The Academy Of Motion Pictures Called Me And Told Me They Were Giving Me An Academy Award.....

[global1]

but I told them I was refusing it.

I told them they should give it to Trump who is trying to act as a president. (sarcasm)

[hlthe2b]

1. I was notified I was receiving the Nobel Prize for Medicine...

I told them I was refusing it but then I remembered...









It comes with a Milliion$$$$! Are you f'ing kidding me? Of course I'll take it.

[Ilsa]

2. The Heisman Committee called and said

I would probably be named the Heisman Award recipient for 2017, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!

[Ilsa]

3. Sports Illustrated called and said I would probably be the cover

For the swimsuit issue, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!

[kchamberlin25]

4. They wanted to make me captain of the first starship enterprise NX-01

I told them to give it to Jonathan Archer instead.

[Irish_Dem]

5. I wonder if Trumpwad knows he is a laughing stock when he makes such ridiculous posts?

Or is he kept in the dark.

[Croney]

6. The Vatican just told me I'm probably headed for sainthood.

I said as an atheist I'd have to politely decline, but I think they're going ahead with my nomination.

[Bob Loblaw]

7. Chuck Norris called

to say I could kick his ass but I declined.

[rock]

8. Does everyone posting here know that trump does not get sarcasm?

Although the rest of us sure get a kick out of it! to all posters.