Spin class with Kellyanne Conway: How to BS your way out of anything

[DonViejo]

MONDAY, SEP 4, 2017 10:00 AM EDT

Late for work? Pulled over for speeding? Study Conway's techniques and learn how to wriggle out of any tight spot

JARRET BERENSTEIN

Excerpted with permission from "The Kellyanne Conway Technique" by Jarret Berenstein. Copyright 2017, Skyhorse Publishing. Available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and IndieBound.

You might not be able to tell that Kellyanne Conway has this incredible ability just by looking at her. At first glance you might think someone tried to Weird Science an alt-right website into the body of a perfectly ripe banana, but you’d be wrong. Kellyanne Conway is the first woman to run a winning presidential campaign in the history of this country, and it is all thanks to how deft of a spin artist she is. And the electoral college. And Russia.

According to legend, Kellyanne was trained in the delicate art of spin since birth, and I believe it. Why else would she have a weird fake name that’s a combination of two first names? That’s level-10 spin right there. How are you supposed to call someone on their bullshit if even their name is trying to pull a fast one on you? I honestly thought her name was Kelly (space) Anne Conway the first thirty times I Googled her. That’s true! If you don’t believe me, you can see for yourself by purchasing my internet search history.

(Which, by the way, is legal now. Purchasing someone’s internet search history is now totally legal, and it’s all thanks to our current president and Republican Congress. Be sure to write them a letter thanking them for that after you finish reading this book.)

Ms. Conway has been crushing the game for over two decades, but, thanks to the biased mainstream media, most of us only know about her recent work. She’s got a solid double LP of greatest hits, though, and they’re all chart toppers.

Kellyanne used to have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other to help her make decisions, but she’s so good at spin that after about a week she got them both to kill themselves.

Kellyanne once got pulled over for speeding, but instead of giving her a ticket she convinced the cop to frame himself for murder. He’s still in jail to this day.

Ever hear the expression “they could sell ice to an eskimo”? Well, so did Kellyanne. She’s been selling ice to eskimos for the past thirty-five years, and that’s the real reason why we have global warming.

more
http://www.salon.com/2017/09/04/spin-class-with-kellyanne-conway-how-to-bs-your-way-out-of-anything/

[SunSeeker]

1. Sadly, Kellyanne's blatant "Deny, then Distract" technique derails most of her interviewers.

Indeed, much less-skilled Republicans are able to do it.

[sharedvalues]

2. Here's a great video highlighting her methods

Link to tweet

?lang=en

[colsohlibgal]

3. She Is Shameless

"Alternate Facts" is right out of "1984".

[CatMor]

4. She is so predictable

she has become boring.