Help. TrumpHumper Invasion Alert.

[sagesnow]

With Christmas fast approaching, I just found out who is on the guest list for Christmas:

1. Sister from CA, who says she is an Independent voter, but will not tell me who she voted for.

2. Sister's Husband who is long time unemployed, has COPD and smokes non-stop, and is a rabid TrumpHumper. He survives on disablity and my sister's income, but wants taxes cut and does not care if it destroys Social Security or Medicare.

3. My manic depressive, TrumpHumper brother who has had two closed head injuries and who resonates perfectly with Donald Trump's mind. He talks non-stop, has no impulse control and is unable to perceive that he is driving other people crazy. He continues to demand Hillary's impeachment(sic) and is certain Obama was Kenyan. Even the other TrumpHumpers in the family get tired of his continuous Faux news frenzy.

4. Step Father who tells my Mother he voted for Democrats but was overheard telling his ex-wife, by my sister, that he voted for Rump.

5. Thirty something, Wealthy niece and her husband who made millions buying and selling Chinese belts and undercutting American manufacturers here. He is extremely happy that the TrumpHumper Tax bill passed. He is also a Conservative Christian who's being sued by his brother for hostile takeover of the company the brother started. Niece goes along with him- the money must be worth it.

6. My 80 year old Mother who is Democratic but ever willing to have all these people over at the same time and expects no religious or political topics to be raised. She believes she can single-handedly command Peace on Earth.

7. My other Democratic Sister with 3 kids and their husbands and 7 children.

8. Me the Resister with low tolerance threshold for TrumpHumper Propaganda. I'm the happily divorced, crazy Aunt in the family. I check in with my elderly folks daily and help them shop and take care of their pets.

With these seventeen at the table I am wondering how do I keep my mouth shut? Duct tape??

I know this seems like an amusing script for a low budget TV show or Reality show but it is not pleasant to actually be here. I was able to go visit a supportive Democratic friend for Thanksgiving, but do not know how to disappear for Christmas? Any ideas?

[Lulu KC]

1. Come down with something Christmas morning

Then hang out with a friend, watch old movies, visit elderly folks' pets while they're gone.

Most important: stay sane!

[sagesnow]

23. Calling in sick for Family Christmas

seems to be the number one reply. And, yes, if all else fails I will resort to this. Now going to check out the number 2 reply: Bug out! Checking out budget cruises and local spas. Maybe the Elms in Missouri.
A votra sante.

[SamKnause]

2. Don't go, simple.

After Christmas celebrate with your mother your Democratic sister 3 kids and their husbands and 7 children.

[tazkcmo]

18. Yup.

The poster is an adult and is free to do as she pleases. It really is that simple.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. You could call in sick.

You have a terrible cold and don't want to give it to the kids or your elderly mother. I'd rather roll naked in nettles than go to that party.

[sagesnow]

28. Rolling naked in nettles.

Another perfect description of the upcoming Christmas Chaos.

[Bettie]

4. Tell them you're sick and can't make it

or just make a point of hanging with the sane, decent people there.

[redwitch]

5. Oh dear.

Good luck with that. I don’t know what else to say, sounds awful.

[rgbecker]

6. Book a Caribbean Cruise instead?

Otherwise coach the Sister's family of 14 Democrats. Some must have something to say or they could all bring guns.

[sagesnow]

10. Yes, you are right!

A Cruise is just the solution. Will have to look for a budget cruise. Also looking at buying an RV and visiting friendlies in Colorado and California. I keep telling myself that this too must pass.

[KatyMan]

15. Since you list in your profile you are in Iowa

A Caribbean cruise in December would probably be very welcome!

[sagesnow]

16. Yes and

a good dose of vitamin D would be great for the body and soul.

[sagesnow]

29. Gun collector in the family has about 17 guns available.

Perhaps a duel will be in order.

[oasis]

7. MAGgots own every bit of the sorrow the GOP heaps on them.

Idiots. x 60 million.

[dalton99a]

8. Call your deplorables and speak like you're half dead

Tell them you have a horrible nasty bug - it's a disaster, believe me - Cough loudly.

[Drahthaardogs]

9. You can come over. We hand homemade ravioli

And we all hate Trump. Bring wine.

[sagesnow]

14. Thanks for the invite but..

but I'm in the middle of Red County Iowa, aka Nowhere. Working on getting an RV so I will be able to bug out at a moments notice. Would be nice to have a DU MeetUp here in the midwest sometime, tho.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

30. Come to Minnesota! We're not far away,

and the Twin Cities, at least, are deep, deep blue.

[brush]

11. I feel for you. Just don't go, some disowning is in order.

Last edited Sat Dec 2, 2017, 01:44 PM - Edit history (1)

[sagesnow]

20. Disowning

Thanks for the perfect description of how I am feeling now. I will have to call in sick if I can't arrange a cruise or other "bug out" option. Thanks.

[AJT]

12. Don't go.

[Lars39]

13. Go to support your momma, avoid the horrible rest if possible.

[librechik]

17. There's plenty of people there already. I recommend Pink Eye, it is highly contagious

don't expose those a-holes to your presence--you are way outnumbered.

[sagesnow]

22. Pink Eye-

Superb suggestion. It seems more like suppurating red eye to be around some of my relatives.

[bluestarone]

19. just tell them you'll bring all

the Obama election celebration videos you recorded when he was elected 9 years ago!! When he says betting on America. Hope and Change! We don't quit. Well you get my drift right? GOOD LUCK!!!!!

[alarimer]

21. I would advocate limiting your exposure.

Or just not keeping your mouth shut. I think folks like this are willing to voice their opinions because they rarely get pushback in the name of "keeping the peace." I think the time for keeping the peace is over all over this country.

[groundloop]

24. I had similar concerns at Thanksgiving and NOBODY brought up politics

I just KNEW that the hard core repub in attendance was going to go off on Hillary or Obama, but it never happened. He was too busy complaining about football games, and I was more than happy to let him.

Just start complaining that Alabama (or another school of your choosing) should be in the national championship picture and it's a travesty they're not. That ought to keep things stirred up and away from politics for a while anyway.

[MikeydaDog]

25. It is not pleasant. It isn't fun. I do not have to do that, but I did in the past.

We had a rule, no politics. It held and made it endurable.

[ismnotwasm]

26. Say you have shingles

Shingles are actually an airborne contagion and you really should be avoiding people during the active phase

[MFM008]

27. Tell everyone

If any politics come up you will leave the room looking like Jonestown after the koolaid....
Remember you are the crazy Aunt.
You can do this.

[flibbitygiblets]

32. +1 that's what I'm doing

They've been warned. ONE mention of politics and...

I will not argue. I will not sit quietly and suffer their bullshit. I will take my plate and leave.

Usually only takes one time to get the point across.

[sagesnow]

35. Oh no...

now you've put the evil idea to spike the koolaid in my head. I'm thinking a Christmas vacation elsewhere would be safer for all concerned.

[Vinca]

31. If I were you I'd take advantage of having so many people around to look in on the elderly parents

and feed the pets. Go to Hawaii! Lay on the beach!! Give yourself a present!!!

[sagesnow]

43. Definitely. Delegation is the key.

Time for the younger set to take over the Christmas cooking and cleaning load whilst I bug out. Some sun seeking is in order.

[C_U_L8R]

33. Hope they like paying more taxes

and thanks a bunch for the trillions in debt.

[Blue_true]

34. Tell them that you have intensive work related things to do the two weeks before Xmas.

Then call in sick, saying that the hard work caused your system to weaken. Apologize to your Mom, she seems to be a sane one.

[sagesnow]

39. You're right Mom has

high tolerance for Trumphumpers and she always believes the best of others. Still I can't quite justify wasting a whole day with them and then having to help clean up after the whole mess. Bugging out seems to be my best option.

[fierywoman]

36. Start a microbiome (gut) cleanse shortly before Xmas and tell them you can't eat any of that food

and will be running to the bathroom every half hour.

[Persondem]

37. Get a progressive minded t-shirt to wear

something like ...

https://res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--XkruZjdv--/t_Preview/b_rgb:191919,c_limit,f_auto,h_313,q_90,w_313/v1492171820/production/designs/1450526_1

(Sorry, couldn't get the image to copy/paste)

It's not overtly political, positive and there's no name calling.

[sagesnow]

40. Love it!

I want one of those but I still don't think I can bring myself to attend the Party. Will have to get Mom to cater the event since her cooking days are over.

[pscot]

38. Think of it as free entertainment

You'll have a wonderful time. Merry Xmas.

[dembotoz]

41. Decision depends upon how badly do u want an invite next year. But protect ur mom

I am and have always been the flaming left.
That and I am quite antisocial so there r things I don't get invited to but that is fine with me.
I generally will not start, but if poked with a stick....

[NBachers]

42. Tell 'em you're volunteering at the local Christmas charity dinner, and won't be attending.

1. You'll be making a heartfelt contribution with a great bunch of people who's values you'll share.

2. You'll avoid the Family Shitheads

3. Your "librul do-gooder" behavior will be like holding a cross in front of vampires.

If you want to contribute and lighten your mom's load, you can drop off something that morning, before the deplorables arrive.

[sunonmars]

67. and tell them you'll see them there next year when Trumps tax bill kicks in......

[0rganism]

44. **possible solution!** worked for a friend who had serious family "discussion" issues

back when we were in college, my friend's family went full-on wacky, joined a crazy religious cult and whenever he went home they'd bother him incessantly about various shit, some cult-related and some just trivial BS. very annoying. one day when we were hanging out in SF Chinatown, we saw this thing featured in a store:

it was kind of a new gadget at the time, yes we're getting old. anyway, it had a couple settings, one of which was to repeat about 3-4 seconds of anything it "heard" a person say, using its crappy little cheap-ass speaker. so my friend got one, and carried it around with him when he was home.

PROBLEM 100% FUCKING SOLVED. after a day or so, his family simply shut up when he'd walk into the room with "that bird". they hated it, but it kept my friend sane during family visits. worked like magic.

this was many years ago, but these devices are still on the market and it looks like you can get one for around $20. i would suggest going as cheap as possible, as the overall purpose is not to entertain but to annoy. might work for you.

[sagesnow]

45. Parrot Projection Protection

The most original idea yet! Will probably not get close enough to a TrumpHumper to be able to pick up their propaganda. However, it could possibly be placed in the Christmas Centerpiece with a microphone and speakers imbedded in it.

[0rganism]

47. Parrot Distraction Rejection

i saw the same model on Amazon just now as
"Talking Parrot Repeats What You Say Cute Toys Bird Boxed" (toys&games/kids' electronics)
for $13

although there are other more attractive (and expensive) fake parrots you could apply to a Christmas display without raising too many eyebrows.

if you try it, i hope it helps to bring you peace in this holiday season.

[Martin Eden]

46. Keep standing up for the wishes of your 80 year old mother

Reiterate her wishes every time the talk turns to politics. Be forceful about it and don't take any bait to get drawn into a political conversation.

Sound like a broken record if you have to. Tell them they are showing great disrespect for your mother.

If this gathering is in her home or yours, you stand on very firm ground.

[Kirk Lover]

48. I tell you my handy little vape pen just saved my life at Thanksgiving. They started talking

politics and I said to myself oh fuck you and went into the Den and vaped vaped vaped and was calm. Now the chief trumper my bro in law HATES the regular vape pen...let alone the special one so it was even more satisfying doing it right in his chair and in his damn house.

[Tipperary]

49. I simply cannot understand why people have to have politics involved in family dinners.

You will not change their minds if you begin to speak your piece, nor will they change yours. So what is the point in ruining a dinner that is obviously important to your mother?

[sagesnow]

50. Yes, this is why

I will do the polite thing and bow out.

[Tipperary]

51. Just remember your mother will not be around forever. If I had my mum back, I would go to any dinner

With anyone she wanted. In a heartbeat.

[RKP5637]

52. Sounds best to me! n/t

[Luciferous]

53. I would stay home- tell them you have the flu.

[Laffy Kat]

54. There are some great deals on last-minute cruises.

That's what I would do.

[Sienna86]

55. I recommend conversation cards at the table

One could be, "What is your favorite childhood memory.". Another could be, "What is your favorite holiday food and why?".

Make them all non-political and enforce your Mom's request for that topic to be ignored.

[sagesnow]

56. In Summaary:

Thanks for all the Good Suggestions about surviving Christmas
with my Republicon relatives.

Here are the great suggestions I got:

Go and lay down the law of no political conversations: 4
Go and support Mom: 3
Go with duct taped mouth: 1
Go with Pro Democratic shirts, videos, information:2
Go and hide a recording and speaking Parrot in the Christmas Centerpiece: 1
Go and start an argument about the best Football team:1
Go and spike the punch: 1
Go and organize a family duel: 1


Don't go, call in sick: 13
Don't go, get invited to visit a sympathetic DU'er: 2
Don't go, volunteer: 1
Don't go book a cruise, spa or other sunny vacation: 3
Don't go, roll naked in nettles for a similar experience:1

On the Fence: 3

(Please don't check my math, because I didn't.)

[moriah]

63. I like a combo of the top two.

Say that you'd like for everyone to all give your mother a gift for Christmas:

To not discuss politics or other depressing topics, and enjoy being together as a family, because that's what really matters.

[nolabear]

57. Do you see them a lot? Seems like theres been a lot of disclosure.

I grew up among Southern conservatives and they have extremely different and incomprehensible outlooks but I’m not going to change that by focusing on the worst qualities of people that I’m choosing to be with or that, in spite of all, I care about.

How do you know your wealthy neice’s Husband loves the tax bill? Did you ask within the last couple of days?

If you’re going to be forced into a political conversation that separates you from those you live then gently ask for peace and love and guarantee you’ll be happy to argue after the season of caring. And mean it. If you are the one that starts the fights, don’t. Find a board game. Talk about great food and holiday music. If you want the excuse to not go, don’t. But cop to it being you.

[sagesnow]

58. Yes, it's me...

I'm not going. Spent a lovely Thanksgiving with all Democratic friends and want to do that again at Christmas. I'll go where Peace leads.

[TexasTowelie]

59. Sit at the kid's table during dinner.

There will probably be one or two other adults there that might need some help with serving the food.

[Ilsa]

60. Take a vacation and don't give them a second thought.

Why subject yourself to their gloating or likely harassment? Wait until until you cann have a "I told you so," moment after DOTUS is removed.

[Tavarious Jackson]

61. I had 4 people in my family vote Trump...

Cousins not immediate and 1 very good EX friend of 25 years. I cut them all out of my life completely. I asked all of them to respect my decision. If that means excluding myself from family functions.. so be it. I had to use call blocking and FB blocking on all. I feel good about it and actually feel it's my duty as an American to reject trump at all cost

[MrScorpio]

62. Whip out a shotgun and lay down the law

“No politics, or else.”

[KelleyKramer]

64. Ok wait, your brother-in-law is on disability but doesnt care if Social Security is destroyed?

Isn't long term disability tied to Social Security?

So he is a greedy selfish idiot. That sounds pretty much par for the course for many Repubs I have met

You should sit right accross from him at the dinner table. Look him right in the eye and tell him.. "you really should introduce your foot to the gun"

You'll probably get a confused 'what?'

And follow with "you need to introduce your foot to the gun that you'll shoot it with"

He probably still won't get it. And at that point you can gently tap him on the hand, give him a big smile and say.. "that's ok sweetie, your foot is going to meet that gun soon enough, bless your heart"

[sunonmars]

65. Send them a charity care pack and label it, "you are going to need this soon after your vote"

[sunonmars]

66. You could do the "I won a holiday" and go book somewhere far away, who's to know.....

[Amishman]

68. Don't bring it up and politely ask people not to discuss politics if someone starts

This is my rule when dealing with my republican in-laws. I think I've only had to say something once, it was something like 'let's not talk about politics; this is a family occasion and being a family should come first'. Was awkward for a few minutes but fine after that.