Republican Health-Care Plan Lacks Coverage for Injuries Resulting from Body Slamming
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The health-care bill passed by House Republicans earlier this month offers no coverage for injuries suffered as a result of body slamming, according to a report issued on Thursday.
The report, released by the nonpartisan Center for Comprehensive Health Coverage, warns of sharp increases in health-care costs for the nation’s body-slamming sufferers.
Costs associated with body slamming, such as X-rays to the elbow and other injured body parts, would have to be paid for out of pocket under the G.O.P. plan, the report says.
In a separate finding, the report indicates that the Republican health-care bill’s vision-care option does not offer replacement eyewear in the case of glasses being smashed or otherwise demolished in an unprovoked body-slamming incident.
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republican-health-care-plan-lacks-coverage-for-injuries-resulting-from-body-slamming?mbid=nl_052517%20Borowitz%20Newsletter%20
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