I know someone who knows someone who knows Paula Deen.

[Sugar Smack]

Can you imagine what an amazing addition to the White House she'd be? She'd be boss of her kitchen. Nobody in the world knows their fried vanilla puddings, cheesey-filled cheesecake crusts, or beeeeeaauuuuutiful chocolate birthday cake, more than Paula Deen. Nobody. (And from what I've heard, she's got quite a sense of humor)

Here she is, looking just a little like Marylin Monroe on JFK's birthday.


http://www.realitytvkids.com/2012/01/



Paula Deen, such a pioneer, shares that special distinction with a small group of noteworthy women.. women of the highest culinary talents. I found this picture of one of my personal favorites:


http://www.petitegourmess.com/2012/08/happy-100th-birthday-julia-child.html

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26186498/ns/us_news-security/t/julia-child-cooked-double-life-spy/#.WUAaydy1vIU

To me, nothing sounds more sensible than Paula Deen joining the WH staff in that very capacity, starting today. She'd have her work cut out for her, of course. But aren't all such things a symptom of valor, that being its own reward?? And that Birthday cake would be 6 feet high. Too full of buttercream frosting to allow room for "the girl" (Ivank) to jump out of said cake. See: everybody wins.

[Wounded Bear]

1. You wouldn't have an ulterior motive now would you?

[Sugar Smack]

7. Who, ME?!?

I'm just a homebody baker who loves her chamomile tea, her cat, and her books. I wish no motives on anyone.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

2. OMG! Butter fried butter sticks chased by a side of Micky D's

Be still my failing heart.

[GaYellowDawg]

4. I'll bet you that Paula Deen could deep fry Micky D's.

More butter!

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

6. Crap I forgot to add...

Served on a bed of racism.


My bad.

[Sugar Smack]

16. She'd be a good fit for THIS White House, then.

I don't mean maybe.

[csziggy]

24. She has her own version of hamburger served on a sliced donut

Paula Deen Is Trying to Kill Us, Part 4: Bacon, Doughnut, Egg Burger
Adam Kuban

On Serious Eats, we've got a bit of a running joke about all the ways in which Food Network superstar Paula Deen is trying to kill us (see P.D.I.T.T.K.U. Parts 1, 2, and 3). Introducing the Lady's Brunch Burger, her doughnut-bun burger. Sure, we've championed doughnut burgers on A Hamburger Today before, and Ms. Paula's isn't all that much different:

Sandwiched between sticky glazed doughnuts? Check.

Bacon? Check.

But the Lady steps it over the top by adding ... a FRIED EGG!
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2008/03/paula-deen-is-trying-to-kill-us-part-4-bacon-donut-egg-cheeseburger.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now she did deep fry cheese cake!

[gilbert sullivan]

22. It turns out that butter is way healthier than margerine or those other

chemical concoctions. And I happen to like Paula.

[Sugar Smack]

29. But, you know, bricks upon bricks of it concentratedly

hitting your liver can't be all that good for it. Which doesn't make Paula Deen any less likeable.

[gilbert sullivan]

36. Which is why I limit myself to 2 pats a day, and 7 beers.

[A HERETIC I AM]

37. That diet is almost entirely butter, for fucks sake.

[Sugar Smack]

38. That's a good sort of warner-brothers-sounding equation.

A little yin here, a lot of yang there.

[Sugar Smack]

27. I just felt the blood drain from my face.

[GaYellowDawg]

3. Fry everything!!

Fry it in lard! Fry it in butter! Put more butter on everything! Make America Cholesterol Again! Pork! Fries! Egg yolk batter! Buttercream icing!

Frankly, I think that Dear Leader President Trump needs all the butter-soaked, deep fried food that he can pack in. It'll be great for his health and longevity along with the lack of exercise!

Paula Deen, your country needs you!

[MFM008]

5. That should be a bumper

Sticker.

Fry everything!

[Sugar Smack]

8. And another one: "Paula Deen, Your Country Needs You"

[malaise]

9. ROFL

[Sugar Smack]

11. It would be like inviting the entire NC State Fair to the WH!

It would be just like a carnival, as every single day in the White House SHOULD be.


http://healthyinthekitchen.com/?m=201011

[irisblue]

10. May I offer you a tea.....bows deeply @ your genius.

[Sugar Smack]

18. Chamomile...? Let me pour!

<-tea with honey, and many thanks!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. And it's off to the Greatest Page........

With your deep fried thread!

[Sugar Smack]

20. Thank you, CalPeg! Posting this thread's about to make my face break out.

So I'm going to have some of these-


http://jeannettesdelicacies.com/2015/08/31/10-reasons-why-cucumbers-should-be-apart-of-your-daily-diet/#post/0

[n2doc]

13. And you know the Don loves his fried chicken!

[Sugar Smack]

21. Doesn't that chicken breast look harmless?

As harmless as it is American! It could be like a centerpiece in a similarly-hued carb-frenzy platter. Frankly, I could see a Mac-and-27-cheese casserole arranged artfully around it.

[n2doc]

25. Gotta add some Bacon to that Mac!

Bacon makes everything better!

[Sugar Smack]

40. And a "tremendous" splat of ketchup right in the middle.

[cwydro]

14. Love this idea!

Perfect!

[Sugar Smack]

30. Thank you, cwydro---

--- I'm thinking of writing and illustrating a cautionary children's book about "Easy D"'s Birthday Party. And think Veruca Salt, or the "waffer-thin-mint" guy as a sort of surprise ending.

[C_U_L8R]

15. Two scoops!

With an extra portion of everything!

[Sugar Smack]

23. What IS this *two* scoop nonsense? Only Losers have *two* scoops

on their birthdays. Bring it on, my good people.


https://www.pinterest.com/source/sexiestfoods.tumblr.com

(I've just started formulating -in my mind- a children's book out of this. It's tempting. I may start work on it-it's a cautionary tale)

[tblue37]

17. And apparently she is sufficiently racist to not offend his base. nt

[Sugar Smack]

19. Exactly: she'd fit in seamlessly.

Plus, she'd keep the WH well-fed. Here are some grilled peanut-butter and banana sandwiches. They have bacon in them. Calories enough for the energy to leap out of one's chair & race for the bathroom, settle in, and twitter all night long.



http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/paulas-fried-peanut-butter-and-banana-sandwich-recipe-1917168

[Vinnie From Indy]

26. I heard her Biscuits and Slavey are exquisite.

[Sugar Smack]

35. That's well-known. She'll do quite well in the White House.

[QED]

28. Her Lemon Blossoms are a hit everytime I make them.

And no butter at all!



Recipe:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/lemon-blossoms-recipe-1945037

[Sugar Smack]

32. Donnie-o will *demand* bacon bits on those. And not for nothing,

I've worked in 3 bakeries. It's amazing that anyone could take a perfectly ordinary lemon, a non-caloric fruit from nature. Add so much butter and sugar & caramel and cream cheese to it, & wind up perverting & redefining that small morsel of nature. (Spoken from the point of view of someone who craves a good lemon bar.)

[QED]

33. Everything is better with bacon.

I hate to agree with him on anything but bacon.....

[WinkyDink]

31. Why pick on her today? She paid her dues in the wilderness.

[Sugar Smack]

34. We're not picking on Paula Deen. We're picking on Donald Trump.

We're appreciating her skills in the kitchen and her cream-laden assemblages, and applying them to usefulness in the White House kitchen. It's a silly thread.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

39. Ok Sugar Smack...now that the thread is almost done...

"Looking a little like Marylin Monroe?

Hey SS when I was a little kid maybe 8-9. That woman was my "looking at" girl.

It was a long time ago but Paula can't hold a butter stick compared to MM.

I was lucky enough to be able to marry a woman that looked like MM.
That was 44 years and 5 kids ago. She is still so beautiful to me.

But Paula? No way!

[Sugar Smack]

41. Well, on second look,

maybe what I must have meant was closer to- they both have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth, blonde hair, and a smile. Interesting. Looking into bifocals.


http://sarcasmlol.com/2017/03/01/marilyn-monroe-badass-rare-photos/

Congrats on having a big, loving family!!

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

42. LOMS...

Laughing on my sofa!

Have a very great night.