during our three shared shifts each week. I mentioned it in passing to the general manager who basically laughed and said "that's Rich."

That experience certainly doesn't rise to the level of harassment that women or minorities endure, but it made me uncomfortable for 3/5 of my working week, and the atmosphere was decidedly different for me after I voiced my concern.


Regardless, your concern is sensible and justified. If you don't feel comfortable approaching your direct manager about it, then it's your right to go above him, whether to HR (or the equivalent) or higher management. It's unfortunate that this may cause problems for him, but if he's helping to foster a hostile work environment, then it's not your job to accommodate him.

[IVoteDFL]

24. You are right

I'm very selfishly concerned about being labeled as that person. I already have a hard time fitting in, and I'm too scared and sensitive to confront anyone directly about it. HR would be an option that I hadn't considered. We don't have anyone on-site but I believe there is a number to call. It's a huge company with many facilities in every state though, it might take a long time for them to address my concerns.

Mostly I don't believe anyone intends for it to be hostile, as far as I can tell I'm the only person bothered by it. The problem is that with such a high turnover rate we always are seeing new people and some of them might get offended.

[Orrex]

28. Good luck.

You're in a tough spot, but you're doing the right thing in pursuing it.


Let us know how it goes.

[fizzgig]

4. that's a firing where i work

wholly unacceptable. it's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[IVoteDFL]

13. Nobody gets fired from where I work

We have a hard enough time keeping people there due to the nature of the work

[fizzgig]

15. no excuse

i work in a high-turnover industry and it's hard to get fired, but there are still things that are unacceptable.

[IVoteDFL]

19. If it were up to me I wouldn't tolerate it

I need the overtime anyway, but most people aren't willing to work that much. Especially since most of them are still in school. It's kind of a lose-lose for many of my co-workers including the minorities.

[etherealtruth]

5. You would be immediately discharged where I work

i dont think I have ever worked anywhere that this would be acceptable .... from anyone's mouth

[IVoteDFL]

14. We don't fire anyone

Nobody wants to work there to begin with because it is hard work. You can literally no call no show three times in a month before you even get talked to about it.

[etherealtruth]

17. i'm sorry :-(

Hoping you find a better working environment

[JI7]

22. maybe the work environment contributes to people not staying around longer

[cagefreesoylentgreen]

6. It seems to happen online a lot

At least in online gaming communities where I hang out , where the n-word is both used as a casual greeting and a pejorative. And that these communities are also filled with very young people like your coworkers probably isn't coincidence.

That said, they need some learning experience. Report them.

[IVoteDFL]

26. I used to frequent a lot of online gaming communities as well

I often felt like those were such hostile environments in general that I just avoided them in favor of games with separate chat or games with only pre selected greetings.

I guess in a lot of ways I just don't like confrontation and I will try to avoid things that bother me even if I want to do the right thing

[Lurker Deluxe]

38. Without a doubt

I have been playing online games since they have been around and use voice coms (teamspeak/ventrillo) in almost all of them.

Raiding in WOW, you are on voice coms or you get the boot, and the successful guilds raiding guilds will not tolerate this kind of language. Then again, they will not tolerate cross talk or any foolishness .. they take their gaming seriously. However, jumping into a PVP group and being invited to a public coms you will hear this kind of language constantly.

Eve Online, which is mostly EU people the n word is part of the normal vocab and if you say anything it will bring on ridicule from the "locals". I have left alliances over this issue ... and war deced them, well ... 'cause I can.

Older games like Ultima/Everquest have an older player base and that kind of language is not tolerated, in either of those games the n word is a TOS and you will get an account suspension for it.

Has a lot to do with the player base, but the newer stuff is crap anyways. Get in some newer games and they have guilds with names as blatant as KKK Inc. or n killers unlimited. It is bad.

A german teamspeak can be so anti-semite sometimes it is hard to listen to, and just stay as far away from the chinese groups as you can as they actually make money playing and will attempt to hack you more than speak to you.

The online gaming word has been deteriorating for years, but back in the day it was expensive so it kept the rif raf out.

[HereSince1628]

7. A generational thing? Love that perspective... I'm into my 7th decade; with no n-words

in any of the songs I sing. Our favorite greeting is 'don't bother getting up'.

[onecaliberal]

8. No, never, absolutely not.

[UTUSN]

9. That's what the code words "(DRUMPF) freed us from political correctness" means

[pwb]

10. No

If I hear it said I frown and avoid the person that said it.

[Person 2713]

12. I liked the tv show Blackish episode that dealt with that . They take on a lot of great subjects

Last edited Sun Jul 31, 2016, 05:09 PM - Edit history (1)

This is the popular song they used to build the story around .
Is it songs like this ?

WARNING EXPLICIT LYRICS

Check out the Blackish episode I have no idea what number it is but it was last season .

[CBGLuthier]

59. First episode of the season. They came out of the gate with a bang and never looked back,

Very good season. I don't watch a lot of sitcoms but I would love to see one better written and performed.

[Person 2713]

63. OH we watch as a family , it just keeps getting better yes very well written AND performed

[forgotmylogin]

78. I'm guilty of singing along with the backup vocals of CeeLo's "F*** You"

(AKA "Forget You&quot because they're so much fun and it's one of my guilty pleasure happy songs, but that whole song is loaded with adult language and I'd never sing the explicit version out loud in a workplace or anywhere in public. (It has a "gold digger" rhyme and I usually just drop out that word.)

I'd never use the word in my own personal speech, workplace or not.

[mythology]

88. That "song" is just horrid

I'd ask how somebody so utterly talentless could get to be so popular, but look at Trump.

[JI7]

16. not really acceptable but personal relationships matter also

Just because they might say it with a friend doesn't mean it would be ok to use it with just anyone.

I personally think they should not use it even if a friend might be ok with it.

The young black kids who use it with each other probably don't do it with older people around.

[IVoteDFL]

30. I haven't considered personal relationships

The people who stick it out there are close and I'm still newish to the team.

[uponit7771]

72. +1,"...hey might say it with a friend doesn't mean it would be ok to use it with just anyone.."

I don't see what's complicated to some people about this, have a relationship call each other what ever you want

[Lil Missy]

20. NO! it is never acceptable. nt

[TeddyR]

21. In a work environment it isn't acceptable

For anyone of any race.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

23. Not acceptable among the people I associate with

[Rustyeye77]

25. Yes.

Age has a lot to do with it.

[athena]

27. It's probably best to talk to your manager.

Is it possible that it bothers her too, but because she's black, she doesn't want to make a point of objecting to it? Perhaps if she realized that it bothers white people, too, she would feel more justified in saying something?

I don't know. I'm just imagining being a woman in a male-dominated company, and having all the male employees make sexist jokes. I might want to avoid making a scene, drawing attention to the fact that I'm female, and appearing hypersensitive. If, however, a male subordinate came to me and said this kind of talk was bothering him, I might feel more justified in stepping in, saying that other people in the group are complaining about their behavior, and putting a stop to it. (It would be pretty important, though, that the male subordinate didn't give me the impression that he was trying to suck up to me or to manipulate me into doing something that might hurt me.)

Personally, unless you really trust your HR department, I wouldn't go to them. I'm not convinced that they're always on the side of the people they claim to represent.

I'd love to get the view of a Black person on whether this makes sense, or whether I'm totally off the mark here.

[IVoteDFL]

32. I don't even know the HR dept

And I do trust my manager. He is very nice and like I said a great guy to work for. I will take this into consideration before I call. I probably will just bring it up to him casually maybe? Not necessarily in a complaining form

[underpants]

29. I stopped saying it when I was in the Army

Yes I've said it. That was not uncommon for people growing up when I did and being immature as I was. I just realized how stupid it was so I stopped.

[Paladin]

31. Nope. (nt)

[Doodley]

33. No, but many Trump supporters a pleased it's now okay to be a racist. No need for PC.

[Iggo]

34. Oh good gawd.

[Act_of_Reparation]

35. "I notice a lot of differences between their generation and mine"

Last edited Mon Aug 1, 2016, 09:00 AM - Edit history (1)

I stopped reading right about there. Millennials catch enough shit from the boomers already. They don't need your absurd anecdotal generalizations.

Incidentally, if you are in your late twenties, you are are the same goddamned generation as the college students and young people you're complaining about.

[oberliner]

36. What kind of job?

And what part of the country?

[romanic]

37. I don't even like it when other black folks say it to each other.

And yes I'm in my late twenties too.

[treestar]

39. there was a football or basketball player or something

who was black, got mad at a white guy and called that white guy the N word. Among the young there is some different thing going on there.

[Brickbat]

40. Yes, many younger people will use the term freely with close friends, no matter their color.

If you are close enough to your black co-workers to ask, you could check in with them and see how they feel about it. They may feel that the personal relationships they have make it OK. They might not and feel like they can't speak up about it. Whatever you do, don't start using it in an effort to fit in. If someone uses it to refer to you, you could let them know you'd prefer they didn't.

[steve2470]

42. my son claimed this with me, and I was aghast

I think in my son's case, he was trolling me, but I have no clue about other very young people.

[Brickbat]

43. I've seen it and heard it myself. Among the vastly white population where I live, it's a term of

endearment among kids as young as 11 or 12. Without understanding -- or even having seen -- the ugly history of the term, and having grown up being told that we're all equal so the use can't possibly be racist, they figure it's a hipper, cooler term for "bro," "man" or "brother."

[steve2470]

45. yea

I told my son very forcefully to never use it, and especially not with anyone AA. He actually listens to me usually, so I think he won't ever use the N-word again.

[Brickbat]

47. Good luck!

[m-lekktor]

49. yep young white kids will call each other "my n---a". nt

[PoutrageFatigue]

41. Nope.Not ever.

.

[AngryAmish]

44. At work no, in a bar amongst friends it seems to be on in my bar circle.

But I hang out in dumps.

[renie408]

46. My son informs me that we can say 'niggah', not 'nigger'....

But only in certain instances and not when there is a chance that a black person has to put up with our shit even if they don't like it.

He says your BOSS shouldn't say it because black people might not feel like they can object.

[Amaril]

48. As others have said, report it to "someone"

Upper management, HR, someone. It is not ok, and I can absolutely guarantee that you aren't the only one who is uncomfortable or afraid to speak up.

Years ago I worked for a company that was 80 - 90% male (a military supply subcontractor), and there were no women in supervisory / managerial roles.

I was getting coffee one day and one of the managers rolled up behind me in his chair and ran his hand up the back of my leg (from ankle to upper thigh). I slammed the pot down, told him he was not allowed to touch me and went straight to my manager & told him what happened..............primarily to cover my own ass, because if he had dared to touch me again, I would have likely punched him dead in the face.

Within an hour, other women started going to management telling their stories of this man touching them (a couple had even had their breasts grabbed / fondled) or rubbing himself against them as he walked by. They had all been afraid to speak up -- because of the male dominated environment -- but because someone "broke the ice" they all started to come forward.

Be the one who breaks the ice.

[Bradical79]

50. In general, no

Especially at work. In some social circles it seems to be accepted, has a lot to do with your peers. It's a lot different depending on where you grow up and who you hang out with. I moved to the subburbs in 6th grade and went to schools that were 80%-90% white. If I'd stayed and hung out mostly with black kids who listened to music that used that word, and it was a common part of their vocabulary, I might talk like that too if my education and parenting didn't put a stop to it at some point.

[rjsquirrel]

51. Only if they are Miss Teen USA

[BigDemVoter]

52. OMG.

you are NOT being overly sensitive about this. I would be mortified to even hear the word, much less from another caucasian.

On another note, there was a woman in my last job (caucasian I might add) who was almost fired for using the "n" word. I was shocked they didn't fire her and thought they should have. Unbelievable.

[davidn3600]

53. A lot of youth seem to use it frequently among each other, and especially online

And yeah a lot of it is because it's in the music. It's in the movies. That's how they are learning it.

Sure some of it may be from racist parents/grandparents. But it's mostly because that word is used very often today in pop culture.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

54. If they are in their early twenties

(or even late teens) and you are in your late twenties then you all are in the same generation and that is Millennials. It probably is a just a thing with this one group of people (low class, young males) and not a generational thing.

What kind of work environment is it? Seems unprofessional to me and it would be very bad if you had clients or customers that overheard that kind of language. You should say something if it is really bothering you. That is not appropriate work place language.

[baldguy]

55. No. And certainly not at work.

Not to mention the fact that when a European American uses it, that word carries entirely different connotations & meanings. All of them bad.

[clarice]

56. No..that term is racially charged no matter WHO says it. nt

[former9thward]

57. No offense but you are showing your age.

That door opened years ago and now can't be closed.

[independentpiney]

70. +1

[Skittles]

58. not sure which is more disturbing

that you have to ask this question, or that in your late 20's you think people 10 years younger than you are another generation

[SheriffBob]

60. I just watched, "Straight out of compton"

They used the word hundreds of times.

[MurrayDelph]

61. If it's said between two black men

there may be extenuating circumstances.

If it is said by a white man, the only acceptable times are:

1) You are an actor in the movie "Blazing Saddles," reciting the line written for you by Richard Pryor,
2) You are in the library or bookstore, requesting the autobiography of Dick Gregory, or
3) You are attempting suicide by mob.

[doc03]

62. My generation and older (I am 68 ) use it daily in eastern Ohio and WV area. Something I

notice is many people of certain European ansestry that were called derogatory names a while back themselves are the worst.

[psychmommy]

64. He'll no.

[steve2470]

65. Huge difference between "nigga" and the full N-word

"My nigga" or perhaps "niggah" appears to be very popular among younger people and some PoC. My answer above was predicated on the full N-word. I think you have to be clear about which word you're referring to, because the full N-word is still toxic to most everyone over 35, I'm guessing ?

My $0.02.

[GulfCoast66]

86. They will stop using either

When and if they use it at a proper place of employment and are fired immediately. If one of my employees used any variant of the word they would be cleaning out their desk.

[steve2470]

87. good policy! nt

[Coolest Ranger]

66. I think our youth

notice it when they say it. They notice how uncomfortable I look but they don't say anything. I had a casual conversation with it the other day with some family members. I let them know that I have had white people call me that like its nothing.

At a job I had back in the early 2000, I had a hateful customer call me up and curse me out because he did not want a black rep to help him. He called me the n word. He abused me for ten minuets. I had to deal with it because I was the night rep. I told the supervisor at our network operations center. He not only suspended the guys account but he CC the area manager who called me the next night and apologized to me.

The only thing that hurt worse about that situation was when my superiors would not back me on that. They wanted the guys money and in so many words they said fuck my feelings. I ultimately left that company. Couldn't take how they valued white people over me

[MrScorpio]

67. No, it's not

End of story.

[greatauntoftriplets]

68. No.

[aikoaiko]

69. Rachel Jeantel laid it all out for us via her interview on Piers Morgan

[uponit7771]

73. +1

[kiva]

71. This is why 'reclaiming' words doesn't work.

I'm over 60 and every version of the word - with an 'r' or an 'h', don't care who you are - disgusts me. It should have died decades ago.

[geek tragedy]

74. no, but some uses are far worse than others.

not excusing the use when it's appropriation, but that can be attributed to stupidity instead of malice

[Tommy_Carcetti]

75. No.

Next question.

[still_one]

76. It isn't acceptable for anyone socially or otherwise

[Loki Liesmith]

77. I don't let anyone say it, whatever their color

around me.

[jdwhite0726]

79. The N Word

I don't care where you work or what type of personal interaction you have with your black coworkers. Never say the N-word. As a white guy living in Orlando, just say NO to the N-word period. It's not worth the grief or the possibility of getting killed. Chill and keep it yourself. That Word evokes hatred and signifies you have no respect for blacks.

[fleabiscuit]

81. Oh really?

You mean that one word might provoke uncontrolled anger that evokes instant hate and murderous uncontrolled behavior?

[mdbl]

85. You mean in the way it was used in a lynching?

You missed the point. Why use a word that offends an entire group of people? it's like the stupid confederate flag argument. As far as being acceptable for a black person to use it, that is their perogative, however, many black people I know find that highly offensive also.

[fleabiscuit]

89. Ya, it is highly insulting. You also missed my point, but I wasn't clear.

What I want to know is why the thought that uttering that word inappropriately is going to suddenly rise to placing your life at risk. By whom? That seems like a potential dog whistle to me, and also potentially racist. Clarification would be nice.

[mdbl]

91. I am not trying to be insulting,,

but if you had any hint of the history of the word and how it has been used, you would understand why it isn't a good idea to perpetuate the term.

[fleabiscuit]

92. You're not getting it. nvm

[TransitJohn]

80. At a certain size, any company's HR department will cut that out real quick

Hostile work environments tend to pay out lots of money.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

82. Is it now socially acceptable for people of any race to say the n word?

Sadly, I guess it is.

But, once I hear someone say it, I stop listening to him. or her.

[forjusticethunders]

84. I would not advise any white person to say it, certainly not on the job.

HOWEVER, to me the power is not the word, it is the context that gives the word its hateful power. I grew up hearing it, and i've tossed it around a few times. In some scenarios a white person COULD get a "n**** pass* depending on the situation, but that has to be handled with extreme care because there are black people especially black men who WILL get physically violent over a white person using that word unless his black friends vouch for him.

[wildeyed]

90. No.

The answer is always no.

My kids complain about the same thing. My kids know the historical context of the word and how it was used by white supremacists. They are smart enough to understand that in the mouth of a black person, the word might feel empowering, but in the mouth of a white person who is not being intentionally hateful, it just sounds ignorant. That may be why the black managers put up with it. Because you can't fix stupid? Who knows....

I watched an HBO series called Treme about New Orleans after the hurricane. There is a white character who loves black music and culture, lives in a black neighborhood, and has many close black friends. He is drunk off his ass in a bar with a couple of black friends, recounting something another black friend said that included the n-word. Another black man he does know overhears and calls him out. He tries to justify and says it again, and gets punched in the face. His friends just roll their eyes. Because no matter how much you love black culture, you are still white and saying that word is not ok. Some might put up with it, but at some point, you will probably get punched in the face.