Why My Family Would Rather Not Have Me Attend Holiday Dinners

[louis c]

Well, I come from a big family. although I only have one brother, we have 100 Aunts, Uncles, cousins and their spouses combined from both sides of my parent's families. Our get togethers are usually 20 or more.

I'm 65 years old and can't ever let a stupid comment go unchallenged.

Today's version: My cousin Jack, married into my family, has two boys. Both in their 20's. Jack wore a "Make America Great" red hat for Christmas 2015 and 2016. He rails against immigrants so much, that my Filipina wife of 14 years will not attend another family gathering. Although, when he says his bigoted comments, he did say, "I don't mean Cora". What a fucking sport. Cora's Niece is serving in intelligence on a U.S. Navy ship in the Sea of Japan.

So, anyway, I digress. Let me get back on point. Today Jack was praising Trump for his "strong leadership in Syria, Afghanistan and North Korea". Jack, of course, never served and his 2 boys are not in the military. Here was my response:

"Well, Jack, at least you, Fred and Donald Trump all have something in common. I lived through the Viet-Nam War and the Iraq War and it always amazes me that the big mouths with big balls are always ready to go to war with other people's kids."

I left early.


Me and Cora:

http://archive.boston.com/lifestyle/specials/bill_brett/nov08seen2?pg=27

[AJT]

1. Good on ya!

[nini]

2. You were wrong

They don't have big balls..


Otherwise.. well done.

[louis c]

4. You're right. But it was sarcasm

[El Mimbreno]

47. Agreed - no big balls

Racism and xenophobia are simply the result of fear and cowardice.

And yet... they still have more balls than brains.

[EarthFirst]

3. It's tough.

It's never an easy decision, yet it is.

[Sculpin Beauregard]

5. Bravo, Sir! I bet that got rid of their smirks

Some people, family or not, are too toxic and intolerable to be around. And life is just too short.

[Plucketeer]

6. Love to you

and you're beautiful wife!

[Blues Heron]

7. You guys look great!

I used to deliver the Globe when I was a kid back in the 70s

Sorry about your cousin in law, nothing worse than that kind of thing in your own family. Sympathies.

[colorado_ufo]

8. Your smack-down is a thing of beauty!

And sir, your wife is beautiful, as well; I would bet she is smart, too!

[MrScorpio]

9. Damn skippy! nt

[CTyankee]

13. lkove you guys!

[demigoddess]

10. Bravo from a military brat and military wife (retired)

can't stand those kind of people.

[lindysalsagal]

11. Yuppers. I was happy to spend the day alone. But my family is all blue.

I still don't particularly like easter and thanksgiving. I adore christmas, but not for religious reasons.

[bekkilyn]

12. What a beautiful couple you are! (nt)

[Honeycombe8]

14. What you said was perfectly reasonable, and accurate. Certainly not as insulting and stupid as

the things Jack has said.

Someone should have stepped in and talked to Jack before about holding back on his immigrant comments, out of respect for you and your wife. It's called good manners. (Is it possible that Jack's comments are about "illegal" immigrants and not about legal ones, which I presume your wife is? He may distinguish it that way. Even so, it's best to avoid negative immigrant comments in front of immigrants. DUH.)

And YES....it's rare that someone who knows what war is, is itching to go into another one.

What a lovely couple you two are!!!!

I hope you and your family can make amends in some way, and that the others will start to respect you and your positions. Family is important. You have a huge family! I can't imagine.

[George II]

15. Good for you, great story. We have a rule of never discussing politics but invariably...

...it leaks out sometimes. I rarely get loud but when I hear my right wing relatives say ignorant, uninformed things, I throw a few REAL facts at them which generally shuts them up.

By the way, great picture, too!

Happy Easter.

[Laffy Kat]

16. Don't know how you do it.

All my RW relatives (ex-husband's side) died or divorced out of family. Holidays were tense when my kids were young. The strong progressives (my side) are left. Get togethers are so much nicer now.

[sharedvalues]

17. I'm a fan of "The President is a criminal. And you're complicit"

What gets me is the Trump people that put their kids in Trump gear. Talk about setting your kids up for failure in life. Makes me sad.

[UTUSN]

18. "I'm 65 & can't ever let a stupid comment go unchallenged" - Bwah-HAH, *good* on you!!

[chwaliszewski]

19. Good job, Louis!

My mom voted for Trump, spews the Fox talking points when we do discuss politics once in a while, but is not mean spirited about it. But I have given up on a couple of long time friends since the election. I served in the US Navy back in the mid 80's and never hesitate to call chicken hawks on their war drum beatings. Keep fighting the good fight, Sir.

[spanone]

20. K&R...👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

[lucca18]

21. Great response!

Enough is enough.....you can only take so much.
And, may I say that you and your wife make a beautiful couple!

[Augiedog]

22. There is a useful term for folk like that. 'Chicken Hawks'. Dick(less) Chaney being prime example.

[SaschaHM]

23. Great Response!

I'm lucky. My entire extended family hates Trump with a passion. We tend to not bring him up because it devolves into a full on Trump bashing session and we'd rather not have that ruining our holiday dinners.

[KT2000]

24. Great picture of you and your wife

and good on you for not letting that guy get away with his idiotic remark.
Everyone who goes to war comes home wounded - and their families too.
I'm so sick of people believing in the movie version of war.

[tenorly]

25. Home for the Holidays

[PassingFair]

54. I love that movie.

Durning was a wonder.

[tenorly]

57. He was. We're lucky we had him around for so long.

[PassingFair]

59. Waaaahhhh! That basement scene!

I wish I had had more time with my dad.

[tenorly]

63. I hear you.

I'm fortunate in that my folks are both still around; so many lose one or both their parents at an early age - or what's worse, become estranged.

We ourselves almost lost my dad, who's 66 and with a history of cardiac problems in the family, to a heart attack during one of those stultifying heat waves last year. It really helped put things in perspective I think.

All the Best to you and yours.

[benld74]

26. Mike drop and leave! Gr8 response

[LonePirate]

27. Sounds like Jack is the one that needs to be disinvited from all family gatherings.

[Samantha]

28. You two are a really sweet looking couple!

And I think your point about going to war with other people's kids is a great one. Keep up the good work!

Sam

[dalton99a]

29. Kudos.

[CousinIT]

30. BRAVO. You guys are a great-looking couple.

And smart to boot, obviously.

Keep raising hell.

(bytheway I don't blame your wife for not attending your family gatherings)

#RESIST

[dae]

31. An excellent Easter story. Thank you for sharing.

[trc]

32. I served in two branches, my wife served in two branches and 2 of my 4 kids are currently

on active duty. You sir, are my hero. Tell these fuckers that their threats and saber rattling bullshit put my kids at risk, and hundreds of thousands of other kids at risk...in order to show how big and tough these pricks are. They can take their "thanks for your service" bullshit and shove it up their asses. Sorry, this hits a nerve that i can not seem to repair.

[certainot]

33. well done. just a suggestion, make the idiot defend limbaugh

they all know limbaugh whether they listen to him or to others who do. to them he represents that whole alt reality. but they also know deep down that he's a millionaire liar and pretender hiding in a studio - he just helps them excuse their racism and relieves their fear with the certitude of simple binary absolutism.

jack is right handed, right?

[Cha]

34. Good job, louis!

[Hulk916]

35. I experience similiar ramblings at my lodge dinners

[gopiscrap]

69. ha, ha, welcome to DU

[dchill]

36. I wouldn't want you there, either!

If I were an ignorant, racist asshole, that is.

[Cha]

37. KICK

[smirkymonkey]

38. +1000

Lovely photo of you and your wife! Hi neighbor!

[JustAnotherGen]

39. Excellent post

[Soxfan58]

40. Great!!!

Why is it that the "freedom isnt free" bumper sticker crowd never served or had a loved one serve. A retired Army officer once told me. "No one wants peace more than a soldier" So I guess no one wants war more than a repub redneck watching it on TV.

[onetexan]

41. hard off to u sir!!

Well done!

[HAB911]

42. Good for you!!!

[sarge43]

43. Well said, sir and thank you.

"If it's so freakin' important, suit up, a-hole. Otherwise, STFU."

for your lovely wife. No one should hear crap like that.

[The Wizard]

44. Print out military enlistment forms

and hand them to your spineless / tough guy relatives. I've done it. It's like handing them something radioactive.
We had a saying in Vietnam: "There are no tough guys in the NDP (night defensive position).

[NurseJackie]

45. That's a lovely photo!

[AllaN01Bear]

46. good aon you.

was at a family thanksgiving event one time where a new wed member male of the family kept saying at the top of his voice , " at least i get to keep his current medical insuranse poilicy,referring to obama care , the host ( who is stronly democrat) sung out , at a loud voice ' so and so, no political bullshit". he shut down. good on ya.

[vlyons]

48. Can't say that I blame you

I would have also asked, and what have YOU done to help wounded warriors, or gold star parents, or orphan kids of service men and women. And have you ever prayed for peace in troubled lands, or looked with compassion on the refugees fleeing wars? How much money have you ever donated to the red cross, or Doctors with Borders, or any number of organizations dealing with the after-effects of war.

[marieo1]

49. Good for you!!

I think there are families all across our great country that are having the same problem. I know my own family is divided as never before. It's sad. I don't know if our family camaraderie will ever return.

[DFW]

50. Great looking couple!

And don't ever stop speaking up!

Tell your wife we said magandang omaga po (angan Tagalog ko idi magalen).

[Tikki]

51. What an outstanding looking couple..

Good...glad you spoke up.

Tikki

[not fooled]

52. Ignorant, fear-driven

faux and limpballs adherents don't like having FACTS brought to their attention.

I just hope this country survives the propaganda.

[KPN]

53. Love it! Keep on keeping on louis!

[cilla4progress]

55. Beautiful couple,

by the way!

[sarcasmo]

56. I'M in the same boat with my in-laws. All wingers and will Never attend another a family function.

[niyad]

58. good for you!! and thanks for the pic of you and your lovely wife.

[itcfish]

60. Did I Miss Something?

Who is Fred?

Anyway, I have the same problem. My husband is constantly kicking me under the table to be quiet, but I don't, and I don't care.

[louis c]

64. Fred Trump

Donald's Father who assisted the Orange One in getting 5 deferments in order to avoid serving in Viet-Nam during the draft from 1966 to 1972.

Fred supported the war effort, as did Donald, as long as other Americans did the fighting.

[itcfish]

70. aaaaah

ok Thanks

[onecent]

61. Good for you!!!!!!!!!

And thank you for your service!

[stollen]

62. I won't even return to the US let alone a rellie gathering

I don't like that kind of unclassy behavior.

[NoMoreRepugs]

65. Screw the notion of not talking politics w family

so as to not cause hard feelings - they elected a moronic despot who threatens my children and grandchildrens future - put on big boy pants and wade into the deep water is my advice.

[YOHABLO]

66. Find some people you really enjoy being around during the holidays. Screw the family.

[lordsummerisle]

67. You guys are great! k&r n/t

[louis c]

68. thanks