Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Stellar

(5,644 posts)
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 01:57 PM Jan 2017

A white Trump voter explains why he was inspired to leave a black waitress a $450 tip

and an uplifting note

When Jason White walked into Busboys and Poets Monday morning, a Washington restaurant that promotes social justice, he looked around and told his friend he might want to remove his red “Make America Great Again” cap.

The three white Texan men knew they stuck out in a place where African-American art and images cover the walls. And White said he could sense when his waitress greeted them that she knew they did too.

But Rosalynd Harris had arrived at work that morning still high off the energy from the Women’s March. Her customers Saturday had been abuzz with an optimism that was contagious.

So she was especially cheery when she greeted White and his two friends. They chatted warmly. They told her they were from West Texas. White is a dentist and he complimented her on her smile. They were jovial and fun.

Harris admits that White was right. She did prejudge them, by instantly assuming they were in town for President Trump’s inauguration by appearance alone, even though by that point the signature red baseball cap at been tucked away.

When the men finished their meals White decided to leave Harris, a 25-year-old African American woman, a personal message on the receipt. Then, after he wrote it, he left a $450 tip on their $72.60 bill, which is a nearly 625 percent tip.


More :WaPo


/photo/1
157 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
A white Trump voter explains why he was inspired to leave a black waitress a $450 tip (Original Post) Stellar Jan 2017 OP
call me a cynic oldtime dfl_er Jan 2017 #1
Me too HipChick Jan 2017 #7
My thoughts as well. NCTraveler Jan 2017 #8
I'm glad I discarded cynicism for its own sake some years back... LanternWaste Jan 2017 #21
Oh my gosh. cwydro Jan 2017 #154
He wanted to make her feel small. Typical really. Rex Jan 2017 #24
With a tip like that he can make feel small any day of the week CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #118
lulz Rex Jan 2017 #156
I thought it was beautiful yeoman6987 Jan 2017 #34
Well of course you did yeoman6987. Kingofalldems Jan 2017 #44
That is a ridiculous statement CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #116
If we can't recognize when someone is trying, from a Alice11111 Jan 2017 #126
Seconded shadowrider Jan 2017 #94
Well said! CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #117
I've done the same, but did it without the lecture. Amimnoch Jan 2017 #142
If you smell flowers, do you look for a coffin? Glassunion Jan 2017 #41
As a Texan, it sounds like one of the "good ole" boys to me. hamsterjill Jan 2017 #47
IMO it was a patronizing gesture made more to make him feel good about himself... brush Jan 2017 #78
Hell, he ought to feel good about himself CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #119
Yep, they sure do, even here on DU they reveal themselves. brush Jan 2017 #121
Yeah that Trump supporter is a really nice guy. Rex Jan 2017 #157
That's how I see it. I'm glad she got a good tip, but the note is creepy. yardwork Jan 2017 #147
I totally agree with you MrScorpio Jan 2017 #74
Don't know I'd say "creep"... Bradical79 Jan 2017 #80
yes oldtime dfl_er Jan 2017 #82
You are worse than an cynic. former9thward Jan 2017 #114
I don't see white privilege, nor do I sense "lecturey"... Raster Jan 2017 #152
Wow leftynyc Jan 2017 #2
I am left without hope get the red out Jan 2017 #63
You are an apple and I'm an orange but in the end we're both fruits alllove Jan 2017 #3
I would wait for the credit card to clear! angstlessk Jan 2017 #4
lol alllove Jan 2017 #9
I take this bdamomma Jan 2017 #5
Some things should be taken at face value. MadCrow Jan 2017 #12
At face value it's paternalistic, misogyinistic bullshit with racist overtones. Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #17
It really is like sayng "you're one of the good ones." JCanete Jan 2017 #25
He's probably acting out of guilt MountCleaners Jan 2017 #28
BINGO. Write a check & convince himself he's "done something" instead of doing the hard work Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #36
Bullshit!!! CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #120
+ 100 .. N/t obnoxiousdrunk Jan 2017 #143
I do too since he could have left her a quarter and treated her like shit nini Jan 2017 #95
"Thanks for knowing your place and doing your job!" RedWedge Jan 2017 #6
THIS oldtime dfl_er Jan 2017 #10
+1 n/t blue cat Jan 2017 #79
exactly JI7 Jan 2017 #129
'different cultures'? wtf spanone Jan 2017 #11
I'm white and was born and raised in a blue state in New England alllove Jan 2017 #13
Oh give it up already. Welcome to DU enjoy your stay. Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #15
Thank you alllove Jan 2017 #20
A lot of Rex Jan 2017 #91
bullshit. we're all americans.....ever heard that before? spanone Jan 2017 #16
I don't identify with all Americans alllove Jan 2017 #18
So you identify with what you consider center-right or right? Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #32
Yep. But but but...he gave her a lot of money! Rex Jan 2017 #23
Um. FUCK HIM. You don't get to write a check and take away my gender. You don't Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #14
Exactly! JenniferJuniper Jan 2017 #26
+1 lunamagica Jan 2017 #125
Are you saying she should give it back? Would you in her position? nt kelly1mm Jan 2017 #42
The onus is upon his action. Like hell will you find me judging her. That's his game. Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #46
Great so she gets to kepp the money. nt kelly1mm Jan 2017 #69
This. Nt Quayblue Jan 2017 #77
The responses here are ridiculous. It was a nice gesture and a nice message. Oneironaut Jan 2017 #19
Says the white guy. The crowd at FOXnewz sure seemed to think it was great. Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #30
How did he deny her culture and gender? Oneironaut Jan 2017 #50
I just told you. It's up to you to read for comprehension. Maru Kitteh Jan 2017 #58
And where did you give any evidence? Oneironaut Jan 2017 #62
Except he didn't tell her she needed to smile more mythology Jan 2017 #75
this nt calendargirl Jan 2017 #100
Post removed Post removed Jan 2017 #144
I agree. He gets to brag about voting for Trump but now he's a hero. yardwork Jan 2017 #148
"Ridiculous"? JenniferJuniper Jan 2017 #35
How was it not supportive? Oneironaut Jan 2017 #51
No he wasn't. JenniferJuniper Jan 2017 #53
Was the waitress offended? Oneironaut Jan 2017 #54
I'm sure she was thrilled with the money. JenniferJuniper Jan 2017 #61
So, you've decided to jump in and be offended for her? Oneironaut Jan 2017 #65
If she was thrilled with the money Dorian Gray Jan 2017 #145
Gosh. I would be happy to get notes like this all day. fescuerescue Jan 2017 #66
He's a racist misogynist because of his Trump vote Bradical79 Jan 2017 #81
That's engaging in binary thinking. Oneironaut Jan 2017 #83
They were not "duped" Bradical79 Jan 2017 #86
I disagree. I think most wanted to be part of a movement, Oneironaut Jan 2017 #87
He used their racism to distract from other issues Bradical79 Jan 2017 #88
You are also correct. For some, it was about the "brown boogieman." Oneironaut Jan 2017 #89
Thinking like this will lead to another disaster in upcoming elections... Baconator Jan 2017 #92
Nonsense -nt Bradical79 Jan 2017 #96
BULL FUCKIN SHIT !!! Comey, Voter suppression and Russia you can got with non reality I'd rather uponit7771 Jan 2017 #105
+1 uponit7771 Jan 2017 #104
They don't get the benefit of the doubt, they took that away with their votes. FUCK THAT !! I don't uponit7771 Jan 2017 #101
+1. Some people need to pintobean Jan 2017 #84
NO ONE should be agreeing with overt bigotry or give people who do agree with the benefit of doubt uponit7771 Jan 2017 #106
:yawn: pintobean Jan 2017 #130
Yeap, yawn to bigotry... figured we'd have some people who aren't bothered by it post their true... uponit7771 Jan 2017 #131
My true feelings? pintobean Jan 2017 #135
You yawned to a post about bigotry, this was not a post about disagreement... good try though uponit7771 Jan 2017 #137
:yawn: pintobean Jan 2017 #139
Unfortunately I and many others can't afford to yawn at bigotry, I'll fight it to my last breath uponit7771 Jan 2017 #140
If he was really nice he would've given the money without the note Merlot Jan 2017 #113
Oh the poor White Texas Man's Burden! Rex Jan 2017 #22
Small scale imperialism samir.g Jan 2017 #27
Right on. The asshole should have kept his filthy lucre to himself. WillowTree Jan 2017 #57
Very nice. braddy Jan 2017 #29
I'm glad he wants to be inclusive. Here's a picture of his dental staff. Buckeye_Democrat Jan 2017 #31
Even his name is White...... Tanuki Jan 2017 #33
That pic will probably get him more followers here on DU. Rex Jan 2017 #90
LOL. They do have great smiles. n/t Tatiana Jan 2017 #98
Trump Guilt erpowers Jan 2017 #37
+1, I know people with it written on their faces !!! uponit7771 Jan 2017 #103
I know a few people who voted for Trump MountCleaners Jan 2017 #38
+1, I do too and the guilt is written on their faces !!! uponit7771 Jan 2017 #107
The "we may come from different cultures" thing MountCleaners Jan 2017 #39
I don't get it... Baconator Jan 2017 #72
Judas got 30 pieces of silver maxrandb Jan 2017 #40
Amen uponit7771 Jan 2017 #109
Great post! n/t VespertineIconoclast Jan 2017 #128
The replies and attitudes here sometimes.. SQUEE Jan 2017 #43
Forget it, Jake. It's General Discussion. Dr. Strange Jan 2017 #97
lol n/t orleans Jan 2017 #123
My wife and I go out to eat at least once a week madokie Jan 2017 #45
Wow. califootman Jan 2017 #48
I'm sure he's not reading this MountCleaners Jan 2017 #49
I'm sure he's not reading this, too. califootman Jan 2017 #52
We're all entitled to our own opinions True Dough Jan 2017 #55
But but but... calendargirl Jan 2017 #99
Don't take this personally, but... True Dough Jan 2017 #111
Yes, I think they both enjoyed each others company and he showed it the best way he could from his stevenleser Jan 2017 #122
The waitress gets to decide VoicesAcrossAmerica Jan 2017 #56
Yes. Exactly what I was going to post. Inkfreak Jan 2017 #150
Come together, NO...No one got paid to March Against Trump.... Tikki Jan 2017 #59
+1 uponit7771 Jan 2017 #138
The gesture reeks of guilt and paternalism Lanius Jan 2017 #60
+1 uponit7771 Jan 2017 #136
Nice tip, but spare us the self-righteous sermon . . . hatrack Jan 2017 #64
I don't think it was intended for mass publication. fescuerescue Jan 2017 #67
Then how did it end up in the Post? hatrack Jan 2017 #68
Looks like either the waitress or the restaurant published it fescuerescue Jan 2017 #70
Matthew 6:5-6 hatrack Jan 2017 #71
I am sure that she liked the tip HoneyBadger Jan 2017 #73
Here is a big tip...and I will match it with a donation to Planned Parenthood. Tikki Jan 2017 #85
And that still wouldn't be good enough. calendargirl Jan 2017 #102
Honestly, I agree with everything you wrote. Tikki Jan 2017 #110
I thought it came off as condescending as hell. I'm glad she got the dough, but, ugh. catbyte Jan 2017 #76
Come from different cultures??? Is she American? Or is he denying that because, you know? Squinch Jan 2017 #93
There are different cultures within this country MichMary Jan 2017 #153
It's a kind gesture. romanic Jan 2017 #108
I don't accept enabling of bigotry of any kind no matter the gestures behind it. uponit7771 Jan 2017 #134
This looks like guilt money. Covering for the racist predator and chief. Lint Head Jan 2017 #112
it's not going to make your vote for an openly bigoted piece of shit go away JI7 Jan 2017 #115
+1 uponit7771 Jan 2017 #133
So let me get this straight.... CajunBlazer Jan 2017 #124
the Trump supporter was trying to cover or excuse his support for the bigoted piece of shit JI7 Jan 2017 #127
The progressive enables bigotry?!?! REALLY?! So soon DU "forgets" MiniPoots bigoted campaign !!! uponit7771 Jan 2017 #132
"We just screwed you, so here's a little gesture.. Amimnoch Jan 2017 #141
Good point about the positive reinforcement training. yardwork Jan 2017 #149
Yeap.. the guilt is evident uponit7771 Jan 2017 #155
If you want to be nice MountCleaners Jan 2017 #146
#fakenews. stonecutter357 Jan 2017 #151

oldtime dfl_er

(6,930 posts)
1. call me a cynic
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 01:59 PM
Jan 2017

but I call white privilege. I know many will disagree with me. But the fact that he needed to pen a little lecture and then append that with a GOD BLESS tells me this guy is a creep.

Feel free to disagree.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
21. I'm glad I discarded cynicism for its own sake some years back...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:42 PM
Jan 2017

I'm glad I discarded cynicism for its own sake some years back... it certainly inhibits joy for the small things in life.

Yet it does allow us to feel trendy and gives a pretense of cleverness, so I suppose I'm missing out on that as well.


What to do... what to do...

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
24. He wanted to make her feel small. Typical really.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:48 PM
Jan 2017

This Texas white man has grown up watching it all his life. Yeah the God Bless was more like a FU, imo.

CajunBlazer

(5,648 posts)
118. With a tip like that he can make feel small any day of the week
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 01:07 AM
Jan 2017

The only way that this story could have gotten in the press is if the waitress publicized it. She was obviously thrilled and thought it was a great gesture.

If she thinks so, who in the hell are you to believe differently. You weren't there to witness the interaction. Heavens, you have a poor opinion of people.

 

yeoman6987

(14,449 posts)
34. I thought it was beautiful
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:48 PM
Jan 2017

So much ugliness in the world and these guys made it better. God bless is right. I wish more would do this.

Kingofalldems

(38,360 posts)
44. Well of course you did yeoman6987.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:40 PM
Jan 2017

I see it a a passive aggressive note with the message being we are going to make you hurt because we owe it to you.

This was beautiful too?

CajunBlazer

(5,648 posts)
116. That is a ridiculous statement
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 01:01 AM
Jan 2017

Are you saying that anyone who doesn't share your politics or your candidate (regardless if he is a sorry human being) can't be a good person and have honorable intentions?

If your answer to that question is yes, and you identify as a progressive, then I don't want to be called a progressive.

Alice11111

(5,730 posts)
126. If we can't recognize when someone is trying, from a
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 02:33 AM
Jan 2017

"different culture," In his own way, and he recognizes it, we are just as hypocritical as the Trumpsters. Would you critics feel better if he had written the note and left no tip?
This critical response feels like no self awareness, no recognition of your own bias, scary.

shadowrider

(4,941 posts)
94. Seconded
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 08:41 PM
Jan 2017

Someone does something good and is vilified for it.

I once went into a Red Lobster and left the young (black) server a $50 tip on a bill that was $27.93. She was friendly, outgoing and exceptional.

Maybe I should have checked my white privilege and only given her 15% percent ($4.18). I looked at her as an individual, not as a collective. She was worthy of the $ in her pocket.

 

Amimnoch

(4,558 posts)
142. I've done the same, but did it without the lecture.
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 06:33 AM
Jan 2017

I've done that a few times as well. Especially during the holiday season, I try to do it a few times.

The question isn't about leaving such a great tip for someone who is likely scrapping by in the service industry. That part is GREAT.

The question is the message and the motives. His message basically thanking her for being such a good sport about being screwed over. Here's a little litmus test: Do you think, for one second, that they'd have left a tip like that had all parties been in a good mood, but Hillary, or Bernie had won? As I'd posted down thread, based on the very message they wrote on it, the tip wasn't about her great service, it was rewarding her for her for her good behavior after they "won". Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? There was an episode where Sheldon would give Penny a chocholate every time she behaved in a way that he deemed appropriate. He wasn't doing it to be nice, he was doing it to use positive reinforcement conditioning so that she would continue to behave in a way that he deemed acceptable.

hamsterjill

(15,214 posts)
47. As a Texan, it sounds like one of the "good ole" boys to me.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:46 PM
Jan 2017

It sounds sexist to me. So, if she hadn't smiled and been kind, but rather had simply been efficient and done her job well, would she have gotten the tip?

If she had been male, would she have gotten a tip like that?

It sounds to me like he is rewarding her for behaving as HE saw fit that she should behave. That's the part that bugs me. Make no mistake, though, she should take the money.

Call me an OLD cynic.

brush

(53,467 posts)
78. IMO it was a patronizing gesture made more to make him feel good about himself...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:39 PM
Jan 2017

Last edited Wed Jan 25, 2017, 08:28 PM - Edit history (1)

Sub-concious white guilt, you know. But I'm happy for the waitress.

CajunBlazer

(5,648 posts)
119. Hell, he ought to feel good about himself
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 01:10 AM
Jan 2017

I feel good about him. Remember, opinions are like assholes..... And some resemble assholes more than others.

 

Bradical79

(4,490 posts)
80. Don't know I'd say "creep"...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:49 PM
Jan 2017

White and rich privlige I'd agree with though. While they made a kind and helpful gesture to an individual, they still screwed over millions, costing society much more than they gave her. That waitress is going to lose quite a bit more than $450 from their decision.

oldtime dfl_er

(6,930 posts)
82. yes
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:56 PM
Jan 2017

"Creep" was the wrong word. I was writing in haste. Maybe a word that would more correctly reflect my personal opinion is bombastic.

Raster

(20,996 posts)
152. I don't see white privilege, nor do I sense "lecturey"...
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 09:06 AM
Jan 2017

...although money and privilege can certainly be used as a weapon. Nope. I sense someone may had their own personal epiphany, that started with a most positive attitude and wonderful smile, and was moved to respond.

When I see a glass half-full, I prefer to see it as half-full, and I also prefer to see it as WATER, until my senses tell me otherwise.

get the red out

(13,458 posts)
63. I am left without hope
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:15 PM
Jan 2017

He left her money, and was nice to her; but he still supports Trump, whose policies will harm hard-working people, women, and minorities. This lady was all three.

I'm not quite a cynic, I don't think the guys that left her the tip are bad guys, but they are blinded to a lot of reality.

MadCrow

(155 posts)
12. Some things should be taken at face value.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:14 PM
Jan 2017

It's hard to know what is in a person's heart, and viewing the situation as an observer, we need something more concrete than just our own personal feelings before we impugn someone's motives. Think positive.

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
17. At face value it's paternalistic, misogyinistic bullshit with racist overtones.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:33 PM
Jan 2017

And that we can be positive about, because it's right there on pen and paper.

 

JCanete

(5,272 posts)
25. It really is like sayng "you're one of the good ones."
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:03 PM
Jan 2017

Credit where its due, a man who could afford it parted with 450 dollars, to somebody who could definitely use it more than he can. He liked this person, which is a good sign on some level. He even has some level of associated guilt. That he is attempting to buy that off of himself and at the same time sell his brand to black people as if they're the ones who have him all wrong, seems to be the subtext here.

There's no reason to be overly negative about his overture I guess, but it shouldn't be worthy of a puff piece about the generosity and graciousness of Trump supporters.

MountCleaners

(1,148 posts)
28. He's probably acting out of guilt
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:12 PM
Jan 2017

He needs to get over himself and maybe learn why Trump is unpopular with black people. That would do a lot more good than a patronizing tip. He has learned nothing.

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
36. BINGO. Write a check & convince himself he's "done something" instead of doing the hard work
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:51 PM
Jan 2017

of listening.

nini

(16,670 posts)
95. I do too since he could have left her a quarter and treated her like shit
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 08:51 PM
Jan 2017

Maybe just maybe his experience was good and he was happy it was since I'm sure he hasn't had a whole lot of contact with black folks. I can only hope that experience made him think a bit. I don't know because I wasn't there and know him.

Being I was not there and do not know any of them all I'll say is I'm glad he left her a fat tip. Waitress'ing is one tough job.

RedWedge

(618 posts)
6. "Thanks for knowing your place and doing your job!"
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:02 PM
Jan 2017

"Thanks for not getting all identity politics at us! That's so messy!"

 

alllove

(41 posts)
13. I'm white and was born and raised in a blue state in New England
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:18 PM
Jan 2017

The culture is different even for a white person compared to culture in Texas.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
91. A lot of
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:50 PM
Jan 2017

low post count newbies piping in. What is sad is to see the ones with thousands of posts sounding just like the newbies! Their pretend innocence didn't get by a single one of us - there is hope imo.

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
32. So you identify with what you consider center-right or right?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:41 PM
Jan 2017

You said you don't identify with "far" right. What is the "far" right?

What do you identify with on right-wing and/or center-right?


Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
14. Um. FUCK HIM. You don't get to write a check and take away my gender. You don't
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:28 PM
Jan 2017

get to write a check and take away anyone's heritage or my cultural identity.

FUCK YOU rich dentist buddy, trying to buy a clear conscience for the racism and misogyny you FUCKING KNOW VERY WELL you voted for. FUCK YOU for trying to pay your way out of being a racist. Your note is racist, misogynist and absolutely dripping with paternalism.

JenniferJuniper

(4,495 posts)
26. Exactly!
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:09 PM
Jan 2017

Dripping with condescension and paternalism.

I think if some people have never actually experienced this sort of treatment in their lives, they may not be able to see it for what it really is.

Fuck him!

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
46. The onus is upon his action. Like hell will you find me judging her. That's his game.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:44 PM
Jan 2017

Oh, and let's not forget - It was her JOB to be nice to him.

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
19. The responses here are ridiculous. It was a nice gesture and a nice message.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:39 PM
Jan 2017

You know politics has gone to absurd extremes when giving money and writing a message about coming together as one becomes a villainous act by a racist misogynist.

How dare he give that waitress money and write a supportive note to her!? The nerve!

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
30. Says the white guy. The crowd at FOXnewz sure seemed to think it was great.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:38 PM
Jan 2017

Man tells woman be nice and smile more = fucking misogynist nails on a goddamned chalkboard.

Rich white man writes big check and a nice little lecture denying young black woman her gender and culture. That's what NOT gender NOT race means.

Of COURSE the fucking FOXnewz crowd ate it up. Look at our Dear Leader's wonderful new America!

Hell, this asshole hit the fucking trifecta. He put a woman in her place, he put a PoC in their place, AND he got to come off as some kind of John Fucking Wayne white guy hero doing it.

FOXnewz CHEERS!

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
58. I just told you. It's up to you to read for comprehension.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:09 PM
Jan 2017

But I harbor deep skepticism that you have any genuine interest in listening or learning here about the realities of life for women or PoC and how they are treated by rich white guys and the FOXnewz crowd.



Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
62. And where did you give any evidence?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:15 PM
Jan 2017

You only said that he denied her culture and gender without providing evidence. You also said that he wrote to "be nice and smile more," which he did not. He said that, if everybody smiled as much as the waitress, the world would be a better place. You're twisting the words around, and making this about race and gender.

 

mythology

(9,527 posts)
75. Except he didn't tell her she needed to smile more
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:19 PM
Jan 2017

He thanked her for sharing her smile. Maybe that's super secret code, but it certainly isn't expressly telling her to smile more.

You're clearly looking at this through a particular prism, that and using lots of profanity doesn't actually inherently make you right.

Response to Maru Kitteh (Reply #30)

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
51. How was it not supportive?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:58 PM
Jan 2017

He seemed to be trying to reach out to someone with a different viewpoint. This hardly seems as bad as posters are making it out to be.

JenniferJuniper

(4,495 posts)
53. No he wasn't.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:03 PM
Jan 2017

As many other posters have tried to explain to you it is condescending and paternalistic.

You don't agree. I get that. But maybe, just maybe, you should pause and give some thought as to why a female of color in the US might be deeply offended by this kind of BS.

He could have just left the tip.

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
65. So, you've decided to jump in and be offended for her?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:16 PM
Jan 2017

How she feels doesn't matter?

Has anyone thought to ask the waitress how she feels?

Dorian Gray

(13,469 posts)
145. If she was thrilled with the money
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 07:29 AM
Jan 2017

and happy with the note (who publicized this, by the way? The waitress or the customer?), then so be it.

I agree that it has slight tones of condescension, but ultimately she was the one who was addressed and who received the money. Manufacturing outrage over this isn't worth it, especially when there is so much else in this world to actually be angry about and fight for.

fescuerescue

(4,448 posts)
66. Gosh. I would be happy to get notes like this all day.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:29 PM
Jan 2017

One could make a nice living getting unsupportive $450 notes.
 

Bradical79

(4,490 posts)
81. He's a racist misogynist because of his Trump vote
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:52 PM
Jan 2017

I really don't care that this person comitted a single act of kindess after participating in such a destructive act.

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
83. That's engaging in binary thinking.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:01 PM
Jan 2017

Most Trump supporters aren't bad people. They've been duped by a con-artist.

Why not focus on the act itself? Why stop at just who a person voted for?

 

Bradical79

(4,490 posts)
86. They were not "duped"
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:14 PM
Jan 2017

They were not "duped", they went in knowing exactly what Trump was all about. Just the fact that they guiltily hid their Trump hat in that particular establishment says alot.

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
87. I disagree. I think most wanted to be part of a movement,
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:18 PM
Jan 2017

And were completely ignorant what it stood for. Many of these people are on Obamacare, are on Medicaid, despise Wall Street, and want security. Trump sold them all of these in a vial of snake oil.

Notice how Trump never mentioned what he was going to do during his candidacy? This is why. He duped America with a pipe dream that he has no intention of working towards.

 

Bradical79

(4,490 posts)
88. He used their racism to distract from other issues
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:24 PM
Jan 2017

Racism was the main focus of his campaign and they ate it up. So yes, I suppose they were duped on some issues. When it came down to it, they willingly ignored a great deal of what Trump and his advisors were actually saying concerning themselves, and knowingly voted to hurt people.

Oneironaut

(5,461 posts)
89. You are also correct. For some, it was about the "brown boogieman."
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:27 PM
Jan 2017

Dog-whistling Mexicans and "welfare queens" is a GOP greatest hit. I don't think all Trump voters felt this way, but a bunch did.

I'm still not comfortable with stereotyping all Trump voters this way. People were duped by Trump in many ways, imo.

uponit7771

(90,225 posts)
105. BULL FUCKIN SHIT !!! Comey, Voter suppression and Russia you can got with non reality I'd rather
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:48 PM
Jan 2017

.... not normalize racist fucks.

uponit7771

(90,225 posts)
101. They don't get the benefit of the doubt, they took that away with their votes. FUCK THAT !! I don't
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:45 PM
Jan 2017

... owe bigotry shit.

 

pintobean

(18,101 posts)
84. +1. Some people need to
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 07:11 PM
Jan 2017

knock people they disagree with politically, no matter what. It's really sad that such a good deed is met with this much criticism here. It makes DU suck.

uponit7771

(90,225 posts)
131. Yeap, yawn to bigotry... figured we'd have some people who aren't bothered by it post their true...
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 06:07 AM
Jan 2017

... feelings by now

 

pintobean

(18,101 posts)
135. My true feelings?
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 06:11 AM
Jan 2017

I don't accuse everyone I disagree with of being a bigot. That would make me a bigot.

Merlot

(9,696 posts)
113. If he was really nice he would've given the money without the note
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:58 PM
Jan 2017

A true gift with no strings attached, no explinations.

 

Rex

(65,616 posts)
22. Oh the poor White Texas Man's Burden!
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 02:45 PM
Jan 2017

I apologize for some of my fellow Texans thinking everyone owes them something just by merely existing and residing in Texas. Not all of us are like that.

As for the tip, who cares he makes a shitload of money and can easily afford the tip. Just more Poor White Man's Burden crap in this Texas white man's opinion.

samir.g

(835 posts)
27. Small scale imperialism
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 03:09 PM
Jan 2017

"Nice work serving us, so here's a small material reward, and by the way we are absorbing you into our group. You are one of the good darkies."

WillowTree

(5,325 posts)
57. Right on. The asshole should have kept his filthy lucre to himself.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:08 PM
Jan 2017

That would show that waitress what’s what.

erpowers

(9,350 posts)
37. Trump Guilt
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:12 PM
Jan 2017

I wonder if this tip had anything to do with getting rid of guilt over voting for Donald Trump. Maybe he is just a really nice guy, but he does not seem to be the strongest Trump supporter. He ditched that Trump hat the moment he could see a chance for some resistance. Do we have the case of someone who thinks if they give a big tip to one person, or if they give a few big tips to a few people that makes up for his voting for Donald Trump? Is he trying to say to himself and the world, "see I am a nice guy".

MountCleaners

(1,148 posts)
38. I know a few people who voted for Trump
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:17 PM
Jan 2017

...and since they live in or near Chicago, they are REALLY self-conscious about their choice, really defensive. They are too aware of how unpopular Trump is with black people, and it's causing cognitive dissonance.

MountCleaners

(1,148 posts)
39. The "we may come from different cultures" thing
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:18 PM
Jan 2017

...that bothered me. African-American culture IS American culture. These people self-segregate so much!

Baconator

(1,459 posts)
72. I don't get it...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:57 PM
Jan 2017

American culture has a wide spectrum of sub-cultures that vary significantly. They all share some common traits as part of that larger culture but there is a world of difference between someone who grew up in Harlem and someone who grew up in rural Idaho.

Who would deny this?

maxrandb

(15,188 posts)
40. Judas got 30 pieces of silver
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:24 PM
Jan 2017

$450 seems a paltry sum to pay off racism, hatred, bigotry, misogyny and greed.

and some here say; "what a nice gesture".

You know what would be a "nice gesture"?

- Not supporting a candidate and party that thinks Ms. Harris doesn't deserve a living wage would be a "nice gesture"
- Not supporting a party that believes $2.75 an hour is sufficient and doesn't need to be raised would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a President who is appointing a guy as Labor Secretary that probably thinks Ms. Harris is making too much money, and should work overtime, just for the "sense of accomplishment" it gives her...that would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a party whose spokes-mouth just described Ms. Harris as a "stupid twat" on over 600 radio stations would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a party that describes Ms. Harris and those who look like her as "animals and savages" would be a "nice gesture"

Unless there are hundreds more out there that are going to come in and give Ms. Harris a $450 tip on a daily or weekly basis, there is no way to compensate for the election of this hate-filled bigot as President. No amount of money will change the fact that Ms. Harris, and the rest of us, will still wake up tomorrow in a country where we elected a racist, sexist pig as our leader.

I'm sure that $450 will provide comfort as her rights are taken away, her health care is revoked, her environment is destroyed and peopled are savaged in the streets.

$450...Maybe she can put that in a Health Savings Account so that when one of her kids breaks a leg, she can cover 1/100TH of the bill.

Mr. White, a "nice gesture" would be not supporting fascism. Hope you have a lot of money laying around. It's going to take a hell of a lot more than $450 to clean the stain off your soul.

madokie

(51,076 posts)
45. My wife and I go out to eat at least once a week
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:41 PM
Jan 2017

I always tip at least10 bucks on a 35 to 40 dollar total meal
We always get good food and good service too

I always make sure I have cash for the tip as otherwise if you pay with a debit card sometimes some places won't give the waiter/waitress the tip until payday. I figure they need that tip that day.

Amazing we have 5 different places we eat at and it always cost us within a buck or two the same no matter where we eat at. I'm not talking burgers either. We eat burgers at home

califootman

(120 posts)
48. Wow.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:52 PM
Jan 2017

If we will only accept a perfect olive branch extended in the perfect manner, we will never have peace. We might as well start the Balkanization of America right now.

This guy is at least trying to understand. There is a tiny little bit of light dawning inside him. We can choose to engage him in some sort of constructive dialogue to try to foster that light and help it grow... or we can slam him for not perfectly understanding (because, of course, we all have perfect understanding) and extinguish that light for good.

Is there no hope for us?

MountCleaners

(1,148 posts)
49. I'm sure he's not reading this
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 04:55 PM
Jan 2017

But if he is, he needs to get a thicker skin. The other side is where the real "snowflakes" are, and that sensibility comes from privilege.

True Dough

(17,090 posts)
55. We're all entitled to our own opinions
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:07 PM
Jan 2017

But when I read the story what mattered to me was the perspective of the waitress. She was elated:

“You automatically assume if someone supports Trump that they have ideas about you,” she said, “but [the customer was] more embracing than even some of my more liberal friends, and there was a real authenticity in our exchange.”


So as long as she wasn't left feeling lesser or humiliated, then make good use of the extra cash and continue to feel upbeat about the interaction with those customers.

calendargirl

(191 posts)
99. But but but...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:38 PM
Jan 2017

WE are supposed to tell people when to be offended, even if they aren't-right? Especially ironic is when we white folks tell a POC that she should be spiteful toward a tip and a well intended gesture. Sigh.

True Dough

(17,090 posts)
111. Don't take this personally, but...
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:53 PM
Jan 2017



It's probably not the first time you've heard that but your username triggered the ear worm.

 

stevenleser

(32,886 posts)
122. Yes, I think they both enjoyed each others company and he showed it the best way he could from his
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 01:16 AM
Jan 2017

perspective and certainly from the perspective of the person serving him.

Anyone not agreeing with the latter part of that, ask a server what they would have thought. I was a server a couple of years back, and this would have made my evening, week and probably month.

 
56. The waitress gets to decide
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:07 PM
Jan 2017

The waitress is the one who interacted with him and received this message, and she is the one who chose to share it as an act that she appreciated. We can judge him all day long. Without the tip or message, I appreciate that he entered an establishment in his red hat, recognized that he stuck out, and chose to respect his environment and remove his hat to avoid offense.

Inkfreak

(1,695 posts)
150. Yes. Exactly what I was going to post.
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 08:53 AM
Jan 2017

All other commentary on this interaction is most definitely colored by emotions and/or ideology.

Tikki

(14,537 posts)
59. Come together, NO...No one got paid to March Against Trump....
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:10 PM
Jan 2017

Our ethics can't be bought out against their Lies and Hypocrisy.

Let's not let them frame mornings, days or 4 years of our future.


Tikki

Lanius

(599 posts)
60. The gesture reeks of guilt and paternalism
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:11 PM
Jan 2017

If Jason White really cared about equality, humanity and Christian values he wouldn't have voted for a man who has said the most bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic and sexist things any candidate has said in recent memory.

I also wonder if he was so "pro-unity" after Obama was elected in 2008?

hatrack

(59,439 posts)
64. Nice tip, but spare us the self-righteous sermon . . .
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:16 PM
Jan 2017

"Our country will come together . . . " why? Because I say so, and I'm incredibly generous?

fescuerescue

(4,448 posts)
67. I don't think it was intended for mass publication.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:30 PM
Jan 2017

Although I suppose he could be writing these notes all over town, hoping that one gets published and then discussed on DU.

hatrack

(59,439 posts)
68. Then how did it end up in the Post?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:38 PM
Jan 2017

If he really meant it, it would have been a cash ticket and a cash tip - with no hope of recognition.

Y'know, praying on the street corners and all that . . .

fescuerescue

(4,448 posts)
70. Looks like either the waitress or the restaurant published it
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:44 PM
Jan 2017

Since the image we see is the merchant copy. We can only speculate.

I don't know anything about patron. literally nothing. However not that many people, including myself carry that much cash on me.

I honestly don't know what you mean about street corners. Perhaps you could elaborate.

hatrack

(59,439 posts)
71. Matthew 6:5-6
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 05:46 PM
Jan 2017

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

calendargirl

(191 posts)
102. And that still wouldn't be good enough.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:46 PM
Jan 2017

Maybe if he gave a donation to PP AND he went to the grocery store and beat up the guy in the TRUMP hat behind him in line AND he threw a plate at his Aunt who supports Trump at Thanksgiving dinner AND he wore a Tshirt saying "kick me in the balls to punish me for my white privilege" it might be enough. Maybe.

Tikki

(14,537 posts)
110. Honestly, I agree with everything you wrote.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:52 PM
Jan 2017

There can never be enough on those racist, sexist, homophobic asses.

Tikki

catbyte

(34,168 posts)
76. I thought it came off as condescending as hell. I'm glad she got the dough, but, ugh.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 06:25 PM
Jan 2017

On edit: I'm sure he wouldn't have been all Kumbaya if his boy hadn't been the electoral college winner. He would've been pissed off that "that bitch" was in the WH right after that "awful Negro". He could afford to be magnanimous because he'll be able to see all of the programs folks like her benefits from slashed. Come to think of it, fuck him.

Squinch

(50,773 posts)
93. Come from different cultures??? Is she American? Or is he denying that because, you know?
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 08:03 PM
Jan 2017

This doesn't impress me. If he voted for Trump he has blood on his hands. A big tip doesn't fix that. And then to say that she is not part of his culture is ignorant. Deal with it dickhead, those of us who are not like you and who aren't assholes and who didn't voted for a mentally ill imbecile are part of your culture whether you like it or not.

MichMary

(1,714 posts)
153. There are different cultures within this country
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 09:14 AM
Jan 2017

Not necessarily just racial cultures but rural/urban, young/old, white collar/blue collar, college educated/high school graduate, etc.

If it weren't for the "different cultures" we would probably all agree on everything. We don't, and some of the disagreement stems from being from "different cultures."

romanic

(2,841 posts)
108. It's a kind gesture.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:50 PM
Jan 2017

The replies here though, geez tge battle lines are drawn in tears and blood it seems.

Lint Head

(15,064 posts)
112. This looks like guilt money. Covering for the racist predator and chief.
Wed Jan 25, 2017, 11:53 PM
Jan 2017

But good for the waitress.

CajunBlazer

(5,648 posts)
124. So let me get this straight....
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 01:18 AM
Jan 2017

If a Northeastern black progressive had done the exact thing, we would be would be saying he is a fantastic guy - what a kind gesture.

But if a Trump supporting Texan does it, he's scum of the earth?

JI7

(89,172 posts)
127. the Trump supporter was trying to cover or excuse his support for the bigoted piece of shit
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 02:35 AM
Jan 2017

if he had just given the tip without all the other bs it would be different.

 

Amimnoch

(4,558 posts)
141. "We just screwed you, so here's a little gesture..
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 06:20 AM
Jan 2017

Since you're so nice about it."

Had they written:
"Thank you for your GREAT service, and conversation!" Or some similar message, I'd say it was a great gesture.

They made it all about: We won; we know everyone like you is screwed because we won; since you're being nice about it, here's a token of our appreciation."

It reminds me of the episode of Big Bang Theory where sheldon would give Penny a chocholate every time she behaved in a way the met with his approval for positive reinforcement conditioning.

MountCleaners

(1,148 posts)
146. If you want to be nice
Thu Jan 26, 2017, 08:07 AM
Jan 2017

Leave a large tip, leave a note, but as someone who once worked in the service industry, I'd feel a bit guilty about accepting $450. I received a large tip once and gave half of it to charity because I didn't feel it was deserved. I'm not moralizing about the waitress, but a tip that large demands a gratitude that no one should have to feel.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»A white Trump voter expla...