father of bus bully hugs bullied grandmother

[Liberal_in_LA]

The father of one of the students came over to apologise to Mrs Klein, giving her a hug and saying how sorry he was

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2163502/Bullied-bus-monitor-Karen-Klein-retire-600-000-donations-boys-FINALLY-apologize-behavior.html#ixzz1yjo1Ta6K

[cherokeeprogressive]

1. Yeah but where's the son? This is totally meaningless. What's the dad's benefit? n/t

[proud2BlibKansan]

2. Saw this on TV and had the same question

[KarenS]

3. The article isn't clear about which father this was, but

I do think the all parents of these boys should each apologize to her as well as their boys. As long as he wasn't apologizing for his son or in lieu of his son then I like that he reached out to her.

As to "What's the dad's benefit?" ~ it makes sense to me that that dad may have felt shame & sadness that his son behaved in such a manner.

[Liberal_in_LA]

4. some of the boys have apologized. They are getting a zillion dealth threats. Cops are patrolling

their neighborhood. I think the parents apologized and had the sons apologize to stop the death threats.

[Dan]

29. I think that as a parent,

you just feel ashamed that your child would have behaved in such a way.

The apology would be independent of threats, etc., it would just be the right thing to do...

[polly7]

5. Yes, and I'm sure it meant a lot to her.

The actions of those kids harmed a lot more people than they realize ... I'm sure their parents have suffered badly too... as you say, with shame and sadness. Not all bullies are raised by bad parents. Hopefully, it's a wake-up call for every parent hearing of it, though.

[EFerrari]

9. Modeling. Plus when a kid has a behavior problem

his chances of fixing it go up when his family takes an active role.

Edit for grammar.

[SickOfTheOnePct]

12. Absolutely agree

As a parent, I would be mortified if one of my daughter's behaved this way, and while I would absolutely make them apologize, I would apologize as well. If for no other reason than obviously I missed something in their behavior patterns.

[MightyOkie]

32. Agreed.

And succinctly said.

[Nuclear Unicorn]

81. Hubby would say, "Lead from the front." IOW set the example.

Maybe dad wasn't perfect -- certainly his son wasn't -- but dad can do much by setting the example of contrition and humility.

[whatchamacallit]

49. +1

[Chorophyll]

65. Definitely.

Well put.

[4th law of robotics]

7. Can't say, but he should be at the this ladies house

for every free moment he has until he turns 18 doing whatever manual labor she needs done. Mowing, cleaning gutters, washing dishes, etc as a start to making up for what he did.

[sad sally]

17. Restorative justice in cases like this might produce positive outcomes - for both the victim and the

bully. It would be worth the effort to change the behavior now. A positive jolt in a young person's life - including being held responsible for bad choices and community payback as a punishment for it - can many times be a good thing.

[HarveyDarkey]

11. My first thought also

Where's the asshole kid who did it? Although if he were made to do it, it would be meaningless.

[lumberjack_jeff]

13. No, not meaningless.

Maybe it's a dad thing, but I'm responsible for the conduct of my family, which is in fact legally true. What the kid did brings shame on the whole family.

[cherokeeprogressive]

20. My own Dad dragged me to a neighbor's house by the short hairs on the back of my head.

I did something I'm completely ashamed of and not going to go into here. When it was found out, all three of us were in our neighbor's living room with our parents. My dad actually offered the neighbor the chance to take a belt to my backside which was, thankfully, declined.

Upon returning home which was only about four doors away I got a whoopin' to end all whoppin's and I might add that I deserved more. The neighbor in question had every right to call the law. The next day I got the shortest butch haircut I'd ever had, was grounded to the yard for the WHOLE summer with a list of chores as long as your arm. The list included chores for the neighbor but he said he'd rather not have me on his property at all.

The notion of my dad going down the street to apologize for me is laughable. Maybe that's why I can't wrap my head around this guy going to her house without his young monster.

[obamanut2012]

34. THis father didn't apologize for his son, imo

He apologized for himself.

[Rowdyboy]

60. I may be wrong but I believe the lady had said she wasn't ready to speak to any of the kids yet...

If thats so, I respect her right to be left alone until she's ready. God knows I wouldn't want to see any of the little bastards were I she. But then I don't share her grace.

[Liberal_in_LA]

68. wow.

[Aerows]

24. Responsibility of family

And family thing. Those from close families understand it, and so do it. He did the right thing. Everyone in my family would take responsibility if one of our own did something so shitty, and would try to make up for it. It's who we are.

[Romulox]

77. Lame excuses. The kid behaves the way he did because of how he was raised. He got CAUGHT

so the now with the "apologies".

But do continue scrambling!

[GaYellowDawg]

14. It's called PROVIDING A GOOD EXAMPLE.

[cherokeeprogressive]

18. An example that this little adolescent monster reads about on the intertubes?

Good example, that.

[obamanut2012]

35. He is setting a good example

The Dad did the right thing.

Also, as someone said upthread, not every bad kid comes from a bad family. Also as someone said upthread, people from close families "get" this, because it would be considered a collective responsibility.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

15. Based on the bear hug Mrs. Klein is giving in return...

I'm not sure where you get "meaningless" -- this gesture might help her heal, and that's what matters.

I imagine that father will see to it that his son apologizes. If I were the parent of one of those little shits, I would have apologized on behalf of our family first, and then hauled LS before Mrs. Klein. All of this would have been based on HER comfort level, not ours.

[obamanut2012]

36. She had also said last week she didn't want to see the kids again

The father may also have been showing sensitivity to her feelings. I think it meant more without dragging the kid along.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

55. Thanks, I thought I had read that somewhere.

No one on any message board gets to decide what is or is not "meaningful" to Mrs. Klein. It's not like the kid broke a window with a wayward baseball and the father hauled him over to apologize...this was traumatic stuff. I think the father is showing her respect, and will arrange a face-to-face apology from the son if and when she is ready.

[obamanut2012]

63. Yup, and it just happened a week ago today

She needs to process everything.

[Aerows]

25. The family is also taking responsibility

For raising such a little asshole. I don't know why you wish to see that as lack of responsibility, but many of us take responsibility when our family members act atrociously, whether that family member is there or not.

It's called responsibility for our awful relatives, and remorse for the things the have done.

[obamanut2012]

33. Maybe he is ashamed and embarrassed by how his spawn treated her?

To me, his apology would probably be more legit than his son's.

[MADem]

43. He wants the death threats to stop, maybe? The kid can't come over because Pa knocked out a tooth?

I understand those families are getting an EARFUL. They should.

[sabrina 1]

6. One of the fathers, not sure if this is the one, has said he intends to take his son to

therapy as he was appalled at what his son did. I'm glad they are coming forward and apologizing to her. Kids often do things their parents are or would be shocked by if they knew. Giving him the benefit of the doubt and hoping there will be four or five fewer bullies in the world as a result of the reaction to what they did.

[Liberal_in_LA]

10. therapy is a good idea. On the video, the boys were talking about stabbing the woman

- find out what's behind that kinda talk.

[cabot]

21. Good

The kid needs it.

[Romulox]

23. My experience is that virtually all bullies learn it at home. Often from an abusive parent. nt

[obamanut2012]

38. I have found that not to be true

IN MY EXPERIENCE.

[riderinthestorm]

46. +1. Not in my experience either. nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

47. Agree. n/t

[Romulox]

53. OK. Our experience doesn't cancel out. nt

[dionysus]

56. because you're all knowing...

[Eksess]

73. sorry no

Shitstain behaviour like this just doesn't pop up out of the ether. This was either observed repeatedly, or limits on acceptable behaviour were not set...... repeatedly.

Little Johnny Innocent doesn't go from sneaking extra cookies from the jar when someone isn't looking, to cold hearted emotional abuse with the clear intent on witnessing the breakdown of another person.... an authority figure even, for the sheer entertainment value.


This shit was TAUGHT.

[EFerrari]

8. Good for him. That's good parenting. n/t

[MichiganVote]

16. One wonders how CNN got a pic of this. In any case,

the next step is to show up with the kid, the kid's apology, some window cleaner and a lawn mower.--for the boy to use, for like the next year.

[cabot]

19. Nice but the boys should have been there too

If I happened to be one of their parents, I would make sure my son would be available all summer to do chores around her house, clean, do laundry, mow the lawn, etc. Just my opinion. No pay. Just simple, nice volunteer work. Good-bye summer.

[Romulox]

22. As if this self-same father didn't teach his son to be a bully in the first place. nt

[Aerows]

27. Bullshit

Bullies learn it for attention and then also have parents who put a stop to it, too.

Not every person living under a bully becomes a bully, and not every bully goes on to raise a bully. It's not a one to one ratio, though I DO wish there were ways to detect them.

There aren't such easy ways, but we can be better people and defend kids against it.

[Romulox]

50. It's more likely than not. Much more rare for good parents to raise an absolute monster. nt

[Quantess]

28. You don't know that he did.

It doesn't always work that way.

[Romulox]

51. It's more likely than not. nt

[Quantess]

54. Could be.

But there are some cases where normal parenting doesn't help. People can do their best as parents but yet their kids do bratty things, maybe influenced by other bratty kids.

By that age, the child has had a lot of diffferent influences. If the parents aren't paying attention, their child can be influenced by peers super easily.

[EFerrari]

39. Maybe he did. But if that is the case, this is a step in a better direction. n/t

[Romulox]

52. Now that I can agree with. nt

[obamanut2012]

40. You have zero proof of that

Many bad kids do NOT come from bad homes. They come from good homes. The kid may just be twisted, or be someone who bows easily to peer pressure or mob rule.

If this was true, then every family with a bully would produce nothing but bullies, and that doesn't happen.

[dionysus]

57. thank you Doctor Frist.

[Romulox]

58. More *stunning* insight from one of DU's top contributors! nt

[Tarheel_Dem]

61. Given the responses, I think dion's "insight" was spot on. He basically said the same thing....

everyone else is saying to you.

[Romulox]

75. Oh nonsense. You two run in pack.

[Tarheel_Dem]

80. Oooooh! Temper. Temper. What was it you were saying about "bullies"?

So now I "run in a pack". Yet another long distance unsolicited diagnosis, by some pixillated dude on the intertubes. Thank you Doctor. Do you accept MasterCard?

Now that I know my ailment, I'm off to rejoin "my pack". Ruff! Ruff!

[Romulox]

82. No temper at all. Just a fact. It's lame to pretend otherwise. Now, more bully defending to do! nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

67. Exactly right. n/t

[Romulox]

76. LOL at the PILE ON. You guys are real experts at defending bullies! nt

[uppityperson]

64. That may be true on a macro view, but not for any individual case.

Overall, perhaps bullies learned their behavior at home. But for a specific bully, that does not hold true.

[lumberjack_jeff]

66. Stereotyping: the secret of success is to embrace the ones everyone else holds. n/t

[Romulox]

74. Poor, poor bullies! PLEASE lets not *stereotype* them!

How perfectly ridiculous a response.

[lumberjack_jeff]

83. You're not stereotyping *bullies*.

But I'm sure you got your terrible logic skills because your illogical father taught them to you.

[Romulox]

84. No. I'm criticizing the people who taught these "snowflakes" everything they know.

But I'm sure you got your terrible logic skills because your illogical father taught them to you.

Somehow, it is MUCH more logical to assume these half dozen children are all HORRIBLE anomalies. Nonsense.

[lumberjack_jeff]

85. No, they're individuals; incompletely assembled individuals at that.

They'll all grow up feeling bad about what they did and wondering what they could have been thinking.

But I sometimes forget that I'm talking to the only person who was born perfect and didn't change.

[Romulox]

86. They're children. They were taught to relate by adults. I don't know why you're so invested

in denying that ineluctable truth.

"They'll all grow up feeling bad about what they did and wondering what they could have been thinking."

What you don't understand is that the hurt feelings of bullies aren't the operative facts here.

"But I sometimes forget that I'm talking to the only person who was born perfect and didn't change."

Repeated personal insults + projection = lumberjack_jeff seems to identify with one side of this dispute WAY more than the other.

[lumberjack_jeff]

88. Ah. Perfect and a mind reader too!

With those mad psychic skills you'd think that you'd absorb some logic by osmosis.

[Tarheel_Dem]

89. "Repeated personal insults + projection"? Too Rich.

Is that anything like "running with a pack" or is that not considered insulting?

Here. Have one of these, perhaps yours is cracked?

[Romulox]

90. yip! yip! yip! nt

[roamer65]

26. I can't even imagine doing this sorta thing to her.

I was taught by my parents to be respectful. I really think we need to start requiring people to have ethical training in school and a license before having children.

[Aerows]

30. I wouldn't be alive to post

had I done this sort of thing.

[MADem]

45. I could not imagine behaving that way myself, but if I did, I'd expect to have my ass warmed

to a few degrees below boiling!

And I didn't come from a "hitting" family, but I could see an exception being made quite easily.

[EFerrari]

42. My family taught me to respect older people. And kids.

At some point, that turned out to be everybody. lol

[ICJ65]

31. Apology

What gets me is that we as a society all owe this person an apology we have let the kids of today become this more and more are doing these sort of things and to me there is no real consequence to the actions.
if i disrespected my mother or gran i would get a hand on my butt and work all day in the garden early to bed
try doing that now you would be breaking their rights or something
all those kids should be made to work X amount of weekends at an old peoples home

and to clear it up about us as a society .............. poor Mrs Klein should never have been subjected to this and we as a society have made it so
she could do nothing the bus driver could do nothing to help
in days not far gone those kids would have been made to walk home ...but if that happened now the kids parents would be suing the bus company etc ...even though those kids did what they did

and to Mrs Klein my heart felt apologies and god bless you (((( Mrs Klein ))))

[Aerows]

37. I owe Mrs. Kein respect

I don't own her an apology, since it was not my family member that took part in this, nor my community.

There is a difference. I owe her respect, and the families of the little rotten children that did this to her deserve to offer her an apology, but those of us that were not involved in raising their brats do not. And make no mistake - that is a bunch of brats.

The brats that did this deserve scorn, as do their parents, until they can raise their kids to live in polite society.

[obamanut2012]

41. I don't owe anyone an apology because of how someone else treated them

[Aerows]

44. Amen

It's not my fault someone else acts like a butthead. All I can do is influence those around me to not be buttheadish - though if they are, it still isn't my fault. If these were relatives of mine, I might feel a greater responsibility for steering them away from being mean little people, but even then, it wouldn't be my fault. I don't even live in the same part of the country as them, and don't know them from adam or eve, so it certainly isn't my fault.

I'm all for civic justice but not for taking on civic guilt that doesn't, and never will, belong to me.

[4th law of robotics]

70. That really isn't helping

blaming society is a nice way of not blaming anyone.

Saying we are all at fault takes away from the culpability of those who actually did it.

Punish them. Not society.

[ICJ65]

48. hmm

youve taken it wrong

society says you cant hit "KIDS"
you cant make them do this or that discipline and im not talking of abusive parenting
there is none and the consequence is ....what has happened violence in all walks of life
i never said you were directly responsible for what these kids did but society has changed the way
everyone is allowed to bring up their kids they have more rights than adults that is what im saying
and everyone is responsible for that to have been allowed to happen
And i just read that the school says they aint gonna be punished til September
they should be getting punishment now by then they would have forgotten what was done
send them all to military academy for the summer

[6000eliot]

62. I tried to avoid the video of her crying,

but thanks to the fucking TV news, I had to see it more than once. Why do people want to witness such cruelty over and over again? It always gives me nightmares.

[Liberal_in_LA]

69. it's easier to watch now that we know people have contributed $630K on her behalf.

[silentwarrior]

71. nice gesture but not good enough

if it had been my son or daughter that had bullied that grandmother i would have made them apologise and offer to do work for free for the lady, thats before i had beaten the crap out of my kids first....oops, bad parenting again

[Eksess]

72. Father spending energy in wrong place

Father shouldn't be hugging this bully victim. He should be apologizing for the behaviour his 'stellar' parenting thrust upon this woman. He should also be apologizing that he can't hug this woman because his arms are too tired from beating the stuffing out of his son who exhibited horrifying behaviour.


Seriously, those kids behaved like this, because they felt it was ok to behave like this. They were even PROUD of this behaviour. They were so proud of treating someone like this that they bragged about it to the ENTIRE WORLD on YouTube. Think about that for a minute. The kids were showing off to the entire planet. Posting it to YouTube meant they wanted everyone with an internet connection to see what they did. They took huge pride in this monstrous behaviour. Behaving like this wasn't just ok to them, it was something to brag about.....

Go ahead and hug away dad. You have already raised a monstrous human being that masquerades as a son. Its not the behaviour that was horrifying to good people, its the fact that that little sum'bitch was proud of it enough that he wanted the whole world to see it.





BTW, in case anyone is wondering. My kids don't get hit as a form of punishment. They also would never exhibit behaviour that was exhibited on their video, let alone be PROUD of it enough to brag to the entire planet about it. Infact, my daughter wouldn't let behaviour like this pass without commenting on it or getting the attention of adults, which she's done on mulitple occassions. But that father's kid, needs a swift kick in the ass.

[Romulox]

78. Look at how many excuses bullies garner, even here on DU. How quick many DUers demand we "forgive"

these tormentors...

It's all a matter of whom you identify with.

[KurtNYC]

79. So what the son learns from this is if he does something horrible

then Dad will go over and apologize.

[Romulox]

87. LOTS of investment in the idea that these children learn this behavior in a vacuum.

Also, LOTS of angst regarding how "badly" these bullies feel.