Mentally Unbalanced Man Still Waiting For The Right Trump Comment To Incite Him

[geardaddy]

http://www.theonion.com/article/mentally-unbalanced-man-still-waiting-right-trump--53506

HARRISBURG, PA—Explaining that the candidate’s recent inflammatory statements had further stoked his uncontrollable fury but hadn’t quite pushed him over the edge, local resident and mentally unhinged man Peter Scheft told reporters Friday he is still waiting for the exact right comment from Trump that will incite him to action. “Donald Trump has definitely said a lot of things that have reinforced my paranoid worldview, but I still haven’t heard that one key phrase that I know will really set me off,” said the psychologically disturbed 45-year-old, who noted that Trump’s remarks over the past 12 months, while increasingly vitriolic and incendiary, have not yet been worded in such a way that speaks directly to his delusional beliefs and spurs him to act on his manic, deep-seated rage. “It might not be tomorrow, or next week, or maybe not even until the debates, but sooner or later Trump is going to utter a perfectly phrased comment that provokes a major reaction from me. It could be a statement comparing all refugees to the 9/11 hijackers, or one that describes liberal judges as enemies of the Constitution bent on removing all our freedoms—regardless, I have complete confidence that between now and Election Day, something he says will just click and set me on an irreversible course of action.” The deeply troubled individual added that if Trump were to ever direct a bitter comment toward women who use Planned Parenthood services, that might be just the ticket.

The Onion does have its fingers on the pulse of these idiots.

[tonyt53]

1. Guy needs to be wearing a tracking bracelet on his ankle.

[geardaddy]

2. You know it's from The Onion, right?

But, like most Onion articles, it could pass as true.

[tonyt53]

3. Yeah, but my response was just having some fun at the expense of a typical Trumpster.

[geardaddy]

5. Ah, ok

[smirkymonkey]

11. It wouldn't be the first time that the Onion had been absolutely prescient where politics

are concerned. Not in bizzarro-land here.

[geardaddy]

12. This is true.

[True Dough]

4. I figured the mentally unbalanced man was Trump

until I saw his name later in the headline.

[gratuitous]

6. Satire or prediction?

Hard to tell anymore, except that I think this is 100% spot-on. Some lonely fuckhead somewhere is watching Fox or listening to Limbaugh and getting ready to go out in a blaze of violence. I just hope he doesn't take too many people with him. You know the various media outlets have their scripts ready to go, just waiting to do a universal search-and-replace for the lonely fuckhead's name and the locality where he goes off. Fill in the number of dead and wounded, and you're done for the day.

[geardaddy]

7. Exactly.

The Onion is actually America's #1 trusted news source.

[tblue37]

9. That is the essence of Poe's Law, after all. nt

[Gothmog]

8. I love the Onion

[iandhr]

10. The Onion is turning into a real newspaper.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I read that.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

13. that's a shame. The Onion has been hillarious, over the years.