Is Ted Cruz human? An investigation
SATURDAY, SEP 2, 2017 09:00 AM EDT
The senator's rare display of humanity in the wake of Harvey shows how conservative ideology diminishes empathy
DAVID MASCIOTRA
The United States government should commission a study to determine whether or not Ted Cruz is human.
Many social, political and economic crises threaten to trouble the American future, but there is an imperative to learn if an alien species, sophisticated cyborg creation or previously undiscovered genetic mutation has infiltrated the government. Stopping such an invasion might finally result in the bipartisan unity that many Republicans and Democrats claim to desire in the divided era of President Trump.
To those skeptics who believe that an inquiry into Senator Ted Cruz’s mammalian authenticity is wasteful of taxpayer dollars, I can only identify the causes for concern.
During the 2016 Presidential primaries, Donald Trump insinuated that Ted Cruz’s father participated in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. He also implied that Cruz’s wife is ugly and threatened, presumably, to reveal details surrounding her struggle against depression. Cruz’s immediate reaction was to strongly denounce and attack Trump, calling him a “sniveling coward.”
At some point, the wiring inside Cruz’s steel cranium went faulty, or maybe it was only after Cruz’s initial statement that a paranormal force took residence inside his soul, but now Cruz embraces Trump to the point of defending his dangerous behavior and reckless rhetoric. Cruz’s comfort with the man who demeaned his wife and slandered his father demonstrates an odd and disturbing lack of human emotion and attachment.
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http://www.salon.com/2017/09/02/is-ted-cruz-human-an-investigation/
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