How many of us DU'ers belong to a gold star family.....

[mrmpa]

Not just directly i.e. parent, but a sibling, cousin, aunt or uncle. What hole has this left in the family?

Me: Lost a great uncle in WWII, he landed on D-Day and was dead within 90 days. I have a neighbor who knew this uncle and he has stories about him. My mom remembers him and she has stories too. Like how he would come up to her home (he was her dad's younger brother) on Saturdays, a few other brothers would come up (there were 8 of them) drink beer, play the piano and sing. He was single, shy, tall over 6' and seemed to be a simple man.

Lost 2 great uncles in WWI, brothers of the above uncle. They died during mustard gas attacks. Mom wasn't born yet, so she really doesn't know much about them. But if they were like my other great uncles, I'm sure they were good guys.

In WWII, I had another 3 great uncles, and 3 uncles serve. They all survived, one though wounded twice.

Korean War, my dad and his brother served, neither physically wounded, but I know my dad had PTSD.

Vietnam War, one cousin served, he came back also suffering from PTSD.

During the Vietnam War, my aunt & uncle whose son was serving, took out their blue star flag (from WWII) my uncle had been in the Navy & put the flag in their window. His maternal grandmother did the same, her son during WWII had been a POW.

So Trump just didn't disrespect the parents of a serviceman KIA, but all of us who have a hole in our family because of our losses.

[kestrel91316]

1. Not me. My dad came back from Nam.

But the 11th year of my life nearly broke me.

Even when they don't die or get hurt, your life changes irrevocably.

[Skittles]

3. correct

it is hard enough just being in a military family

[TreasonousBastard]

2. I'm not, but a lot of us were in uniform and...

it was only blind luck or the grace of God that we didn't fall. But for Trump, or anyone, to disparage a family who has lost a son or daughter to war is as low and disgusting as it gets.

And then to double down and claim his businesses were the same sacrifice is simply more proof he is the scum of the earth.

[lapfog_1]

4. Me...

My Brother died in the Navy... 1972.

Changed my life in many many ways...

[DonRedwood]

11. Evening...

best i can do from here....

[KMOD]

5. Gratefully, all of my loved ones survived.

But they were not unscathed from the brothers/sisters that they lost.

My uncle was enlisted in WWII and was a pilot in the Korean conflict. He was shot down, but survived. Other members of his squadron were not so lucky. He didn't like to talk about it. He just shut it down.

[sakabatou]

6. I think only one person in my extended family ever went into war

Otherwise everyone else is non-military.

[Justice]

7. Second cousin WWII

Bomber shot down on return to England. Buried at Arlington. 22 years old.

Also member of high school killed in Beirut barracks bombing.

[skylucy]

8. My cousin was killed in Iraq.

[DonRedwood]

12. Thank you for sharing

[trixie]

9. One soldier but not reported as a military death

My uncle fought in the Korean War and came back but died from what we think is the military testing Agent Orange or some other such poison. He was not recorded as a military death but when he came back his organs were fried and died quickly and painfully. So no, no stars for his family.

My Grandfather was in WWI; Uncles in WWII and the Korean War. All army all came back.

We have a nephew who is doing his second year-long deployment for the air force. He should be arriving in Texas in the next week or so, then it is his down time in Texas before returning to Michigan 4 - 6 weeks after that.

I am curious if he will change his vote from Republican to Democrat. Those soldiers are die hards, no? Of course no one will argue or even discuss politics with him for he serves, we shut up. He can say what he wants and we will nod and then hug him and shut the hell up.

[pnwmom]

10. My mother lost her older brother in WW2 and my grandparents' wounds never healed.

So I know what the Khans have going through.

[DonRedwood]

13. hugs

[colorado_ufo]

14. Lost my Uncle Bud in the Battle of Tarawa, WW II. Body was never recovered.

A few months later, his 16 y.o. brother, Henry, drowned in the Mississippi River. My poor grandmother never stopped grieving.

[DonRedwood]

15. My dad trained Green Berets during Vietnam

It nearly killed him that the Army made him stay back and train and so his boys went off without him. Years later he couldn't speak much of those times but when he showed me the pictures they were filled with young men who didn't come back. My mother said he begged to be sent over with them but the Army refused...he was more valuable stateside.

If my dad mourned those young men so many years later, then I know their parents must still be doing the same.

[pnwmom]

25. It sounds like you had a wonderful father who did his best for all those young men.

[colorado_ufo]

16. Also want to mention my Dad.

Came back from WW II alive but injured. Multiple Purple Hearts and honors, including the Bronze Star. My husband's father died in a jeep accident two weeks after the war ended; honors included the Silver Star.

[colorado_ufo]

17. Just one more post -

My Dad had four brothers also serving in WW II - his mother had five sons in the war. All were blessed to come home.

[BlueMTexpat]

19. Thankfully, none of my

nearest and dearest who served was killed in action. My heart literally goes out to anyone whose nearest and dearest were. There literally are no words.

My paternal grandfather was a US Cavalryman in WWI; my dad served on an Navy evacuation transport, the USS Tryon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Tryon_(APH-1)) during WWII. They evacuated casualties from battles in the South Pacific and transported them to hospital ships that were positioned at much safer distances from the frays, as well as carrying troops and supplies into battle. He never was quite the same afterwards. Although he did not himself fight, he dealt firsthand with the worst battle casualties - often while under fire - and was never quite the same afterwards.

My brother was a Marine Lieutenant who flew helicopters in SE Asia, technically Vietnam, but as we have all since learned, in other theaters as well. He returned as solidly anti-war as John Kerry and converted my grandfather and father to those positions. He was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 35, however, and died at 37 ... chemicals from his military service perhaps? We have had others in the extended family diagnosed with colon cancer, although none of us in the immediate family. The other diagnoses occurred at more advanced ages and no case was terminal.

My own sons never had to serve although my older son tried to enlist in the Navy after completing his university studies. At that time, the Navy was not taking new applicants (he would have been eligible for officer status). I consider that refusal fortuitous as he would likely have been conscripted for Bush I and Bush II wars - ALL of which I personally opposed.

I have several cousins - both male and female - and a nephew who served in the military. Those who served in active war zones returned physically unscathed and the overwhelming majority are vehemently anti-war. The husband of one cousin served in Vietnam as a medic and was very seriously wounded, but he returned well enough ultimately to complete his medical studies.

I didn't realize that it was even possible to loathe Trump more - until this latest. I also loathe anyone who justifies ANY of the crap he says.

[BlueMTexpat]

20. Just to add:

several maternal uncles also served during WWII and one paternal uncle served in the Army posted to Germany in the 1950s. He never served in an active war zone though. Of all, he is the least anti-war. Hmmm!

[mrmpa]

32. I've stated before.........

that if you want to meet a pacifist, talk to a veteran of war. My dad certainly was. He made sure that my older brother went to college for his student deferment.

There was also a kid on our street, whose father had died. When it was time to graduate high school, he knew he was going to be drafted. He talked to my dad (a 16 year member of the Marine Corps). My dad talked him into enlisting in the Air Force. My dad's reason for this at the time, was that it was the only branch of the service where enlisted men did not fight in battle.

When my dad died, I remember this kid saying "he was just like a father to me."

When I wanted to join the service, at that time if a woman was under 21, they had to have their parent(s) signature to do so, my parents wouldn't do it, however my dad had me contact a US Senator who was trying to get women admitted to the Service Academies (this was 1974). In late '75 or early '76, I had a call from this Senator telling me to let him know what Academy I wanted to attend. By then I had 2 years of college under my belt & didn't want to start all over again. God was my dad smart.

[BlueMTexpat]

40. In my experience, I discovered

that a LOT of career military officers in the Pentagon are a LOT less hawkish than the armchair warriors (chickenhawks) who want to go to war at the drop of a hat.

They know war from the ground up and know what sacrifices are required.

You were very lucky to have the dad you did!

I have, however, known many ex-service women (and men, for that matter) who used their military service to become better human beings (higher education benefits, skills training, etc.) and fortunately never had to serve in a war zone. The military itself is not intrinsically bad and is a necessity in today's world, so I have great respect for all those who serve/have served honorably even though I myself am anti-war.

It is those politicians and government contractors/subcontractors who use the military callously and for their own ends who make it "bad."

[TexasProgresive]

21. I am in the middle of 5 generations who served

We would accumulated 10 blue stars and thankfully no gold stars. One of my grandfathers was shot 3 times in WW 1, 2 in the chest that miraculously missed vital organs and 1 through the ankle that pained him throughout life. If he had died that would have eliminated the next 4 generations.That would've been a Gold Star leaving a giant hole in my family.

[Justice]

22. Thank you to everyone who responded and to your families for your service.

[Staph]

23. Blessedly, no.

My dad joined up in WWII, but caught rheumatic fever and was medically discharged. His heart valves were damaged, and that was what killed him 55 years later.

I come from a very lucky family.

[bigwillq]

24. I do not (nt)

[liberal N proud]

26. My Grandmother was a Gold Star Mother

I remember who important that was when I was young, they always got special honor at events. I recall Memorial Day was really special in the way veterans would always pick them up and escort them to the ceremonies.

It was an uncle, I never got to meet who died in WWII, his name is on a wall in New York City.

[Peacetrain]

27. First Cousin....

[tonyt53]

28. My dad's oldest brother died at the battle of the Bulge. My wife has an uncle still on the Arizona.

My oldest brother died of agent orange related heart disease in 2009. My other brother died from a blood clot caused by a bullet that they would not remove because it was to close to his heart - got that in Vietnam in 1972, killed him in 2006 when he had a really bad cough, irritated the bullet, blood clot formed and right into his heart. Damned war killed my brothers. My dad was awarded the Navy Cross for his actions on Guadalcanal. He was in the first landing. My oldest brother was awarded a Purple Heart from wounds during his first tour in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive. My other brother was awarded a Purple Heart because of his wounds. I cannot fathom the loss that the families of service members must feel.

[meow2u3]

29. My uncle was killed in WWII

He was executed by the Nazis after he was captured as a POW.

So it really pisses me off to hear the Toxic Tangerine insult a gold star family. This time, it's personal for me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

30. Distant cousins lost a son early on in Afghanistan.

[Loki]

31. On my dad's side,

my great uncle died in WWI. He was 22 years old. My dad was named after him.

[lostnfound]

33. Not me. Dad was too old for the wars and brother too young.

I had a couple of uncles that served briefly, no injuries.

Being skeptical of the motivations behind most wars (I read Smedley Butler's book), I am generally clueless about what military families go through. But I know my coworkers suffered terribly when loved ones were killed or injured in Iraq and Afghanistan. And even I know that Trump is not fit to even shine their shoes.

[UTUSN]

34. We all do

Last edited Wed Aug 3, 2016, 10:47 PM - Edit history (2)

[raven mad]

35. 2 cousins, one uncle and my aunt Kaky -

Korea, WWII.

Never claimed by us - most of my friends from 1967 on were in Viet Nam. Some came back in a box, some badly wounded, some PTSD........ I still love every one of them, and miss those who are gone.

My dad did WWII and Korea, was shot down in Korea as pilot, made it out, and never really recovered physically. Didn't make him less of a great dad!

[mountain grammy]

36. My dad survived WWII and Korea

only to die of leukemia at 42. I was ten. My mom was sure it was because he was in Japan after the bomb, but it might have been chemicals used in Korea, or just bad luck.
My husband came through Vietnam intact and my son though the first Bush Iraq war just fine. We are so lucky.

Reading this thread is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to all

[pinboy3niner]

37. I nearly died once in combat, and again at the evac hospital

A nurse, coming back to check on me as my gurney was lined up outside the full operating rooms, discovered I'd stopped breathing and an emergency tracheostomy was done on the spot to save my life.

Thanks to that nurse, there was no hole made in my family that day. But I knew more than 60 guys who were killed in Vietnam, leaving a lot of holes in a lot of families.

I've also met and cried with a lot of Gold Star families.

It was especially striking to me to learn something I didn't know about a good friend who was KIA in Vietnam. It wasn't until 2 decades after he was killed, when I located and spoke with his family, that I learned he'd been named after his uncle, his father's brother, who was KIA at Anzio in WWII. So Joe's dad was Gold Star twice over, having lost his brother in WWII and his son in Vietnam. That just blew me away...

Joe Hearne Rufty, Salisbury, NC
July 21, 1917 - June 2, 1944
KIA Anzio Beach, Italy

Joe Hearne Rufty, Salisbury, NC
February 23, 1945 - January 29, 1970
KIA Thua Thien Province, I Corps, South Vietnam

[Hassin Bin Sober]

38. My partner's uncle was killed on The Indianapolis.

This was 25 years before my partner was born so he never met him.

My dad enlisted at the end of WW2. He was trying to follow in the footsteps of his older brother who flew on 20 plus B17 missions and survived despite being shot down.

Two of my mom's brothers were wounded in Korea.

As a child, I vaguely remember hearing the older teenagers around the neighborhood, my parents and my oldest brother talk about the Vietnam draft. My oldest brother was barely old enough when the draft ended.

It was a scary time. I remember the blue stars in windows. I remember my other brother, who was only slightly older than me, having war nightmares.

[wishstar]

39. My uncle- son of Italian immigrants - died fighting for America in WW2 in the Pacific

Before he enlisted in the Army right after Pearl Harbor, he had traveled across country working with the Civilian Conservation Corps from NY to the Hoover Dam that he helped to build.

He was killed in action in Saipan in Sept 1944. He had been sending his military pay home to help my mother and her sister attend college so my mother could become a teacher and my aunt a nurse, the first ones in their family to go to college.

My dad was an Army Medic in WW2 for 3 years, coming back safely but his dad who was an Army Corporal in WW1 fought in the trenches in France where he was gassed, causing lifelong affects of shell shock. As a teen, I went with Grandpa to VA Hospital to get help for his severe depression.

[pinboy3niner]

42. This is small consolation, I know...

But when I was hospitalized for wounds from Vietnam, while out on pass I found a great Italian restaurant not far from the hospital in San Francisco where I met the owner, who was an Italian WWII combat veteran.

After we met, every time I came in he'd bring a bottle of wine to my table and sit down to talk. He was an Italian soldier only briefly when he was captured by American troops and sent to a POW camp in the U.S. (Colorado or Montana, I think). POWs could not do forced labor but could volunteer, and he spent his captivity doing conservation work much like the CCC.

In time he was released and was able to bring his family over from Italy to join him and eventually they were able to open their restaurant.

Every combat soldier wishes to escape the horrors of war. In this case, one did. He survived, was a POW, and later prospered. He had a great story, and I was glad he survived.

I'm very sorry about the loss of your uncle. He sounds like another good guy.

[redwitch]

41. My Uncle John was 21 when he was killed at Guadalcanal.

My grandmother was given the Purple Heart he was awarded posthumously. The medal was given to my oldest brother when she died and he cherishes it.

[Ex Lurker]

43. My BIL' s stepfather

his plane disappeared over the Pacific. It's a dangerous job, even in peacetime.