McConnell isn't a turtle. He's a...

[El Supremo]

Weasel!

[badhair77]

1. I was thinking the same thing!

[brewens]

2. He's a turtlehead.

"A loaf of shit that is beginning to poke out of your ass prior to reaching a toilet. Turtleheads are generally dealt with using careful restriction of the sphincter muscles until you can make it to a toilet. You must squeeze firmly enough to prevent the shit loaf from further sliding out of the ass, but not so firmly that you chop the turtlehead off, or smash it with your ass cheeks creating an undesirable mess."

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=turtlehead

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Ewww.

Also,

[El Supremo]

5. I have those every so often.

Now I know what to call them.

[brewens]

6. Also known as "prairie doggin'". n/t

[MLAA]

3. He's a domestic terrorist cheerleader.

[Ferrets are Cool]

7. Weasels and ferrets are great creatures. McTurtle is

cowshit on the bottom of your boots.

[Solly Mack]

8. He's a vile, corrupt, and bumptious self-satisfied configuration of cowardice and pomposity.