The three things that lead to happiness - determined by UC Berkeley scientists

[Liberal_in_LA]

That's now scientifically proven by studies, say UC Berkeley scientists who do those studies.

These wise men and women have come up with quantifiable, tested data showing that with little more than an attitude boost, anyone can get through the toughest of holiday times with not just a smile on his face, but real warmth in his heart.


-------------------------

Those three things consist of feeling grateful for the good things in your life, taking time with your family and using every opportunity you can to help others.


Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/12/28/MN181MFJ63.DTL#ixzz1hxp0cy00

[Yavapai]

1. Really?

I thought it was SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK & ROLL

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I believe it...

Of course, other things make me happy...

But the stuff that sticks with me: gratitude, family time, and helping others...those bring real contentment.

[peacebird]

3. For me too, CaliforniaPeggy.

If you add in a fourth - time spent outside enjoying nature then I think you have true bliss.

[etherealtruth]

23. So do I

[Thav]

4. But I thought what was good in life is

to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.

(bonus points to those who know where that's from. )

[BeHereNow]

6. Sounds like Old Testament verse-

Or modern day republican think tank mantra.
BHN

[eShirl]

7. haha

oft-quoted in our high school D&D games

[REP]

11. My family's Thanksgiving prayer?

(I know. I'm married to a geek.)

[Edweird]

13. I believe that's paraphrased Genghis Khan.

Last edited Thu Dec 29, 2011, 07:58 PM - Edit history (1)

Edited to add:
It is, in fact, paraphrased Genghis Khan.
“The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters.”

I happen to like this one:
“I am the punishment of God...If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”

[gkhouston]

16. Conan the Barbarian?

I think. Since I've been drinking and baking at the same time, I could be wrong. After all, I thought the "three things" were loose shoes, tight p***y, and a warm place to shit.

[Yo_Mama]

20. Conan!

[Duer 157099]

24. Sounds like a line from Pulp Fiction

[Thav]

27. Conan the Barbarian is where I got it from.

Although it may have originally come from other sources.

[notadmblnd]

5. Sell it to the 1% first, then I might buy it.

[Liberal_in_LA]

10. i guess so

[surrealAmerican]

17. You build a new family.

They don't need to be blood relatives; good friends will do.

[BeHereNow]

21. No- you are not alone.

Mo, I and others are here for you.
It's important to try and build an alternative
support network.
I no longer look for it among the people it should be coming from.
I suggest you do the same.
(((((((((Hug)))))))))
BHN

[emilyg]

9. I agree.

[tavalon]

12. Scooped by the Dalai Lama

[sulphurdunn]

14. I saw this on CNN:

The Dalai Lama is being interviewed by Larry King. At the end of the interview Larry King says, "Holiness is there any spiritual advise you have for the American people?"

The Dalai Lama replies: "Eat less."

[gkhouston]

15. So, feel grateful that you and your family will become homeless *together*.

[dimbear]

18. Seems to ignore the interpersonal side of the equation. Since happiness is the

comfortable contemplation of the misery of others, you need two parts.

A good study would be to compare the tragic lives of the middle class in Beverly Hills versus similar economic status folks in Haiti.

[Tsiyu]

19. One of the "good things in life"

is heat in the winter, but a lot of Americans will go without that "good thing" this year, because of nationwide cuts in states' LIHEAP programs.

For the price of one or two CEOs' obscene, avaricious bonuses per state, nearly all of those states could make up the cuts.

One person gets another five mansions and cars and vacations while thousands freeze this winter.

Happy. Happy. Happy.

[Igel]

25. Perfect example.

I've known miserable wretches, living in nice circumstances and utterly bitter. All they see is what they don't have. They rejoice at others' misfortune.

I know one old woman who laments that she'll never get out of Social Security what she paid into it. She has *nothing*. She says.

She worked 32 years. She's been retired 27 years. 2400 sq foot house, well decorated, half a million in the bank. She laments having to choose between duck, filet, prawns, or lobster for dinner. Eats out twice a week, after movies or a show. I could pay off my house with her jewelry.

She laughs when she sees a welfare mother whose kid ODed. "She's getting all that free money. Serves her right--she should have to suffer like I do." The Latino tree trimmer falls off his ladder? She laughs. He's poor, but works hard and is happy, joking with his friends. "He has to learn what it means to have a hard life." She worked hard, but at a steel mill. Not hard work, just boring shift work.

I tried telling her she should be grateful for what she has, and she just asked what it was she had to be grateful for? Her husband of 50+ years just turned away. My father and I never understood my mother. She thought themselves impoverished in 1982 with an income over $140k. Steel workers. Lots of overtime.

Then there was the mother of a friend I had in the '80s. She worked minimum wage 30 hours a week, 5 am until 11 am. Restaurant work. Survived because of leftovers from the kitchen and government/church assistance. Couldn't afford heat in the winter. Made her own clothes. Yet she helped her mother and visited her across town 3-4 times a week. Helped her son. Visited people in nursing homes. She laughted, smiled, and was truly grateful for what little she had.

Her son had a minimum wage job working at an apt. complex. The owner had several complexes. He retired at 35. He'd been a CPA and grew his company. Hired a manager and just advised from time to time. Had invested in an employment agency, then he bought it out and hired a manager. He repositioned it and it grew. Had bought wasteland, saw the city grow by the time he was 40, sold a chunk of land rezoned for business and built an apt. complex. Designed another, built it. Designed a third, built it. Had a hobby--restoring prominent, high-end cars from the 1910s through 1935 or so. If it wasn't prominent in some event, documented to be the self-same car--carried the president in a parade, photographed with some dictator, won some notable race--he wasn't interested. Millions in restored cars, sitting there in a warehouse. "Aren't they pretty?" she said when her son showed them to her.

She was glad for him. It didn't occur to her that she should be jealous. She couldn't be jealous or envious *and* grateful. Grateful won. She was happy. She was happy the same year that she made in a year what my bitter, miserable mother made in a month. She didn't die alone, because she had people that she had helped and who visited her. Not most of the people she helped, but enough. And she was glad for those who didn't show up--they were busy and doing better in some way because of her. She had enough gratitude for them, as well.

I learned the appropriate lesson.

[Tsiyu]

26. I love your stories

Thank you for sharing them

I am someone who hasn't made over $10,000.00 a year in 5 years. Most years I've survived on $5000 and the help of family.

I've worn myself down - numbed hands, hips going out - because wherever I worked, I gave it 110%. It finally dawned on me this year that I have to stop doing that if I don't want to be broken down before I reach 60. It finally dawned on me that the hardest working person in the workplace is generally also the least respected. This is the New American work ethic.

I'm probably one of the happiest people I know, because I have wonderful friends, many natural talents that I've been able to rediscover since I got fired this summer (I was told by boss: " I hate to do this because you worked so hard and did such a good job" but at least a month later she sent me my nice bonus I earned. It was all about politics and cowtowing to the lazy boss and lazy, wealthy kid who worked there.)

All five of my high school graduated children have attended college. One is about to finish law school, another has earned a masters, another is enrolled on full scholarship and has another year to a degree, another has a film degree. My youngest - about to graduate HS - has a nice college nest egg in trust because his aunt really liked me a lot and left her fortune to him rather than to his dad. So there is a lot of satisfaction and happiness knowing they are getting an education even though I can't help them one bit.

I have wonderful family and friends, a beautiful little piece of land and a shack (without running water except what comes out of a hose) that is paid for - and believe me, I appreciate that. Instead of getting depressed over the crappy job market, I've tried to write, paint, play music and even started studying SQL and other skills online. I've sold two articles and have a commisioned painting waiting for me to finish(if I can stay off the intertubes lol) so there is also a sense of self-worth in that.

But there are many times I am very close to breaking down, worried over how I will make it. There isn't any faking it when they cut off the power. This month, I have enough for the phone/internet bill or the electric bill. Which to pay? Without the phone, all of the applications and manuscripts I've sent out are for naught. Without the internet there is no DU and dayum, that is cold But without power, the well won't run and it will be pretty nasty for a few months. I've done it before, living through January and February without power, but it's hard to do anything when you can't feel your fingers or toes Having to make a choice like that is ridiculous in a nation like this.

All I want is a decent job, a decent wage and bosses and co-workers who don't exploit, but that's a pipe dream anymore. So I have to figure out how to make a living myself, but worry makes that a chore sometimes.

I'm still grateful for what I have, but my problem with the "three keys to happiness" is that people really are suffering and placating us by saying "well, at least you're happier" isn't addressing the income disparity and prejudice against the poor that make life hell in this country.

One in two of us Americans are living in poverty. We may be grateful for what we have, but that doesn't mean we don't spend a significant amount of time absolutely terrified, and that doesn't mean we shouldn't reform our society's economy to end all the suffering. I don't know how we make the miserable Old Man (and woman) Potters of the world stop thinking money is something to hoard, I just know we must, whether the poor are "happier" or not.

Love your stories, and yes, I'd rather be me than your mom!!!! A to you for sharing such a personal story and for putting up with that sort of self-absorption.

[Honeycombe8]

22. And raselberry dressing (according to Tiny Tim). nt

[SpiralHawk]

28. "You are what you repeat." - Timmy the Tiny

[Honeycombe8]

31. LOL! Not THAT Tiny Tim. The Christmas Carol Tiny Tim! nt

Boy, boy, that picture sends a chill down the spine! THAT Tiny Tim was a very odd character.

[Odin2005]

29. I still can't believe people think consumer junk will make them happy.

[Betty Karlson]

30. Thanks for the alert on these findings.