Young people don't want their parents' stuff

[crazycatlady]

I know DU skews older. So Boomers, think about this as you downsize.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/your-money/aging-parents-with-lots-of-stuff-and-children-who-dont-want-it.html?_r=0

[rusty quoin]

1. I don't want my stuff.

[mountain grammy]

21. +1

[Alice11111]

81. + 1000

[spanone]

25. bwahahahahaaa i agree...and i surely don't blame them

[samnsara]

67. me neither! lol

[Freedomofspeech]

2. My kids have already told me that.

We are planning on donating a lot of "stuff" to a Mennonite resale shop...The World's Attic. They do so much for peace and also for refugees.

[Tikki]

3. The mister and I figured about 10 items either son might want. We have come to terms that...

they may not want anything. That leaves many items to garage sales, donation or give away to someone besides them.

Though my husband has built fine furniture..it will be better going to someone who would really want each piece.

The Tikkis

[Croney]

4. Just this afternoon I donated a punch bowl with 18 cups,

to a historical society that said they were looking for one for some reason. I thought that sucker would sit in the basement till my dying day. My kids don't want my old china and framed prints and handmade tablecloths. All I want myself is 20% of the stuff I own.

[brush]

31. Have an estate sale. There are people who do it professionally who can help...

you price stuff.

Estate sales are steps up from yard or garage sales. You keep the items in the house, sort of like staging a house to sell, and you can charge more.

Pocket the money or share it with the kids.

[Boxerfan]

5. Prices on a lot of "collectibles" are in the tank.

And that is if they were true collectable items in the 1st place. A lot of the stuff hoarded now doesn't qualify as scrap.

I like old pocket watches & have benefitted from low prices. But my children could care less & eventually it will be sold off.

Just the way it is...

[LeftInTX]

6. We didn't want much of our parents' stuff

My dad kept trying to give me my mother's old clothes. They sat in his closet until he passed away last year. We divided up photos. We divided up some art, gave most of it away. One of my kids took a little bit of furniture.

[Warpy]

8. My folks' clothing was evenly divided between Aunt Sally

and the nursing home they died in. My dad's out of style suits still had the 1974 cleaner's tags still on them. I imagine someone will be buried in each of them, they would be fine for that.

They had a few things I wished I had room for, like an old HoJo's table in the kitchen.

[pnwmom]

11. Nobody offered or wanted any clothes. But I was HAPPY to get furniture,

including my grandmother's piano.

I think it's sad that no one wants pianos anymore.

[LeftInTX]

13. My nephew wanted my parent's piano

But the logistics of getting it to his house, which was only across town, prevented him from getting it.

[Grammy23]

75. My niece recently sold their 2800 sq.ft. Home in anticipation of moving

to a retirement community. They gave away tons of things to family, friends and thrift stores. She had a Baldwin Acrosonic piano that belonged to her mom purchased around 1955. It had been maintained, kept tuned, etc. It was in excellent condition. She called schools, nursing homes, day cares, churches and thrift stores. No one wanted it, even FREE. She wound up giving it to a guy who tunes and repairs pianos who said he gets people who want to buy used pianos plus he would come pick it up. So while you might THINK it would be easy to donate a good piano, the answer is NO! It was not easy.

[crazycatlady]

18. My maternal grandparents recently passed

They bought their house from my great grandparents and it was never cleaned out after they passed (1995, 2001). Their clothes were still in the closet when we went to clean it out.

[Dulcinea]

42. Replacements Ltd. might take china, crystal, silver, etc.

Furniture & clothes can be donated. Don't just throw it away to sit in a landfill! There are plenty of worthy charities that need old stuff you may not have any use for. One of my favorite charities in the International Rescue Committee, which helps refugees settle in the United States. They need EVERYTHING!

https://www.rescue.org/

[DeminPennswoods]

52. Replacements Ltd will take this, but

unless it's "in demand" stuff, it'll cost more to pack/ship than you'll be paid. My mom has started giving things to her family/friends that they want while she's alive to see them enjoy it. There are only a few things that I don't want to go to an estate sale and I'll make provisions for them in my own will.

[Warpy]

7. Stuff your parents have is just old, shabby stuff

Now that mid century modern stuff their grandparents had, that stuff is really cool.

And so it goes, generation to generation, unless one is rich enough to inherit a houseful of "George Washington sat here" type antiques.

[Cuthbert Allgood]

9. Then my kids can do whatever they want when I'm dead.

I won't care. But if my son just pitches my good comics (and I have made it clear to him what I have that is actually collectible and what is just crap I like and am emotionally attached to), I'll haunt his ass if that's possible. Same with my ties. I have nearly 300. Most are nothing special money-wise, but a good dozen are two are vintage worth couple hundred a piece.

But, ultimately, I'll be dead so I won't care. But, come on, a signed, sealed first Elektra appearance? That better not hit the garbage.

[lunasun]

14. Try and see what they are worth currently so you can let him know which to save or sell

[Cuthbert Allgood]

20. Oh, for sure.

I see comicbookrealm.com to keep track of every comic I own. They put a value on it which is pretty close to what the market is doing. I have my username and password for that (and everything else) in my safe so they can get access when I kick the bucket.

But I guess I'm just saying that all the stuff I have is to make me (and my wife) happy. If my kids don't want it, they can get rid of it. My siblings and I did that with all my parents' stuff after they died. As sad as it was that they were no longer with us, there was some happy level of nostalgia going through stuff.

[Sgent]

37. My parents

are big into fine art - sculpture and painting, so I will probably have to deal with that in the future. They live in a large house with lots of rooms to showcase it, non of the children have space for it, nor are we as enamored of it as they are. Most of the stuff was purchased from new / regionally known artists, some of whom are still regionally known, a couple are national or international superstars, and others who have dropped from memory.

It would be REALLY useful to have a list of what's / what and who to talk to when the time comes! Which things can be sold via estate sale vs go to a broker / dealer / gallery (I don't know how this is done), and who to go to, at least 3 names of reputable people companies.

[Mariana]

10. Most of my parents' stuff is just fugly.

I wouldn't want to look at that crap every day. I'm an Xer.

[LeftInTX]

12. Our stuff is fugly...Can't afford better stuff

[Mariana]

19. There is plenty of expensive fugly stuff out there.

Some of it lives in my parents' house.

You know, once upon a time, my dad would pick stuff up off the side of the road, and we would use it. Some of it was fine as is, and some he spent some time and effort making it nice. I would love to have some of that stuff, but it's all gone now. They threw it out and and replaced it with the awful crap they have now.

[lunasun]

15. This times a zillion ! Take a photo if you want them to remember it .

[Shrike47]

16. I know they don't want our stuff, but I like some of it. When's the right time to let go?

A few of our things have value; I plan on making a list for the kids.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

17. The mountain of shit my parents have moved into my house is unbelievable

My mother's collection of Douglas Aircraft microfiche will bring me great joy one day, I couldn't impress upon her that the fact they let her keep it in the first place meant it had no possible value.

[Luciferous]

22. My mother AND grandmother are packrats. They already know I don't want their stuff.

My mom told me that she is leaving most of her stuff to my sister because she knows that my brother and I would just get rid of it. My MIL is also a pack rat who tries to give us stuff every time we go for a visit. I'm the only one who seems to have the ability to say no to her.

[Dulcinea]

44. My MIL was the same way.

When she died in 2008, we found clothes with the tags still on them from the 1980s. Most of her stuff went to Amvets.

[Luciferous]

62. Mine likes to buy stuff at Goodwill and then tries

to give the stuff to her kids. I told my husband she's a hoarder who doesn't want to mess up her own house lol

[phylny]

23. Are 89-year-old people "Boomers" as mentioned in the article?

I am. We are slowly, but surely, ridding our house of stuff so that when we die, our kids won't have to deal with it. We live on a lake, and they can all choose to keep the house, or sell it.

And I'm 59 - and a boomer.

ETA: You can always use china as your "every day" plates

[TexasBushwhacker]

29. 89 isn't a Boomer. They are the "Greatest Generation"

They lived through the Great Depression and WWII.

[phylny]

33. Yeah, I knew the article was wrong :) n/t

[crazycatlady]

43. Just as many Boomers are downsizing

I know my parents (born in 49 so clearly Boomers) have expressed disappointment that I have no interest in their dining room set. They were hurt when I told them to put it on Craigslist.

[Sparkly]

24. Poor babies.

At least there's a lot we didn't give them.

We didn't give them the same set of racial and sexist discrimination we fought against, let alone assault, without any legal recourse.
We didn't give them a military draft requiring boys to fight and die as young as 18, before they were trusted to drink or vote.
We didn't give them a childhood watching the leaders who offered hope for a way forward being assassinated, one after another.
We didn't give them college campuses where students were shot dead for peaceful demonstrations.

And we weren't victims, either. Because there's a lot our parents didn't give us.

They didn't give us a life of national famine with no end in sight, as they saw in the 1930s.
They didn't give us childhoods sacrificing for fear that genocidal foreign powers might destroy us in our beds, as in the 1940s, and beyond.
They didn't give us a life with zero chance for upward mobility, before FDR, the GI Bill and other federal investments.
They didn't give us lives without indoor plumbing and electricity, as many of them knew as normal, and many in our generation grew up with.

And they would say they weren't victims, either. Because THEIR parents.... etc..

This is the natural course of an evolving nation's progress.

What a shame, though, that the "Boomers" have burdened the next generation with -- OMG! -- having to deal with stuff. Few could imagine the life-altering impact!!

I would say that this is part of the course of progress as well -- even Socrates noted the unparalleled insolence of adolescence in his day -- but I think this is cultural, because my generation knew and appreciated the progress our parents made, and the progress we were making as we fought forward. We saw the sacrifices they made, and knew the benefits bestowed to us, and were clear about the road ahead. Now, it's fashionable to be "post-feminist" and complain that "If I must do anything for my country, then I'm not truly free!" and whine about "I can only vote my conscience."

I'm sorry. NO PITY. I continue to believe we need a national draft -- not military necessarily, but SOME service to others -- along with unity of cause. Because it seems to me the politics of the day -- around the 1980s -- succeeded in tearing apart everything that once held us together, including generational connections. (Hence the all-out attacks against the Clintons, as representatives of the 1960s.)

Please consider these things, read up and talk to old folks, think about it and keep it in mind whenever you find yourself reading, or assuming, anything about "Boomers." This is a HUGE part of the divide the rightwing has created in our culture and country.

[crazylikafox]

71. +1000

[Kittycow]

80. Amen!

[Baitball Blogger]

26. But, but, beanie babies!!!

[kimbutgar]

27. Not just young people

Today I worked on cleaning out my parents home in the garage. My mother passed in 2016, Dad 20 years ago. So much stuff and so much junk. I hired someone to haul away who didn't have a big enough truck. Ended up leaving Extra stuff outside the house for dumpster divers,. I'll hire someone else to takeaway more.

But the whole time I'm doing it I think it's going to fall upon someone to dispose of my stuff when I'm gone. I have to downside every opportunity I get.

[Demtexan]

28. I did not want my parents stuff.

They were depression kids and kept everything.

I keep very little.

Stuff owns you.

[KentuckyWoman]

30. I'm just heartbroken for Ms. Beauregard

to be stuck with her Mom's expensive Lenox gravy boat.

I'm glad she's going to go out of her way to break it to Mom instead of just waiting until Mom passes on to sell it off and pocket the cash.

Not quite as horrid as having to break into the trust fund to get through ivy league college but it's got to be tough.

[Historic NY]

32. I've explained to my niece....

that the books aren't worth 50 cents in fact more than a few are in the 4 figure range. Mostly they all go to a learning place library. Cars can go to a museum or to my friends who will know what to do with them. Antiques & antique firearms the same museum .

She can burn the place down then.

[SharonClark]

34. My family has never been sentimental about things.

When Dad died last year all his clothes went to the homeless shelter. Mom knows my sister and I will give away ever usable thing she has to charity. We"ll keep the money.

[lunamagica]

35. I don't get not wanting the silver. And what about recycling? Isn't it better to use all those

things instead of dumping them and buying more stuff?

[Solly Mack]

36. I don't even want my stuff.

Which is why I donate it or sell it off.

My goal is a house without crap that needs to be dusted or cleaned more than once a week. I prefer toilets to be cleaned daily - so that won't change but the amount of stuff in my bathrooms will.

I'm working on getting rid of dressers by making storage that can be carried from the laundry to the bedroom and stored for use. I'm working out a basket system with just enough room for clothing that must hang. I'm almost finished with the project.

This also requires getting rid of old clothing.

The one room that is an exception is the kitchen. I cook and bake and do both well, so I need space and gadgets.

I usually buy secondhand anyway, and refurbish, re-purpose, and redo. When needed, I build what I need myself- like my clothing storage.

We're downsizing because all we need is a place to sleep, a place to shower, room for books and music, musical instruments (my husband), my cameras as well as building/craft/refinishing area, and my power tools.

We have several dog beds spread across the house, with an area for their toys and playthings. They also have one of those 3 drawer plastic dressers for their tees, hoodies, and foot gear for cold weather. It's their house anyway. lol

[Duppers]

38. They buy cheap junk and shun treasures.

3 of my son's expensive gourmet meals would pay for his composite wood coffee table, bed, or entertainment center!

I'm happy that my 30yo son's serious girlfriend seems to admire the stuff in my house because he certainly doesn't. She commented favorably on some of my things that she didn't have to mention.

Do young Europeans also feel this way?

We saved to buy nice (not foofoo) English/French type traditional things. Hubby and I LIKE my mother's solid Cherry furniture and traditional china. I opted for a simple band china pattern when I was married (folks were buying those sort of wedding gifts instead of giving us money which we seriously needed). But now I love love love my mother's sweet, delicate pale rose patterned china.

Perhaps these adult kids will change their minds as I did about the china? We can hope.

[crazycatlady]

40. I"m 37 and will probably never want fine china

I always thought it was ridiculous to have and store dishes that are only used 3 times a year at most and are not dishwasher safe.

My idea of entertaining is ordering pizza. I'll don't have a dining room (and don't want one). If I had one, I'd convert it to an office.

[LeftInTX]

77. I'm 60 and do not own fine china

I tried when I first got married, but my kitchen was too small.
The nice stuff collected dust and took up too much room.
It found a new home at Goodwill.

[Duppers]

82. Wasn't my idea but I've grown to appreciate it.

My parents had tons of friends & family and the big wedding shindig was their idea. They wanted to party. Mom gave me the guest list ssshhee wanted to invite (said in a Jim Carrey voice) & made me pick out china. It was not my idea!! This was the stone age - 1967!!! Then the silly gifts rolled in. We really needed $!! It was years before I appreciated the china...in the least.
Yep, btw, we'll be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary next Saturday.

My son does appreciate my crystal stemware because he's a huge wine (& beer) connoisseur. He's bringing some of his best bottles for the celebration.
I don't have a dining room btw but a huge great room - no separate living, family rooms. Dining table, china hutch are at one end, elevated study at the other.

I just don't want nice things thrown in the trash when I'm gone. And we think my son and his friends' lifestyle is extravagant by our standards. But to each his own - we should try not judge.

[crazycatlady]

84. My sister has spoken for my parents' china

She's always been more formal than me and has a formal dining room (and hosts holidays) and entertains like that. She's more than welcome to it.

She even registered for it when she got married (2009). I've been told now that employees really push fine china onto registries. I know of a couple who registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond with no intention of registering for china. When they checked their registry online that night, a store employee had added china against their wishes.

I don't like stuff thrown in the trash either. I've furnished apartments and offices exclusively on curbside and thrift store furniture before (exception being a mattress).

[burrowowl]

39. Clothes can also be donated to

theater groups for costumes for period pieces as well!

[LeftInTX]

86. Cheap costume jewelry too

My husband is a high school principal. My mom passed away in 2014.
She had some gawdy stuff, which the theater teacher wanted.
She also collected art postcards - which went to numerous art teachers in numerous schools.
She also collected postcards from her travels - those postcards went to local elementary schools.
We also donated most of her art books to the schools.

I also found a large tempra paint poster I had done in high school. It was abstract and very 70s. The poster was in excellent condition. My son accused me of painting marijuana leaves. I took a picture of it and the sent the poster to Goodwill. Who knows, maybe some kid will have a similar art project.

[MineralMan]

41. They can have my stuff, if they want it.

I don't.

[Codeine]

45. Yeah, I can't imagine my kids looking forward to

"Here's several thousand books in boxes. Shouldn't take up more than half your garage, give or take. Oh, and there's maybe another couple thousand on shelves in the house. Enjoy!"

[exboyfil]

60. Sound like me

I have done several purges over the years (including getting rid of some books that I never read - much to my shame).

My books are in three basic groups.

Textbooks and Reference Books

Even though I got rid of my MBA books years ago and updated many of my engineering books. For years I purchased textbooks thinking they would be useful in the future (bargain bin diving). I also got many reference books over the years through book clubs.

Older paperbacks with sentimental value (Burroughs, Farmer, Ellison, etc)

A big batch of current reference books I got for a song from book clubs. I need to read these at some point.

I make it a policy to no longer purchase books. I can't handle the guilt of the books I have not read.

A lot of my book reading has been converted to audiobooks so I can also exercise or cook at the same time.

[Codeine]

93. Probably a third of mine are what my daughter

calls my "nerdy war books"; ACW, WW2, and Greco-Roman military histories along with some more general history texts. I'll admit not all of this has been read.

Another third is forty years of SF and fantasy reading, everything from old-school classics to recent bestsellers. The highlight is several shelves of Harlan Ellison reflecting a number of years of obsession with his work I went through in the 90s.

The last third is a frankly embarrassing quantity of RPG rulebooks and source books along with loads of egregiously bad game-related fiction. I would be shocked if I actually used even 5% of these in actual gaming instead of casual reading.

None of this takes into account the comics and graphic novels.

[exboyfil]

94. Kindred spirit

I sold my old AD&D stuff ten years ago, but I loved to play when I was in high school. Probably would pick up with board campaign games when I retire.

I have many of those nerdy history books as well. Along with a pretty good collection of Christian reference materials.

I let go of my secret embarrassment - Dr. Who novelizations about seven years ago. I gave them to my daughter's friend (yes I probably could have sold them for more, but I knew that she would appreciate them). Ironically my daughters, thanks to this friend, became Dr. Who fans later.

My Harlan Ellison phase was in the early to mid-80s when I was in college.

Check on the comics and graphic novels. A few years ago I went through and segregated the higher value comics and sold them to a comic book shop (probably did not get full value, but I did not want to spend too much time with them). I am now trying to figure out how to get my twenty plus banker's boxes of comics to my nephew. They are not stored in collection condition (I got out of it soon after college when I met my wife). Other than bagging and boarding the more valuable, I have let the others just sit in boxes (most aren't worth much). I gave all the childrens ones to our local hospital (the one that took care of my daughter when she had appendicitis and the one she will probably now work at as a nurse).

[cwydro]

46. This is funny.

My mother died in February, and I'm having to clean out her condo. She must have 17 sets of china, innumerable oriental rugs, silver, crystal...you name it.

The silver is very old and worth quite a bit, but I don't have the heart to sell it. Hours of my childhood were spent polishing that silver lol.

I suppose I could sell the china etc. as well, but I'm just donating everything I'm not keeping to Habitat, Goodwill, Salvation Army, et.al.

It's an exhausting, overwhelming, and depressing task...much of it going into storage for future perusal, but I despair of every finding use for most of the things I'm keeping. Sigh.

[PasadenaTrudy]

47. I live in a one bedroom apt

already. Can't see how I would down-size...to a studio size? No kids to give stuff to, oh well

[DFW]

48. When my parents passed

They left us so much cool stuff, even the three of us didn't have space for everything we wanted.

I HATED leaving that house, and was sick when we had to sell it. When they built it, it was on the shore of a small lake in Northern Virginia in a remote area with only dirt roads that were hard to navigate when it rained. Now, of course, it's "Washington suburbs."

As for us, I have no idea what our two girls will want to do with our stuff. Guitars, minerals, political memorabilia, endless books, good luck with that! They'll sell the guitars since none of them play, but the rest? I have photos I hope they never ditch. One of FDR autographed to my grandfather, one of Bobby Kennedy made out to my dad, one of JFK that he made out to me (I was 11, my dad arranged that), more recent stuff with me/us with Clinton, Obama, if they have any plans to toss them out, I hope I don't live to hear about it!

[lunasun]

61. I remember your pics. Maybe a CD of all pics for both of them . Easier to keep

[DFW]

73. From a strictly practical standpoint, you're right

But from a personal and sentimental standpoint, FDR didn't sign a CD, JFK didn't sign a CD, Mark Twain didn't sign a CD. It's a different feeling to hold in my hand something they held as they signed it. No CD can replace that.

[LeftInTX]

87. Put the valuable photos aside and/or list them in your will

That way they know you treasure them.

We had to go through my dad's photos after he died. He took pictures of everything it. It was alot of work. If he had a few selected photos that had been marked, it would have been easier.

You can also take pictures of things that you want them to keep. That way, it makes the decision easier for them. Also, if you have negatives of any of those photos, keep them. (I made the mistake of throwing negatives away)

[nini]

49. I have a ton of china and crystal that belonged to both my grndmothers

No one wants it and i have a big family.

It's heirloom stuff and not crap. It makes me sick it wont stay in thd family.

[crazycatlady]

51. Here's the problem

(This is coming from a borderline millennial)

We as a generation move more than previous generations. When you live in a one bedroom apartment (as opposed to a 4 BR house) you only have so much storage space.

Also we are less formal than other generations. Said 1BR apartment does not have a formal dining room to store china and crystal. And our idea of entertaining isn't throwing a formal dinner party-- it is inviting friends over for pizza and Netflix.

I grew up in a house with a formal living room and dining room. We were not allowed in it except for certain occasions (holidays). We ate and 'lived' in the family room.

[nini]

70. I didn't start out in a 4 bedroom house in my twenties & thirties

I still don't have that nor do I want it or formal parties. That's not the problem.

It's a lack of appreciation for their roots. I have enough nieces and nephews where they could take a piece or two for sentimental reasons. They simply do not give a shit about having something from their ancestors. I have a 150 year old crucifix of my great grandmothers. It's priceless to me. They don't feel that kind of connection to their ancestors because they're self absorbed.

I don't expect anyone to want my cruise ship memorabilia.. I get that since I don't know what the hell to do with it myself now and will sell on ebay.. But a remembrance of those who came before them shouldn't be considered 'crap' either.

[crazycatlady]

72. There's a way to remember who you are without stuff

I have two pieces of family history displayed. They're both ancestors of mine (one on each side) who ran for office. Their campaign posters are framed and and hanging on the wall. The other piece of family history I found cleaning out my grandparents' place was a typed out history of my family dating back to the Mayflower. I preserved it as I could (it was falling apart-- I put it in a sheet protector), took a photo of it, and later typed it out as a Word document (updated by adding two more generations).

Taking a photo of the item you want to remember is a good substitute and you don't have to move, store, maintain, etc. It just lives on a phone or computer (or you can print it out).

A framed print is a lot easier to store and move than a dining room set.

I'm looking at moving across the country after next year. I am downsizing to the point where it has to fit in my car to make the move (nothing large I have is worth the cost of shipping it cross country). Am I self absorbed for not wanting to spend more in moving costs than my car is worth?


ETA I have other stuff from deceased ancestors. I inherited my grandmother's knitting collection (yarn and needles) and have used some of the yarn (the pink stuff) and her needles to make pussyhats. I'm working on a hat right now (her pink yarn has since been used up and I've bought more) using her needles now. Two DUers have pussyhats made with her yarn.

[nini]

74. I'm not talking about dining rooms sets.. I'm talking about a plate and a cup, or vase etc..

Small things.. which you admit to having so I don't get why you don't understand my point.

The family members I am talking about aren't like you anyway. They are settled with big houses (bigger than my own) so they don't have the excuse they are on the move or don't have the space.

I'm moving to Portugal in a few years. I have to get rid of lots of stuff myself. I'll be taking some family things because they're important to where I come from. I'll ship them..no problem

[crazycatlady]

79. I will admit I wouldn't want a plate or cup

Stuff to me is a utility. It is meant to serve a purpose. If it doesn't serve said purpose, it is considered a knick-knack (I packed up 15 large rubbermaid totes of them cleaning out my grandparents' house and it made me never want to buy another). My mom has several teapots on display. To me, if the teapot isn't used for tea, then it is a knick-knack. AS a child, my mother would constantly throw out stuff that meant something to me so I've long stopped having an emotional relationship with things (I had to fight to save my favorite childhood stuffed animal).

My grandmother and great grandmother's knitting collection (it was mingled) is in use. I haven't used all the yarn but I use the respective sized needles as a project I make requires them. I don't feel bad for using up skeins of yarn because they were used for their intended purpose.

The stuff as a utility rule I have applies to both stuff I buy and inherit. For gifts, I prefer experiences or consumables (I'm a coffee addict so a bag of beans is a perfect gift for me). Even when I buy stuff, I have to use it at least as many times as what I paid for it to be worth it (ie I have to wear a $10 shirt 10 times).

I think others in my generation (and myself) don't mind taking a few things here and there that can be used. But taking a formal china and crystal set when you don't entertain, or furniture that you don't have the space for is when it becomes a burden.

[KatyMan]

50. eh, I'll be dead

Last edited Fri Aug 25, 2017, 04:16 PM - Edit history (1)

If they want to sell it all, burn it, put it in a dumpster whatever it won't make a difference to me!
Saying that, though, my wife and I have moved so much (including several international moves) that we don't really have a lot of extra stuff, and what we have the kids would likely want to keep (my wife has a lot of Irish crystal and Irish Dresden, and I have, well, guitars...). We're also probably the least nostalgic people one could meet, so we don't keep a lot of stuff.

[RandySF]

53. I'm a Ge-Xer and I don't want my dad's stuff.

We simply do not have the space for it.

[mercuryblues]

54. My plan is

when we downsize for the kids to come in and take whatever they want then. I get veto power just in case I still want it or need it. I want them to give me a list of things they want, that I am keeping.

If some is still left that I think should stay in the family, It will be offered out to cousins, nieces and nephews.

Then I will buy the cheap stuff that can be donated or tossed when we are gone.

After our Mom passed I had one sibling wanting just about everything and started the bickering. Then she had the nerve to say she got nothing. She filled up her huge SUV 4 times and I walked out with a target bag.

10 years later I am waiting for my copies of movies and pictures she promised she would copy for all of us.

IOW I am going to try to avoid that ill will with my kids.

[DesertRat]

55. k&r

[RobinA]

56. Whatever...

as they would say. My sister and I (boomers) have a lot of stuff from my parents that have been in the family. Including a shit ton of photos. Actual hard copy photographs of people and lifestyles gone by. It means something to us because of that. If the kids don't want it when we're dead it's theirs to dispose if they want. They and their future children will have to live in the world they create.

[crazycatlady]

64. photos can be digitized

Many people are putting them on a family blog/website/social media page so they can be enjoyed by all.

[RobinA]

78. That's Fine

until the next technology change makes it all obsolete. Kinda like my sister's movies of her kids that are on some kind of now-unreadable tape. Sure, it could be migrated...and then migrated again. But somehow that never happens. We've got pictures from the '40's but nothing from the '90's. Nope, digital's fun to play with, but for anything that I want to last it's strictly hardcopy for me. As long as my eyes work I can look at it.

[jcmaine72]

57. Depends on what it is.

My dad's prized baseball card collection (Hank Aaron's and Bob Gibson's rookie cards, among others), gimme! gimme!! gimme!!!

His beloved, well-worn, 1970's vintage naugahyde lounge chair, however.....

[no_hypocrisy]

58. I donated 98% of my parents' stuff

The liquor went to Knights of Columbus.
Their wardrobes from the Forties and Fifties went to a local theater company.
My father's Brooks Bros. suits went to Catholic Charities, specifically for veterans looking for interview clothes.
50 boxes of stuff to Vietnam Vets.
Kitchen cookware (e.g., pots and pains) to a young woman who was homeless but scored her first apartment.
Leftover dog kibble and leashes to the animal shelter.
Lamps to a thrift shop that serves 50 charities.
Mom's clothes to Goodwill.
Loveseat, double bed, three chests of drawers, two nightstands to a young couple just getting by.

I refused to just put unwanted stuff in a dumpster. My donations were still viable/not garbage, and I wasn't going to dishonor the memory of my parents by throwing it out.

[dembotoz]

59. relevant story for me....unloadeed some stuff and much more to go

my parents were not into collectables so or expensive stuff so decisions are easier

had a surprisingly hard time with some dishes i bought my mom years ago....nice and all but they got this stupid
metallic rim that means i can not stick them in the nuker.....cheap stuff then still cheap stuff now but not donated

i think we all have the fear of seeing something we dumped show up on antiques roadshow and be worth like
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

so the clutter remains

[Runningdawg]

63. I have my family furniture

I like it - because I am a minimalist. The style is Shaker and that works well for me. I can't afford todays "minimal" furniture. No kids to complain about it either.

[Frustratedlady]

65. I have dealt in antiques over the past 30 years or so, mainly stuff I picked up at garage or estate

sales for next to nothing because their kids didn't have a clue. I was recently asked to check out a houseful of items to see if there were any good items among the Wal-Mart junk. It was embarrassing. The woman had money and could have invested in quality items, but most of it (except the furniture) wasn't even worth a quarter in a garage sale. She had boxes full of jewelry that we went through and rarely found any good pieces. Most were junk. Even costume jewelry is gaining in value (1940-70s) but she had very little.

The sad thing is, beyond the house, she had a double and a single garage full to the rafters. I didn't go into either of them, so I don't know if they were all full of junk, or not.

Primitives are hot now. If you have old cabinets that have been tool chests or work tables in the garage for years, don't toss those. Old paper (ephemera) can also be valuable.

Even if your kids don't want your "junk" be smart when it comes to disposing of your items. If you have computers, search for items. You may be surprised.

Some day, those kids will look back and wish they'd kept this or that Mom and Dad had.

[samnsara]

66. hubby sent that article to me.. going thru that now with my aged parents..

...trying to move them out of the same home they have been in for 45 yrs to be closer to one of us kids. 60 years of STUFF! However I did find my Beatles bobble head dolls!!!! the rest of the shit I don't want.

[politicat]

68. My great-grandmother didn't want my g'g-gm's stuff; gm didn't want her mother's stuff.

My smother doesn't want my gm's stuff. I don't want my mother's stuff. I don't think this is new; it's just happening frequently because we have lots of Boomers realizing it all at once.

The biggest difference? My great-great grandmother and great-grandmother lived in the same town, often in neighboring houses on the same farm. When g'g'gm died, g'gm held a barn sale a year later, kept a little, and shoved what didn't sell into one of the outbuildings. My g-grandfather did the same with his parents' stuff. My grandmother followed the practice when her parents died. They lived in a world with fewer material goods per capita anyway, when material goods took up a greater percentage of income, so storing stuff made sense, and storage then was almost no cost -- the cost to put up a wooden building on the property. Storage now is expensive.

Smother moved thousands of miles away when in her 20s (and took me). So the farmhouse full of several generations' accumulation is really full, and material goods have gotten cheaper and more plentiful, as well as more functional. (I'll take my digital scale over my grandmother's funky, non-standard measuring spoons any day.) And there's the ick factor -- great-grandmother's china had lead paint, for example. The cost of transport alone outweighs most of the value, and the costs of time to sort it is even more expensive. My Boomer generation smother also has established her own hoards -- um, collections. I left home at 16 and have absolutely established my own life without my natal family.

It's not that I'm a minimalist, or that smother is a minimalist -- she's not. It's that after establishing an independent life, taking on the material artifacts of another independent life comes with more decisions, when we're often already at a decision budget deficit, and costs far more in terms of lost wages -- working women can't just take the time off, and women are still expected to deal with the material relics of their elders -- and travel and storage.

[LanternWaste]

69. My first two apartments were furnished exclusively by hand-me-down furniture

My first two apartments were furnished exclusively by hand-me-down furniture I'd been given by parents and other family.

Thirty years later, I still keep the traditional roll-top desk as my main work-space; and the old, hand-crafted (in Maine) coffee-and-matching-end tables are (imo) without equal in regards to today's cookie-cutter manufacturing and design specs.

Ah, well... youth is wasted on the young.

[lunasun]

76. Young adults don't even want these kind of China , silver etc gifts new at weddings

Cash is appreciated but plenty won't give them what they want because it's bad etiquette, so the newlyweds still get China and crystal punch bowls they will never use ....
http://www.elle.com.au/wedding/honeymoon-registry-gift-trend-14147

[LeftInTX]

89. The relish trays, don't forget the relish trays

[irisblue]

83. I have been inspired by this & CTYankee

I tossed 2 bags of stuff. A yearbook from the 70s, and I will never talk with those people again. I will be looking into a dumpster rental.

[Duppers]

85. I'm having to throw out yearbooks now

Among tens of others. Kinda sad.

[Iwasthere]

88. I will happily take your parents treasures

I am not a hoarder, but I feel today's stuff is often junk, and certainly not well built. We all should be recycling instead of buying new. Far less would end up in the landfills and oceans. I'll be there with my van tomorrow.

[crazycatlady]

91. I don't disagree about recycling

If you like treasures, have you considered attending estate sales in your neck of the woods?

Also want anything from Maine? We have barns full to get rid of.

[LeftInTX]

90. When my parents died, we had an estate sale

We started taking some of my mom's clothes to Goodwill, but the sellers said, "Leave everything". So, we had the sale. They took the remaining stuff to charity.

At the sale, we found a buyer for my parents house! She wanted the house "as is". So, we didn't need to repaint or anything.

[Ilsa]

92. Photos, a few heirloom items, etc are all we will leave.

I don't expect my kids to want all my junk.