3 women are being honored with medals -- and 1 man decides to make it about him.

[pnwmom]

Last edited Mon Aug 15, 2016, 11:42 PM - Edit history (1)

And the media plays along -- because an engagement ring is a "bigger prize" than an Olympic medal! (That's what the AP story actually said.)

If this is a thing, Olympic athletes, please make it stop! Is this really the message we want to send to our girls and young women? That an engagement ring is a bigger deal than an Olympic medal that an athlete has worked for years for?

http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/olympic-diver-gets-proposed-to-during-medal-ceremony-after-winning-silver-at-rio-34966876.html

Olympic diver gets proposed to during medal ceremony after winning silver at Rio

Olympic diver He Zi was stunned to tears when her boyfriend and teammate Qin Kai proposed to her during the Olympics medal ceremony.

The Chinese diver won silver for the women's three-metre springboard event and had just accepted her medal when her boyfriend rushed up to her podium and dropped to one knee with a diamond ring in one hand and a glass-encased red rose in the other.

http://www.salon.com/2016/08/15/public-marriage-proposals-are-awkward-an-olympic-medal-ceremony-among-other-events-isnt-the-time-or-the-place/

He Zi is a world class champion diver. At the 2012 Olympics, the now 25-year-old Chinese diver took a silver and a gold medal. In Rio this weekend, she again excelled, earning a silver women’s 3m springboard diving. But you probably know her as that girl who got proposed to.

On Sunday, Qin Kai, her boyfriend of six years, decided to make an honest woman out of his special and ask her to marry him. And he chose to do it right at what was actually her big moment. As the Olympics reported, he “climbed up to the stage after He Zi received her silver medal, getting down on one knee while holding a red box with the ring and a glass-encased rose.” So I guess you can just deal with sharing the spotlight at your moment of triumphant Olympic honor, right, gold medal winner Shi Tingmao and bronze finisher Tania Canotto? I mean, there’s a man here who has something he wants to say! Let’s all accommodate him, then.

Shi Tingmao, who is He Zi’s teammate, graciously told reporters later that she’d known what was up in advance, and Canotto likewise demurred, “It’s a really great moment to ask her to marry him.” And it was a moment that lent itself easily to headlines about “taking the plunge,” and how Zi had earned a “silver in 3m, gold in love.” But it wasn’t the only romantic gesture of its kind — last week, Brazilian women’s rugby player Isadora Cerullo got a proposal from her girlfriend Marjorie Enya right after the medal ceremony in the first women’s rugby sevens final. As CNN reported, “With microphone in hand and heart-shaped balloons on standby, Enya, 28, asked Cerullo to marry her.” It was, as The Guardian ominously predicted at the time, only the first marriage proposal of the games.

SNIP

But what makes bride-to-be He Zi’s happy news a little harder to take than some garden variety Jumbotron question-popping is that is it actively pulled the focus away from what she and the other two women were actually there for — and then that became the story. The Associated Press, for example, reported on the news that “Love is in the air at the Olympic diving pool. He Zi of China settled for silver in women’s 3-meter springboard on Sunday before accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.” Didn’t know the AP was qualified to make those value judgments.

[Iggo]

1. Jeez.

[nolabear]

2. Oh, let those crazy kids have both. Much happiness to them.

I'm not going to step on what is their moment and second guess it. I get the sentiment but, nah.

[pnwmom]

9. You don't think he stepped on the moments of the Gold and Bronze winners when he jumped

on the stage with them?

And do you agree with the story that said an engagement ring is a bigger prize than an Olympic medal? Somehow I doubt it.

[nolabear]

11. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps so. But I wouldn't think it sexist. Thoughtless, perhaps.

I wonder what they thought.

[pnwmom]

13. The stories that said an engagement ring is a bigger prize than an Olympic medal

are certainly sexist.

[nolabear]

33. Okay, but that's not the betrothed. I'm not denying sexism is rampant and ridiculous in these games

but I'll still grant that particular guy a little grace.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

34. Well apparently, the guy was "forcing his life choices" on others.

Whatever the hell that means.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. Sorry, I don't see how this justifies outrage.

Maybe he should have waited until after the ceremony, but I hardly see this as being some matter of horrid disrespect. The guy was in love.

On edit: It was right after the ceremony, not during it. So it's not like he disrupted the ceremony. This just makes the fake outrage even sillier.

[pnwmom]

4. Right. Because a woman whose just gotten a gold medal should OF COURSE

gladly stand back and let the spotlight shine on the man who has chosen that moment to give an engagement ring to the silver medalist.

And of course an engagement ring is a bigger deal than an Olympic medal.

But what makes bride-to-be He Zi’s happy news a little harder to take than some garden variety Jumbotron question-popping is that is it actively pulled the focus away from what she and the other two women were actually there for — and then that became the story. The Associated Press, for example, reported on the news that “Love is in the air at the Olympic diving pool. He Zi of China settled for silver in women’s 3-meter springboard on Sunday before accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.” Didn’t know the AP was qualified to make those value judgments.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

6. It happened after the end of the ceremony.

He didn't jump on stage when they were playing the anthem.

I actually watched the diving event yesterday and saw who won and didn't know about the engagement until I read about it here, so it's not like it stole the moment for me.

[pnwmom]

8. He climbed up on the stage with the winners. He didn't belong there. He should have waited

till the women were off the stage.

No one said he stole the moment from YOU. But he didn't belong on that stage with the women who had won the medals.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

10. Something tells me that the Gold Medalist is going to be just fine.

I highly doubt the runner up getting proposed to after the ceremony is going to take away from the immense pride of knowing you're literally the best in the entire world at something.

[pnwmom]

12. And the Bronze winner? And all the women and girls who are being told in media reports

that an engagement ring is a bigger prize than an Olympic medal?

But what makes bride-to-be He Zi’s happy news a little harder to take than some garden variety Jumbotron question-popping is that is it actively pulled the focus away from what she and the other two women were actually there for — and then that became the story. The Associated Press, for example, reported on the news that “Love is in the air at the Olympic diving pool. He Zi of China settled for silver in women’s 3-meter springboard on Sunday before accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.” Didn’t know the AP was qualified to make those value judgments.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

17. From the looks of it watching yesterday, the Bronze medalist looked thrilled to have won a medal.

Again, what happened after the ceremony probably didn't have much of a factor into the moment itself.

And sure, the wording in the AP article could have been phrased better, but it's such small potatoes as issues go. Women will continue to give their all at Olympics to come, they will continue to win medals and get acclaim for it, and they'll succeed and break ceilings in other areas as well. Such as getting elected President.

[pnwmom]

19. The Bronze medalist shouldn't have had to share attention with the guy who jumped on the stage

to give a ring to his girlfriend.

Why couldn't he have waited till all three were off the stage? Because he wanted to draw the cameras and the attention to himself.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

20. The guy was probably caught up in the moment. Sheesh. Give him a break.

Fact of the matter is, the Gold and Bronze winners were probably caught up in the moment as well. They were probably too busy beaming at the medal around their neck to even care what was going on next to them.

[pnwmom]

22. No, he planned it, obviously. No one carries a ring to a public event without knowing

how he's going to present it.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

26. Well, isn't he just an awful person for doing that?

Listen, I'll agree that public proposals aren't my thing personally, but honestly, I don't know what your deal is here.

I actually had to check the video. The presentation of the medals was over. The anthem was over. The pictures of the winners was over. They were all walking off stage when the boyfriend came up to propose.

Unless I hear something that the Gold medalist or Bronze medalist felt cheapened by the fact that after the ceremony the Silver medalist got proposed to, who the hell cares?

[jberryhill]

60. He planned that she'd medal in the event?

Dang.

[pnwmom]

64. He planned to give it to her after her event. And he knew there was a likelihood she'd

be where she was.

[LanternWaste]

23. "Probably" is effective grease when moving weighted goalposts.

"Probably" is effective grease when moving weighted goalposts.

[alarimer]

97. That was a pukeworthy quote right there.

Fuck the idea that an engagement ring is any sort of prize compared to an Olympic medal. After all, anyone can can get married. Not everyone is good enough to medal at anything.

[AtheistCrusader]

178. Value judgment of human relationships.

There are no medals, no trophies, no personal possessions, not even my ring, that I would treasure over the bond I share with my wife. Burn it all, so long as the two of us are still standing.

That stuff is just stuff. Replaceable, or ignorable. I don't even wear my ring. Who cares. Piece of metal. Meaningless, really. Without value *to me*.

I think the headline suffers from a common problem, casting or projecting value. Probably meant well, and the 'value' of a potential marriage is likely what they meant to convey. Clumsy. Dumb. Saccharine.

But as you may be familiar with the sci-FI trope from 'contact', the media's crime really boils down to "They should've sent a poet".

[pnwmom]

181. I agree. I'd rather have my husband than a medal. But an engagement ring isn't a PRIZE

that you WIN after a COMPETITION. It doesn't represent the culmination of years of hard work, but the beginning of a lifetime commitment.

And it isn't that the headline writer wasn't a poet.. That person was spouting off the same imessage women have been fed through the ions -- that their personal achievements didn't matter as much as men's. Because that brand of poetry never gets applied to men.

And this overlooks the effect of the man's actions on the two other medal winners, whose moment was eclipsed. Not a good move on the man's part. He should have waited.

[AtheistCrusader]

232. Whatever you do, don't watch Batchelor/Batchlorette

To some of society it is indeed sort of a contest.

Not everyone of course.

[pnwmom]

234. Don't get me started!

The whole concept of that show is so pathetic.

[melman]

14. It was after the ceremony

What don't you get about that?

[pnwmom]

16. They were still on the stage in front of the cameras. And he wasn't one of the winners. What don't

you get about that?

[Dreamer Tatum]

95. You seem to have invested quite a lot in Butthurt, Inc stock today.

And now it appears you're trying to pump it so you can dump it.

[Squinch]

52. No, it wasn't. The ceremony was still happening.

[melman]

72. Wrong

It had just ended.

[pnwmom]

99. Photographs of the three women were still being taken when he showed up

and inserted himself among them, and then drew her away.

[Squinch]

172. So there he is up on the stage where the ceremony is still happening and the three winners

are still having photos taken. And LOOK! There he is getting into the photos of the winners of an event he had nothing to do with!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

173. The ceremony was done with.

They presented the medals, played the anthem, and took the pictures.

He was off to the side when they were taking the pictures. He wasn't in the pictures.

After they were done the pictures, the three medalists started walking away from the platform area. Only then did they pull the silver medalist aside and he proposed to her.

No sense in bullshitting us here.

[Squinch]

187. If it was done, they wouldn't be alone on the stage with only olympic officials when he came up.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

191. Have you been watching the Olympics?

Here's what happens:

1. The Athlete(s) win the event or place second and third out of a field of competitors.
2. The top three finishers are taken to a podium.
3. Their names are announced as the Bronze, Silver, and Gold medalists, respectively, and their medals are presented to them.
4. They stand at attention as their countries' flags are raised and the anthem of the Gold Medalist's country is played.
5. They take a very quick picture of the three medalists with their medals.
6. The ceremony is over and the medalists leave.

1-5 had all happened before the boyfriend proposed. The ceremony was done. Finished. Finito. Over with. Expired. No longer occurring. A matter of the past and not the present.

What you saw there was a little aftershow. It wasn't the ceremony.

[Squinch]

196. It was the ceremony. He was not a winner, he did not belong where he was.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

205. The ceremony was done with. nt

[Squinch]

211. Nope.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

214. Okay, so exactly when does the ceremony end?

Was there something else that was going to happen after they took the photo of the medal winners?

[melman]

238. That's not the ceremony

You can insist the ceremony is everything before they get back to the hotel, but that doesn't make it so.

The ceremony was over.

[snooper2]

137. I think you should get a plane ticket to Rio Stat!

This deserves human interaction type rage not just words on a random message board! Get Your Point Across LIVE Bill O'Reilly Style!

DO IT LIVE! LOL

[AlbertCat]

75. Sorry, I don't see how this justifies outrage.

It doesn't.

But y'know....


outrage is in!

[PoutrageFatigue]

5. What utter crap...

This takes man-hating to the nth degree...

What an incredibly romantic gesture....

And you shit all over it...

[pnwmom]

7. I would say that he shat all over the gold medalist's and bronze medalist's moment in the spotlight.

And the media played along.

Because getting a man to propose to you is a much bigger deal than an Olympic medal.

But what makes bride-to-be He Zi’s happy news a little harder to take than some garden variety Jumbotron question-popping is that is it actively pulled the focus away from what she and the other two women were actually there for — and then that became the story. The Associated Press, for example, reported on the news that “Love is in the air at the Olympic diving pool. He Zi of China settled for silver in women’s 3-meter springboard on Sunday before accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.” Didn’t know the AP was qualified to make those value judgments.

[leftstreet]

24. Ugh

accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.

I missed that in the original post. Just what the fuck!



Guess I was blindsided by "make an honest woman of..."



Public engagements are creepy to begin with, but the reporting here makes it even worse

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

28. Salon is the one who inserted "make an honest woman"....

......editorial and they're the one making it about being sexist.

Hoisted by their own petard, I'd say. The whole thing an embarrassment of click bait.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

32. The AP could have phrased their article better, but the entire Salon piece just comes off...

...as if the author has some sort of bitter ax to grind.

Yeah, sure, I'll agree public proposals sometimes are a bit cheesy, but to each his or her own. The whole "I don’t want to be corralled into strangers’ life choices" just comes off ridiculous and self-centered. You're not getting hurt if someone decides to propose in public. So if I'm at a baseball game, and someone proposes over the jumbotron, I'm somehow being forced into someone else's moment? No. That's just stupid. If they want to share their moment, no matter how silly it seems, fine with me. Best of luck.

The guy proposed after the ceremony, as they were walking off stage. Give them a break. No one was stealing anyone's moment.

[Squinch]

40. It's crappy. It is her moment for her accomplishment. And it was the moment

that belonged to the two other medalists. The man didn't see those accomplishments as more worthy of respect than his proposal.

This isn't man hating. This is entitled attention-mongering asshole hating.

I guess it's hard for some to see the difference, though.

[PoutrageFatigue]

47. Did you miss the part about him proposing AFTER THE MEDAL CEREMONY?

Reading comprehension, it's a thing.

[Squinch]

49. Did you miss the part that NO IT WASN'T? It was DURING the medal ceremony.

She had already received the medal, but the medal ceremony was still happening.

Yes. Reading comprehension IS a thing.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

63. Check the video.

The ceremony was over with. After the ceremony they take the picture. That's the last official thing they do.

They took the picture and they all started walking off.

Only then as the others were walking off did he ask her.

Trust me, I don't think the gold and bronze winners noticed or cared. I wouldn't have cared, considering I had an Olympic medal around my neck.

[Squinch]

160. Yep. There he is up on the stage with the three women who won the event,

during the ceremony when only the three winners and the olympic officials should be there.

Trust me. Those women killed themselves to get onto that podium. Trust me, that guy didn't belong there during their moment. Trust me.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

175. One more "Trust me" and I'm going to think I'm talking to Donald Trump here.

He's off to the side when they took the pictures. After they took the pictures, that's it. End of ceremony.

They all start to leave and then the pull the silver medalist aside and he proposes.

[Squinch]

189. I thought the same when you said "trust me," which is why I lampooned it. And

the ceremony wasn't over. He's up on the stage where only winners and Olympic officials should be.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

192. He was off to the side.

He wasn't in the picture. He wasn't on the podium when the flags were raised and the anthem played. They didn't announce his presence during the ceremony.

You're acting as though he photobombed the ceremony, and the fact of the matter was the ceremony was done with.

[Squinch]

197. He was on the stage where only the winners and the olympic offical were. He did not belong there.

[pnwmom]

66. Talk about reading comprehension.

The original article at the OP, if you read far enough, said that it happened DURING the ceremony. And so did this one:

http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/olympic-diver-gets-proposed-to-during-medal-ceremony-after-winning-silver-at-rio-34966876.html

Olympic diver gets proposed to during medal ceremony after winning silver at Rio

Olympic diver He Zi was stunned to tears when her boyfriend and teammate Qin Kai proposed to her during the Olympics medal ceremony.

The Chinese diver won silver for the women's three-metre springboard event and had just accepted her medal when her boyfriend rushed up to her podium and dropped to one knee with a diamond ring in one hand and a glass-encased red rose in the other.

[PoutrageFatigue]

83. Here's the video. You can get back to me with an apology after you watch it

Pay attention to the part where the ceremony had finished and THEN he proposed.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2016/aug/15/chinese-diver-proposes-medals-podium-rio-olympic-games-he-zi-qin-kai?CMP=fb_gu

[pnwmom]

84. I've seen it. And the women were still standing up there together, having photos taken,

when he inserted himself into the picture and got his intended to leave the other two.

[PoutrageFatigue]

87. Wrong. Not even worth a quick grin.

[Captain Stern]

134. No, they weren't.

It clearly shows, and says, that he proposed to her after she stepped OFF the medal podium. The other two winners aren't anywhere near her when he gives her the ring.

[pnwmom]

135. The women were off the podium but on the larger stage, standing together as a group,

having their pictures taken,, when he approached them and basically got in the photos, too. And then he drew her away from them, and then, with them at some distance away, he gave her the ring.

[PoutrageFatigue]

141. So not during the ceremony then?

Medals already handed out, anthems played, not on the podium, walking towards the dressing room...AFTER the ceremony, yes?

[pnwmom]

142. The reporters at the scene used the word "during." And the women were not walking toward

the dressing room. They were still on the stage, standing in a group, having their pictures taken and enjoying their moments together -- till he "climbed on the stage" and interrupted them.

He should have waited till they were off the stage and done with the picture-taking, not inserted himself into that event.

[PoutrageFatigue]

143. The byline to the photo you linked to in the OP said AFTER

The video clearly shows AFTER you are now just being ridiculous.

[alarimer]

98. It is coercive, not romantic.

In what fucking universe is a very public proposal anything other than manipulative.

If that's your idea of romance, then fuck romance.

[FBaggins]

128. Don't you think that should be HER choice?

Not yours?

[skepticscott]

147. That's the whole point, and the question, isn't it?

By doing it so publicly, was it his intent to make it difficult for her to choose to say no? Even if that wasn't his specific intent, was it something he should have considered?

[FBaggins]

155. How do you know that he didn't consider it?

They're on the same team and have been together for years. Their teammate (the gold medal winner) was reportedly in on the plan.

MOST people who get engaged know the answer long before the proposal.

It isn't as though you can "trap" someone into marriage by making it hard to say no in public. It doesn't page them under a legal obligation to go through with a wedding.

[skepticscott]

163. If he had considered it honestly

he WOULD have realized that she might feel undue pressure in that situation, and would not have asked, if he cared about her more than himself. What other reason is there for him to do it in front of millions of strangers, other than his own ego and narcissism?

And no, you can't "trap" someone that way, but the pressure is still there to keep saying yes until the wedding. And how many women in that situation are thinking "God, I don't really want to marry him, but I'll just say yes to keep from being embarrassed, and then tell him later that I didn't mean it"?

Right..none.

[PoutrageFatigue]

140. Professing his love for the woman he wants to partner with for the rest of his life...

Last edited Tue Aug 16, 2016, 12:07 PM - Edit history (1)

....on a world stage = 'not romantic '

Got it.

[skepticscott]

148. If he's asking her in that situation

because he thinks she won't be able to say no with all those people watching, even if she wants to, then no...it isn't romantic. It's manipulative and coercive.

[PoutrageFatigue]

151. And you know this how?

...

[skepticscott]

153. For better reasons

than the ones you have for being sure he's being romantic.

Think about those reasons before you decide to try toargue them.

[PoutrageFatigue]

156. So, in other words you've got nothing.

As I suspected.

[JI7]

268. i don't find it romantic at all when it's done in that way

[Squinch]

159. This too!

[Quantess]

15. An engagement ring is a bigger "prize" than a silver medal?

Maybe, maybe not, depending on the suitor, and definitely not for anyone else other than her to make that call.

Sometimes people say "he's a real prize" sarcastically. Or "he's no prize, honey!"
But almost never in a serious way does a suitor get called a "prize", have you noticed?

Is it possible the reporter was being snarky?

[davidn3600]

18. Call me unromantic, but I'm not a fan of public marriage proposals

You sometimes see this at sporting events and most of the time it's cringe-worthy.

It's just my opinion, but that's something that should be done between two people in private.

[pnwmom]

21. Me, neither.

My husband gave me a rose in his dorm room. And my heart skipped a bunch of beats.

More than 30 years later, I can say that worked just fine for us.

[smirkymonkey]

25. Hear, hear!

[melman]

30. I can't stand them

It's totally obnoxious. But this is still invented outrage over nothing.

[SickOfTheOnePct]

37. I'm not a fan either

But I don't them as something to be upset about. The ceremony was over, so who cares?

And to the OP, it's entirely possible that to many people, a marriage proposal IS more important than an Olympic medal.

[pnwmom]

42. If a male Olympian gets engaged, how many people would think that a new ring is a bigger prize?

[sarae]

74. Zero.

[GummyBearz]

92. I'm not an olympian

But I wouldn't trade my wife for a gold medal, much less a silver one. She is the bigger prize. Darn 2 people got engaged and we have to get upset about it? Seems like a giant waste of time... wait yes

[pnwmom]

93. That's not the issue. The point is that the media is acting like the proposal is a bigger deal

than the medal; and that the young man interrupted the three young women's moment of triumph.

He should have waited.

[GummyBearz]

100. I will say a prayer that they are not scared for life from this happening

Let us now hold a moment of silence for them

[Squinch]

162. So say your wife worked her whole life to achieve something, like say she got a degree

and was graduating. If another grad's boyfriend went up on the stage, made all the cameras train away from the graduates and your wife, onto him as he proposed to his girlfriend, would you feel that is fine?

Alternately, would you be that guy who goes up on the stage during your wife's graduation and talks to the assembled about how much you love your wife? Do you think anyone there should be giving a rat's ass about that at that moment?

If you were a guy who would do such a thing, I'd have to say that you didn't really think all that much of your wife or of her accomplishment.

[GummyBearz]

267. So ridiculous

No I would never do that, its not my style. If someone did it to me in my moment, I wouldn't care. I'd actually cheer them on... I don't presume to answer how my wife would react if someone did it in her moment. I'd just ask her afterwards. Kind of like how the other medalists were asked for a reaction afterwards, and neither of them cared nearly as much as a few people on this board do about it

[Squinch]

272. Ask your wife now. I bet she has an opinion about this.

[GummyBearz]

278. After watching the clip she said

... no big deal

[Squinch]

279. I think those who are flaming here about bad feminists have created a hysteria that is only

in their heads.

The opinion given by the OP is not necessarily that the circumstance is a big deal. In fact, it's so commonplace that it really isn't a big deal. The OP isn't saying it's a big deal. The OP is saying it isn't right.

The point of the OP was that the man stole the woman's thunder at a moment when all eyes should have been on the three winners and the conversation should have been about the fact that they have just proven themselves to be the best divers in the world.

Aside from "big deal" or not, does your wife think that the thunder of these three women proving themselves the best divers in the world was diverted away from the winners and toward the proposal, and was that appropriate at that moment?

[Squinch]

161. Especially if his fiance skipped up to the stage during his medal ceremony, got all the

cameras focused on her, and then announced their engagement before the winners had left the stage?

I could just about imagine.

[liberalmuse]

55. I think it's more romantic...

if it's low key, between the couple. It's a bit weird to me that someone would propose publicly in front of cameras. Maybe I'm just old and this is the way things I think are deeply personal are done now; publicly in front of cameras and/or blasted all over social media. The guy should have let his girlfriend bask in her own glory for awhile, not to mention have respect for the other winners.

[sarae]

27. I think it's really annoying that the AP called the proposal an "even bigger prize".

No, it's not a bigger prize to get engaged, sorry.

Imagine if Michael Phelps had his first gold medal ceremony interrupted by his fiancée proposing to him? I can't imagine the news reporting his engagement as a bigger prize than his Olympic achievement.

ETA: Maybe the young man in question wasn't intentionally trying to be sexist, but he should have waited for her moment to be over.

[PeaceNikki]

29. Did you see this?

http://thetab.com/uk/2016/08/10/congrats-girl-fiance-former-miss-california-scoops-25th-gold-medal-13873

[pnwmom]

35. LOL

[sarae]

73. !!!

[SickOfTheOnePct]

39. To you maybe it's not a bigger prize

To others it might be.

And the ceremony wasn't interrupted.

[FBaggins]

130. A silver medal is worth about $300

The engagement ring is almost certainly the greater financial value.

One represents the accolades of a large audience for a skill that will quickly fade... while the other represents a lifetime commitment to who she is as a person.

If they're truly in love than it probably does represent far more to her than any olympic medal could - and the measure of tackiness that others want to use to judge them is in itself tack.

[tanyev]

31. So this obsession with public proposals is not just a U.S. thing.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

36. I wonder if over-the-top destination weddings are only a U.S. thing. nt

[Donald Ian Rankin]

38. What a stupid, self-righteous, mean-spirited article.

[pnwmom]

41. And from your perspective, there's nothing wrong with the AP writer saying that getting a man

to propose is a "bigger prize" than winning an Olympic medal.

I think that's pretty warped.

[MicaelS]

43. Too bad.

Having someone to ask you to be their life partner is MORE important than winning a medal, and gender has nothing to do with it. If you think some medal is more important than love, that is pretty warped.

[pnwmom]

44. Yeah, right. That's what society has always told men.

This isn't about what is more important -- a medal or love. This is about viewing love as an "accomplishment" -- and an engagement ring as some sort of prize, instead of as a sign of commitment.

But only for women.

[Squinch]

50. How about the other two medalists? It was crappy.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

54. The other two medalists had already left the platform

The ceremony was over with.

[pnwmom]

59. Both the article in the OP and this other article say it was during the ceremony.

http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/olympic-diver-gets-proposed-to-during-medal-ceremony-after-winning-silver-at-rio-34966876.html

[Tommy_Carcetti]

65. The video clearly shows the others walking away after they take the picture.

The picture is the last official part of the ceremony. It was over with.

It happened on stage after the ceremony, but it didn't happen during the ceremony.

[PoutrageFatigue]

88. Watch.The.Video.

[pnwmom]

89. I did. They were still taking pictures when he inserted himself into the group photo,

and then detached her from the group.

Not cool.

[PoutrageFatigue]

90. Nope. They'd already left the podium.

But you just keep in digging....

[pnwmom]

91. The three women were standing on the stage having their pictures taken together.

This was supposed to be their moment together, not his with his girlfriend.

[Squinch]

171. Nope. The video shows different.

[Squinch]

164. If you interrupt the moment of triumph that your life partner has worked toward

all her life, in order to gain attention for yourself, you do not care that much for your life partner.

And gender has nothing to do with that either.

If you think someone's need for attention is more important than celebrating one's partner's achievements, that's pretty warped.

[Nay]

239. Thank you. Again, for those who don't seem to get it, he interrupted her

moment of glory on the world's stage -- she worked long and hard to get this -- and we're all supposed to think that was sweet? This was HER moment, and he made it about HIM. Maybe he's just clueless, but she needs to be VERRRRY careful that he doesn't dedicate his life to upstaging her, denigrating her achievements by stunts that focus the camera on him, etc.

[Squinch]

263. The three women have won the title of best divers in the world. And what is everyone talking about?

Not their diving!

[JI7]

45. i find these type of public proposals a turn off and nothing romantic about it

[DawgHouse]

46. I agree with everything you have said.

I do wish them a happy life but my first thought was "Oh wow, can she just have a moment that is hers and hers alone?"

[joeybee12]

48. If she was the only one on the podium, it would have been ok...

But he took the spotlight away from the gold and bronze medalists...that sucks.

[Squinch]

51. Exactly. And from her as well.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

53. It wasn't during the ceremony.

The other medalists had already left the platform area.

[pnwmom]

58. Multiple reports say it was during the ceremony. Like this one:

http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/olympic-diver-gets-proposed-to-during-medal-ceremony-after-winning-silver-at-rio-34966876.html

Olympic diver gets proposed to during medal ceremony after winning silver at Rio

Olympic diver He Zi was stunned to tears when her boyfriend and teammate Qin Kai proposed to her during the Olympics medal ceremony.

The Chinese diver won silver for the women's three-metre springboard event and had just accepted her medal when her boyfriend rushed up to her podium and dropped to one knee with a diamond ring in one hand and a glass-encased red rose in the other.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

67. Again, the video.

The others were walking off the stage. They held Zi back when Kai was going to propose, but the ceremony was done with.

[pnwmom]

76. The video clearly shows him walking up to the woman and interrupting her moment with the others. n/t

[melman]

78. The video disproves the original claim

so you've now moved it from the ceremony to a 'moment'. lol.

[pnwmom]

80. No, it doesn't. The young woman were still on the stage, together, having photos taken

when the prospective finance interrupted them.

[PoutrageFatigue]

86. Yours is even better than the one I posted...but who are you going to believe?

The video or the corner someone painted themselves into?

[librarylu]

133. I think it was incredibly sweet.

I'm tearing up too but not as much as she did.

Young love gives me hope for the world.

[Kingofalldems]

56. That was my first thought.

WTH was that guy doing on the podium?

[Ilsa]

57. What if a girlfriend ran up to a gold medal winner and told him she was pregnant?

Or an older adult ran up and claimed to be his daddy?

And what if she said she needed time to think about it? Awkward. Does that also make the moment special for the silver and bronze winners? I think it was a thoughtless time to propose. I think a proposal should be more intimate, even if it is in public.

This could get freaky, letting people do personal stuff publicly.

[pnwmom]

68. LOL. Good question. n/t

[msongs]

61. so the bride to be and other winners were in on it and ok with it and you only blame the man lol nt

[pnwmom]

69. The bride to be wasn't in on it. And what were the other women supposed to say

that wouldn't have sounded jealous or ungracious?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

70. They would say....

"I won an Olympic medal. I'm one of the three best athletes in the world at my event. I'm going to have this medal for as long as I live and display it as a source of personal pride and accomplishment."

Pretty sure they really didn't give a shit what happened after the ceremony. I wouldn't have.

[melman]

101. So you're saying they didn't really meant it when they said it didn't bother them

How on earth could you know? You don't.

You just dismiss what they say because it doesn't support what you think about what happened to them!

[pnwmom]

102. They were making polite statements, as people often do. n/t

[melman]

105. You know better

about what they thought than they do! Unbelievable.

[pnwmom]

106. Women are taught to be polite and not reveal negative feelings in public.

So there is no way for an observer to know what they were really feeling.

But that's not the main point. The media sent the message to millions of girls around the world that an engagement ring is a bigger "prize" than an Olympic medal. And that's a ridiculous message that they never send to boys.

[deathrind]

62. Really?

[lumberjack_jeff]

71. Yes. "Making it about you" is the ultimate in bad form. n/t

[AlbertCat]

77. Is this one OK?

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2016/08/09/gay-rugby-player-receives-first-olympic-marriage-proposal-from-girlfriend-video/


because they lost?

[Squinch]

165. Did it happen during a medal ceremony?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

174. Did this one happen during a medal ceremony?

No?

Then what's your point?

[Squinch]

188. Yes.

[AngryAmish]

79. The very idea that men should be allowed at the Olympics is problematic.

[Raine1967]

81. I'm gonna K&R this OP.

I get the point, even if some don't.

I'd like to believe (I do believe, to tell the truth) my partner would let me have my time in the spotlight and not make it about him.

I got married 8 years ago, I explicitly said I don't want a ring. The idea that a ring is more important than an Olympic medal as prescribed by media is outrageous.

[Travis_0004]

82. Its just a silver

I would agree with you that a gold metal is more valuable.

[pnwmom]

85. Just a silver? In the Olympics? What about the gold and bronze winners who got their moment

in the sun interrupted because this guy wanted some publicity for his proposal?

[FBaggins]

131. They seem to be fine with it

But why not substitute our own judgement for their emotions, right?

Reportedly, the gold medal winner is their friend and knew about the proposal in advance.

[Dreamer Tatum]

94. Nice moment for the couple - tough shit if anyone doesn't like it nt

[opiate69]

231. Plus a brazillion.

[alarimer]

96. Please stop with the fucking public proposals.

No one wants to see it. Well, I, at least, want to see one of these assholes get turned down. On national television. Because fuck putting someone in a position where she (and it almost always is a she) is under pressure to say yes, lest she cause embarrassment.

[bluestateguy]

103. Maybe we could ask He Zi for her opinion before declaring the whole episode sexist.

Maybe?

[pnwmom]

104. She's not the only one involved. There were the gold and bronze winners who had their celebration

interrupted, and there were all the girls and young women in the audience, who got the media message that an engagement ring is a bigger "prize" than an Olympic medal.

No one gives that message to young men, but it's fine to send that message to young women?


http://www.salon.com/2016/08/15/public-marriage-proposals-are-awkward-an-olympic-medal-ceremony-among-other-events-isnt-the-time-or-the-place/

But what makes bride-to-be He Zi’s happy news a little harder to take than some garden variety Jumbotron question-popping is that is it actively pulled the focus away from what she and the other two women were actually there for — and then that became the story. The Associated Press, for example, reported on the news that “Love is in the air at the Olympic diving pool. He Zi of China settled for silver in women’s 3-meter springboard on Sunday before accepting an even bigger prize: an engagement ring.” Didn’t know the AP was qualified to make those value judgments.

[canetoad]

107. Agree

And rec.

I haven't read the whole thread but if rec. to response ratio shows anything, I wouldn't agree with many posts.

Allowing for translation, imperfect English etc, the whole issue is typified by this statement:

"her boyfriend of six years, decided to make an honest woman out of his special and ask her to marry him"

Time and place.

[The Straight Story]

108. Seriously? This is what modern feminism is about now?

This sort of thing is the type of battle you fight?

A romantic story about a man who loves a woman and proposes to her and this is what gets your goat?

When this is the type of thing you are complaining about maybe you should take a long, hard, look at yourself and why you are so damned bitter.

I just don't get it. Really, I don't. I am trying to understand, to be open minded, but when people are upset about young love and romance I can't help but think they have a lot deeper issues.

[BooScout]

110. Yea we women are always 'bitter' when we speak out....

And heaven forbid we should object to a man stealing our thunder. Maybe we should just stay home and bake cookies and have teas.

[Squinch]

274. Stating an opinion is SO bitter! And stating opinions makes for bad feminists. Just so you know.

[BooScout]

277. Don't bother me....

I'm busy baking cookies and having tea. When I have finished with that, I am going to get barefoot and pregnant.

[pnwmom]

118. I'm not bitter. I just don't think this is the message society should be sending to our daughters --

that an engagement ring is a bigger "prize" than an Olympic medal.

I've been married for three decades, and have never viewed my rings as "prizes."
They are a sign of a commitment, not an accomplishment. The rings only marked the beginning, not the culmination of years of dedication -- that's what Olympic medals signify.

If he wants to ask her publicly, and she's fine with that, great. But he didn't need to interrupt her moment in the spotlight -- her moment and that of the gold and bronze winners. He didn't need to insert himself on the stage and in the photos.

And the media shouldn't have been describing the ring as a prize -- and bigger than an Olympic medal. That's ridiculous.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

244. Have you ever heard an athlete saying winning the Super Bowl or World Series.....

.....was bigger than the day they got married or the birth of their child?

If they did, can you IMAGINE what the reaction would be? Seriously?

[Squinch]

273. Has a Super Bowl winner's girlfriend ever interrupted the ring ceremony

to ask the athlete to marry her? And then dominated all the press photos of the team?

I don't recall that ever happening.

[Squinch]

167. Someone makes a comment and you extrapolate that it is what modern feminism is ALL about.

And women's opinions about someone stealing other women's thunder are, to you, signs of bitterness.

As usual.

[BooScout]

109. You know what's sad and annoys the hell out of me?

Is that in this incidence and in so many other ones similar to it....... Some folks just don't get it. They will never get it. As women, we have been having our thunder stolen from us our entire lives and we are just supposed to accept it and deal with it. If we speak up and object to it, we are dismissed as being over-sensitive regarding the subject. It's just a vicious cycle. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't.

[melman]

112. The women that were actually involved

didn't object but according to the OP their statements on the subject don't matter.

[pnwmom]

114. None of us know what they really felt. Most women would understand that women are trained to be

supportive and polite. What they said afterwards might have been genuine -- or it might have been what they thought they were supposed to say.

I can't imagine the outcry if one of them had said, "Yeah, that actually was very rude, the way he got in the middle of our photos and took her away. I wish he'd waited another ten minutes."

[BooScout]

117. Exactly!

[Nay]

240. Yeah, she'd be called a castrating bitch! nt

[mythology]

253. But you're absolutely willing to presume to speak for their real thoughts

That actually sounds a little sexist (or more accurately just arrogant and presumptuous). Those women can't speak their minds, they are too fragile and dainty to do so. Fortunately you're here to speak for them and to repeatedly misrepresent what happened even after video evidence was repeatedly presented that disproves your claim that it happened during the medal ceremony.

I think proposals in general are stupid and public ones even more so, but I would never presume to insert my own judgement about what I would want onto others.

I don't remember any posts complaining about the two women with the Brazilian rugby team getting engaged right after a game. Wasn't that stealing a moment from the winning team? Or is that moment not big enough?

[BooScout]

116. You know this how?

Were they asked? You are merely assuming that is the case. You have no idea what those medal winners were thinking.

[melman]

120. Because they said so

[pnwmom]

121. A reporter asked and they acted like they were fine with it. "Acted" being the operative word.

There's no way to know how they really felt.

I know I wouldn't have dreamed of objecting if I had been in their shoes, matter how I might have felt; either then or after having some time to think about it.

[BooScout]

122. Exactly.

Like I said before....we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. The story of our lives.

Just by raising the idea of the women athletes limelight being infringed upon in this thread.... women are being jumped on for speaking out about it and having the opinion that it may have not been so cool to do such a thing. It's pretty telling.

[melman]

125. No what's really telling

is the outright dismissal of the words of the women involved by those that claim to be speaking up for them. That's what's telling.

[PoutrageFatigue]

144. No shit. 'Don't listen to them, WE know what they really meant'...

[pnwmom]

241. Women make nice and men believe them. Because if too many women said what they really think

all hell might break lose.

But when men say what they really think they're being "authentic."

[AtheistCrusader]

111. This happens all the time at the finish line of tough mudder or spartan race.

Marathons too. Big physical challenges, people overcome, sometimes alone, sometimes as a team. This happens.

Men proposing to women is statistically more common due to longstanding social mores, but that's changing over time. You see it happen the other direction sometimes. Some day it will balance out on its own.

If it had been a female partner proposing to her would you be upset? If it had been a female partner proposing to a male athlete, would you be upset?

If you switch the gender identities around and the 'acceptableness' changes, then the principle is sound. It just smacks of patriarchy because of the statistical prevalence of men proposing to women.

[pnwmom]

113. Regardless of the genders, I don't think anyone should tag onto an event like this

with a marriage proposal.

The other proposal I heard of at the Olympics involved an athlete who had just lost -- not someone who was on the stage taking pictures right after being a medalist. That was different because it didn't interrupt anyone else -- or send a message to girls that a marriage proposal is a "prize" bigger than an Olympic medal.

[Squinch]

169. So say after the next men's event, a woman goes up on the stage while the three

winners are alone on the stage and still being lauded and photos of the winners are still being taken.

She catches the attention of the gathered press, taking attention off the athletes. She announces that she has been dating one of the athletes, and she really, really has a thing for him, and isn't that great. Is that acceptable?

[AtheistCrusader]

176. Strawman.

That is not what happened in this case. Your first paragraph does not match the video of the actual event in any particular at all.

Same variables as what actually happened at the Olympiad, but switch the genders in any possible combination; totally acceptable to me.

[Squinch]

190. Not a strawman. It's the exact same scenario.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

194. Not even close. nt

[Squinch]

198. Exactly the same.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

201. So Qin Kai walked up in the very middle of the picture taking...

.....and announced to everyone that he was dating He Zi and that he "really, really liked her"?

What exactly were you watching?

[Squinch]

210. Essentially, yes.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

216. Essentially? Exact same thing? Or.....

.....throwing out some weird hyperbole and claiming it's the exact same thing?

[AtheistCrusader]

229. In reality, not at all.

[AtheistCrusader]

228. Again, does not match the video of the actual event.

[redgreenandblue]

115. Chinese girls will be fine without being lectured by Western women on what to be offended by.

I'm guessing you did not ask the gold winner whether she had a problem with this.

[pnwmom]

119. I'm not blaming the young woman -- she was surprised by it. It's the young man who

intruded on the win being celebrated by the three young women.

And this cultural phenomenon is not particular to China; it's just as common in the US.

[BooScout]

123. They are women. Nuff said.

[redgreenandblue]

124. The OP was concerned about "what message this sends to girls".

And I pointed out the ethnocentrism going on here.

Just perhaps, the Chinese evaluate these things a little differently than what Americans are used to.

[BooScout]

126. Yea....they have a history of murdering female babies in China...

Perhaps they need to change the way they think about 'girls'.

[redgreenandblue]

127. Yes. The Chinese need a lesson in their own history by Americans.

I'm sure the athlete who was proposed to will appreciate being informed that she need to be offended.

[pnwmom]

139. You are focused on the one athlete but there were two others whose moment onstage,

while photos were still being taken, was interrupted.

[pnwmom]

138. It isn't ethnocentric. This is a fad in the US, also. And the AP that carried the story about

the ring being a "prize" bigger than a medal is a US outlet.

[Euphoria]

129. K and R

[Odin2005]

132. Maybe you should ask HER opinion before getting all outraged?

[pnwmom]

136. She's not the only one involved. There were two other women, the gold and bronze winners,

who had their Olympic moments interrupted -- and a whole audience of girls and young women who were sent the message by the media that the engagement ring was a "prize" that was "bigger" than an Olympic medal.

[PoutrageFatigue]

145. Except they didn't. They'd received their medals, heard the anthems and left the podium.

But other than that you are spot on.

And yes, the "message" that a commitment to a lifetime of love and support is a much bigger "prize" than a frigging medal is absolutely correct.

[pnwmom]

146. They were still on the stage having group photos taken.

And an engagement ring isn't a prize. It's a sign of a commitment going forward, not a recognition of an achievement that just took place. And it isn't comparable to an Olympic medal. Almost anyone can get one and most do, eventually.


http://www.independent.ie/style/weddings/olympic-diver-gets-proposed-to-during-medal-ceremony-after-winning-silver-at-rio-34966876.html

Olympic diver gets proposed to during medal ceremony after winning silver at Rio

Olympic diver He Zi was stunned to tears when her boyfriend and teammate Qin Kai proposed to her during the Olympics medal ceremony.

[PoutrageFatigue]

154. Watch.The.Video.

They were being ushered off by an official in a white jacket when he got her to stop.

Medals awarded. Anthem played. Photos taken. Being led back to the dressing rooms.

The ceremony was over.

[jmg257]

158. Wait - so he did NOT get into the middle of the ceremony to propose? It was over?

And the 2 other girls were OK with it besides?

[PoutrageFatigue]

168. Apparently so...

...but the facts be damned, we must express our righteous poutrage...

[pnwmom]

200. The women were still on the stage, posing together for photos, when he interrupted.

And what would you expect the two other medalists to say? They said polite, gracious things -- as they were expected to do. If either of them were bothered, they wouldn't say so. Women are trained to be polite and supportive, and they were.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

203. Again: They were done with the photos. Take a look at the video.

It's not an extensive 20 minute photo shoot. It's a brief snapshot of the three medalists that takes about 10 seconds.

That was already done with. I don't know why you don't understand that.

[jmg257]

227. Ha - you should meet my wife - she must have missed that class.

These 2 look fine, despite what they may be thinking.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

248. LOL, yeah you know men are such assholes and all.....

Trust me, you are revealing far more about yourself here....

[pnwmom]

249. You are revealing YOURSELF. I made no generalized comments about men. Just about the actions

of the one man, and of the media people who reported the engagement ring as a "prize" bigger than an Olympic medal.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

254. "Women are trained to be polite and supportive"

The implication is that men Olympians wouldn't have tolerated it and what??? exactly, beaten someone up?

[pnwmom]

257. No, you are the one drawing that implication, not me. n/t

[Loki Liesmith]

183. OWNED

[Blue_Tires]

149. I'm not big on attention-whoring public proposals in sports anyway

But having said that, I'm not going to pretend to know the dynamics of their relationship and how much they love each other... If He Zi is okay with it, I'm not going to complain...

[Taitertots]

150. *sigh*. Now you're just trying to pee in our corn flakes

This isn't a gender issue.

[bigwillq]

152. How sweet. All the best to them. (nt)

[catbyte]

157. Ew. I haven't been following the Olympics very closely, but I did see a clip of this and

was a little turned off. I'm even more turned off by the idiotic AP article. Sheesh. I'm not anti romance, but geez, come on. An engagement ring should not be "a bigger prize" than a medal that she's worked for since she was a toddler.

[kiva]

166. He took her moment - and that of the other two medal winners

and turned it into his own. And the fact that the comments here are largely split by gender should be a message to men who think this is "romantic" or "normal"...not really so much.

[pnwmom]

185. I have the same impression that you do --

that the comments here are split by gender. Maybe a lot of men have made public proposals that they think all women should be grateful for?

[Squinch]

170. Seems like the opinions are either for or strongly against, and the division is along clear

gender lines.

Most of the women think it's a creepy thunder stealing.

Most of the men think everyone should be fine with it.

It's those men who see the problem with it that give me hope.

[pnwmom]

186. Thanks, I think you've nailed it.

I wonder if any men have noticed this split, and thought about it?

[Squinch]

193. The idea is very deeply ingrained that approval or affection from men or a man

should be valued higher than anything else by women in all circumstances.

This is a very clear illustration of how unconsidered that opinion is.

[MicaelS]

258. I'm a man and I make no apologies for my position.

We men are often criticized for not expressing our feelings enough and when we do express them, we get shit on for doing so, if it is not in the "approved" manner.

Just saw a news piece on NBC evening news about there being multiple examples of athletes at the Olympics getting engaged.

I also think those opposed to public marriage proposals are a bunch of sourpusses , regardless of their gender. Some people can get offended by anything.

[Squinch]

261. Well, bully for you.

[bullwinkle428]

177. Happened again!! Although slightly different circumstances...

http://www.nbcolympics.com/video/triple-jump-medalist-will-claye-proposes-girlfriend?utm_network=facebook&utm_post=6164913&utm_source=FB%20-%20NBC%20Sports&utm_tags=srm%5Bshort%20video%2Colympics%5D

[Tommy_Carcetti]

180. Well he's just subjugating her and corralling people into his lifestyle choices and blah blah blah.

[pnwmom]

195. Completely different circumstances . He didn't jump on stage and get in the middle

of three women celebrating their Olympic achievement.

He was the one who won a medal himself and he went to his girlfriend to propose afterwards.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

199. Differences aside, that didn't happen in this instance, either.

You're acting as though he stormed the stage in the middle of the ceremony and proposed on the medal stand.

The guy stood off to the side while they were getting their pictures taken, and once that was over and the ceremony was over, he came up to his girlfriend and proposed.

[pnwmom]

202. They were still getting their picture taken when he went on the stage and stood with them.

He could have waited till everyone dispersed but he didn't.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

204. No. They weren't.

The video clearly shows they had finished with the pictures.

[pnwmom]

208. No it doesn't. The photographers were still taking pictures of the women when he turned up, and the

photographers continued to shoot.

If the women had dispersed, the photographers would have been gone, too. But he wanted the cameras to capture his moment, so he hopped on the stage when the photographers were still taking pictures.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

212. He was to the side. He wasn't in the shot.

I don't see him anywhere in the shot, and this is the picture that was taken:





He stood to the side until they were done taking the pictures, and then as they left the stage, they pulled her back.

[pnwmom]

224. Multiple shots were being taken by multiple cameras. This one doesn't show him. n/t

[Tommy_Carcetti]

233. There was press all around the stage and they took pictures.

Some showed him off to the side waiting for the ceremony to end.

But the press taking pictures is not part of the Olympic Ceremony. That's just the press being the press and taking pictures.

They take one brief official picture of the three winners. He waited until that (and by the same virtue, the ceremony) was done before approaching her. That's the long and the short of it.

[Squinch]

213. The ceremony WAS still happening, but aside from that, what is EVERYONE talking about?

How well those three women did?

Well...no.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

218. Actually I watched the event on TV the night before and didn't know about the proposal until....

...the next day when the OP posted the ridiculous piece bemoaning this non-issue.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

179. The basic takeaway:

There are two true things to be said:

1. The sentence in the AP story was poorly worded. "Bigger prize" was somewhat demeaning of her accomplishments. They should have written something to the effect of "another prize" or "another big moment" or something like that.

2. Public proposals are arguably cheesy.

Of course, those two things alone don't write an article. So the person who wrote the Salon piece had to go on and on about how she doesn't want to be corralled into other people's lifestyle choices and also how dare her boyfriend come in and steal the moment from her and the two other medalists and how her boyfriend was subjugating her and all women and her moment.....honestly, it just makes the author sound like a bitter, insufferable grouch.

He Zi was the second greatest diver in the world at her event. No one and nothing is going to take that fact away. The fact that her boyfriend of six years who is also an Olympic diver came up right after the ceremony and proposed to her is not going to take that fact away. Seriously, people.

And no, unless I hear otherwise from the Gold or Bronze medalists, nothing was taken away from them. You win an event like that, and you're just in a glowing dream state. I remembered after participating in my first open water swimming event, and while I didn't win it, I had a much better time than I ever anticipated and I came out of the water beaming. I honestly couldn't tell you anything about how any of the other competitors were reacting or celebrating or what they were saying. I was just proud of my accomplishments and I had earned that pride.

I'm sorry, but this is all just so silly to get worked up over nothing.

[Loki Liesmith]

182. Was He Zi upset?

If not, move on.

[pnwmom]

184. She wasn't the only one. What about the gold and bronze medal winners whose moment onstage

was eclipsed by the proposal?

And even if all of them were fine with it, other people can still disagree with the media message that came with the story -- an engagement ring was a bigger "prize" than an Olympic world medal.

[Loki Liesmith]

207. The gold and bronze winners don't need to be infantilized

by others presuming their level of outrage. They are more than capable of speaking for themselves.

As for the press coverage, that's fairly typical and definitely worthy of some criticism, imo. However I would anticipate that most non-sociopaths value an expression of affection from a loved one more than a lump of metal from a corrupt international drug and entertainment cartel.

[pnwmom]

209. I doubt if most Olympians agree their medal comes from "a corrupt international drug and

entertainment cartel."

[Squinch]

215. And I would anticipate that most non-sociopaths would like their loved ones to

celebrate goals that took them a lifetime to achieve without those loved ones needing to take the attention of the moment for themselves.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

217. Well, they did seem devastated by it.

[Squinch]

219. Oh, look! Three medal winners on the stage! What is that photo about? Their great

athletic performance?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

220. You do know that this was a press photo taken after the ceremony, right?

You know that's not the official Olympic medalist photo.

Tell me you know that fact.

[Squinch]

221. Yes, I know, but it was supposed to be a press photo about the winners, wasn't it?

Tell me you know that fact.

And again, what is the subject of that press photo about those three Olympic winners? Is it all about their accomplishments?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

222. I'm sorry, did someone strip those women of their medals?

Did they retroactively cancel the results of the diving performance and replace it with a engagement shower?

Or are these women going to have their names in the record books of Olympic winners as long as they keep records on those things? And they'll have those medals proudly displayed for the rest of their lives.

Honestly, it was a silly human interest story and the press took notice. Exactly why some people need to turn it into some scandalous controversy and damnable thing, I have no clue.

[pnwmom]

225. Someone eclipsed their moment in the sun with their own little scene. n/t

[Squinch]

226. Again, that press photo about the three olympic winners - what was it about?

Was it a photo about three women who are better at diving than anyone else in the world? Or is it about something else?

No one is turning it into a scandalous controversy, unless you are. What happened here is simply that someone voiced the opinion that the man stole the athletes' thunder and made their moment about him.

Which he did. As that photo shows.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

230. They don't keep Olympic records as to who gets engaged at the games.

They do keep Olympic records as to who wins the Gold, Silver and Bronze in each event in each Games.

50 years from now, He Zi will still have the Olympic Silver Medal she won in 2016, regardless of the fact of whether she ultimately marries Qin Kai.

The Gold and Bronze winners will likewise always have their medals and their names in the books.

That's pretty much the long and the short of it in terms of the legacy of her accomplishments.

There's no real story here. No one got their accomplishments taken away. Relax.

[Squinch]

260. Except in that moment when their accomplishment was celebrated, someone else

made it about himself instead of their accomplishment.

And you are the one who should relax. Or at least try to be rational.

[Shankapotomus]

206. A lot of assumptions are being made in this thread on both sides

When sometimes what's pushing people to behave is not necessarily their own will but cultural conventions.

Especially when it comes to relationships people can almost fall into a trance-like state where they just obey conventional programming. After all, if tradition says that your the one that is supposed to propose the pressure to have your proposal accepted might drive someone make the attempt at the moment the woman is most happy.

So maybe it wasn't entitlement that caused the BF to ask at that moment but the pressure of potentially being rejected.

Patriarchy messes up everybody, including men, and perhaps we all need to be more sensitive to that instead of jumping down someone's throat all the time.

Stealing someone's thunder is a human thing, not necessarily a male only behavior.

[Egnever]

223. This is exactly the sort of shit

That makes me roll my eyes at some feminists

[Marr]

252. +1

Reaching so very far to be offended.

[Squinch]

262. I'm sure those feminists are devastated by your opinion.

[Egnever]

264. Clearly not cause they keep doing stupid shit like this

It's pretty clear from the responses on this thread it isn't just me.

Batshit crazy is pretty easy to spot.

The only thing that really sucks is they put real feminists in a bad light.

[PoutrageFatigue]

270. FTW...

[Squinch]

271. Again, your opinion is everything.

[Odin2005]

269. This is the sort of nonsense the lable "SJW" was used for before it was turned into a RW slur.

[Squinch]

275. The lable (sic) SJW was never used before it was a RW slur. It's a tell.

[NuclearDem]

276. I mean, halfway around the world some nine-year-old girl who was never allowed to go to school

just had her vagina mutilated and is either going to be gang-raped, sold into prostitution, or married off to some pervert in his seventies, but we're more concerned with the possible, maybe sexism of the timing of a public marriage proposal between two consenting adults.

This first world feminism bullshit is just sickening.

[closeupready]

235. Yawn.

[lunatica]

236. It was a proposal like no other ever in history

KUDOS are in order, not "Shame, shame, shame!"

[Tommy_Carcetti]

237. He's an Olympic diver. She's an Olympic diver.

They got engaged at the Olympics. The general cheesiness of public proposals aside, you can't say it doesn't make sense.

I'll also add that He Zi has two prior Olympic medals, including a Gold, and none of those other medal ceremonies involved getting proposed to. So for those who claim Qin Kai ruined her one and only moment of Olympic glory by his blatant, selfish, sociopathic misogyny....yeah, not really.

[BooScout]

246. You do understand two other women were on that podium....

Receiving their medals don't you?

I'm happy for them that they're engaged. But the timing was not considerate of others who were involved.

Your accusations regarding 'sociopathic misogyny' allegations by those of us whose opinions differ from you are out of order.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

247. See Post 215. Not my words.

As for the two other medalists, they received their medals and the ceremony was over and done with when he proposed. From the looks of it, I don't think they could have cared any less. I'm pretty sure the thrill of winning an Olympic medal was first and foremost on their mind.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

242. Oh no, more patriarchal upstaging of women by men with a marriage proposal!!!

Oh wait, both the proposer and proposee are women! All good then!

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/08/09/sport/marriage-proposal-olympics-brazil/

(CNN)She might not have won an Olympic medal. But rugby player Isadora Cerullo had already won girlfriend Marjorie Enya's heart when she accepted her marriage proposal in Rio de Janeiro Monday.
Cerullo, 25, was part of the Brazilian women's team which finished ninth place in the first-ever Olympic rugby sevens event.

After watching the final between Australia and New Zealand, Enya, a manager at the stadium, took to the pitch for a special announcement of her own.

[pnwmom]

243. Not at all the same. The woman proposed-to wasn't approached onstage after getting a medal,

while standing there with two other medalists.

She was proposed to after her team finished 9th place in a game. So no stealing-of-thunder was involved.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

245. As I said.....ALL GOOD WINK WINK

[Marr]

250. Seriously, this is just sadly bitter.

[appleannie1]

251. So, women are dishonest before some male asks them to marry them? I never could understand

the term "made an honest woman out of her". I never realized I was a liar and a thief until I got married.

I am of the opinion also that asking someone to marry you should be a personal thing. You really put a woman on the spot if you do it in front of a crowd. It is almost as if you are afraid she will say no unless you almost force her to say yes.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

255. You'll have to ask Salon's Mary Elizabeth Williams what she meant

They're the ones outraged by all of this upstaging sexism, yet still felt the need to toss in a backhanded slap to this poor put upon woman....

[REP]

256. Mark this date, because we agree on something! :-)

Actually, I do agree with you rather often, and am 100% on this.

[still_one]

259. A few days ago an NBC announcer threw out some sexist implication

When good a ole NBC announcer said, "The man responsible': NBC broadcaster draws ire after crediting world record to swimmer’s husband"

www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2016/08/07/the-man-responsible-nbc-broadcaster-draws-ire-after-crediting-world-record-to-swimmers-husband/

[davidn3600]

265. Yeah but before that comment, the swimmer herself had credited her husband for her success

...in a previous interview.

So that's why the commentator went that way.

[melman]

266. You'd think people never watched the Olympics before

The 'coach story' is a standard part of the broadcast. They always do that!