Ecuadorian Officials Getting Sick Of Julian Assange Always Leaving Dirty Dishes All Over Embassy

[Zorro]

LONDON—Adding to the already long list of grievances they had with their guest, officials at the Ecuadorian embassy reported Thursday that they were beginning to get really sick of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange always leaving his dirty dishes around the premises.

Sources said that Assange, whose presence has reportedly grown more and more disruptive since his arrival in 2012, has a habit of abandoning sauce-covered plates in random consular offices throughout the building. In addition, officials complained that Assange often blasts loud techno music during important calls with Quito, makes awkward conversation with visitors applying for visas, and loafs around conference rooms in his ratty, stained briefs while diplomats attempt to conduct meetings.

“Pretty much every day, I come into the kitchen and he’s burned a bunch of eggs on the pan, which he then just leaves on the stove,” said Ecuadorian ambassador Juan Falconí Puig, adding that while Assange typically lets weeks’ worth of bowls filled with milk residue and cereal-encrusted spoons pile up in the sink, they have also been discovered on windowsills, in the hallway outside his door, and, on one occasion, on top of a toilet tank. “He also leaves his takeout containers lying around everywhere, including the reception area, so people just get smacked by the odor of curry the minute they walk in.”

“And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pull clumps of stringy white hair out of the shower,” added Puig. “It’s, like, come on Julian. Other people use that shower too.”

http://www.theonion.com/article/ecuadorian-officials-starting-get-sick-julian-assa-55879

[ProudLib72]

1. Somehow, I don't think this is far from the truth. nt

[2naSalit]

2. +1

[hunter]

3. He's been there long enough to have dug an escape tunnel with a spoon.

Why is he still there?

I'm surprised the embassy hasn't yet got him drunk to the point of passing out, stuffed him in a diplomatic pouch, and lost him on the way to the airport.

[brush]

4. Damn! Is that photo real? Those tighty whiteys are anything but white. Disgusting.

The guest that never leaves and doesn't clean up behind himself.

[smirkymonkey]

5. I know - ewww!

This is one of those satire articles that is probably not too far from the truth - including the photo.

[Elwood P Dowd]

6. They're from Ivanka's new line of Ted Nugent briefs.

[brush]

7. Thank you, EPD. Your post make me crack up out loud.

[malaise]

9. Holy shit

Is that a hole in those briefs?

Ewwwwwwwwwwww - disgusting.

[tblue37]

10. No. It is photoshopped, and the article is satire. nt

[brush]

11. Pretty good Photoshop job if that's true. Those tighty whiteys . . . whew!

[tblue37]

12. The head is a bit too small for the body, though. nt

[lunamagica]

8. Throw him out!