I am the type of person who ruminates for hours and
kicks myself in the ass repeatedly when I say or do something stupid. Then I lay a huge guilt trip on myself for days about it.
I have recently found a way to nip this in the bud and stop doing this immediately.
I just tell myself "Well, at least I'm not Donald Fucking Trump".
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....from a tired old man that has the same problem often. I learned years ago to write out my issues on paper, carefully describing the problem, listing who might be at fault (including me), and then what may or not can be done.
At least for me, there's magic in going through that process -- I think because it gets it all out in the sunshine. Plus, I can better see where I'm full of crap (or not) or just complicating something simple.
When I'm done and feeling better, I can just rip it up, shred it or burn it - or, put it in a journal. Hope that helps!
It makes a lot of sense.
The stuff that i tend to worry about is stupid...like for example, Did I say that right? Did that come out wrong? Did I really say that? Did they think I meant that instead of this?
It usually happens on low confidence days, and eventually I realize that I am over-estimating my own self-importance and nobody is thinking about what I said.
Some of us seem to be born worriers, but that's not necessarily a bad trait! Mine is a product of being raised by very loving, caring folks that were constantly helping (and worrying about) others, along with a streak of perfectionism.
If you live where you don't have to be concerned with people nosing through your stuff, keep a journal so you can look back at past notes. If you don't feel you have that degree of privacy, study your writings for a while until you feel some release and then destroy it.
One very important thing is to not be too formal with it and let it free-flow - don't worry about spelling or diction, LOL. However, I do think it's important to develop a format that's comfortable for you, and that you cover all aspects of the event.
At least for me, there's something magical about putting my thoughts and emotions on paper where I can see them, and knowing it's only for my consumption. Given a little time, answers - or at least some relief - seem to come magically, too!
Once, years ago while I was on a field service job out of state, I went to dinner with two guys with our company that are moderate right-wingers, born-again Christian, and both like to talk non-stop. Only after about a half-hour, I was a nervous wreck and couldn't enjoy my food. I moved away from them and sat down alone with my pocket journal. I wrote it all out and relief came very quickly. That probably saved me from losing my temper with them and possibly having to leave the job.
Hope that helps! 
