Pre-nup agreement gives Tom Cruise sole custody

wish i had a picture that i saw of the guy from history channel who says yup its aliens would fit this perfectly.

recieved my thought patterns, love this pic i always think hes still drunk after a date with some sailors and hes reliving it.

Holmes embraces conventional lunacy
12-07-12

KATIE Holmes has left the world of Scientology for a more normal type of bullshit by experimenting with Catholicism.

Holmes is considering a return to the spiritual values of Dawson's Creek
The former flat heel wearer has severed all ties with Scientologists after her clean-shaven husband informed the organisation that she didn’t exist and was merely Xenu disguised as a mediocre actress.

Holmes said: “I was worried that after all those years of Hubbardism or whatever it’s called, believing in things that require evidence straight away might be like a 300-pound woman trying to run the New York marathon.

“I’m starting with the Pope and all his colourful brand of magical batshittery, then gradually working my way back to normality.

“I’ll hopefully be moving onto being a Methodist by the end of next year as they’re just slightly mental and a bit mean-spirited rather than tits-out crazy.”

Holmes hopes to have finally reached the stage where she stops believing in fairy stories at the same stage as her daughter Suri and has also started to de-bullshit-ise other aspects of her life.

She is currently working with a dietician on what constitutes a healthy weight, how eating less calories than you consume is the only actual way of losing weight in first place and why a dietician actually needs to study for their qualification rather than printing off the internet like a nutritionist.

Helpers are also working to remove the healing crystals from her home, moving the furniture to what looks good rather than what is ‘proper Feng Shui’ and are patiently explaining that acting is just well-paid dressing up rather than the hardest job in the world.

Holmes added: “Somebody suggested I try homeopathy but while I may be Tom Cruise’s ex and an actor, I’m not a complete fucking idiot.”


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/holmes-embraces-conventional-lunacy-2012071234052

And put the full force of his department to close it down.

If you're there then these are the other two here.

http://newsthump.com/

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/

I think we all need to keep our sense of humour
when so many things are FUBAR

That's a better explanation than most.

South Park's send off of Tom Cruise and Scientology is the best thing since Operation Clambake.

As Jay Novella once said, "Get a bowl and some milk because this guy is coo-coo for Cocao Puffs."

Indeed he is, as is any Scientologist true believer.

Tom Cruise's lawyer has threatened to sue US publication the National Enquirer, over a cover story branding the actor "a monster".

Bert Fields said the article about Cruise's split from wife Katie Holmes contained "false and vicious lies".

The lawyer said it would cause Cruise "hundreds of millions of dollars of professional and personal damages".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18826213