Anthony Bourdain on Ted Cruz

[TexasBushwhacker]

Link to tweet

[Maynar]

1. Cheaper than

a RealDoll, I suppose.

[Major Nikon]

2. Not legal in Texas so just make sure to send it to the DC office

[ProudLib72]

6. If dildos are outlawed in TX

What is he still doing hanging around?

[Volaris]

3. OK thats fucking awesome lol

[House of Roberts]

4. As I typed in 'fleshlight'

I should have known before I finished typing the word, when all the suggestions disappeared, what that was going to turn out to be.

[cstanleytech]

5. Ted actually needs his own jaws of life to pull his head out of his ass more.

[BigmanPigman]

7. I hope Tony buys several...for Pence and a few others in the GOP.

[Motownman78]

8. A Fleshlight

is liking having sex with a silk bag full of puppy ears. It is like making love to a woman made out of slippery gold. If I had to take the Pepsi challenge between having sex with the prettiest girl on the planet and a Fleshlight, I would pick the Fleshlight hands down!!

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

9. Well that can't be unseen...

Although I am pretty sure any man who could "perform" with that thing could be equally as satisfied by a hole in a picnic table. I sure hope a "fleshlight" is disposable.