Many white people, from the time they were kids, have been brainwashed by their parents and other influential white people in their lives that people who fail in the USA, the "greatest country on Earth", have only themselves to blame for not following a particular set of actions -- e.g., work hard, stay out of trouble, etc.
Individualism is often promoted to extremes, with people deemed "self made men" while ignoring the social and economic infrastructures that helped them along the way. It gets taken to such an extreme sometimes that many white people stop feeling empathy for others who struggle.
http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2010/04/neuroimage.html
In a rare neuroscience look at racial minorities, the study shows that African-Americans showed greater empathy for African-Americans facing adversity - in this case for victims of Hurricane Katrina - than Caucasians demonstrated for Caucasian-Americans in pain.
When their childhood instructions don't work out for them, it's not easy to cast them aside. Some of them will deem themselves failures (perhaps committing suicide) while others will look outward for explanations. Bottom line... they don't let go of their "rugged individualism" teachings very easily. Even if they receive various kinds of government aid, it's because they "earned it." It's almost criminal in their minds to get help otherwise!
The timing of events in this country didn't help matters. Many whites did well after WW2, but almost none of them understand how much this country benefited from pretty much every other industrial country being in shambles from bombings. It was a huge economic advantage for the USA. White people saw civil rights laws passed, women fighting for equal rights and other kinds of social upheavals in the 60's, around the same time that the post-WW2 "gravy train" of the 50's was vanishing.
Look at this "conservative narrative" and how it pretty much points to the 1950's as the ideal:
http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/08/21/in-the-magazine/trends-and-opinions/americas-painful-divide.html
Once upon a time, America was a shining beacon. Then liberals came along and erected an enormous federal bureaucracy that handcuffed the invisible hand of the free market. They subverted our traditional American values and opposed God and faith at every step of the way. … Instead of requiring that people work for a living, they siphoned money from hardworking Americans and gave it to Cadillac-driving drug addicts and welfare queens. … Instead of adhering to traditional American values of family, fidelity, and personal responsibility, they encouraged a feminist agenda that undermined traditional family roles. … Instead of projecting strength to those who would do evil around the world, they cut military budgets, disrespected our soldiers in uniform, burned our flag, and chose negotiation and multilateralism. … Then Americans decided to take their country back from those who sought to undermine it.
By the way, I don't really expect you to pity them! Many of them don't WANT pity because that goes against their individualistic view of the world.
I saw several white co-workers who were furious at President Obama for his "You didn't build that" comments in 2012. It was obvious to me that he was TRYING to get through their thick skulls that we're all dependent on each other and various infrastructures to be successful, at least partly, but that's something that many white people grapple to understand after their "John Wayne" infused teachings over the years.
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