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MineralMan

(146,287 posts)
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:29 PM Dec 2016

2016's Final Blow...

At 1:50 AM this morning, the phone rang. My wife's mother, who has been in memory care and has been non-ambulatory for some time, woke up, thought she could get out of bed and go to the bathroom, and fell. She was found by an aide doing hourly checks, but could not be revived, despite CPR and other measures. We do not know the ultimate cause of her death, and probably never will. She could easily have had a stroke, a heart attack, or simply struck her head on something. No autopsy will be done. She is simply gone from our lives.

So, today has been spent dealing with that for my wife and I. She's devastated, and so am I. There is so much to do when something like this happens, that we've been distracted, but our trip to the Cremation Society to arrange things brought it all home.

It was yet another blow in a long series of blows this year. We'll recover, but this has been a very bad year all around.

Please, sir, I do not want any more. Thanks.

Note: I'm not going to be at this computer any more today, so thank you in advance for your wonderful replies and wishes!

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2016's Final Blow... (Original Post) MineralMan Dec 2016 OP
Yeah, what a shit show this year has been. My condolences to you and your wife. Eliot Rosewater Dec 2016 #1
Such a great loss, I am so sorry for your wife and you. irisblue Dec 2016 #2
My condolences, Dear MM & your wife. nt Laffy Kat Dec 2016 #3
I'm so sorry. MoonRiver Dec 2016 #4
Very sorry to hear this, Mineral Man... Raster Dec 2016 #5
I am so sorry for your loss. mac56 Dec 2016 #6
My condolences, MM. Raine1967 Dec 2016 #7
I am sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Please offer my condolences to your wife, too. nt tblue37 Dec 2016 #8
So sorry for your family's loss, MM. yallerdawg Dec 2016 #9
So sorry for your loss redstateblues Dec 2016 #10
So sorry, MM. Hortensis Dec 2016 #11
I'm so sorry! redwitch Dec 2016 #12
so sorry. DonCoquixote Dec 2016 #13
I am so sorry Justice Dec 2016 #14
Condolences MineralMan stevenleser Dec 2016 #15
I am so sorry to hear this, MM. My thoughts will be with you and your wife. Arkansas Granny Dec 2016 #16
I am so sorry for this unexpected loss CousinIT Dec 2016 #17
So very sorry cate94 Dec 2016 #18
I'm so sorry for your loss :( maryellen99 Dec 2016 #19
a 1:50 am call is rarely ever good. so sorry for your loss. spanone Dec 2016 #20
Sorry to hear this. Thor_MN Dec 2016 #21
Sorry for your loss. SnowCritter Dec 2016 #22
. ismnotwasm Dec 2016 #23
Condolences to your wife and your family csziggy Dec 2016 #24
I am very sorry for this. LisaM Dec 2016 #25
I'm so sorry. We lost Mr. Bear's mother this year too. Peace to you and your family. nolabear Dec 2016 #26
I am so very sorry to hear this. Pacifist Patriot Dec 2016 #27
So sorry for your loss, MM mcar Dec 2016 #28
I am so very sorry for your loss, MM. sheshe2 Dec 2016 #29
Peace to you all, and peaceful passage to her Hekate Dec 2016 #30
Sorry for your loss Lotusflower70 Dec 2016 #31
Warmest condolences to you and yours, Mineral Man. tenorly Dec 2016 #32
My heart goes out to both of you. 2017 will be much better. williesgirl Dec 2016 #33
Very sorry for your loss and the awful 2016. sinkingfeeling Dec 2016 #34
..... SammyWinstonJack Dec 2016 #35
Condolences to you,your wife and family. gademocrat7 Dec 2016 #36
My deepest condolences on your loss. greatauntoftriplets Dec 2016 #37
Sending you strength and stamina tom_kelly Dec 2016 #38
Sorry for your loss HipChick Dec 2016 #39
I am sorry for your loss, and I wish your family peace and comfort. hamsterjill Dec 2016 #40
I'm so sorry for you loss. BainsBane Dec 2016 #41
So very sorry Richard D Dec 2016 #42
There are no words that can serve at such a time Maeve Dec 2016 #43
My heart goes out to you and your wife on this profound loss. MontanaMama Dec 2016 #44
Prayers sent benld74 Dec 2016 #45
My condolences! The Velveteen Ocelot Dec 2016 #46
MineralMan jodymarie aimee Dec 2016 #47
I'm so very sorry for your loss. revmclaren Dec 2016 #48
So verry sorry, MineralMan to you and your wife. Thank you for sharing this personal moment from Maru Kitteh Dec 2016 #49
Deepest sympathies, BlueMTexpat Dec 2016 #50
So sorry for your loss. Beartracks Dec 2016 #51
Condolences Plucketeer Dec 2016 #52
Condolences MM denbot Dec 2016 #53
I'm so sorry, MineralMan. My condolences to your dear wife. (((hugs))) sueh Dec 2016 #54
I'm so sorry Warpy Dec 2016 #55
I'm so sorry for your loss! nt mentalsolstice Dec 2016 #56
I am so sorry my dear MineralMan. annabanana Dec 2016 #57
am very sorry for your loss MFM008 Dec 2016 #58
So sorry to hear this, MM. RazBerryBeret Dec 2016 #59
I'm very sorry for your loss. yardwork Dec 2016 #60
Very sorry for your and your wife's loss and heartache. N/t bear425 Dec 2016 #61
So sorry to hear of your loss Mineral Man smirkymonkey Dec 2016 #62
MineralMan-you and your wife have my profound condolences. kairos12 Dec 2016 #63
Condolences and hope for consolation in rich memories lostnfound Dec 2016 #64
This message was self-deleted by its author georgia-demogirl Dec 2016 #65
((MM)) blm Dec 2016 #66
So very sorry, MM BlancheSplanchnik Dec 2016 #67
So very sorry for your family's loss. onenote Dec 2016 #68
Sorry For Your Loss erpowers Dec 2016 #69
--- spanone Dec 2016 #70
So sorry, MineralMan. democrank Dec 2016 #71
my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family mdbl Dec 2016 #72
I'm so sorry radical noodle Dec 2016 #73
... Lucinda Dec 2016 #74
. lunatica Dec 2016 #75
. . . Uponthegears Dec 2016 #76
So Sorry... Dave in VA Dec 2016 #77
.............. Runningdawg Dec 2016 #78
Sorry for your loss. treestar Dec 2016 #79
I'm so sorry MM. (my initials are MM too). We have more than that in common. My mother Auntie Bush Dec 2016 #80
I am so sorry for your loss. Lifelong Protester Dec 2016 #81
My condolences to your family and take care MM lunasun Dec 2016 #82
Oh dear, 2naSalit Dec 2016 #83
Condolences, MM... a terrible year indeed ... Aimee in OKC Dec 2016 #84
MM, so sorry for your loss. Do what you must do. . . DinahMoeHum Dec 2016 #85
You have my sincere sympathies ... CaptainTruth Dec 2016 #86
So sorry for your loss AC_Mem Dec 2016 #87
My condolences BadGimp Dec 2016 #88
Oh, MineralMan, I'm so sorry NastyRiffraff Dec 2016 #89
so sorry for your loss MineralMan barbtries Dec 2016 #90
. Sissyk Dec 2016 #91
Very sorry for your and your wife's loss. rbrnmw Dec 2016 #92
Sorry for your wife's lost kimbutgar Dec 2016 #93
I'm overwhelmed by the response. MineralMan Dec 2016 #94
Whenever I see a post like this, I try to respond. ClusterFreak Dec 2016 #95
I'm sorry about your loss MineralMan. liquid diamond Dec 2016 #96
Heartfelt sympathy orangecrush Dec 2016 #97
((((((((MM)))))) deepest sympathies to you and your family in this sad time. prayers niyad Dec 2016 #98
I'll be thinking of your wife and you... cry baby Dec 2016 #99
My condolences to your wife, you, and Ilsa Dec 2016 #100
My heart is with you bravenak Dec 2016 #101
This has to be the worst year I've experienced. LandrosT Dec 2016 #102
My condolences...I agree. 2016 is the absolute worst year. AgadorSparticus Dec 2016 #103
I am so sorry. Glimmer of Hope Dec 2016 #104
I'm so sorry to hear this. GP6971 Dec 2016 #105
I'm sorry for your loss True_Blue Dec 2016 #106
MineralMan, So sorry about your mom-in law. I wish you and your wife and family better times. The Wielding Truth Dec 2016 #107
Very sorry, MineralMan Bayard Dec 2016 #108
My sincere condolences...prayers for you and yours Docreed2003 Dec 2016 #109
My most sincere condolences to you and your extended family... Moostache Dec 2016 #110
Mineral Man, I am VERY sorry. pdxflyboy Dec 2016 #111
I'm so very sorry, MM catbyte Dec 2016 #112
My prayers go with you gopiscrap Dec 2016 #113
Sorry for your loss! Buckeye_Democrat Dec 2016 #114
My sympathy to you and your wife, MM. calimary Dec 2016 #115
Condolences to you and your wife. Granny M Dec 2016 #116
... N_E_1 for Tennis Dec 2016 #117
Our condolences ewagner Dec 2016 #118
Thank you all again for the very kind messages in your replies. MineralMan Dec 2016 #119
I'm sorry for you loss LeftInTX Dec 2016 #125
I'm so sorry. TexasMommaWithAHat Dec 2016 #120
I am sorry for your loss. cab67 Dec 2016 #121
please accept my sincere condolences, truly sorry for your loss. JHan Dec 2016 #122
However old we are, I don't think we are... 3catwoman3 Dec 2016 #123
Sad to hear. Thoughs with you DFW Dec 2016 #124
Sending love and hugs lillypaddle Dec 2016 #126

Eliot Rosewater

(31,109 posts)
1. Yeah, what a shit show this year has been. My condolences to you and your wife.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:32 PM
Dec 2016

Lately I have been asking myself "what have us good and decent people done to deserve this?".

MoonRiver

(36,926 posts)
4. I'm so sorry.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:35 PM
Dec 2016

My husband and I have lost all our parents. It's tough. May your mother-in-law rest in peace.

Raster

(20,998 posts)
5. Very sorry to hear this, Mineral Man...
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:36 PM
Dec 2016

...Bless your hearts. And yes, I am more than ready for 2016 to exit stage left.

yallerdawg

(16,104 posts)
9. So sorry for your family's loss, MM.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:43 PM
Dec 2016

Sorrow and grief teaches us just one thing.

Enjoy the hell out of the good stuff!

Small comfort now, but "this too shall pass."

redwitch

(14,944 posts)
12. I'm so sorry!
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:45 PM
Dec 2016

2016 sucks and I will be glad to see the last of it. I lost my mom 12 years ago right before Christmas and it is really, really hard. My condolences to you and especially to your wife. Let's all hope that for some reason 2017 is better.

DonCoquixote

(13,616 posts)
13. so sorry.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:47 PM
Dec 2016

2016 took my sister, so I know what it is like to have a clse one die in the midst of this ugly, ugly year.

CousinIT

(9,240 posts)
17. I am so sorry for this unexpected loss
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 03:54 PM
Dec 2016

Indeed 2016 has been the year from the pit of Hell in so many ways, and what happened to you is the most tragic of all.

I wish you and your family Peace and Strength at this difficult time.

csziggy

(34,136 posts)
24. Condolences to your wife and your family
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:12 PM
Dec 2016

I dread that middle of the night call. Last time was when my father had a medical incident and never recovered full awareness. in the week before his death. Now I worry about getting that call about my mother or my mother in law, both of whom are not doing very well.

Take care of yourselves.

LisaM

(27,803 posts)
25. I am very sorry for this.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:13 PM
Dec 2016

I hope it was a painless ending, and that you can just tie a bow on a shoebox labeled 2016 and stow it away for good.

sheshe2

(83,746 posts)
29. I am so very sorry for your loss, MM.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:14 PM
Dec 2016

Condolences to you and your wife. May your mother in law rest in peace.

tenorly

(2,037 posts)
32. Warmest condolences to you and yours, Mineral Man.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:25 PM
Dec 2016

Always remember the adage about April showers - and above all that your loved one is a much better place.

Hugs and Best Wishes for the coming New Year.

Maeve

(42,281 posts)
43. There are no words that can serve at such a time
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:48 PM
Dec 2016

Only the knowlege that others feel your grief and wish to lift your pain. May the days ahead be softened by good memories, love and friendship. May laughter follow tears as surely as the spring follows winter, although it is hard to see in the depths of December.

Hugs, my friend.

MontanaMama

(23,307 posts)
44. My heart goes out to you and your wife on this profound loss.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:49 PM
Dec 2016

These are difficult days to be sure. Peace to you both. I'm so sorry.





Dear 2016: Don't let the door hit you in the rear on your way out.

revmclaren

(2,515 posts)
48. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:55 PM
Dec 2016

Do what you need to do for your wife and yourself and we will see you when you get back.

Maru Kitteh

(28,339 posts)
49. So verry sorry, MineralMan to you and your wife. Thank you for sharing this personal moment from
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 04:59 PM
Dec 2016

your life with us. It is one of the things that helps to knit us together as a community, and makes this a special place, so different from others. We share our great joys and deepest sorrows. And through that, through caring for one another, hopefully we feel less alone, especially in times like these.

for your family, MM.

BlueMTexpat

(15,366 posts)
50. Deepest sympathies,
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 05:08 PM
Dec 2016

dear MineralMan!

I am so glad to see the end of 2016 - a year that began so hopefully and ended tragically.

annabanana

(52,791 posts)
57. I am so sorry my dear MineralMan.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 05:22 PM
Dec 2016

It doesn't matter the age or condition. Losing a parent is a wrenching experience. Losing the people who have known us forever distances us from our own youngest selves and is so disorienting.

My heart is with you and your wife.

RazBerryBeret

(3,075 posts)
59. So sorry to hear this, MM.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 05:27 PM
Dec 2016

My mom is also in memory care, it seems like those moments between sleeping and waking are the most confusing and dangerous. My heart goes out to your family.

Response to MineralMan (Original post)

Auntie Bush

(17,528 posts)
80. I'm so sorry MM. (my initials are MM too). We have more than that in common. My mother
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 06:31 PM
Dec 2016

Had almost the same experience. An aid came in early AM and found her on the floor.
However, she survived but then had to go in a nursing home against our wishes.
So sorry to hear about your M-I-L. Blessings to your wife.

Aimee in OKC

(158 posts)
84. Condolences, MM... a terrible year indeed ...
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 06:54 PM
Dec 2016

Just holding my own breath and hoping for no more blows ... we cremated my younger brother in January and buried my father in July. Holding sorrow for the loss alongside joy to have had them at all.

The sense of empathy here is so heartening ... for the myriad personal griefs we all share.

This strength of community will be important support for resistance to the coming evils.

"And still we rise!"

DinahMoeHum

(21,784 posts)
85. MM, so sorry for your loss. Do what you must do. . .
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 07:10 PM
Dec 2016

. . .and we'll understand why you're not here for awhile.

CaptainTruth

(6,589 posts)
86. You have my sincere sympathies ...
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 07:10 PM
Dec 2016

It's been one hell of a year ...

Unfortunately, I have no hope that next year (the first year of the Reign Of Trump, or ROT) will be any better ...

Peace to you & your loved ones.

AC_Mem

(1,979 posts)
87. So sorry for your loss
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 07:18 PM
Dec 2016

its been one hell of a year. I lost my mom this year and my life came so close to ruin a couple times.

I'm going to work on coming up with some classes in 2017 to help others (and myself) to deal with the stress of this new reality. It is greatly needed.

May you and your family find peace through this difficult time.

Annette

NastyRiffraff

(12,448 posts)
89. Oh, MineralMan, I'm so sorry
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 08:02 PM
Dec 2016

Peace and best wishes to you and your family.

Go away, 2016. And good riddance!

barbtries

(28,787 posts)
90. so sorry for your loss MineralMan
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 08:41 PM
Dec 2016

I lost a lifelong friend on the 4th - she'd been suffering for so long it was a blessing, but the finality makes it hard. She was only 61.

on the plus side, a great nephew and a great, great niece were born this year, and i bought a home for the first time in my life.

trump won.


kimbutgar

(21,131 posts)
93. Sorry for your wife's lost
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 08:49 PM
Dec 2016

2016 has been so brutal. I also lost my Mother not unexpectedly but it still hurts.

Hug your wife tightly tonight mineral man.

ClusterFreak

(3,112 posts)
95. Whenever I see a post like this, I try to respond.
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 09:44 PM
Dec 2016

I lost my own mother three years ago (a DU member herself) and after receiving a flood of heartwarming responses to my post about her passing, I always try to respond in kind to these kinds of posts. I hope you are able to take at least a small measure of comfort in the kind words and sincere sentiments expressed in this thread. You're right it has been a bad year, a very bad year indeed. But like you said, we'll recover and that includes you. Keep your chin up, and know you are not alone.

niyad

(113,274 posts)
98. ((((((((MM)))))) deepest sympathies to you and your family in this sad time. prayers
Wed Dec 28, 2016, 11:43 PM
Dec 2016

for comfort and peace.

 

LandrosT

(50 posts)
102. This has to be the worst year I've experienced.
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 12:06 AM
Dec 2016

It just keeps getting worse and worse, especially with Carrie Fisher's passing. 2017 is also looking grim, depending on what Trump's first year is like.

Moostache

(9,895 posts)
110. My most sincere condolences to you and your extended family...
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 01:45 AM
Dec 2016

This year has been the single worst of my previous 45...can't remember a worse year, and I am truly sorry for your year ending on such a tragic note.

catbyte

(34,374 posts)
112. I'm so very sorry, MM
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 02:57 AM
Dec 2016

I just returned from the funeral for my best friend's husband. He was diagnosed with cancer on October 14 and walked on early in the morning of December 22. Won't this shit year EVER end? Please give my condolences to your wife. Again, I am so very worry.

calimary

(81,220 posts)
115. My sympathy to you and your wife, MM.
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 03:52 AM
Dec 2016

This year is going down bad, sad, and bitter. I've never seen anything like this. The election and surreal aftermath, and all the tragedies in the news. SHEESH...

I'm worn out. I feel as though the last two months of this year almost literally stepped on me and flattened me to the floor. The really galling thing is - ordinarily I'd be looking forward to closing the book on a year like this, and starting fresh with a new year. But the new year this time brings us the biggest disaster to hit this country (hell, this whole planet) since the last Ice Age. I'm still stuck on "if we have nukes, why can't we use them?" and of course our favorite - "grab 'em by the pussy." I'm literally still stuck on those two comments. I'm still totally flabbergasted that a candidate not only would remain viable after uttering such shit, but would actually win the election.

So unbelievably foul. Vile, vulgar, foul, and fucked.

I wish that at least you both could have the solace of knowing a new year is starting, and new beginnings and new energy and new hope and a turning of the page to start up again. There's comfort in that. I guess maybe you have to make it up this time. You're not alone. Seems like anguish is just about everywhere one turns.

My best friend has a mantra: "This is temporary." I've been borrowing it a lot lately. Sometimes it can help.

ewagner

(18,964 posts)
118. Our condolences
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 10:05 AM
Dec 2016

to you and your wife.....

I can't offer much comfort except to say...we understand what you are going through because we have traveled this road also. In that sense we are your fellow-travelers.

MineralMan

(146,287 posts)
119. Thank you all again for the very kind messages in your replies.
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 10:27 AM
Dec 2016

Yesterday was very difficult, but we managed to make the necessary arrangements and my wife's sister from Florida has arrived. We have to clear out her mom's room at the memory care unit today or tomorrow and deal with many other matters in the next few days.

I'll be doing everything I can to take care of things, so my wife and her sisters can have time to grieve without the need to do mundane tasks and unpleasant issues. With luck, things will go smoothly and without unnecessary reminders.

I so much appreciate all of the support from all of my DU friends. It helps a great deal.

LeftInTX

(25,258 posts)
125. I'm sorry for you loss
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 01:01 PM
Dec 2016

We lost our dad, our only surviving parent, in November. My brother has been a godsend with arranging everything. Your wife and her family will greatly appreciate the help you are providing them.

3catwoman3

(23,973 posts)
123. However old we are, I don't think we are...
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 11:48 AM
Dec 2016

...ever completely ready for that last farewell to the woman who loved us from the moment she knew we existed.

Thinking of both of you.

DFW

(54,358 posts)
124. Sad to hear. Thoughs with you
Thu Dec 29, 2016, 11:52 AM
Dec 2016

This has been a trying year form many of us. I'm sorry to welcome you to the club. Let's hope we have reached bottom by now. A new beginning is overdue.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»2016's Final Blow...