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ehrnst

(32,640 posts)
Fri Sep 29, 2017, 06:34 PM Sep 2017

Full disclosure: I am Jared Kushner. I have no idea what Im doing. (satire)

Oh my God, I’ve been filling the form out with the wrong end of the pencil, haven’t I? Oops.

They tell me that this woman is my wife and that I am a senior adviser to the president. Senior adviser — wow! Good for me.

I would tattoo personal information on my hands for ease and convenience, but tattoos are lower-class and somehow I know that whatever else I may turn out to be, I am not that. I feel as though I own something made of marble, maybe a building. Or a boat, the kind with costly silent consonants in it. I bet I went to Harvard, whatever that is.

Am I male or female? Well, it’s a 50/50 shot here, at least according to this form’s restrictive binary. Boy, I hope I’m male, just based on, like, society. I’ll pick one at random.

Have I been here before? Should I be talking to you? Who am I? Is this all a nightmare? Or, wait, am I a goldfish? Is there anything else I am failing to disclose? Maybe. Who can say? I certainly can’t.

I bet I know a lot about the Middle East, though. Definitely put me in charge of that.


https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2017/09/29/full-disclosure-i-am-jared-kushner-i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing/?utm_term=.7114f072c690
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