General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forums2016's Final Blow...
At 1:50 AM this morning, the phone rang. My wife's mother, who has been in memory care and has been non-ambulatory for some time, woke up, thought she could get out of bed and go to the bathroom, and fell. She was found by an aide doing hourly checks, but could not be revived, despite CPR and other measures. We do not know the ultimate cause of her death, and probably never will. She could easily have had a stroke, a heart attack, or simply struck her head on something. No autopsy will be done. She is simply gone from our lives.
So, today has been spent dealing with that for my wife and I. She's devastated, and so am I. There is so much to do when something like this happens, that we've been distracted, but our trip to the Cremation Society to arrange things brought it all home.
It was yet another blow in a long series of blows this year. We'll recover, but this has been a very bad year all around.
Please, sir, I do not want any more. Thanks.
Note: I'm not going to be at this computer any more today, so thank you in advance for your wonderful replies and wishes!
Eliot Rosewater
(31,109 posts)Lately I have been asking myself "what have us good and decent people done to deserve this?".
irisblue
(32,968 posts)Laffy Kat
(16,377 posts)MoonRiver
(36,926 posts)My husband and I have lost all our parents. It's tough. May your mother-in-law rest in peace.
Raster
(20,998 posts)...Bless your hearts. And yes, I am more than ready for 2016 to exit stage left.
mac56
(17,566 posts)Raine1967
(11,589 posts)I am so sorry for your loss.
tblue37
(65,336 posts)yallerdawg
(16,104 posts)Sorrow and grief teaches us just one thing.
Enjoy the hell out of the good stuff!
Small comfort now, but "this too shall pass."
redstateblues
(10,565 posts)Hortensis
(58,785 posts)We most of us know too well that devastating...simply gone finality.
redwitch
(14,944 posts)2016 sucks and I will be glad to see the last of it. I lost my mom 12 years ago right before Christmas and it is really, really hard. My condolences to you and especially to your wife. Let's all hope that for some reason 2017 is better.
DonCoquixote
(13,616 posts)2016 took my sister, so I know what it is like to have a clse one die in the midst of this ugly, ugly year.
Justice
(7,185 posts)stevenleser
(32,886 posts)Arkansas Granny
(31,515 posts)CousinIT
(9,240 posts)Indeed 2016 has been the year from the pit of Hell in so many ways, and what happened to you is the most tragic of all.
I wish you and your family Peace and Strength at this difficult time.
cate94
(2,810 posts)Always so difficult to lose those we love. Thoughts and prayers for you and yours.
maryellen99
(3,788 posts)spanone
(135,827 posts)8~(
Thor_MN
(11,843 posts)SnowCritter
(810 posts)ismnotwasm
(41,976 posts)csziggy
(34,136 posts)I dread that middle of the night call. Last time was when my father had a medical incident and never recovered full awareness. in the week before his death. Now I worry about getting that call about my mother or my mother in law, both of whom are not doing very well.
Take care of yourselves.
LisaM
(27,803 posts)I hope it was a painless ending, and that you can just tie a bow on a shoebox labeled 2016 and stow it away for good.
nolabear
(41,959 posts)Pacifist Patriot
(24,653 posts)mcar
(42,302 posts)sheshe2
(83,746 posts)Condolences to you and your wife. May your mother in law rest in peace.
Hekate
(90,645 posts)Good riddance to 2016
Lotusflower70
(3,077 posts)My condolences to you and your wife.
tenorly
(2,037 posts)Always remember the adage about April showers - and above all that your loved one is a much better place.
Hugs and Best Wishes for the coming New Year.
williesgirl
(4,033 posts)sinkingfeeling
(51,445 posts)SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)gademocrat7
(10,656 posts)This year has been a cruel one.
greatauntoftriplets
(175,731 posts)tom_kelly
(958 posts)Wish I could be there to help you in some way.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)hamsterjill
(15,220 posts)n/t
BainsBane
(53,031 posts)My heartfelt sympathies to you and your wife.
Richard D
(8,753 posts)Maeve
(42,281 posts)Only the knowlege that others feel your grief and wish to lift your pain. May the days ahead be softened by good memories, love and friendship. May laughter follow tears as surely as the spring follows winter, although it is hard to see in the depths of December.
Hugs, my friend.
MontanaMama
(23,307 posts)These are difficult days to be sure. Peace to you both. I'm so sorry.
Dear 2016: Don't let the door hit you in the rear on your way out.
benld74
(9,904 posts)The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,681 posts)jodymarie aimee
(3,975 posts)You are a genius, I enjoy you here. Do not be gone too long. We need you.
revmclaren
(2,515 posts)Do what you need to do for your wife and yourself and we will see you when you get back.
Maru Kitteh
(28,339 posts)your life with us. It is one of the things that helps to knit us together as a community, and makes this a special place, so different from others. We share our great joys and deepest sorrows. And through that, through caring for one another, hopefully we feel less alone, especially in times like these.
for your family, MM.
BlueMTexpat
(15,366 posts)dear MineralMan!
I am so glad to see the end of 2016 - a year that began so hopefully and ended tragically.
Beartracks
(12,809 posts)==================
Plucketeer
(12,882 posts)denbot
(9,899 posts)Peace to you and yours.
sueh
(1,826 posts)Warpy
(111,249 posts)Even expected deaths are hard to take.
And this shit of a year has 3 days to go.
mentalsolstice
(4,460 posts)annabanana
(52,791 posts)It doesn't matter the age or condition. Losing a parent is a wrenching experience. Losing the people who have known us forever distances us from our own youngest selves and is so disorienting.
My heart is with you and your wife.
MFM008
(19,806 posts)RazBerryBeret
(3,075 posts)My mom is also in memory care, it seems like those moments between sleeping and waking are the most confusing and dangerous. My heart goes out to your family.
yardwork
(61,598 posts)bear425
(2,888 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)My condolences to you and your wife. Peace be with you.
kairos12
(12,856 posts)lostnfound
(16,176 posts)Response to MineralMan (Original post)
georgia-demogirl This message was self-deleted by its author.
blm
(113,044 posts).
BlancheSplanchnik
(20,219 posts)May you all have comfort and courage.
onenote
(42,700 posts)erpowers
(9,350 posts)I am very sorry for your loss. Hopefully, next year will be better for you.
spanone
(135,827 posts)democrank
(11,093 posts)Tomorrow is a new day.
mdbl
(4,973 posts)radical noodle
(8,000 posts)Hugs of comfort and peace, MineralMan.
Lucinda
(31,170 posts)lunatica
(53,410 posts)Uponthegears
(1,499 posts)Dave in VA
(2,037 posts)Runningdawg
(4,516 posts)treestar
(82,383 posts)Auntie Bush
(17,528 posts)Had almost the same experience. An aid came in early AM and found her on the floor.
However, she survived but then had to go in a nursing home against our wishes.
So sorry to hear about your M-I-L. Blessings to your wife.
Lifelong Protester
(8,421 posts)lunasun
(21,646 posts)This year really sucked and it is not over yet
2naSalit
(86,565 posts)My sincerest condolences. Don't know what else to say.
Aimee in OKC
(158 posts)Just holding my own breath and hoping for no more blows ... we cremated my younger brother in January and buried my father in July. Holding sorrow for the loss alongside joy to have had them at all.
The sense of empathy here is so heartening ... for the myriad personal griefs we all share.
This strength of community will be important support for resistance to the coming evils.
"And still we rise!"
DinahMoeHum
(21,784 posts). . .and we'll understand why you're not here for awhile.
CaptainTruth
(6,589 posts)It's been one hell of a year ...
Unfortunately, I have no hope that next year (the first year of the Reign Of Trump, or ROT) will be any better ...
Peace to you & your loved ones.
AC_Mem
(1,979 posts)its been one hell of a year. I lost my mom this year and my life came so close to ruin a couple times.
I'm going to work on coming up with some classes in 2017 to help others (and myself) to deal with the stress of this new reality. It is greatly needed.
May you and your family find peace through this difficult time.
Annette
BadGimp
(4,015 posts)NastyRiffraff
(12,448 posts)Peace and best wishes to you and your family.
Go away, 2016. And good riddance!
barbtries
(28,787 posts)I lost a lifelong friend on the 4th - she'd been suffering for so long it was a blessing, but the finality makes it hard. She was only 61.
on the plus side, a great nephew and a great, great niece were born this year, and i bought a home for the first time in my life.
trump won.
rbrnmw
(7,160 posts)kimbutgar
(21,131 posts)2016 has been so brutal. I also lost my Mother not unexpectedly but it still hurts.
Hug your wife tightly tonight mineral man.
MineralMan
(146,287 posts)Thank you all! It helps. It truly does.
ClusterFreak
(3,112 posts)I lost my own mother three years ago (a DU member herself) and after receiving a flood of heartwarming responses to my post about her passing, I always try to respond in kind to these kinds of posts. I hope you are able to take at least a small measure of comfort in the kind words and sincere sentiments expressed in this thread. You're right it has been a bad year, a very bad year indeed. But like you said, we'll recover and that includes you. Keep your chin up, and know you are not alone.
liquid diamond
(1,917 posts)2016 has also been a shitty year for me personally.
orangecrush
(19,542 posts)It is always a blow to lose a loved one.
niyad
(113,274 posts)for comfort and peace.
cry baby
(6,682 posts)and family.
May she rest in peace.
Ilsa
(61,694 posts)All of the family.
bravenak
(34,648 posts)LandrosT
(50 posts)It just keeps getting worse and worse, especially with Carrie Fisher's passing. 2017 is also looking grim, depending on what Trump's first year is like.
AgadorSparticus
(7,963 posts)Glimmer of Hope
(5,823 posts)GP6971
(31,141 posts)Our sincere condolences on your loss.
True_Blue
(3,063 posts)My condolences to you and your family.
The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)Bayard
(22,061 posts)Docreed2003
(16,858 posts)Moostache
(9,895 posts)This year has been the single worst of my previous 45...can't remember a worse year, and I am truly sorry for your year ending on such a tragic note.
pdxflyboy
(675 posts)catbyte
(34,374 posts)I just returned from the funeral for my best friend's husband. He was diagnosed with cancer on October 14 and walked on early in the morning of December 22. Won't this shit year EVER end? Please give my condolences to your wife. Again, I am so very worry.
gopiscrap
(23,756 posts)Buckeye_Democrat
(14,853 posts)calimary
(81,220 posts)This year is going down bad, sad, and bitter. I've never seen anything like this. The election and surreal aftermath, and all the tragedies in the news. SHEESH...
I'm worn out. I feel as though the last two months of this year almost literally stepped on me and flattened me to the floor. The really galling thing is - ordinarily I'd be looking forward to closing the book on a year like this, and starting fresh with a new year. But the new year this time brings us the biggest disaster to hit this country (hell, this whole planet) since the last Ice Age. I'm still stuck on "if we have nukes, why can't we use them?" and of course our favorite - "grab 'em by the pussy." I'm literally still stuck on those two comments. I'm still totally flabbergasted that a candidate not only would remain viable after uttering such shit, but would actually win the election.
So unbelievably foul. Vile, vulgar, foul, and fucked.
I wish that at least you both could have the solace of knowing a new year is starting, and new beginnings and new energy and new hope and a turning of the page to start up again. There's comfort in that. I guess maybe you have to make it up this time. You're not alone. Seems like anguish is just about everywhere one turns.
My best friend has a mantra: "This is temporary." I've been borrowing it a lot lately. Sometimes it can help.
Granny M
(1,395 posts)Terrible way to end this terrible year.
N_E_1 for Tennis
(9,721 posts)ewagner
(18,964 posts)to you and your wife.....
I can't offer much comfort except to say...we understand what you are going through because we have traveled this road also. In that sense we are your fellow-travelers.
MineralMan
(146,287 posts)Yesterday was very difficult, but we managed to make the necessary arrangements and my wife's sister from Florida has arrived. We have to clear out her mom's room at the memory care unit today or tomorrow and deal with many other matters in the next few days.
I'll be doing everything I can to take care of things, so my wife and her sisters can have time to grieve without the need to do mundane tasks and unpleasant issues. With luck, things will go smoothly and without unnecessary reminders.
I so much appreciate all of the support from all of my DU friends. It helps a great deal.
LeftInTX
(25,258 posts)We lost our dad, our only surviving parent, in November. My brother has been a godsend with arranging everything. Your wife and her family will greatly appreciate the help you are providing them.
TexasMommaWithAHat
(3,212 posts)May you all find peace.
cab67
(2,992 posts)JHan
(10,173 posts)3catwoman3
(23,973 posts)...ever completely ready for that last farewell to the woman who loved us from the moment she knew we existed.
Thinking of both of you.
DFW
(54,358 posts)This has been a trying year form many of us. I'm sorry to welcome you to the club. Let's hope we have reached bottom by now. A new beginning is overdue.
lillypaddle
(9,580 posts)to you and your wife. May her mother RIP.