PSA: "would of", "could of", "should of", "might of" are meaningless phrases.

[eppur_se_muova]

I don't mean that in a philosophical sense -- literally, they are uninterpretable. The correct phrasings are "would have", "could have", "should have", "might have".

There's a reason the contractions are spelled "would've", etc.

[unblock]

1. thanks! i must of got lost, somewhere down the line....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Must_of_Got_Lost

[WinkyDink]

58. Poetic license!

[Iggo]

2. And yes it does matter.

[cwydro]

3. Lol.

Thank you for this.

And it's "hear, hear" not "here, here". That one drives me nuts.

[MineralMan]

22. Whenever I see "here, here," I'm tempted to reply with

"There, there." I've done that a few times, but the original poster rarely seems to understand what I meant.

[cwydro]

35. I love that!

That's hilarious!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

31. +1

[Orrex]

4. I will oppose these malapropisms with the might of titans.

[spooky3]

13. Lol! I'm having a bad week, and this made me smile. Thx.

[Orrex]

15. :)

[DetlefK]

5. Should of known that.

[Sculpin Beauregard]

6. And it's a Foreword at the beginning of a book, not a 'forward'

[eppur_se_muova]

7. Sometimes that's a deliberate pun ...

at least one author explained that it was a call to action.

[PoliticAverse]

8. Do you read backwards in a book? n/t

[Exilednight]

9. Depends on the language the book is written in.

If written in traditional Japanese, then yes I read it backwards when compared to western books.

[PoliticAverse]

10. It must be great reading Japanese Mystery Novels, you always know who did it first. n/t

[ProfessorGAC]

11. Kind Of Sucks The Fun Out Of It

Doesn't it? Good one!

[unblock]

54. actually, some great mysteries unfold just this way.

at least some episodes of columbo (maybe all, i don't remember) started with the actual crime, the audience would see exactly whodunit.

the real "mystery" was figuring out exactly how columbo would figure it out and/or get the perp to confess.

[PoliticAverse]

63. You're right, Columbo was Japanese!...

[ProfessorGAC]

65. Yeah, I Forgot About That

Good call!

[cwydro]

16. Lol!

Well played!

[Bucky]

26. reltub eht?

[PoliticAverse]

49. Rekop ecalperif a htiw moor gniward eht ni.

[NurseJackie]

12. Yep. The written contraction is clear. The spoken contraction is ...

... or can often be, slurred and as a result, it may become ambiguous to the listener.

Conversationally, a listener is likely to may misunderstand someone's pronunciation of "would've" to be "would of".

Then, once that version of the phrase is cemented in their brain, that's how they say it (and write it) going forward.

Weird how human brains work and process information.

[Bigredhunk]

14. -

Drives me nuts too. People are just starting to go with what it sounds like (sounds like "should of," so that's what I'll write). The world is starting to become IDIOCRACY, in which people who speak correctly sound "weird."

Others which piss me off:

less than instead of fewer than
worse instead of worst
bias instead of biased
dribble instead of drivel
here instead of hear
hole instead of whole
when people pronounce hundred like hundret

Go look at the 21 (20 unverified, since they haven't bought the book and are just rw trolls) 1-star reviews for Liz Warren's new book over on Amazon. One review is 2 words long - "Very condisending." Another began, All the "pundants."

[Bucky]

25. less than and fewer than are both acceptable

depending on the circumstance

[Bernardo de La Paz]

34. The circumstances to use one or the other are specific and EASY to remember.

Use "fewer than" for plural individual items like people that are counted.
Use "less than" for singular aggregates like sand that are measured

If you like people, think of them as individuals, even when in groups. People is actually a plural. There are never "less people", though a Republicon might say that because profits matter more than people to Republicons.

We count people but we measure sand.
"fewer people"
"less sand"

We count threads but measure aggravation.
"fewer threads"
"less aggravation"

"The sustainable car design had fewer parts."
"The sustainable car design had less metal."

Occasionally we count aggravations; in those case we use "fewer". Both of these are good: one counts and one measures:
"By changing jobs Sally had fewer aggravations in her life."
"By changing jobs Sally had less aggravation in her life."

[eppur_se_muova]

70. Heh. That one bugs me too, but maybe a little less.

I notice express checkout lines are always for "10 items or less" ...
I think the people who make signs always try to use as few letters as possible -- that leads to larger, easier-to-read letters and it may be cheaper as well (especially traffic signs). So ... less, not fewer, is cheaper.

[Bucky]

82. Thank you

I will print this out and staple it to the corner of my English degree

[subterranean]

28. And don't forget "defiantly" instead of "definitely."

I see that one a lot.

[Aristus]

17. Those drive me crazy.

Because it's obvious that these people learn their speech patterns, and the perceived spelling of them, from listening to other not-very-bright people, instead of from reading.

[aidbo]

18. Your rite.

[Bucky]

24. 3...2...1...

[Blanks]

55. I'm pretty sure that's 'yore write'.

Jk

[WillowTree]

19. The ones that make me crazy are 'breath' and 'breathe'.

Breath is a noun. "He was out of breath."

Breathe is a verb. "He found it difficult to breathe."

I rarely see those used correctly.

[BSdetect]

20. I detest the Palinism "also too".

[LisaM]

39. Reminds me of another one I hate.....

"oftentimes".

[shanti]

48. sort of like "tiny little"

[BSdetect]

21. And while I'm at it

Deja u all over

First said as a joke in some movie or TV program and now repeated by idiots as if it is the correct use of deja vu.

[Bucky]

23. I saw "could of" last week in a BBC article. Seriously.

The virus is spreading.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. Thank you!

[LaydeeBug]

29. There, their, they're. nt

[Rhiannon12866]

77. +100!

[beastie boy]

30. I am here, here in a lumber yard...

... comparing wood of known species. And now I am confused. Help....

[Mr. Evil]

33. Those drive me crazy too but,

it also drives me to the edge when people use "looser" to describe a "loser."
Sometimes I'll present an example so that they may (most likely not) learn the difference.

Lose rhymes with Snooze.
Loose rhymes with Noose.

Also there's the daily misuse of "there, their and they're."

Another example I use:
They're putting their money there.

[LisaM]

37. Ah! You beat me to loose and lose.

It never hurts to say it twice, though!

[LisaM]

36. Thanks! I'm often tempted to randomly mention some grammatical pet peeve....

mostly so it's not directed at anyone. So while we're at it, please note that advice and advise are two different words, as are loose and lose.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

38. If you like people, for the verb use "serve" for people and "service" for machinery

Presidents serve the people. They don't "service" the people.
Likewise, waiters serve diners, they don't "service" diners.

When we take a car in to the garage for its 15,000 mile service, the mechanics service it.

[japple]

40. YES!!! You actually see it in highly acclaimed literary works.

Example of the need for a literate person to edit and proofread these works.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

41. I saw a sign at the March for Science that said "Eppur se muova". I had to ask

Cool screen name.

The sign was carried by a linguist.

As you would know, but not many of our readers, "eppur si muove" is what Galileo is alleged to have muttered after being forced to submit to church doctrine: "and yet it moves" (referring to the Earth's motion; that the earth revolves around the Sun rather than the other way around).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_yet_it_moves

[FakeNoose]

57. Wow that one is obscure

I wouldn't have known that one, but I do know some good puns in German.
Nobody would get them here so I'm not going to post them.

Here's one of my favorite lines from the West Wing:

[eppur_se_muova]

71. And I managed to misspell "si".

[Bernardo de La Paz]

75. Doesn't matter

It doesn't matter for a screen name. And the 'a'? Wear it proudly! Though I think you can change a user name once every Presidential cycle (might have to ask Admins this time around).

[keithbvadu2]

42. Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Ain't that the truth?

(There's a freebie for ya)

"I coulda been a contender"

[George II]

43. I came here to point out that it should be "have" in each case! Thanks!

[True Dough]

44. For all intensive purposes...

[Bernardo de La Paz]

45. I endorse this thread bigly. . . . nt

[BamaRefugee]

46. VIOLA! It's so simple once you pointed it out! ;-)

[BamaRefugee]

47. Pet Peeve: "defiantly" when, bless their little hearts, they mean "definitely"

[Skidmore]

50. Yes.

And it's "disdain," not "distain."

[Warpy]

51. Thank you. Illiteracy: it's not just for Republicans any more

The cure is reading, lots of reading, especially reading things you will not enjoy reading but which use the English language the most beautifully and will stay with you after you finish them.

Anthony Trollope taught my ex how to spell. If a series of Victorian novels can accomplish that, they can accomplish everything.

[Ms. Toad]

67. It never was. It drives me nuts when people go troll hunting here

based on spelling, grammar, or misuse of words.

[cwydro]

52. Don't forget "tow" the line.

Gah!

[Blaukraut]

53. Or "should of went" and "could of did"

English is my second language which makes me pay especially close attention to those mistakes. I constantly correct my poor husband. He used to use proper grammar, but it has deteriorated over the years.

[Sculpin Beauregard]

56. Ugh, there are so many

"free reign" instead of "free rein" drives me up the wall.

[Blanks]

59. That's probably my biggest pet peeve too...

But I have my own problems. So I resist the urge to beat people up about their errors even though at times that urge is quite strong.

Affect and effect are words I'm likely to get mixed up. I don't read books as frequently as I did at one time. I'm gonna blame losing the distinction to the differences between the two words on that personal habit change, even though a quick googling yields a swift explanation of the difference. Clearly, laziness is another component to my incorrect use of certain words.

I don't see spelling and grammar issues around here as often as I see them on FaceBook because I am from Idaho and live in Arkansas, but I just want to scream when I see 'should of.' So thanks for the PSA.

[WinkyDink]

61. Think alphabetical. You Affect something in order to get an Effect.

[Blanks]

66. The tip that I read...

Is that one of them is a verb and the other a noun, but I can't remember which is which without looking it up.

[WinkyDink]

68. Not much of a tip, then, eh?

[eppur_se_muova]

72. Actually, both can be either noun or verb. :)

Affect as a noun is a term used in psychology, so you rarely encounter it.

Effect as a verb is used mostly by more literate folks, so it's less common.

I can't think of a good mnemonic. I have a hard time just remembering how to spell "mnemonic". Maybe ... If you turn the A in Affect upside down, it looks like a V for verb, but if you rotate the E in Effect in looks kind of like ... well, it looks kind of like an M, not an N. Don't know if that helps anybody.

How about: Affect = Change/Influence; Effect = Result
A before E in the alphabet, as is C/I before R. Kind of hard to remember, though.

[WinkyDink]

76. Actually, as a former English teacher, I know all the above. Clearly, the poster was not

referring to the lesser-used denotations, else he would not get mixed-up in the first place, so I decided not to reply with a lengthy disquisition.

[WinkyDink]

60. How to get "its" and "it's" right: NO Possessive Pronoun takes an apostrophe. We don't write "her's,

hi's, our's, their's, or your's." Thus, it is ALSO NOT "it's" as a Possessive Pronoun.

[0rganism]

62. and stop "begging the question" when you mean "raising the question"

"begging the question" indicates circular reasoning, where one assumes the conclusion of an argument
"raising the question" means you brought up something new for consideration, and possible begging down the road

[YoungDemCA]

64. dun Cowect muh Engels-isH, u eleetizst.

[NCTraveler]

69. Wooda knever nown.

Just kidding. I appreciate this.

[PDittie]

73. The difference between

knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

[DFW]

74. All perfectly correct grammar--in Republicanese

I've seen links to right wing boards. They are full of this kind of sloppy writing. They interchange their-there-they're, they interchange loose-lose, they interchange your-you're, and they frequently use an apostrophe at random to form a plural (they'll watch "the Simpsons" while cursing "the Clinton's&quot . "Would of" and "could of" are just another part of the same Republicanese grammar.

[eppur_se_muova]

81. Heh ... you had to mention the Simpsons: "Marge! I'm going over to the Flanderes's ! nt

[SchrodingersCatbox]

78. My biggest peeves lately

"Free reign", it's "free rein"
"tow the line" = "toe the line"

And misuse of "comprise". People use out when they mean "compose". A group comprises its members, it's not "comprised of" its members.

[Sculpin Beauregard]

79. Another is "responsible to"

instead of "responsible for". Drives me up the wall.

"Billy is responsible to mow the lawn" is not correct.

"Billy is responsible for mowing the lawn" is correct.

[OnDoutside]

80. Thank you. It is as grating as, "He done it".