Trump Prepares for International Trip - A Dialog

[MineralMan]

DJT: Now, tell me again. Which hand am I not supposed to use in Saudi Arabia?
Anonymous Voice: The left hand, Mr. President. The left hand.

DJT: Is that the same in Israel, too?
AV: Not really, but it would be best to do that there, too. They might wonder where your left hand had been.

DJT: Am I right? When I eat at a formal dinner, I'm supposed to use the spoon nearest the plate first?
AV: No, no, no. Just the opposite. Use the one farthest from the plate first. Or just use your fingers.

DJT: What do I do when those people are speaking in one of those foreign languages and then start laughing?
AV: Well, they're probably not talking about you, so you can just laugh along. Do you not speak other languages?

DJT: Well, I speak pig latin --- Bwahaha!
AV: {silence}

DJT: About the Pope again. Do I kneel when I kiss his ring or what?
AV: When he offers his hand, you could just do the "thumb over the shoulder" gesture. That's always good for a laugh.

DJT: One last thing. When I'm at a Burger King in Belgium, how do I order a Whopper with cheese, again.
AV: It's a Royale with Cheese. Do you think you can remember that?
DJT: I'll try, but maybe I'll just go to KFC, just to be safe.

[underpants]

1. There are two things Trump proves

Money can't buy class (even Russian money)
And
White supremacy is a myth.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. And:

DJT: If those people are speaking their foreign languages, they'll understand me if I talk louder, right?
AV: ....

DJT: How many copies of my electoral college victory map should we bring? They should each get one for my talk where I tell them about how I won the election.
AV: Uh, we can bring just one and we'll make as many copies of it as we need...

DJT: Do we have enough #MAGA hats to give everybody as souvenirs?
AV: I'm sure someone will look into that.

DJT: I'd like to build a beautiful golf course in Jerusalem, right up there on the hill. Can you set up a meeting with the owner? I can make a wonderful deal and they can have the very best, most fabulous golf course. And a beautiful hotel, lots of gold.
AV: ....

DJT: Oh, and I don't want to stay in any hotels that aren't mine. In fact, I've decided that we'll fly back to D.C. every evening after these boring meetings so I can have my steak well-done the way I like it.
AV: I'm sorry, sir. We can't do that; there isn't time.
DJT: Then I won't go. Those foreign people will have to come here. And stay in my new hotel.
DJT: Hello?
DJT: Where did you go?

[MineralMan]

3. LOL!