The Great "Dumbing-Up"! . . . Please come CAPTION Tucker Carson!!!

[skip fox]

Tucker ("Diapers are simply practical&quot Carlson is thinking: "Now I'll be able to put my patented look to good use. . . . Hell, I've been practicing it since before I can remember. . . . My mom was always giving me pills and making me watch hours and hours of t.v. . . . She used to say I looked smartest when I was quietest, . . . like after pills in front of the t.v. . . . Now I can bring my smart look to Fox's greatest prime time hour. . . . I hope they'll provide me with a drool bucket. . . . Otherwise I'll have to carry the one from home."

[CurtEastPoint]

1. Frozen dinner heir. Another spoiled rich boy. Go eat a Swanson's, Fucker.

[skip fox]

2. Tucker is saying:

"Others may have perfected the shit-eating grin, but I created the simian glaze."

[smirkymonkey]

3. Dumber than dirt.

And fragile as a snowflake. How on earth do they expect him to last?

[skip fox]

4. Tucker is thinking:

"Wow. . . . Those fruit-flavored suppositories are really kicking in."