English majors: Can someone explain how the fuck you diagram this sentence?

[Initech]

Link to tweet

[elleng]

1. Sorry, no sentence!

[Rhiannon12866]

46. That's what I was going to say!

We learned how to diagram sentences back in seventh grade, but there's nowhere to start with this one, the parts of speech you need just aren't there...

[theglammistress]

2. I have an MA in rhetoric

I can't diagram this. In fact, I had to read it 4 times after he sent it to even understand the point. Then the Internet exploded over "easy D" and I just sighed and closed the computer.

I can't believe this idiot is president.

[WhiteTara]

6. Yeah, what is this "easy D" crap?

I had to close the computer too after that nonsensical statement. I would appreciate any clue as what #45 is trying to say.

[theglammistress]

9. Well...

he was trying to say "easy decision" but apparently "easy D" is a phrase for casual male on male sex. Grindr even replied to the tweet with a confused emoji, thus making Twitter go even more nuts.

[Leghorn21]

27. Great explanation, mistress! I couldn't think of a "couth" way of explaining it!! And I also

do believe he was going for "easy decision" and ran out of letters? Or...interest?

At any rate, the Easy D tweets have just been superior today!!

Pamela Simmons
@pamnbrad12
3h

GOP rapper names Trump: Easy D Spicer: Spice Cube Sessions: The Notorious B.I.G.O.T. Bannon: Bloatface Hitlah #EasyD


... and this so-called pres will never hear the end of this, ever!!

[stopwastingmymoney]

11. My impression was of a sports reference

D is for Defense

[theglammistress]

21. I found this - NPR annotates his tweets

http://www.npr.org/2017/01/27/511216062/president-trumps-tweets-annotated?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20170208

"Trump is again tweeting his anger about the halt on his executive order temporarily barring refugee resettlement and travelers from seven majority-Muslim countries. This week, the three-judge panel is expected to rule on the appeals court judge's decision that stopped the ban from being implemented.

By "EASY D," President Trump seems to mean "EASY DECISION," a sentiment he expressed at an event on Wednesday, where he argued that "a bad high school student would understand" his legal authority on the matter."

[canetoad]

32. I just spent five stupid minutes

Counting the characters. If a space counts as a Twitter character, there are exactly 140. Sort of like the person who starts the banner and runs out of room because the letters are too big.

[Leghorn21]

38. Ha ha ha! "canetoad the character-counter"!! I don't know if a space counts, either, not being a

tweeter m'self - but thanks for the time and effort you have exerted to get to the bottom of this "Easy D" conundrum/mystery/enigma wrapped in a puzzle thingie!

[canetoad]

43. I know

Can't believe I did that and admitted it in public.

[Denzil_DC]

41. Yes, that's why the stupid "D" at the end that's caused so much amusement.

(I cheated and pasted the damn thing into Word and ran a character count. Spaces do count on Twitter.)

Whoever was operating the Authentic Frontier Gibberish-to-English translator didn't have the wit to rephrase the tweet to fit in the whole word "decision," so evidently just said "Feck it, that'll do."

Reminds me of

[canetoad]

42. Pasting into Word crossed my mind

But couldn't even be bothered firing Word up!

Oh yes, the Ollege

[Initech]

15. Easy D sounds like Easy E's dim-witted cousin.

[world wide wally]

37. My theory about "easy D" is that when 45 allegedly went to college , before he would register

for any class, it had to meet that requirement.

[bdamomma]

3. WTF

is he talking in code again. Sick sick man.

[Beartracks]

4. Easy D. What's there to be confused about?

===============

[brush]

16. Does he secretly want to be a rapper like the late Easy E of NWA fame?

Nah, rappers are pretty good with words, after all, that talent is what made them rappers.

Many have transitioned to acting, writing screenplays and producing movies, Ice Cube for example.

trump doesn't have that. He can't seem to even talk in complete sentences.

[Initech]

23. Donald Glover went to Harvard.

And he's an amazing hip hop artist, funk musician, and a great actor. Donald Trump wishes he had 1/10 of that talent! I'd much rather listen to Childish Gambino than a childish president!

[Initech]

17. Easy D sounds like the name of a discount store.

[Beartracks]

19. Maybe it's his porn name?

============

[Initech]

24. What has been pictured cannot be unpictured!

[nolabear]

39. Where's that picture of him in his bathrobe when you need it?

[CincyDem]

5. 3 prepositional phrases - missing an object noun and probably missing an action verb.

But WTF - he ain't trying to be an English teacher, he's trying to be The President. We already know he has a good mind (cuz he told us), he doesn't have to prove it every 140 characters.

[yallerdawg]

7. Easy D!

His African-American gave him...something.

"What have you got to lose?" says Jeff Sessions.

[RKP5637]

8. Easy! Grade "F" F for Fucked up! n/t

[Initech]

12. That works for me!

[pinboy3niner]

10. Professional diagram:

[RKP5637]

18. ...

[Initech]

26. Winner!

[DawgHouse]

28. OMG, I can't stop laughing!

[longship]

34. Okay! The "don't tutch the but" thread again.

Better than Drumpf, at least.

[nolabear]

40. Baby, we got history!

A classic never dies.

[Hekate]

44. Bwahahahaha -- wipes tears from eyes -- bwahahahaha

[msanthrope]

47. A classic! nt

[McCamy Taylor]

13. It's the Newspeak.

Here is what it really says:

(I can't say the word "Muslim" on the DOJ's advice so I will use the euphemism "certain areas" instead) + (Fear mongering) + (I'm not sure how to spell "decision&quot

[Amaryllis]

14. He often doesn't talk in complete or coherent sentences anyway,

but Twitter isn't really known for fostering well constructed sentences. English teacher here, and it isn't a sentence. But I think you were posting a rhetorical question!

[pat_k]

20. Without the big decrease in the number of polling places in "certain areas" ...

... this lunatic would not be in the White House.

(Just thought I'd mention it while we're on the topic "Changes in the volume of things related to certain areas." )

[BigDemVoter]

22. Oh dear. . . .

[redwitch]

25. It's his gangsta name yo.

Easy D. I like it!

[Tanuki]

29. Philip Roth said that Trump speaks Jerkish, so it would take a Jerkish major to diagram it. eom

[HopeAgain]

30. Trying to build a false sense of urgency...

They thrive on fear.

[pnwmom]

31. It doesn't need to be diagrammed. It needs to be translated. n/t

[Donkees]

33. You need croutons in order to diagram word salads. For example...

Big increase in traffic into our country from certain areas (crouton) Our people are far more vulnerable (crouton) We wait for what should be easy d (crouton)

The croutons are needed to soak up the salad dressing which slides all the words together.

[dalton99a]

35. .

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

36. A noun a verb and an EASY D

[chowder66]

45. I can't diagram it but I think Easy "D" stands for Deportation. nt

[msanthrope]

48. First, do a line of cocaine.......nt

[Drahthaardogs]

49. Duh, it's a Haiku...

Can't believe you did not catch that. Donalds poetry is the best, it's bigly, sad you don't get it. Very sad.