What Kind of Pet Should Donald Trump Get?

[Kennah]

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/opinion/sunday/what-kind-of-pet-should-donald-trump-get.html

I'm going with mongoose.

[Solly Mack]

1. None. He'd torture it to death.

Seriously. None.

He should never have an animal.

I read the article, but Trump will never learn to love anyone more than he loves himself. Not even the so-called calming duo of Ivanred. (Ivanka/Jared)

[Binkie The Clown]

2. Can they cross a skunk with a porcupine? n/t

[Kablooie]

3. The Kraken?

[narnian60]

12. Good one.

[SeattleVet]

4. King cobra, for his love of acting like faux royalty?

But perhaps the Inland Taipan would be more appropriate for his temperment.

[LeftInTX]

62. Get a bunch of them...all kinds

A tub full of them...hop in and enjoy!!

[dchill]

5. Scorpion.

[greymattermom]

31. Yep, scorpion

along with the story

[Sunlei]

6. He doesn't like animals as pets, animals don't "like" him. He has humans as "pets"

[lastlib]

56. Penthouse?

I think he would grab at that........

[Doreen]

7. A very unhappy and pissed off fire breathing dragon who hates orange.

[uppityperson]

8. Oscar

[maveric]

73. Oh my! You've been around DU for a while.

Best thread EVER!

[Solly Mack]

85. I'm fairly certain Bannon is Oscar.

[Rhiannon12866]

92. Thread winner!

[dhill926]

9. the most dangerous and lethal animal...

in the known universe....

[Warren DeMontague]

10. Reince Preibus

because honestly, Christie eats too much and shits on the carpet.

[Pachamama]

53. +1000

[Rollo]

11. A rock...

Maybe they'll be back in style...

He'll probably kill it by gold plating it, though.

[NBachers]

13. a large colony of flesh-eating maggots.

[madokie]

14. Boa

[lpbk2713]

15. A cur mudgeon

would be a good match.

[Portland_Anni]

16. Hyena, although he is a bad example and might corrupt the morals of the animal.

[pansypoo53219]

17. something cold blooded. shark?

[BlueStater]

18. Anything that would gnaw his balls off is good enough for me. n/t

[Donkees]

24. Honey Badger - See fact #4

Published on Dec 29, 2014
10 Things You (Maybe) Didn't Know About The Honey Badger! 10 Quick Facts. Subscribe to see more List/Fact videos: http://goo.gl/7GvKSK

From skin that is tough enough to withstand Arrows and Machete blows, to a diet consisting of pretty much anything!
We countdown ten facts you didn't know about

[japple]

28. Honey badger don't care

[briv1016]

19. Let's start with a plant and if he hasn't killed it within a year we'll move up to goldfish.

[canetoad]

20. That fat C*** should not get a pet

Or even consider it. It takes love, empathy, consistency and discipline to raise a pet. He is not capable of providing any of these

[ATL Ebony]

21. A snake

[jehop61]

22. Weasel

Speaks for itself

[luvMIdog]

23. piranhas he can swim with

[MyOwnPeace]

25. How about a

horse's front - to go with the horse's ass that he is!

[democratisphere]

26. I can't think of a more cruel thing to do to any animal then to let it be the pet

of drumpf.
So, none.

[raccoon]

27. One of those Burmese pythons from the Everglades. But I don't

think even a Burmese python would deserve such a fate.

[Buckeye_Democrat]

29. Candiru fish.

The fish that allegedly lodge themselves inside penises.

Trump should swim with them and try to give the fish a golden shower.

[Vinca]

30. He's already got one - Spicer.

[tinrobot]

32. A rodent with tiny paws

[hatrack]

33. A sea wasp . . .

Then he can go swimming with it . . .

[whathehell]

34. I thought he was already wearing one on his head..

[VMA131Marine]

35. Dung beetle perhaps?

[ornotna]

71. That would be one happy dung beetle.

[neeksgeek]

36. How about a nice ant farm.

Metaphor for how he sees the rest of humanity.

[3catwoman3]

37. A tape worm.

He is going to suck the country dry, so this parasite seems symbolically appropriate.

[CountAllVotes]

68. That would be pretty awful

They could treat him with those pills that you give to a cat/dog/etc. and he might be ok! *ack*

Tapeworms give me the creeps I'll admit!

[Squinch]

102. LOLOLOLOLOL!

[Demsrule86]

38. A snake

[randome]

39. An iguana, which should be the new GOP mascot with the mantra: "They just kinda sit there."

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Where do uncaptured mouse clicks go?[/center][/font][hr]

[dembotoz]

40. if an asp was good enough for cleopatra

[Motley13]

55. I like the sound of that, an asp for an ass

best line in the article

"What is that great line? Once you’ve learned to fake sincerity, the rest is easy. Once Donald Trump learns to pretend to love animals, he can move on to pretending to love the human race."

[northoftheborder]

41. His hair

needs so much love and attention he would have none left for another pet

[JTFrog]

42. A pet rat in his jail cell. It can live in his hair. nt

[JudyM]

43. Hopefully no one will give him an Easter bunny.

[meow2u3]

44. A New York City sewer rat

Fits him perfectly.

[Mr. Ected]

45. A Face-Eating Leopard

The Republican Party's newest mascot.

As in 'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

46. A pet rock

If you were around in the 70s you should remember those

[jimjc]

47. get a pet that will put trump 6 ft. under!

[PoorMonger]

48. Goldfish

It's name is associated with gold - but really it's just orange. Plus, it's memory is so short it wouldn't have to suffer as much growing to hate its owner.

[SharonAnn]

49. A scorpion. "You knew what i was".

[Gothmog]

50. A pit viper

[doc03]

51. A spitting cobra

[winetourdriver01]

52. Pets

How about five pounds of intestinal worms?

[davekriss]

54. Rabid wolverine

[L. Coyote]

57. Something that eats old, fat golfers.

[flamingdem]

69. a Trump eating gator perhaps?

[appleannie1943]

58. No living thing deserves him for an owner.

[bluedigger]

59. A little frog.

He can name it Pepe and love it forever and ever.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

60. A Romney. He can kick it all he wants.

[CanonRay]

61. Gila Monster

It's perfect for him.

[Orrex]

63. A basket of asps

[BigDemVoter]

64. How about a poisonous snake?

[WhiteTara]

65. I would not wish that on any creature.

[FSogol]

66. A severe fungal infection? N/t

[ismnotwasm]

67. A huge porcupine with adverse reactions to orange and gold

[ohheckyeah]

70. None. That would be

Cruelty to animals.

[erinlough]

89. I can only imagine he would be cruel to an animal.

There is no animal I would ever put near him.

[lunasun]

72. Rock. Can't do any harm and he can carry it with him in travels

[OliverQ]

74. A turtle

I hear there is a particularly nasty little turtle in the Senate Donald could adopt.

[milestogo]

75. Take him to Seaworld and throw him in the tank with an Orca

who has a bad history.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

76. Something large, bad-tempered and carnivorous

that loves the taste of Man-Tan.

[Doreen]

77. Oh, I know, Ring worns!!

Yes, I used plural.

[shockey80]

78. He already has pets.

The people that work for him.

[mikehiggins]

79. What was that snake Voldemort worked with?

Of course I guess you could consider Bannon a pet.

[Soxfan58]

80. A pet rock

He can't hurt it. And it can't outsmart him.

[MLAA]

81. Black widow

I'm going with a black widow...😬

[spanone]

82. NONE. no animal should be exposed to him.

[bronxiteforever]

83. Devin Nunes

[Runningdawg]

84. A younger one that will live in the white house

[MiniMe]

86. None, it wouldn't be fair to the pet

[crazycatlady]

87. He needs a pussy that will grab him

The sharper the claws the better

[Rhiannon12866]

93. ...

[AnnieBW]

88. I thought he already had one

That Tribble on his head.

[dalton99a]

90. Yes, it's inside his skull

[EarthFirst]

91. He needs a Jabba the Hut

A felonious creature who exemplifies everything that is lust, greed and gluttonous.

[oasis]

94. "Montecore"

Siegfried and Roy's "unpredictable" white tiger.

[roamer65]

95. What pets do they allow in prison?

Rats?

[Rhiannon12866]

96. I used to have a pet rat. No rat deserves Trump...

[RobinA]

97. None

I once had a friend who was a fraction of the narcissist Trump is. His mother got him a kitten. It was his treatment of that cat that made me realize we were not going to make it for the long haul. Nothing about the pet experience works with a person who is incapable of thinking of anyone but himself. At least with human friends and the narcissist, the humans can get what they need met from other people in their lives and their own autonomy, and make a decision whether to remain friends with the narcissist. Pets have no such options. I would have stolen that cat from him if I had had the ability to take it myself. It very quickly went back to the shelter and I hope found a nice home, it was a really cute calico.

Needless to say, I have strong feelings about that episode. Up until that time I had never met anyone who was incapable due to personality of caring for an animal.

[Kennah]

98. Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal

[Kennah]

99. Do we have Rathtars?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Rathtar

[Hekate]

100. Asp

[Lebam in LA]

101. Pet Rock

Only thing that would be safe

[GallopingGhost]

103. His own penis.

He can play with it, it won't get any bigger and he wouldn't have to worry about anyone wanting to touch it.

[Squinch]

104. A hungry, hungry alligator.

[hunter]

105. Per these replies, I'm going with ringworm...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatophytosis

[PoliticalPie]

106. Didn't Putin give him a pack of Russian Wolf Hounds (agents?) nt

[woodsprite]

107. A very affectionate full-grown albino Python. The golden color should appeal to DT. n/t

[Midnight Writer]

108. I guess something that will get along with his Honey Badger

[Alice11111]

109. Cock-roach