Mike Pence, DENIED the orgasmic JOY of banging his tiny little deciding TrumpCare gavel last night
It was floated ALL DAY on TV...that Pence MIGHT be the deciding vote for the "skinny bill," which...in that form...would have thrown 16 million off of healthcare and dramatically raised premiums.
AND HE WAS DENIED.
He had to snuggle into his little Pence bed last night and weep gentle Pence tears while, instead of counting sheep to lull himself into sleep, he counted the 16 million losers who might have fallen under his mighty deciding gavel.
Just before nodding off, he forgave God for disappointing him so bitterly, and blew a gentle kiss across the room to Mommy, who had fallen asleep hours ago. In his prayers, he asked the Lord to impeach President Trump so he could be President (as he does every night), and pleaded with him to smite all of his enemies (basically everyone on the planet except Mommy..."Take your time, Lord, I know you're a busy guy."
Around 3 AM he snuck into the kitchen for two scoops ("If HE can have two scoops, SO CAN I"
, but left half of the bowl uneaten in the sink. "This delicious frozen dessert tastes like bitter ashes in my mouth," he wept, as he went back to bed.
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freakin' yeah! 
