Perfect way to handle a bully????

[brettdale]

If you're an adult.

Clip is from the TV show Louie.

Louie is in a cafe, and a high school kid came up to him,
after he told him and his friends to keep the noise down,
the kid threatens Louie.

I think this is the right way to handle it.

The debate on the youtube message board seems to be split, but
more in favour of Louie.

Thoughts?

[brettdale]

1. Over at youtube

I would say its 65-70% in favour of the way Louie handle it.

Over on a NewZealand board, its like 100% against Louie.

[Samantha]

2. I have had some very stressful jobs over three decades and worked for more than one extreme bully

The best technique I finally developed to thwart them was to turn my back and walk away.

The worst of these people was one who would come to my desk, stand in front of it, and go off on a tantrum, speaking as loudly as he could so everyone working in that hallway would not miss a word. I let him finish, and then spun my swivel chair around to present to him my back. He finally just walked away.

Ignore is not only your friend on discussion boards, but it works extremely well in real life too.

I no longer do this type of work, and my blood pressure is a lot better for it.

Sam

[brettdale]

3. awesome

Awesome story and way of handling it!!

[dweller]

4. you have mastered the art

of demolishing the petty tyrant

kudos
🙏🏻

[SonofDonald]

5. Now this is just me but....

As soon as he asked me when was the last time I was beat up?, I would have asked him when was the last time he got stabbed and had open chest surgery.

I've been stabbed, by a total stranger, not one word was exchanged between us, no reason whatsoever, and I spent three days in the hospital.

I own guns, I don't think I should carry a gun as I don't feel I can make a correct decision as when to use one, no matter what I know for a fact I can make mistakes.

So I leave guns up to the professionals, they're called police.

But I do carry a knife, and I know how to handle one, and believe me, when you ask an asshole like the one portrayed above if they've been stabbed before?.

They don't stick around.

But that's just me, I think the way it was portrayed was correct, defuse the situation, everybody walks away safely.

[randr]

6. Bullies are not finished until they hurt someone

They don't walk away like in the show. They are mostly trying to impress the weaklings who look up to them.
The answer to "when is the last time you had the shit kicked out of you?" is "when is the last time you had your nose bitten off?"

[backscatter712]

17. This is why sometimes you have to go full Ender's Game on them.

They won't stop until they've thoroughly traumatized and hurt you, just so they can show how cool they are.

So you've got to punch that bully in the nose. You've got to hurt them, and hurt them bad.

[randr]

18. Most bullies back down once they realize their threat has been met

They are really cowards at heart

[DFW]

7. In my HEAD, I know this is the right way to handle it, but

In my heart, I keep wishing for this way instead:

[MineralMan]

14. I don't know about you, but I'm not Shaft.

I also don't have a pistol in my pocket. I'm not taking on a group of kids like that. Not a chance. I wouldn't have called them out in the first place. It's just not worth it.

[DFW]

15. I'm not Shaft either

Wishful thinking doesn't put a pistol in my pocket any more than it puts one in yours, and in my neck of the woods, getting a permit to carry a pistol is more difficult than getting a permit to drive your kids to school in a Sherman tank. Fantasies come of their own volition, and do not require fulfillment.

[HAB911]

8. Surprising the gun humper barrel strokers haven't chimed in on this thread

In Florida, it would be legal to pop a cap in his forehead and the NRA wants to sell insurance policies to support the killing

[tblue37]

11. Clint Eastwood's character did that in "Grand Torino," and the gang brutally

retaliated by kidnapping and gang raping the sister of the kid the Eastwood character was trying to protect. I think that Eastwood's prediction of the outcome is far more likely than the one in that clip. The bad guys would retaliate, but not until they were safe to do so and get away with it.

In the Louis C.K. clip, the woman should have dialed 911 and so should the person behind the counter at the coffee shop and any other patrons hearing the brat's threat to assault someone. Cops might delay responding to one 911 call, but several would get their attention--especially if the problem is in a nice neighborhood and a nice middle class establishment.

[HAB911]

12. Totally agree

I started to include that in my post but sided with a single thought. EVERYONE in the shop had a responsibility do something.

[oasis]

9. I'd go to jail for smashing the sugar container into the punks's face.

Bring it on.

[MineralMan]

13. To jail? The hospital, more likely.

That punk wasn't alone. He was with a bunch of other punks. Your response would end up sending you to the hospital, at best. Situations like that piss me off, too. But, there's no way to back up a challenge to a group like that if you're not armed. You might knock a couple of teeth out of one's mouth with that sugar container, but what would happen next wouldn't end well.

Discretion. Choose your battles. That one in the video wasn't worth the risk in any way.

The guy in the video took the correct approach to that particular situation. There was no other available approach, really. It was a situation where winning wasn't possible. I suggest not doing stupid things your ego suggests you do.

[MineralMan]

10. Tough call, isn't it?

Here's mine:

Don't confront groups of guys. Ever. They'll move on, in time. When you get a group like that in a public place, confronting them never really works out well. They're not going to quiet down. They're not going to do what you want them to do. And, all too often, one of them is going to come over and challenge you.

There's no way to win in that situation. If you respond with a counter-challenge, you may end up getting the crap beaten out of you by the whole group. Even if you can manage the one who challenges you, you'll still have the rest of the over-hormoned idiots to contend with. It's not worth it. Really, it's not.

Instead, roll your eyes at the nice person across the table from you and wait a minute. That group will move one. If they don't, walk out of the place. But leave morons alone when they're in a group. Let them be obnoxious. They'll move along in time. Or leave. But don't confront or challenge them. They will not behave as you'd like them to.

That's my advice, as an old guy who has somehow avoided getting his ass kicked all these years.

[backscatter712]

16. Had a kid once challenge me to a fight just a few years ago...

I told him I'm not in junior high school anymore, and suggested he grow up.

[hunter]

19. Moron's knuckles are bloody from punching doors and walls in the toilet...

... not from fighting, because he knows his life sucks.

No point arguing with that.