Garrison Keillor: Life after the election

[babylonsister]

Garrison Keillor: Life after the election

Garrison Keillor Updated 12:58 pm, Tuesday, November 15, 2016


It was gratifying that after Wisconsin voted him into the presidency, the gentleman did not talk about putting Hillary in prison. That was a nice surprise. And when he met with Obama of Kenya, the white sahib was well-behaved, listened to what the African had to say, did not interrupt or call him stupid, and in fact thanked the alien for meeting with him. He did a good impersonation of modesty.

Say what you will, the man is flexible. The wall on the border, his reliable applause line this past year, has been downgraded to a fence in some places and may eventually turn into a line of orange highway cones. The 11 million deportees are down to two or three. Hillary may be let off with an ankle bracelet.

While he's making alterations, he should consider getting a presidential hairdo rather than the hair of a hotel lounge pianist in 1959. It's distracting to watch a man talk about national security, looking like he may suddenly burst into "Volare."A makeover would take about 15 minutes max. And might a speech therapist try to smooth out the Tony Soprano accent and give him a presidential voice like Nixon's or Reagan's and cut out those irritating repetitions for emphasis -- do you know what I mean? Am I right? Am I right? You know I'm right. You better believe I'm right.

He will never be my president because he doesn't read books, can't write more than a sentence or two at a time, has no strong loyalties beyond himself, is more insular than any New Yorker I ever knew, and because I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him. This sets him apart from other politicians. The disaffected white blue-collar workers elected a Fifth Avenue tycoon to rescue them from the elitists -- fine, I get that -- but they could've chosen a better tycoon. One who served in the military or attends church or reads history, loves opera, sails a boat -- something -- anything -- raises llamas, plays the oboe, runs a 5K race now and then, has close friends from childhood. I look at him and there's nothing there.

more...

http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Garrison-Keillor-Life-after-the-election-10616258.php

[cwydro]

1. Spot on.

K and r.

[livetohike]

2. K&R

[handmade34]

3. my sentiments as well...

"I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him"

life does go on, and I too have people I love that make it bearable but damn... do we have to do this all over again??

[DinahMoeHum]

4. Re Trump: "No foundation. All the way down the line"

- sayeth William Saroyan, from the play The Time Of Your Life

[gademocrat7]

5. K&R!

[bigtree]

6. nice article

...but I don't think we should be sanguine about what Trump will do as president. He's a sociopath and a megalomaniac.

Also, it remains to be seen just how radical his radical cabinet will be on America. That's going to define him more than whether his rhetoric has moderated. I know Garrison is tongue in cheek here, but if Trump does moderate, it will be because we pressure him, not because it's in his nature.

[csziggy]

17. Keillor had an interesting take on the election in a previous column

<SNIP>

Alas for the Trump voters, the disasters he will bring on this country will fall more heavily on them than anyone else. The uneducated white males who elected him are the vulnerable ones and they will not like what happens next.

To all the patronizing b.s. we've read about Trump expressing the white working class's displacement and loss of the American Dream, I say, "Feh!" -- go put your head under cold water. Resentment is no excuse for bald-faced stupidity. America is still the land where the waitress' kids can grow up to become physicists and novelists and pediatricians, but it helps a lot if the waitress and her husband encourage good habits and the ambition to use your God-given talents and the kids aren't plugged into electronics day and night. Whooping it up for the candidate of cruelty and ignorance does less than nothing for your kids.

We liberal elitists are now completely in the clear. The government is in Republican hands. Let them deal with him. Democrats can spend four years raising heirloom tomatoes, meditating, reading Jane Austen, traveling around the country, tasting artisan beers, and let the Republicans build the wall and carry on the trade war with China and deport the undocumented and deal with opioids and we Democrats can go for a long brisk walk and smell the roses.
http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Garrison-Keillor-Done-Over-He-s-here-Goodbye-10604062.php

[bigtree]

20. I'm a huge fan of Garrison

...but I think this is a crisis.

I hate to say this, in response to what is more humor than analysis, but people who have less to lose are more comfortable talking like he is here.

[spanone]

7. i'm with garrrison

[BREMPRO]

8. feeling it from GK, not looking forward to the death of wisdom and wit from the white house

instead we will be served bluster, self-aggrandizement and defensive lashes for.. hopefully less than 4 years..

[Roland99]

9. There's no "there" there

perfect summation of that narcissistic buffoon.

Garrison Keillor is a national treasure.

[Nitram]

10. Wow, Garrison, you nailed it! Soem of the most delicious sarcasm I've ever read!

And a wonderful example of telling truth to power. Garrison will show us the way.

[narnian60]

12. I agree.

[DesertRat]

11. Well said. k&r

[cilla4progress]

13. I know

if his presidency is as joyless and remote as his last days on the campaign trail...

he will NEVER be my president under any circumstances.

[annabanana]

14. "It's distracting to watch a man talk about national security, looking like

he may suddenly burst into "Volare."

[smirkymonkey]

15. I especially loved that line too!

"He should consider getting a presidential hairdo rather than the hair of a hotel lounge pianist in 1959."

[JudyM]

23. Best line ever.

[red dog 1]

16. K&R

Garrison Keillor for President in 2020?

(He has as much political experience as Trump does).

I love the line about the Tony Soprano accent.

[2naSalit]

18. K&R!!!!

[Equinox Moon]

19. I've met Garrison

He is a funny guy. His personal car is even funny. The driver's side mirror is purposely broken so it appears to just be hanging there and he had someone skillfully paint spilled coffee splashes down the drivers-side door, on the outside so everyone can see it.

[ailsagirl]

21. More Keillor

"He will never be my president because he doesn't read books, can't write more than a sentence or two at a time, has no strong loyalties beyond himself, is more insular than any New Yorker I ever knew, and because I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him."

[KT2000]

22. hope they don't spring

for a new presidential portrait - we want the one with the comb over and the tennis outfit that is hanging in the bar in Florida. Future generations must know what really happened in 2016.

[nolabear]

24. AMEN. I'm educated, liberal, globally aware and proud of it.

FUCK Trump and the fools he rode in on.

[lonestarnot]

25. Hallow shell of an orange yam ass hat that dumpster.

[Sunny05]

26. Thank you for posting!

I started and next-to-last ended this thing feeling saddened. But I burst out laughing in the middle, starting with the line of orange highway cones (chuckling again even as I type it!) and then through the thought of bursting into song with Volare ... well, okay, I cringed inside at that thought but still laughed ... and ... and ... hoo boy. I smiled again even after feeling saddened again at the end, though.

I read something about the orange one's hair and the inauguration. Wish I had the link or even remembered which site it was on. Anyway, the author was wondering how "tud" (more below) will handle inauguration (unless the weather is unusually urine-colored-helmet-style-flap-cover friendly that day). My guesses: He'll either don a russian winter hat or it will be held indoors (only after "tud" threw tantrums for that).

But I had not associated the urine-colored weave/helmet whatever flap cover with the time frame when someone might burst into song with Volare -- until now. Until Garrison Keillor.

- - - - -
About "tud" ... That is one of many code words from a thread started by boston bean (bostonbean .. one or two words?) about whether we would code for trump like DU did with * for W. I liked all the suggestions. Just trying one out. TUD = That Unscrupulous Deadbeat. And I think it sounds so dufus-y. TUD was suggested by DUer who had family who had done work for/with trump somehow. Many good suggestions on that thread. I encouraged boston bean to take survey.

And yes, the orange one and cheeto were suggestions. All good.

[tblue37]

28. I saw "Tangeranus" in a DU post a couple of days ago. nt

[Freddie]

29. TUD - I like it!

Also sounds real close to "turd"

[mountain grammy]

27. K&R

[burrowowl]

30. K&R!!!!!!

[JI7]

31. and how much of a problem is because people don't read as much anymore ? just short , soundbytes

like twitter. screaming talking heads on cable news.

but how about in depth newspaper and magazine articles ? or a novel ?

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

32. "I don't see anything admirable or honorable about him."

Agree 100 %. But I don't see how anyone "gets" why

blue-collar workers elected a Fifth Avenue tycoon to rescue them from the elitists.

My god, the brainwashing must have been masterful!