Eight Hundred Thousand People with Dreams to Be Deported by One with Delusions

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Eight hundred thousand people with dreams will be deported by one person with delusions, sources confirmed on Tuesday.

According to reports, U.S. residents who have obtained advanced degrees, served in the military, and saved people from Hurricane Harvey will be kicked out of the country by a man who believes that his microwave is spying on him.

“Under this new decision, if you have worked hard, gone to school, and contributed to the country, you face immediate deportation,” one legal expert said. “On the other hand, if you can prove that you have a glaring personality disorder and a flimsy grasp on reality, you can decide the fate of those other people.”

The delusional man defended his controversial decision late Tuesday afternoon, accompanied by several key voices in his head.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/eight-hundred-thousand-people-with-dreams-deported-by-one-with-delusions

[FakeNoose]

1. We must be rid of this vile person immediately

He's ruining this country for all of us.

[demigoddess]

2. and he doesn't realize or comprehend any of the fallout from this stupid idea.

And I am not talking about the poor people he wants to deport. He, and the republicans, have no idea how it will effect our country afterwards. He just thinks if the likes the idea, it will be "great, the greatest".

[Jamaal510]

3. I'm curious

how much taxpayer money this would cost (and what the so-called fiscal conservatives would have to say about that), and how the administration would plan to round up thousands of people who are scattered around the country.

[First Speaker]

4. There are 800,000 stories in the Naked Hypocrisy...

...and Dolt45 is responsible for every one of them...