DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators

[name not needed]

HOMESTEAD, FL—Acting on a tip from a local fisherman who caught the former vice president siphoning gas from his outboard motor, DNC Chairman Tom Perez on Monday reportedly tracked down Joe Biden deep in the Florida Everglades tossing whole raw chickens to alligators.

Sources confirmed that the bearded, shaggy-haired Biden, who withdrew from public life four months ago, was initially startled to see Perez, dropping the bird carcass he was de-feathering and uttering “ah shit” when he recognized the newly elected head of the Democratic Party.

“How the fuck did you guys find me?” said Biden, flicking a lit cigarette into the swamp before wiping his brow with the bottom of his faded Merit cigarettes tank top. “I was really hoping I’d seen my last federale pencil pusher.”

“Ain’t much I can do for you unless you want to see ’ol Betsy here make a 10-pound leghorn disappear,” added the former six-term Delaware senator, dangling a limp chicken over the snapping jaws of an adult female alligator. “These days I’m just trying to put together a gator show for the tourists and make some scratch, but since you hauled ass all the way down here, I guess you got Uncle Joe’s ear.”

http://www.theonion.com/article/dnc-chair-tracks-down-biden-everglades-tossing-who-56056

[LonePirate]

1. The Onion's love for Joe Biden is the gift that keeps on giving.

[longship]

2. Indeed. The Onion and Joe Biden go way back.

It's the real deal.

Just Google "The Onion Joe Biden" and there will be many treasures.

Then there's the White House Correspondent's Dinner:

Something tells me he likes this coverage.

I would!