"I've got it all figured out!" . . . Please come Caption PresiDented Donald Trump!!!

[skip fox]

Donald (Developer of designer colostomy bags) Trump is thinking: "Okay, so they start talking about collusion between my associates and Russia. . . . . I bomb Syria. . . . Then they say they have indisputable proof of such collusion. . . . We get a week's coverage of The Mother of All Bombs in Afghanistan. . . . So when they find the collusion was at my direction, . . . Hell, there goes North Korea. . . . And when they find out . . . Well, I got at least two dozen more countries on my list."

[randome]

1. "That Obama painting is watching me. You may think I'm crazy..."

"..."
[hr][font color="blue"][center]"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
Tony Randall, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)[/center][/font][hr]

[underpants]

2. Donnie made big BOOM BOOM. Didn't you Donnie!?

Oh yes you did.

[randome]

3. That's what he calls posting a tweet while taking a dump, too.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
Tony Randall, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)[/center][/font][hr]

[skip fox]

4. Donald Trump is thinking:

"Damn. . . It's really hard to find a time and place to 'exercise my pleasure,' as my father used to put it, with all these Secret Service types about all the time."

[Johonny]

5. (press) Tell us about your decision to bomb Syria

(Trump) Well, it was a tough call. I was sitting there ruining my golfing trip by doing business. I do that. I work while I'm on vacation. This is a tough job. People don't know that. You never hear that. You have to work. I toughed this one out and I worked, hard, all the time. I was sitting there with the President of China. His name is she, but he's not a girl. We all called him she the whole weekend. I made a few jokes about Pence not being able to eat with a strange she, but she never got the joke. The Chinese don't get bigly humor. So then this chocolate cake comes out. A great cake. At lot of chocolate, a lot of cream, not too much frosting. People over do the frosting, like you wouldn't believe. It has three layers. You know a three layer cake with the three layers and frosting in-between. There weren't flowers on the cake. She probably would have liked flowers, but I'm a tough negotiator so no flowers on the cake. One of the best cakes I've ever eaten. I can't wait until next Thursday when I go back on vacation. I hope there's more cake.

[randome]

6. If that wasn't so funny, it would sound just like him!

[hr][font color="blue"][center]"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
Tony Randall, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)[/center][/font][hr]

[skip fox]

7. I keep warning him that

if he keeps channeling Trump that precisely he might get "stuck." Just like when your mother told you not to cross your eyes. I am grateful he doesn't listen, but worry about his long-term sanity.

[randome]

8. It was bad enough seeing 'morans' so often.

I dread thinking we may have 'Trump-speak' long after he's gone.
[hr][font color="blue"][center]"The whole world is a circus if you know how to look at it."
Tony Randall, 7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964)[/center][/font][hr]

[Johonny]

9. The inability for America to admit Sarah Palin had a language problem

has doomed us to a generation of politicians that just blather at us and the media pretending that they just said something profound.