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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA white Trump voter explains why he was inspired to leave a black waitress a $450 tip
and an uplifting noteWhen Jason White walked into Busboys and Poets Monday morning, a Washington restaurant that promotes social justice, he looked around and told his friend he might want to remove his red Make America Great Again cap.
The three white Texan men knew they stuck out in a place where African-American art and images cover the walls. And White said he could sense when his waitress greeted them that she knew they did too.
But Rosalynd Harris had arrived at work that morning still high off the energy from the Womens March. Her customers Saturday had been abuzz with an optimism that was contagious.
So she was especially cheery when she greeted White and his two friends. They chatted warmly. They told her they were from West Texas. White is a dentist and he complimented her on her smile. They were jovial and fun.
Harris admits that White was right. She did prejudge them, by instantly assuming they were in town for President Trumps inauguration by appearance alone, even though by that point the signature red baseball cap at been tucked away.
When the men finished their meals White decided to leave Harris, a 25-year-old African American woman, a personal message on the receipt. Then, after he wrote it, he left a $450 tip on their $72.60 bill, which is a nearly 625 percent tip.
More :WaPo
Link to tweet
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oldtime dfl_er
(6,930 posts)but I call white privilege. I know many will disagree with me. But the fact that he needed to pen a little lecture and then append that with a GOD BLESS tells me this guy is a creep.
Feel free to disagree.
HipChick
(25,485 posts)NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)I am glad they got some extra money.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)I'm glad I discarded cynicism for its own sake some years back... it certainly inhibits joy for the small things in life.
Yet it does allow us to feel trendy and gives a pretense of cleverness, so I suppose I'm missing out on that as well.
What to do... what to do...
cwydro
(51,308 posts)I actually agree with you for once!
Rex
(65,616 posts)This Texas white man has grown up watching it all his life. Yeah the God Bless was more like a FU, imo.
CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)The only way that this story could have gotten in the press is if the waitress publicized it. She was obviously thrilled and thought it was a great gesture.
If she thinks so, who in the hell are you to believe differently. You weren't there to witness the interaction. Heavens, you have a poor opinion of people.
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)So much ugliness in the world and these guys made it better. God bless is right. I wish more would do this.
Kingofalldems
(38,360 posts)I see it a a passive aggressive note with the message being we are going to make you hurt because we owe it to you.
This was beautiful too?
CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)Are you saying that anyone who doesn't share your politics or your candidate (regardless if he is a sorry human being) can't be a good person and have honorable intentions?
If your answer to that question is yes, and you identify as a progressive, then I don't want to be called a progressive.
Alice11111
(5,730 posts)"different culture," In his own way, and he recognizes it, we are just as hypocritical as the Trumpsters. Would you critics feel better if he had written the note and left no tip?
This critical response feels like no self awareness, no recognition of your own bias, scary.
shadowrider
(4,941 posts)Someone does something good and is vilified for it.
I once went into a Red Lobster and left the young (black) server a $50 tip on a bill that was $27.93. She was friendly, outgoing and exceptional.
Maybe I should have checked my white privilege and only given her 15% percent ($4.18). I looked at her as an individual, not as a collective. She was worthy of the $ in her pocket.
CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)Amimnoch
(4,558 posts)I've done that a few times as well. Especially during the holiday season, I try to do it a few times.
The question isn't about leaving such a great tip for someone who is likely scrapping by in the service industry. That part is GREAT.
The question is the message and the motives. His message basically thanking her for being such a good sport about being screwed over. Here's a little litmus test: Do you think, for one second, that they'd have left a tip like that had all parties been in a good mood, but Hillary, or Bernie had won? As I'd posted down thread, based on the very message they wrote on it, the tip wasn't about her great service, it was rewarding her for her for her good behavior after they "won". Do you watch the Big Bang Theory? There was an episode where Sheldon would give Penny a chocholate every time she behaved in a way that he deemed appropriate. He wasn't doing it to be nice, he was doing it to use positive reinforcement conditioning so that she would continue to behave in a way that he deemed acceptable.
Glassunion
(10,201 posts)hamsterjill
(15,214 posts)It sounds sexist to me. So, if she hadn't smiled and been kind, but rather had simply been efficient and done her job well, would she have gotten the tip?
If she had been male, would she have gotten a tip like that?
It sounds to me like he is rewarding her for behaving as HE saw fit that she should behave. That's the part that bugs me. Make no mistake, though, she should take the money.
Call me an OLD cynic.
brush
(53,467 posts)Last edited Wed Jan 25, 2017, 08:28 PM - Edit history (1)
Sub-concious white guilt, you know. But I'm happy for the waitress.
CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)I feel good about him. Remember, opinions are like assholes..... And some resemble assholes more than others.
brush
(53,467 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)lulz
yardwork
(61,408 posts)MrScorpio
(73,626 posts)FDT.
Bradical79
(4,490 posts)White and rich privlige I'd agree with though. While they made a kind and helpful gesture to an individual, they still screwed over millions, costing society much more than they gave her. That waitress is going to lose quite a bit more than $450 from their decision.
oldtime dfl_er
(6,930 posts)"Creep" was the wrong word. I was writing in haste. Maybe a word that would more correctly reflect my personal opinion is bombastic.
former9thward
(31,800 posts)Raster
(20,996 posts)...although money and privilege can certainly be used as a weapon. Nope. I sense someone may had their own personal epiphany, that started with a most positive attitude and wonderful smile, and was moved to respond.
When I see a glass half-full, I prefer to see it as half-full, and I also prefer to see it as WATER, until my senses tell me otherwise.
This I find very hopeful. Thank you for posting.
get the red out
(13,458 posts)He left her money, and was nice to her; but he still supports Trump, whose policies will harm hard-working people, women, and minorities. This lady was all three.
I'm not quite a cynic, I don't think the guys that left her the tip are bad guys, but they are blinded to a lot of reality.
alllove
(41 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)bdamomma
(63,650 posts)as a kind gesture.
MadCrow
(155 posts)It's hard to know what is in a person's heart, and viewing the situation as an observer, we need something more concrete than just our own personal feelings before we impugn someone's motives. Think positive.
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)And that we can be positive about, because it's right there on pen and paper.
JCanete
(5,272 posts)Credit where its due, a man who could afford it parted with 450 dollars, to somebody who could definitely use it more than he can. He liked this person, which is a good sign on some level. He even has some level of associated guilt. That he is attempting to buy that off of himself and at the same time sell his brand to black people as if they're the ones who have him all wrong, seems to be the subtext here.
There's no reason to be overly negative about his overture I guess, but it shouldn't be worthy of a puff piece about the generosity and graciousness of Trump supporters.
MountCleaners
(1,148 posts)He needs to get over himself and maybe learn why Trump is unpopular with black people. That would do a lot more good than a patronizing tip. He has learned nothing.
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)of listening.
CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)That's the definition of your post.
obnoxiousdrunk
(2,906 posts)nini
(16,670 posts)Maybe just maybe his experience was good and he was happy it was since I'm sure he hasn't had a whole lot of contact with black folks. I can only hope that experience made him think a bit. I don't know because I wasn't there and know him.
Being I was not there and do not know any of them all I'll say is I'm glad he left her a fat tip. Waitress'ing is one tough job.
RedWedge
(618 posts)"Thanks for not getting all identity politics at us! That's so messy!"
oldtime dfl_er
(6,930 posts).
spanone
(135,632 posts)alllove
(41 posts)The culture is different even for a white person compared to culture in Texas.
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)alllove
(41 posts)I think
Rex
(65,616 posts)low post count newbies piping in. What is sad is to see the ones with thousands of posts sounding just like the newbies! Their pretend innocence didn't get by a single one of us - there is hope imo.
spanone
(135,632 posts)alllove
(41 posts)Far right for example .
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)You said you don't identify with "far" right. What is the "far" right?
What do you identify with on right-wing and/or center-right?
Rex
(65,616 posts)Poor Texas White Man.
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)get to write a check and take away anyone's heritage or my cultural identity.
FUCK YOU rich dentist buddy, trying to buy a clear conscience for the racism and misogyny you FUCKING KNOW VERY WELL you voted for. FUCK YOU for trying to pay your way out of being a racist. Your note is racist, misogynist and absolutely dripping with paternalism.
JenniferJuniper
(4,495 posts)Dripping with condescension and paternalism.
I think if some people have never actually experienced this sort of treatment in their lives, they may not be able to see it for what it really is.
Fuck him!
lunamagica
(9,967 posts)kelly1mm
(4,719 posts)Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)Oh, and let's not forget - It was her JOB to be nice to him.
kelly1mm
(4,719 posts)Quayblue
(1,045 posts)Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)You know politics has gone to absurd extremes when giving money and writing a message about coming together as one becomes a villainous act by a racist misogynist.
How dare he give that waitress money and write a supportive note to her!? The nerve!
Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)Man tells woman be nice and smile more = fucking misogynist nails on a goddamned chalkboard.
Rich white man writes big check and a nice little lecture denying young black woman her gender and culture. That's what NOT gender NOT race means.
Of COURSE the fucking FOXnewz crowd ate it up. Look at our Dear Leader's wonderful new America!
Hell, this asshole hit the fucking trifecta. He put a woman in her place, he put a PoC in their place, AND he got to come off as some kind of John Fucking Wayne white guy hero doing it.
FOXnewz CHEERS!
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)Maru Kitteh
(28,303 posts)But I harbor deep skepticism that you have any genuine interest in listening or learning here about the realities of life for women or PoC and how they are treated by rich white guys and the FOXnewz crowd.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)You only said that he denied her culture and gender without providing evidence. You also said that he wrote to "be nice and smile more," which he did not. He said that, if everybody smiled as much as the waitress, the world would be a better place. You're twisting the words around, and making this about race and gender.
mythology
(9,527 posts)He thanked her for sharing her smile. Maybe that's super secret code, but it certainly isn't expressly telling her to smile more.
You're clearly looking at this through a particular prism, that and using lots of profanity doesn't actually inherently make you right.
calendargirl
(191 posts)Response to Maru Kitteh (Reply #30)
Post removed
yardwork
(61,408 posts)Meh.
JenniferJuniper
(4,495 posts)Just a guess, you haven't lived it, have you?
That was not a "supportive" note.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)He seemed to be trying to reach out to someone with a different viewpoint. This hardly seems as bad as posters are making it out to be.
JenniferJuniper
(4,495 posts)As many other posters have tried to explain to you it is condescending and paternalistic.
You don't agree. I get that. But maybe, just maybe, you should pause and give some thought as to why a female of color in the US might be deeply offended by this kind of BS.
He could have just left the tip.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)If she was, please point out where she said she was offended.
JenniferJuniper
(4,495 posts)That doesn't make it fucking right.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)How she feels doesn't matter?
Has anyone thought to ask the waitress how she feels?
Dorian Gray
(13,469 posts)and happy with the note (who publicized this, by the way? The waitress or the customer?), then so be it.
I agree that it has slight tones of condescension, but ultimately she was the one who was addressed and who received the money. Manufacturing outrage over this isn't worth it, especially when there is so much else in this world to actually be angry about and fight for.
fescuerescue
(4,448 posts)One could make a nice living getting unsupportive $450 notes.
Bradical79
(4,490 posts)I really don't care that this person comitted a single act of kindess after participating in such a destructive act.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)Most Trump supporters aren't bad people. They've been duped by a con-artist.
Why not focus on the act itself? Why stop at just who a person voted for?
Bradical79
(4,490 posts)They were not "duped", they went in knowing exactly what Trump was all about. Just the fact that they guiltily hid their Trump hat in that particular establishment says alot.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)And were completely ignorant what it stood for. Many of these people are on Obamacare, are on Medicaid, despise Wall Street, and want security. Trump sold them all of these in a vial of snake oil.
Notice how Trump never mentioned what he was going to do during his candidacy? This is why. He duped America with a pipe dream that he has no intention of working towards.
Bradical79
(4,490 posts)Racism was the main focus of his campaign and they ate it up. So yes, I suppose they were duped on some issues. When it came down to it, they willingly ignored a great deal of what Trump and his advisors were actually saying concerning themselves, and knowingly voted to hurt people.
Oneironaut
(5,461 posts)Dog-whistling Mexicans and "welfare queens" is a GOP greatest hit. I don't think all Trump voters felt this way, but a bunch did.
I'm still not comfortable with stereotyping all Trump voters this way. People were duped by Trump in many ways, imo.
Baconator
(1,459 posts)Bradical79
(4,490 posts)uponit7771
(90,225 posts).... not normalize racist fucks.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)uponit7771
(90,225 posts)... owe bigotry shit.
pintobean
(18,101 posts)knock people they disagree with politically, no matter what. It's really sad that such a good deed is met with this much criticism here. It makes DU suck.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)uponit7771
(90,225 posts)... feelings by now
pintobean
(18,101 posts)I don't accuse everyone I disagree with of being a bigot. That would make me a bigot.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)pintobean
(18,101 posts)uponit7771
(90,225 posts)Merlot
(9,696 posts)A true gift with no strings attached, no explinations.
Rex
(65,616 posts)I apologize for some of my fellow Texans thinking everyone owes them something just by merely existing and residing in Texas. Not all of us are like that.
As for the tip, who cares he makes a shitload of money and can easily afford the tip. Just more Poor White Man's Burden crap in this Texas white man's opinion.
samir.g
(835 posts)"Nice work serving us, so here's a small material reward, and by the way we are absorbing you into our group. You are one of the good darkies."
WillowTree
(5,325 posts)That would show that waitress whats what.
braddy
(3,585 posts)Buckeye_Democrat
(14,846 posts)Tanuki
(14,893 posts)Rex
(65,616 posts)Tatiana
(14,167 posts)erpowers
(9,350 posts)I wonder if this tip had anything to do with getting rid of guilt over voting for Donald Trump. Maybe he is just a really nice guy, but he does not seem to be the strongest Trump supporter. He ditched that Trump hat the moment he could see a chance for some resistance. Do we have the case of someone who thinks if they give a big tip to one person, or if they give a few big tips to a few people that makes up for his voting for Donald Trump? Is he trying to say to himself and the world, "see I am a nice guy".
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)MountCleaners
(1,148 posts)...and since they live in or near Chicago, they are REALLY self-conscious about their choice, really defensive. They are too aware of how unpopular Trump is with black people, and it's causing cognitive dissonance.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)MountCleaners
(1,148 posts)...that bothered me. African-American culture IS American culture. These people self-segregate so much!
Baconator
(1,459 posts)American culture has a wide spectrum of sub-cultures that vary significantly. They all share some common traits as part of that larger culture but there is a world of difference between someone who grew up in Harlem and someone who grew up in rural Idaho.
Who would deny this?
maxrandb
(15,188 posts)$450 seems a paltry sum to pay off racism, hatred, bigotry, misogyny and greed.
and some here say; "what a nice gesture".
You know what would be a "nice gesture"?
- Not supporting a candidate and party that thinks Ms. Harris doesn't deserve a living wage would be a "nice gesture"
- Not supporting a party that believes $2.75 an hour is sufficient and doesn't need to be raised would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a President who is appointing a guy as Labor Secretary that probably thinks Ms. Harris is making too much money, and should work overtime, just for the "sense of accomplishment" it gives her...that would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a party whose spokes-mouth just described Ms. Harris as a "stupid twat" on over 600 radio stations would be a "nice gesture"
- Not voting for a party that describes Ms. Harris and those who look like her as "animals and savages" would be a "nice gesture"
Unless there are hundreds more out there that are going to come in and give Ms. Harris a $450 tip on a daily or weekly basis, there is no way to compensate for the election of this hate-filled bigot as President. No amount of money will change the fact that Ms. Harris, and the rest of us, will still wake up tomorrow in a country where we elected a racist, sexist pig as our leader.
I'm sure that $450 will provide comfort as her rights are taken away, her health care is revoked, her environment is destroyed and peopled are savaged in the streets.
$450...Maybe she can put that in a Health Savings Account so that when one of her kids breaks a leg, she can cover 1/100TH of the bill.
Mr. White, a "nice gesture" would be not supporting fascism. Hope you have a lot of money laying around. It's going to take a hell of a lot more than $450 to clean the stain off your soul.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)VespertineIconoclast
(1,130 posts)SQUEE
(1,315 posts)SMH
Dr. Strange
(25,898 posts)orleans
(33,986 posts)madokie
(51,076 posts)I always tip at least10 bucks on a 35 to 40 dollar total meal
We always get good food and good service too
I always make sure I have cash for the tip as otherwise if you pay with a debit card sometimes some places won't give the waiter/waitress the tip until payday. I figure they need that tip that day.
Amazing we have 5 different places we eat at and it always cost us within a buck or two the same no matter where we eat at. I'm not talking burgers either. We eat burgers at home
califootman
(120 posts)If we will only accept a perfect olive branch extended in the perfect manner, we will never have peace. We might as well start the Balkanization of America right now.
This guy is at least trying to understand. There is a tiny little bit of light dawning inside him. We can choose to engage him in some sort of constructive dialogue to try to foster that light and help it grow... or we can slam him for not perfectly understanding (because, of course, we all have perfect understanding) and extinguish that light for good.
Is there no hope for us?
MountCleaners
(1,148 posts)But if he is, he needs to get a thicker skin. The other side is where the real "snowflakes" are, and that sensibility comes from privilege.
califootman
(120 posts)But then, my post wasn't speaking to him.
True Dough
(17,090 posts)But when I read the story what mattered to me was the perspective of the waitress. She was elated:
So as long as she wasn't left feeling lesser or humiliated, then make good use of the extra cash and continue to feel upbeat about the interaction with those customers.
calendargirl
(191 posts)WE are supposed to tell people when to be offended, even if they aren't-right? Especially ironic is when we white folks tell a POC that she should be spiteful toward a tip and a well intended gesture. Sigh.
True Dough
(17,090 posts)It's probably not the first time you've heard that but your username triggered the ear worm.
stevenleser
(32,886 posts)perspective and certainly from the perspective of the person serving him.
Anyone not agreeing with the latter part of that, ask a server what they would have thought. I was a server a couple of years back, and this would have made my evening, week and probably month.
VoicesAcrossAmerica
(70 posts)The waitress is the one who interacted with him and received this message, and she is the one who chose to share it as an act that she appreciated. We can judge him all day long. Without the tip or message, I appreciate that he entered an establishment in his red hat, recognized that he stuck out, and chose to respect his environment and remove his hat to avoid offense.
Inkfreak
(1,695 posts)All other commentary on this interaction is most definitely colored by emotions and/or ideology.
Tikki
(14,537 posts)Our ethics can't be bought out against their Lies and Hypocrisy.
Let's not let them frame mornings, days or 4 years of our future.
Tikki
Lanius
(599 posts)If Jason White really cared about equality, humanity and Christian values he wouldn't have voted for a man who has said the most bigoted, homophobic, xenophobic and sexist things any candidate has said in recent memory.
I also wonder if he was so "pro-unity" after Obama was elected in 2008?
hatrack
(59,439 posts)"Our country will come together . . . " why? Because I say so, and I'm incredibly generous?
fescuerescue
(4,448 posts)Although I suppose he could be writing these notes all over town, hoping that one gets published and then discussed on DU.
hatrack
(59,439 posts)If he really meant it, it would have been a cash ticket and a cash tip - with no hope of recognition.
Y'know, praying on the street corners and all that . . .
fescuerescue
(4,448 posts)Since the image we see is the merchant copy. We can only speculate.
I don't know anything about patron. literally nothing. However not that many people, including myself carry that much cash on me.
I honestly don't know what you mean about street corners. Perhaps you could elaborate.
hatrack
(59,439 posts)"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
HoneyBadger
(2,297 posts)What tip would make everyone else happy?
Tikki
(14,537 posts)Tikki
calendargirl
(191 posts)Maybe if he gave a donation to PP AND he went to the grocery store and beat up the guy in the TRUMP hat behind him in line AND he threw a plate at his Aunt who supports Trump at Thanksgiving dinner AND he wore a Tshirt saying "kick me in the balls to punish me for my white privilege" it might be enough. Maybe.
Tikki
(14,537 posts)There can never be enough on those racist, sexist, homophobic asses.
Tikki
catbyte
(34,168 posts)On edit: I'm sure he wouldn't have been all Kumbaya if his boy hadn't been the electoral college winner. He would've been pissed off that "that bitch" was in the WH right after that "awful Negro". He could afford to be magnanimous because he'll be able to see all of the programs folks like her benefits from slashed. Come to think of it, fuck him.
Squinch
(50,773 posts)This doesn't impress me. If he voted for Trump he has blood on his hands. A big tip doesn't fix that. And then to say that she is not part of his culture is ignorant. Deal with it dickhead, those of us who are not like you and who aren't assholes and who didn't voted for a mentally ill imbecile are part of your culture whether you like it or not.
MichMary
(1,714 posts)Not necessarily just racial cultures but rural/urban, young/old, white collar/blue collar, college educated/high school graduate, etc.
If it weren't for the "different cultures" we would probably all agree on everything. We don't, and some of the disagreement stems from being from "different cultures."
romanic
(2,841 posts)The replies here though, geez tge battle lines are drawn in tears and blood it seems.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)Lint Head
(15,064 posts)But good for the waitress.
JI7
(89,172 posts)CajunBlazer
(5,648 posts)If a Northeastern black progressive had done the exact thing, we would be would be saying he is a fantastic guy - what a kind gesture.
But if a Trump supporting Texan does it, he's scum of the earth?
JI7
(89,172 posts)if he had just given the tip without all the other bs it would be different.
uponit7771
(90,225 posts)Amimnoch
(4,558 posts)Since you're so nice about it."
Had they written:
"Thank you for your GREAT service, and conversation!" Or some similar message, I'd say it was a great gesture.
They made it all about: We won; we know everyone like you is screwed because we won; since you're being nice about it, here's a token of our appreciation."
It reminds me of the episode of Big Bang Theory where sheldon would give Penny a chocholate every time she behaved in a way the met with his approval for positive reinforcement conditioning.
yardwork
(61,408 posts)uponit7771
(90,225 posts)MountCleaners
(1,148 posts)Leave a large tip, leave a note, but as someone who once worked in the service industry, I'd feel a bit guilty about accepting $450. I received a large tip once and gave half of it to charity because I didn't feel it was deserved. I'm not moralizing about the waitress, but a tip that large demands a gratitude that no one should have to feel.