Christmas and wanting

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

This time of year my family starts asking the questions. What do you want for Christmas? What do you think the kids want for Christmas? I'm always kind of annoyed with these questions. Why do I have to want something? I really want nothing from them other than to have a pleasant visit. I hate racking my brain to think of what everyone might want for Christmas. I wish Christmas didn't have to be such a big production. I haven't made any plans to buy my kids anything yet and the grandparents want me to tell them what to buy. First world problems, right? All the materialism really does bother me though. I feel like we spend a lot of time trying to get rid of crap from our house and then Christmas comes along and we have a whole bunch more crap. I hate shopping. I hate feeling obligated to buy gifts for all these people we know because they might get us a gift when I would rather save the money because our bank account is kind of low. Anyhow, I thought it would be nice to bitch about something else other than Trump for a change of pace. Is anyone else feeling some stress about Christmas?

[Donkees]

1. Celebrate Winter Solstice and just give everyone a log :)

[PoliticAverse]

8. A cheese log!...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1157&pid=61935

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

10. Wow... I didn't think it was possible to write that much about cheese balls.

I couldn't finish reading it. My attention span for cheese balls is pretty low.

[rug]

12. Cooking & Baking tends to get carried away with cheese balls.

[PoliticAverse]

14. Some things are for eating, others are for reading. n/t

[Kilgore]

26. And I didn't know cheese had balls!!

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

29. Christmas cheese does

Christmas all about balls. Cheese balls, ornament balls, kissing balls (that's a thing too :laughing .

[Donkees]

11. Even a Chocolate Log!

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

20. Chocolate log

I hate to see what I'd get if I asked for one of those.

[Control-Z]

30. Damn, if that didn't look like another kind of log

at first glance on my phone.

[Guilded Lilly]

51. Love it!

[malaise]

2. We differ

If they ask I tell them - nothing too expensive but I'm sure there are things you'd like to replace - sheets, towels, socks, kitchen and bathroom stuff. I'm getting a nice bathroom set and a new handbag from siblings who asked me what I want,

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

3. I will go buy myself something when I need it.

It seem have to give everyone instructions on what to buy every year. It annoys me I get that job. That's what I get for being the woman of the household.

[malaise]

5. People ask because they know that folks return stuff they don't want

I love the family part of Christmas - we try to give what people say they want or need.

It's more fun that buying it for myself

[Beartracks]

4. "Trump seeks law requiring 'Merry Christmas' greeting"!

See, we can MAKE this a bitch session about Trump!




Sorry...


===========

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

7. LOL!

Does it count if you say something like "Merry Christmas, asshole"? As long as you say the "Merry Christmas" part, I think it should count.

[Beartracks]

15. Merry Christmas, dumbasses.

"To All My Facebook Friends Who Voted for this Buffoon..."

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

22. That's the Christmas spirit :) n/t

[csziggy]

6. That's why my family quit gifts for adults in 2001

And my husband's family draws names so each adult gets one gift. The kids under 18 do get presents, money or gift certificates (as they get in their teens gift certificates or money are more welcome). We're at the point where we buy books for the little ones. Last year his family decided gift certificates are it for all adults.

With my husband in the hospital last week and still under the weather, I am not buying anything. I'm sending a check for the in laws to cash and distribute the money to the adults we drew last year and for the parents of the kids to take them to a bookstore.

I only give to friends who are extremely close - it's down to one family that we do that for and usually we give them a gift certificate to a restaurant we know they like. This year they will understand if they don't get anything.

My present this year is my husband surviving a burst appendix. That is plenty for me.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

9. That's nice.

My family is not all that organized. We don't all get together to have Christmas together ever. Instead, we have to take the kids to like 3 or 4 different Christmas gatherings. This is because my husband's parents and my parents are all divorced and want nothing to do with each other but they all still want to see the grand kids... just at separate times.

[csziggy]

13. It used to be we'd spend one holiday with each family

Usually Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. Now that our parent's grandchildren are having children it's fallen apart and the get togethers are not as regular. It works better for the siblings with children to have their own holidays and the rest of us do what we can for the holidays

Since my Dad's death my family has fragmented so there is little celebration there. My older sister has a cookout with friends of hers that are either also childless or whose children are not local to them. Last year we went to that and took my Mom. That was the plan for this year but our entire holiday season is shot to hell so we're not going anywhere or planning anything special.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

17. Maybe you'll have a relaxing holiday this year

Not going anywhere or planning anything special sounds like it could be relaxing.

[csziggy]

21. It will be good to just relax

Even without the election this year has sucked. Right at the end of last year my MIL went into the hospital and spent weeks in ICU, almost two months in the hospital, months in a nursing home, and is finally recovering at home. My husband spent most of the year spending more than half his time with his family and helping to watch out for her. My Mom's Alzheimer's is getting worse so I've effectively lost her. She is still physically healthy but can't remember the beginning of a sentence so conversation is impossible.

The final thing was my husband's appendix bursting Thanksgiving morning. He's better, but we are not traveling or having big festive dinners for a while.

Relaxing at home together will be wonderful.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

28. I hope you have a relaxing Christmas this year then.

Last edited Fri Dec 9, 2016, 11:21 PM - Edit history (1)

You deserve it.

[csziggy]

33. Thanks - and you try to have a good holiday season, too

[Rorey]

37. Sounds like a rough year all the way around

I'm glad your husband is better. Quiet sounds nice after that kind of year.

[pinboy3niner]

16. When I was younger, it was fun to find or make just the right gifts for people

When I was older, I sent friends a cartoon book I made, with a personalized cover for each individual or couple. That took lots of hours at Kinko's and lots of Wite-Out. And for friends who had a dog, I baked bone-shaped dog biscuits with red and green food coloring and packed them in cookie tins. I even made low-fat biscuits for the dogs who were not so svelte.

Now it's just another day, unless I have a chance to volunteer for the holiday meal at our local food bank.

Though I do enjoy the seasonal bargains on standing rib roast, which I'll carve into steaks for grilling after Christmas.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

19. Volunteering at food bank sounds like a great thing to do

I will have to do that one these Christmases when the kids are older.

[pinboy3niner]

24. If the kids aren't TOO young, it can be a family activity. nt

[Rorey]

40. Aw, so sweet to remember the canines.

Especially so sweet taking the time to make them home made treats. Maybe I'll do that for my granddogs. Thanks for the great idea!

The cartoon books also sound lovely and fun. It's refreshing to hear about someone's thoughtful acts when we all we seem to see this time of year is crass commercialism.

[femmocrat]

18. I start stressing out at Halloween every year.

I know what's coming and it all drives me crazy. Every year we say we will cut back, and we end up with the same big deal on Christmas. Now there are grandchildren to buy for, too. It's all too much. I wish they would all start their own family traditions and not depend on me anymore. I would love to go to someone else's house for Christmas.

This year is more depressing than usual because I'm still going through the seven stages of grief since Nov. 9. I just can't get into the "holiday spirit" whatever that is. Reminds me a lot of 2000.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

25. Feel the same way

Every year I want to cut back on Christmas spending and I end up spending just as much, maybe more. I'm hopeful I can actually spend less this year, I'm just afraid I will piss people off by not spending enough on them. That's what propels me to buy every year, just not wanting to upset anyone.

[Rorey]

41. I feel for you, femmocrat

Maybe you could start a new tradition this year. Put the kids' names in a hat a draw one out to see who will be hosting next year's festivities. Tell them it's time for them to enjoy some of that "fun".

[femmocrat]

45. I wish!

I nominate my DIL! LOL (Like that's going to happen.)

Thanks , Rorey.

[Rorey]

46. Are you not particularly fond of her? LOL

I've got one DIL and one on the way (though the wedding could be a ways off), and I absolutely adore them both. I feel very lucky. I'm not saying my kids have always made good choices, but these two women are awesome!

[femmocrat]

50. No, that's not the reason. She is just next in line for the honor.

There is no one else to carry on. She is a wonderful mom and works full-time though.

[RB TexLa]

23. It's so easy to just say no

I tell family, friends, work, everyone no. No parties no traveling for anything no gifts to them or from them.

It's easy. I go to midnight mass on Christmas Eve and that's a private moment for me. After that, it's done. Christmas is no different than any other day.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

27. Good for you.

I'd like to get there at some point. Maybe when my kids are all grown up... but then maybe I'll have some grand kids. I'll probably feel differently about it then. I don't mind a few gifts. I just don't like the big ordeal about having to get something for everyone. I'd like to just get a few presents for my kids and that's it. I think I'll start will getting smaller gifts for the adults this year. Ween them off of my gifts.

[handmade34]

31. no gifts.

it has been years since our family decided- no gifts... we are all very happy with it... just get together and play in the snow, eat, listen to music, talk, go for a hike... no need for gifts... it is an unnecessary tradition foisted on us by commercial interests... get together, tell people you love and appreciate them, give hugs, play games life is much better without gifts at Christmas

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

32. I would like this much better

but I just can't see everyone else wanting to do it that way. I'm going to try reduced gifts as a start. I would prefer just spending time with family and friends over getting more things.

[Rorey]

47. Your Christmases sound lovely

One year on Christmas morning we got a call that my husband's uncle was not expected to live much longer. We altered our plans to go to a family event on my side of the family and hopped in the car and drove the 100+ miles to his house. He was home, but in a hospital bed which was set up in the living room of their little house. We got there right in the middle of gift opening. It was the sweetest thing I ever witnessed. The family had done a drawing of names, so everyone got one modest gift. Their family is big. They had seven adult kids who all had families. Someone would open their gift and then there would be talk about why the giver got it for the recipient. Someone would always be going over to their grandpa in his hospital bed to talk to him and give him a kiss. I felt like I was watching the best Hallmark/Lifetime movie ever. Your post about your Christmases reminded me of that special time. Thank you.

[Rorey]

34. Hatchimals for everyone!

I'm absolutely kidding, of course.

I'm not really stressing too much because we started toning it down years ago. My worst stress is my husband's incessant whining that he doesn't know what to get for me. He voted for trump, so the option of him pulling his head out of his ass would be an awesome gift. I married a career union member who has been a registered Democrat his entire adult life. Suffice it to say, this election has been hard on our marriage. Sorry, I guess my post turned into bitching about trump.

I saw part of a segment on one of the morning network shows (GMA, Today, etc.) about two young sisters who were auctioning off their Hatchimals for some charitable thing. I thought that was pretty cool. For anyone who isn't aware, Hatchimals are the hard-to-get hot item this year. They originally retailed for around $50 (I think) and now are going for hundreds. Ridiculous. Many parents seem to have forgotten that their children really will live through the disappointment of not getting everything they ask for for Christmas. I know this because I had to tell my kids "no" for quite a few years when their father was sick. He died when they were young adolescents, so times were rough for awhile. They survived not getting their every wish at Christmastime, and grew up to be productive adults. And they all voted for Hillary, so I guess I did something right.

[Zing Zing Zingbah]

35. First time I heard about Hatchimals was this morning on the radio

Local radio station is having a contest to win them. My kids don't ask for stuff at least. They don't see all the commercials that get them thinking about all the toys they could have. We only watch Netflix in our house so they see very little commercials. I also don't put decorations up until a few days before. I find the decorating is what gets my kids thinking about Christmas, so I avoid them obsessing about all month by putting off the decorating. I put up our artificial tree with decorations on it. Nothing too crazy.

I hope things will get better between you and your husband. That must be hard. I don't think anyone voted for Trump in my family. No one will own up to it if they did. Anyone vocal about politics in my family wanted Hillary to win.

[Rorey]

36. Good plan

Yes, it's those commercials that doom parents.

I have always enjoyed decorating for Christmas in the past, but this year I have done absolutely NO decorating. I'm just not in the mood. The husband and I still have nearly daily dissent over the election. I'm not going to get over it and just go back to life as usual. It was a travesty. Even after trump's atrocious cabinet picks so far, my husband STILL has hope that he's going to do okay. He doesn't have enough common sense to realize how horrible this is for our country. I'm not sure I have the patience to wait for things to play out so he can see what he voted for and appropriately repent.

Anyway, we didn't have Thanksgiving. My kids all have their own families and did things with the in-laws (with my absolute blessing). It eliminated the need for them to try to make it around to see all of the family. They were fine with it. I did make a small turkey for the jerk, even though I'm vegetarian. I did a terrible job on it. Didn't brine it. Overcooked it. Possibly on purpose. Husband said it was dry. Oops. I told him that I should probably not make one again because I have apparently lost my touch. The truth is that when something is done with anger in one's heart it probably isn't going to turn out well.

We'll likely do the usual Christmas brunch just so the family can get together for that. I'll probably do minimal decorating right before the day. So far the husband hasn't even mentioned that no decorating has been done. Maybe he knows why.

[mnhtnbb]

39. I haven't done any decorating, either. Only put out the kitchen Christmas towels

and Christmas towels in the guest bathroom. Nothing else. I'm debating climbing up in the attic this
morning to get out the door wreaths and a few things for the rest of the house. But I really have no interest.

[Rorey]

42. Well, I got the towels out, but....

They haven't made it to the towel racks yet. No interest here either.

[mnhtnbb]

43. you made me laugh.

thanks for that!

I suppose there is some consolation in knowing we aren't alone in not wanting to decorate.

On our way to dinner last night, my husband and I were commenting that it doesn't seem like as many houses
have outside lights this year as in the past. We live in a very blue town (Chapel Hill), though, so it's possible
we are seeing the effect of others feeling the way we do.

[Rorey]

48. Now that you mention it....

It seems like their aren't as many houses decorated in my town either.

[mnhtnbb]

38. I hear you. It was the worst when our kids were little.

Now they are adults. Several years ago one of them wanted nothing more to do with Christmas.
So we no longer have a family event. I've told my husband for years not to buy me anything.
This year he and I will have a short trip to NY for 3 days right after New Year's and that will be
our "Christmas" in place of presents.

I gave my youngest son (26 and a grad student) some cash to buy new clothes/upgrade his wardrobe.

I'm not even decorating for Christmas this year. So bummed about the future of the country after the election.
We had dinner with some friends--all of us are over 65--last night and one woman told me she doesn't care if she dies.
We've all lived through disappointing elections, but man, this one feels different. Very scary. And those feelings
are carrying over to the "holidays".

[Rorey]

44. I'm almost ashamed to admit it

But election night I actually said, "I don't even want to live in this world anymore." I understand your friend's feeling about not caring if she dies. I was in total meltdown. My dumbass husband (who voted for trump) actually had the audacity to think he should try to console me. Some of the words that came out of my mouth weren't too proper.

[mnhtnbb]

53. OMG. That has to be tough

having a husband who voted Trump. We have relatives who voted Trump, but I don't have to live in the same house with them.

I did end up doing some decorating today. Put the garland and decorations on the mantle and a few things around the living/dining area.
NOT doing the tree this year.

[mercuryblues]

49. I eliminated

the grand-parent question of what the kids want on the day they were born. We opened a savings account. A check for what you can afford will be nice. When they go to college, they will be thinking of you and want to do better to make you proud. It works for birthdays and Christmas. They usually buy a small item for the kids to open, but the check is the biggie.

Let your friends know that you will not be buying gifts and to please not give you any. You would prefer to spend time with them, lets go to lunch together instead or have a very informal get-together at our house. Sweat pants and t-shirts, Chinese take out.

I send my in-laws food from places like Omaha steak. I know it costs more than buying. I go online, order and they deliver. The upside is that it is not a gift that they have to find space for and dust every week. How many 80 year olds need another knick-knack, linen, shirt, dish, plaque etc.? They get an easy meal to prepare and enjoy.

[workinclasszero]

52. I will keep Christmas in my heart since Orange Hitler won the election

Not going out to buy presents. Going to withdraw from society as much as I can. I need to save money for cat food, you know?

I'm going to try to not to feed the republican Beast as much as I can.

I'm not going to pretend that life is not going to change radically for the worst for me and my family with Dump and the republicans at the controls.

Sorry to be such a downer but that's the way I feel about Christmas time now since the successful Russian coup has installed Trump and the republicans into total power.