Emotional Obama Tearfully Thanks Trump for Granting Him Citizenship--witnessed by Andy Borowitz

[Mira]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling this “the greatest day of my life,” a visibly moved Barack Obama held a news conference on Friday to thank Donald Trump for granting him U.S. citizenship.

“The issue of whether or not I was a U.S. citizen has been a dark cloud over my existence for as long as I can remember,” a tearful Obama told the press corps. “Only one man had the courage, wisdom, and doggedness to make that cloud go away: Donald J. Trump.”

The President, who had to halt several times during his remarks to compose himself, praised the Republican Presidential nominee for “never giving up” in his quest to prove that Obama was born in the U.S.

“A weaker man would have said, ‘I don’t need this in my life,’ but Donald Trump was always there for me,” the President said. “Over the past five years, barely a day went by when he didn’t call me and say, ‘Barack, I don’t care what a bunch of crackpots say. You were born here, and I’m going to prove it once and for all.’”

The President said he planned to spend the day celebrating his U.S. citizenship with his family. “It’s great to be an American, at last,” he said.



www.borowitzreport.com

[bmstee01]

1. Isn't this picture from his comments on Sandyhook?

If it is I wish they wouldn't use it. No judgement if so. We all cross lines sometimes.

[malaise]

3. Satire is importantI have no problem with it

[Mira]

4. Yes, he was talking about gun violence in general

when this photo was taken.
I was a bit taken aback, but on reflection of what the birther movement has done to him and the shoring up of racism it has provided to this country I decided it was not an unworthy use of it.

[malaise]

2. Brilliant

[smirkymonkey]

5. +1000