Federal judge dismisses Nebraskan's suit against all homosexuals

[Archae]

Source: Omaha.com

A federal judge will not allow a Nebraska woman to be a legal spokeswoman for God and his son, Jesus Christ.

Judge John Gerrard dismissed a lawsuit Wednesday filed against all homosexuals.

Sylvia Driskell, 66, of Auburn, Nebraska, had asked the court last week to decide whether homosexuality is a sin.

In a strongly worded opinion, the judge said it is not up to the court to decide whether homosexuality is sinful.

Read more: http://www.omaha.com/news/nebraska/federal-judge-dismisses-nebraskan-s-suit-against-all-homosexuals/article_ac48f042-f43e-11e4-8161-63df2bd2525d.html

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That was quick.

[hamsterjill]

1. That really WAS quick!

Perhaps Judge Gerrard is not one to put up with bullshit. Bravo, Judge!

[KamaAina]

2. Rats. I wanted to see them try to serve process on all the defendants.

And then bill her for court costs after she lost.

[7962]

10. HAAAAAAA!

[Elmer S. E. Dump]

3. Great quote!

"The United States Federal Courts were created to resolve actual cases and controversies arising under the Constitution and the laws of the United States," Judge Gerrard said. "A federal court is not a forum for debate or discourse on theological matters."

[Volaris]

16. tell that to Hobby Lobby...

[Elmer S. E. Dump]

18. No Hobby Lobby in my area. And if there was, I wouldn't set foot in the place.

[d_legendary1]

34. More like tell that to Scalia

and the four right wingers that agree with him.

[Gothmog]

4. That was fairly fast

[Fritz Walter]

20. Yeah, the batshit wasn't even dry yet!

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

5. In ALL seriousness, this was a way for this particular insane person to vent.

Anybody who believes in an invisible man in the sky, has mental issues, I know, I used to have them. Wait, I still do have mental issues, just not that one, so nothing special about me.

But worse is someone who projects onto this see thru person the hate that the teaparty has for all gays, all brown people, etal

With the decision coming this summer on gay marriage (assuming it is the correct one) and the decision that will destroy Obamacare, the perfect storm will exist.

What we need are non violent avenues for the tens of millions of sick, mentally ill people to go down, namely TeaParTY

You can believe in god and not be mentally ill or dangerous, and may liberal xtians fall into that category, but if you are all that AND a rightwinger, well that is very bad news

[7962]

11. How nice of you to take this chance to insult anyone who believes in God

Like you KNOW for a FACT that there is no God? You dont.

[mindwalker_i]

22. Personally, I don't know for certain that

there isn't a giant, roving ball of sentient rubber bands blowing up planets deathstar-style out there. However, it seems unlikely.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. next time i go on about my belief in unicorns and people laugh at me. i'll use your line. nt

[lisby]

24. Seriously?

Exactly how did you come to this *absolute knowledge* that there is not one, or more, gods? The truth is that you cannot definitively prove your position anymore than an ardent believer can. Even so, you lump all of those who believe passionately or even think a God or gods is possible, into one lunatic straight jacket--and you do so smugly and with no attempt at tolerance.

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

25. Went out of may to NOT lump all in, that you choose to ignore that is not my problem

I have respect and love for some religious people, all of them are very liberal

[AlbertCat]

32. you lump all of those who believe passionately or even think a God or gods is possible,

into one lunatic straight jacket"

It sounds delusional to me.... believing in Stone Age myths with nothing at all to suggest any of it is true. There are many suggestions, tho' not proofs, that such supernatural malarkey is, if not absent, superfluous.

It's not an even even debate equal on both sides, y'know.


Or maybe you don't. Don't bring up the "prove your negative" crap either. It is up to YOU to prove your extraordinary tale.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

33. i dont think religious people have mental issues, i do think fundamentalists do. nt

[SwankyXomb]

35. Now now

See what kind of shitstorm you stir up when you attack people's deeply held religious delusions?

[NoJusticeNoPeace]

36. LOL...and me, of all people. Born again, catholic school etc

[malthaussen]

6. Can't see how she has standing, anyway.

The judge could have dismissed for so many reasons.

-- Mal

[LiberalElite]

38. BUT BUT she's an Ambassador for God & Jesus!!!!!!

She must've figured it was a sure thing, standing in for those two.

[progressoid]

7. She's being oppressed!!

[Liberalagogo]

9. Bloody Peasant.

[Moostache]

21. An all-timer classic!

I love so much of the classic Python skits...but these are favorites for sure:

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

"You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!"

[img][/img]

[William Seger]

48. Brilliant

As I've said before, the genius of Monty Python skits was that they were simultaneously absurd and stereotypical.

[Liberalagogo]

8. Too bad...

I was gearing up for my lawsuit against all Rethuglicans in the name of Santa Claus.

[7962]

12. Good for that judge. Frivolous.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. Pro se litigants are invariably unbalanced.

I was a court reporter for 20 years and I dealt with people who represent themselves in court (pro se litigants) very carefully.
They were horrible. They wouldn't post appeal bonds, wouldn't pay me for transcripts and played all sorts of games to cheat me out of my money.

I stopped one guy's appeal because he wouldn't post an appeal bond to pay for my transcript, so he retaliated by filing a grievance against me with the Court Reporters Board in Austin alleging incompetence and alleging that I had practiced law, when I had hired a lawyer to write a motion to raise the appeal bond on my behalf. I had to hire a lawyer and go to Austin (180 miles from Houston) for a Saturday morning hearing.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. I was once an appellate court clerk,

and yes, pro se litigants are almost invariably barking mad and create horrendous problems for courts and their staff. One of the biggest problems is that no matter what the judge tells them they simply will not go away - and of course, they never pay their fees or their justly-deserved fines.

[LiberalElite]

37. I work in a law firm -

one of the associates is dealing with a pro se plaintiff who was a lawyer in his native country (I think Uganda). Plaintiff lost his case a full five years ago and is still litigating it. It's been in the state appellate court a couple of times where he of course lost each appeal and now he's back filing a motion in a state court. Every time he files a motion he adds a few more cites to the C.P.L.R. (Civil Practice Law and Rules) He will not let it go.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

44. Kiddies, can you say "frivolous and vexatious litigation"?

[Jim Lane]

46. There are some exceptions, and some courts are good about helping them.

I'm almost always in state court now, but back when I did federal work, the federal court in Manhattan had a Pro Se Office. Their thankless job was to read all the pro se stuff that came in and look for the rare needle of rationality in the haystack of lunacy. They would single out a few cases that looked potentially meritorious. Then the court would approach private-practice lawyers (especially big firms with lots of cases pending in that district) and "recommend" that they take on a few of these cases pro bono. I myself worked on one of these cases and we won it, getting U.S. citizenship for an immigrant who'd been completely shafted by the Immigration and Naturalization Service.

If the District of Nebraska has such a program, I gather that this woman's complaint didn't make the cut.

[iandhr]

14. I would have loved to see it go forward...

… purely for the entertainment value.

[central scrutinizer]

15. Did her a favor

Imagine she is standing before the pearly gates and St. Peter says, "how dare you usurp the authority of God by attempting to pass judgement. God is one jealous mofo and you are condemned to hell for your overweening hubris."

[Bossy Monkey]

17. She'll take it to Supreme Crazy Court! n/t

[catbyte]

19. These activist judges...

It royally pisses me off when cretins like this woman cherry pick the Bible to justify their own prejudices. Hell, eating shellfish & pork are also punishable by death according to that same Leviticus, so why not rant about THAT? Oh, yeah, it's Rib Day at the Sizzler in Bumfuck...silly me.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

23. Had I been the judge, my opinion would have said:

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! ... Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time."

[catbyte]

27. ...

[Spitfire of ATJ]

29. Her answer would be, "Is there anyone else I can talk to?"

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. Here's the full opinion - short but sweet.

http://abovethelaw.com/2015/05/surprisingly-lawsuit-against-all-homosexuals-summarily-dismissed/2/

And for another good chuckle, have a look at Mayo v. Satan, cited in the Driskell opinion. http://kevinunderhill.typepad.com/Documents/Mayo_v_Satan.pdf

My all-time favorite, though, is Searight v. New Jersey, 412 F. Supp. 413 (D. N.J. 1976): http://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=14840990769950902726&q=412+f+supp+413&hl=en&as_sdt=2006 which was the subject of great hilarity when I was in law school. In that case the plaintiff claimed the State of New Jersey "unlawfully injected him in the left eye with a radium electric beam. As a result, he claims that someone now talks to him on the inside of his brain." The court dismissed the case, but offered some helpful suggestions:

The allegations, of course, are of facts which, if they exist, are not yet known to man. Just as Mr. Houdini has so far failed to establish communication from the spirit world (See E. L. Doctorow, "Ragtime", pp. 166-169, Random House, 1974), so the decades of scientific experiments and statistical analysis have failed to establish the existence of "extrasensory perception" (ESP). But, taking the facts as pleaded, and assuming them to be true, they show a case of presumably unlicensed radio communication, a matter which comes within the sole jurisdiction of the Federal Communications Commission, 47 U.S.C. § 151, et seq. And even aside from that, Searight could have blocked the broadcast to the antenna in his brain simply by grounding it. See, for example, Ghirardi, "Modern Radio Servicing", First Edition, p. 572, ff. (Radio & Technical Publishing Co., New York, 1935). Just as delivery trucks for oil and gasoline are "grounded" against the accumulation of charges of static electricity, so on the same principle Searight might have pinned to the back of a trouser leg a short chain of paper clips so that the end would touch the ground and prevent anyone from talking to him inside his brain.

[LiberalElite]

39. !!!!!

[AlbertCat]

30. Good

Now charge her for wasting the court's time.

[allan01]

40. thanks to the judge :)

made my head spin. im dizzy now .

[SoapBox]

41. Darn! I wanted to see God and Jesus, called to take the oath and testify.

Opps....that may have disproven a lot of stuff!

[Archae]

42. Well, John Denver did!

Remember, in "Oh God!"

[markpkessinger]

43. Well, thank God for that . . .

. . . I mean, I was just about to put my attorney's retainer check in the mail!

[Gothmog]

45. The judge was not amused by the plaintiff

This was faster than I anticipated

[Vinca]

47. Well, that's a shame. I was so looking forward to God testifying.

[William Seger]

49. And this is really the attitude of the entire "religious right"

... carried to only a slightly greater extreme. Trying to sue as a surrogate for God under existing laws is only slightly beyond trying to pass new laws with the same presumption.