New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom call.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

Source: Vice

The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard.

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video.

Two people who were on the call told VICE separately that the call was an election simulation featuring many of the New Yorker's biggest stars: Jane Mayer was playing establishment Republicans; Evan Osnos was Joe Biden, Jelani Cobb was establishment Democrats, Masha Gessen played Donald Trump, Andrew Marantz was the far right, Sue Halpern was left wing democrats, Dexter Filkins was the military, and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts. There were also a handful of other producers on the call from the New Yorker and WNYC. ,” he added.

Read more: https://www.vice.com/en/article/epdgm4/new-yorker-suspends-jeffrey-toobin-for-zoom-dick-incident

---

BARF.

[shelshaw]

1. He accurately portrayed the courts

[flibbitygiblets]

22. Thread winner 👆

I haven't even read past this one, but I'm calling it. (Welcome to DU!)

[SunSeeker]

48. ...

[calimary]

83. Welcome to DU, shelshaw!

Indeed! This is the kind of thread that one can really get a grip on.

[uppityperson]

4. Does it matter?

[uppityperson]

17. As far as I can tell, neither. You want to know which party the "sickos" belong to.

[patricia92243]

20. He is a Democrat.

[spooky3]

23. But he was one of the Buttery Males critics when Hillary Clinton was running.

https://www.politico.com/news/2019/10/21/jeffrey-toobin-clinton-emails-053484

[Hekate]

95. Too much talking about Buttery Males might lead a guy astray. Slippery slope & all.

[smb]

106. Buttery? Vaseline Or KY Jelly Works Better For That... Or So I've Heard! nt

[FakeNoose]

114. ...

[Earthshine2]

24. He's been a frequent guest on CNN. He's an astute lawyer who is vehemently anti-Trump.

Our side takes a loss.

[Lulu KC]

116. Yes

While my inner seventh grader is laughing hysterically, I sure wish he had different employers.

[Earthshine2]

118. It's a loss for our side. Much like Weiner. I liked him too, until ... nt

[Lulu KC]

125. Weiner had the double whammy

with his name. He must have suffered so immensely between about 5th and 10th grade.

[RockRaven]

7. Sort of neither. Supposedly a legal/constitutional expert/analyst. Anti-Trump by default because of

Trump's overt illegality and contempt for the Constitution and rules and norms and all that.

[certainot]

33. there's a 90% chance he was using the right hand and according to sex on the wrong brain theory

that that increases his need for certainty (certainty deficit disorder) and that increases his tendency to be redder (relative to the overall effect of moving the center to the right)

[RockRaven]

3. Gee, thanks Vice for being more specific than prior reports which used the euphemism "exposed"

[Leghorn21]

5. Yeah, dayam, I thought he was simply nekkid

Oy

[patricia92243]

21. I thought he was needing to go to the bathroom.

[apcalc]

6. What a dope! I thought this was from " The Onion".

[live love laugh]

127. Me too. WOW

[cilla4progress]

8. Umm...

that call was arousing???

[smb]

107. Don't Fetish-Shame -- If Election Simulations Are His Thing, That's His Business

He does need to learn how to block his webcam and keep it to himself, however.

[klook]

129. "Masha Gessen as Trump...Yum!" (nt)

[Beakybird]

9. At this point, he should just own up to it and make a living doing funny commercials.

Poor foolish man.

[Ponietz]

34. Dancing with The Stars already contacted him

[TheCowsCameHome]

10. He must've had an election.

[ET Awful]

40. Had to read twice at first I thought it said they were having an election stimulation :) n/t

[lagomorph777]

51. Erections have consequences.

[Beakybird]

53. Hee hee hee!!!!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

96. Thread winner!

[trusty elf]

89. electile dysfunction

[PJMcK]

11. Wow!

Here's a guy who really jumped off the cliff while his entire world watched!

He has self-imolated in a spectacular fashion!

Hey, Jeffrey!

Why were you fapping when you were on a conference?

I mean, WHAT. THE. FUCK?

[PoliticAverse]

12. ...

[Chemisse]

29. Perfect - LOL!! n/t

[Progressive Jones]

77. LMAO !!!

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

97. Hahahahaha!

[Evolve Dammit]

110. Classic!

[Lulu KC]

117. Thank you! n/t

[honest.abe]

122. HA!!!!!! You nailed it!

[soothsayer]

13. Jeff did write an excellent book about hanging chads.

Link to tweet

?s=21


Jennifer Taub
@jentaub
Jeff did write an excellent book about hanging chads.

OK, I’ll show myself out.

[calimary]

39. ROFL!!!!!

[Hoyt]

15. Another casualty of CV19's impact on society. Doubt we'll be seeing him

anytime soon. Although, didn’t Anthony Weiner get a couple of chances?

[Ms. Toad]

130. This is his third strike. n/t

[dweller]

16. Lordy ... there are taped backups ?

I hope Joe and Hunter are

✌🏻

[TheDemsshouldhireme]

18. I dont think

there's any coming back from that.

[Deuxcents]

19. WTF

WTF is wrong with some men..red or blue..with their fascination with their private parts? And yet..they wanna control our reproductive issues? Something is very wrong. Just let me say.. this is not alright. I’m totally pissed.

[Doodley]

30. Do you have any evidence that Jeffrey Toobin wants to control women's reproductive issues? For what

reason have you to be pissed?

[MicaelS]

80. You simply cannot understand because you do not have said parts.

Scratching one’s self is very pleasurable. Not as good as an orgasm, but scratching any itch feels good.

In case you do not know, the construction of an adult male’s internal organs in the area means a bowel movement is a very pleasurable experience.

Be VERY glad human males are not constructed like males dogs, because instead of scratching, we would be licking ourselves.

[Doodley]

90. I'm a guy and I'm obviously missing out. Never derived pleasure from any scratching, never had to

scratch there, and never found pooping pleasurable either.

[AllTooEasy]

86. Shiiiiit, I'm masturbating right now...

...and I’m adamantly pro-choice, so your point is moot!

[flibbitygiblets]

25. And just like that, we have a new meaning to the word "multi-tasking"!

From now on, when someone doesn't respond to a question on a conference call, I'll wonder whether they're pulling a Toobin.

[dchill]

26. Simple misunderstanding. He thought it was an erection simulation.

I'm here all week.

[Doodley]

28. What's the big deal? It was obviously a mistake.

[flibbitygiblets]

72. Can you prove it was a mistake? What's to stop others from "oops, accidentally" doing this?

if people can use the "I forgot the webcam was on" excuse to escape repercussions, what's to stop actual pervs from preying on their coworkers?

I'm old enough to have been around when women had to escalate issues to stop co-workers from, say, having pornographic materials on their computer screens (or in their desk drawers where they could be easily found by someone looking for a pencil or work file).

Sure do whatever in one's own home, but put a post-it on the webcam first, or prepare to suffer some consequences is all I'm saying.

[MyMission]

82. Zooming can be dangerous

I almost peed publicly during a zoom call. Muted audio and video, I was listening as I carried my phone to the bathroom, and opened the video with a slip of the thumb. Phone was pointed up, realized and closed the video. I was mortified at what almost happened.

It was a mistake and I learned from it. I'm now very careful about making sure I've muted video and audio, and set the phone down so I don't accidentally switch it on when I don't want to be seen. Zooming can be dangerous, for people accidentally displaying body parts or private activities, but you're right, it can also be a vehicle for perverts and sexual harassment.

[Ms. Toad]

131. Do you pee during face-to-face meetings?

Manage your bathroom breaks the same way you manage them face to face.

Sheesh.

[MyMission]

134. Lol Rarely, and always with my video off

I was attending, listening to a meeting with my phone, didn't want to miss out on what was being said, so I took it with me. If I were in person or using a computer I'd have to leave the room, excuse myself, and miss part of the meeting. That's a benefit of zoom on my phone, I can take it with me. I don't always. I do walk away, but sometimes I do take it with me to the fridge, or bathroom, or taking the dog out. Depends on the zoom meeting, class, etc

In general, I can usually sit still until zoom thing is done, but sometimes I can't.

And from what I recall of in person face to face meetings, I would try to use the restroom before, and or after, not during if I could help it. Times are different. I'm older, and zoom exists.

[Doodley]

87. Do you really think Toobin wanted this humiliation, and losing his lucrative gigs? That would be

the likely consequence of what he did if it was deliberate or not. It's hard to see that he planned for this to happen. The poor guy made a mistake. It's the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened in his life.

[ancianita]

105. Maybe not. He did have an affair and didn't acknowledge the child from it.

As with that, he'll have to live this down, too.

[Chemisse]

31. And you don't even get fired for that! Good to know. n/t

[Midnight Writer]

32. Let those who have not masturbated in their own homes cast the first stone.

Come on, he wasn't trying to hurt anyone.

He basically forgot to close the blinds.

Being outraged that a man masturbates when he thinks he's alone seems silly.



Now that beating off on the job thing is another issue.

[pnwmom]

35. Except he wasn't alone. He was participating on a Zoom call with other people. nt

[BlueStater]

37. He obviously didn't intend to invite them to his happy place.

He made a dumb mistake that has caused him some personal embarrassment, but really isn’t all that scandalous.

[flibbitygiblets]

74. spoken like someone who's never been sexually harassed in the workplace

He put his company in legal jeopardy, "mistake" or no. He made his co-workers extremely uncomfortable, which may well impact their ability to do their jobs, particularly if nothing is done about it. If I log into a video conference and one of my co-workers is wanking off, my company better damned well do something to ensure this doesn't happen to anyone else.

Pardon me for being annoyed, but I've heard the "your co-worker didn't mean to offend you with his sexually explicit behavior and materials" line way too many times.

[BlueStater]

81. They were right to suspend him.

I’m just not going to judge him for masturbating, a harmless, normal activity that millions of people partake in. On the other hand (*spppf*), I’ve always had enough restraint to not do it while I’m on the clock, but that’s just me.

[Doodley]

91. It was a mistake. We all make mistakes. Why the anger? Do you never make mistakes?

[Orrex]

36. If the call lasted more than four hours, he should consult his doctor.

[Talitha]

64. Brilliant, hahaha!!!

[maddogesq]

126. Or how about this?

Ask your doctor if Zoom is right for you.😎

[LovingA2andMI]

38. YUCK....

He should never be seen on TV again. Period!

[Sucha NastyWoman]

101. Really?

We have no way of knowing whether it was intentional or not. In that case I’d have to give him a pass as long as his history doesn’t include other similar events.

And then I’d have to feel sorry for him - how embarrassing!

He doesn’t seem like the type to do it as abuse.

[LovingA2andMI]

128. Yes...

Disgusting actually. The other attendees should not been forced to view that. He knew the time of the meeting. Take care of person business before or after the meeting

So yes, disgusting and yuck.

[Dopers_Greed]

41. What in the literal hell

How stupid do you have to be?!

[Sucha NastyWoman]

102. Not that stupid if your mind was wandering . . .

[Joinfortmill]

42. OMG! ROFL

[Dysfunction City]

43. Election simulation turns into erection stimulation.

And even OJ is killing it:
https://nypost.com/2020/10/19/o-j-simpson-weighs-in-on-jeffrey-toobin-masturbation-scandal/

[Piasladic]

50. Gross

[calimary]

55. Welcome to DU, Dysfunction City!

SHEESH - I'll never think of Zoom in the same way again!

[yaesu]

44. If this happened to me I would pull a Howard Hughes & disappear for a few of decades. nt

[ClearSky24]

45. LOL

Someone is always watching.

[calimary]

57. Welcome to DU, ClearSky24!

I hope the New Yorker gets the situation in hand soon.

[CaptainTruth]

46. "a handful of other producers"?

[roamer65]

47. Pee Wee Toobin.

[olddad65]

49. What?...is that wrong? Cum on, we are in a pandemic.

[Piasladic]

52. I totally get it

I spend half my time masturbating and half my time in meetings. I just have to remember that I can't do them both at the same time. First wank; then be late for meeting... all good .... and bonus, they can't smell me.

[calimary]

54. Jeffrey Toobin's faux pas.

Or would that be "faux paw"?

[AdamGG]

56. He's usually one of the more intelligent, watchable pundits

I think I've watched him since the OJ trial in the 90's. I don't think this deserves to be career ending because he wasn't intentionally targeting/harassing anyone. But, the embarrassment level is off the charts.

He'll probably need to take a year or two off and then focus more on print journalism. And, he's now a cautionary tale for videoconferencing for all time.

[BadgerKid]

58. Aaaaaaand the Pulitzer prize slips through his fingers. n/t

[olddad65]

62. It might stick to his fingers.

[flibbitygiblets]

70. Definitely a contender for the Putzpuller Prize though

I'd say he wins it, hands down

...I'll see myself out...

[LittleGirl]

59. OMG WTF

I really liked that guy. See him on CNN all of the time. What is wrong with men that have to jack off all of the time? Good grief.

[Polybius]

60. And it's not like his hormones were so raging that he couldn't wait

He's not exactly a teenager.

[LittleGirl]

63. Right? Old enough to know better. Sheesh eom

[onetexan]

66. i really thought this was The Onion. old man still acting like a teenager

At first this was just crazy to me. Now i think it's pathetic.

[LittleGirl]

67. totally agree

I had to see the photo to make sure it was the same person I thought it was.
The shock was instant. Come on man, grow up. Do that in the shower where nobody see you.
Gaaaaa

[Renew Deal]

75. He found the topic exciting

[LittleGirl]

92. Ewww! Lol eom

[Buckeye_Democrat]

61. Yowza!

I was ashamed for years after my father opened my bedroom door unexpectedly when I was a teen (before he quickly shut the door again). I can't imagine my thought process in this scenario!

[Talitha]

65. What a doofus!

Hilarious, but it's way up there on the creepy scale.

Who's ever going to feel comfortable with this guy in a conference call again?

Ewwwww.

[Sherman A1]

111. Agreed

pretty damn stupid.

[JoeOtterbein]

68. My Official Very First Nomination for...

...Worst Post of the Year (& grossest) for 2020 Yet!

[rictofen]

69. Don't rely on software alone to turn video off

Cover that lens when it's not in use. Consider it as the video call version of two-factor authorization.

[FakeNoose]

115. Yes! My camera lens is covered with duct tape

I'm never going to "accidently" send something that I didn't want to send.

[dustyscamp]

71. Was this his face when he realized his mistake?

[Progressive Jones]

78. ROFLMAO !!!

[Buckeye_Democrat]

73. Who was he looking at while doing it?

That might've crossed the minds of the others during that Zoom conference.

[Progressive Jones]

76. You have to schedule these things so they don't interfere with the work day.

[Olafjoy]

79. OK I know this is going to be weird comment

None of the zoom meetings I have ever been on started to turn me on and made me think I needed to take a break and go masturbate. My Zoom meetings make me want to hit my head against the wall or slap myself across the face

[PatrickforO]

84. This is pretty funny. Very embarrassing for him, but

it really is hysterical.

[snort]

85. Put the zoom zoom zoom in the boom boom boom!

[Major Nikon]

88. I think we've all been there a time or two

[LudwigPastorius]

93. "....and Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts."

Hey Toobin, quit your lubin’!

How about less masturbatin’ and more adjudicatin’?

[Hekate]

94. What possesses these men?

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

98. Ffs, really?

Very poor impulse control for an adult. Nothing against masturbation, but unless you're a porn star, nsfw.

[Totally Tunsie]

99. If he ever does make it back to TV, we'll all now be wondering

what's going on while his talking head is appearing in it's little on-screen box!

I just can't imagine what about that call brought him to that point. Was the context really that stimulating?

[xxqqqzme]

100. And they all watched?

No one said, "Hey Jeff zip it up"?

[shawn703]

103. Probably had Zoom in one window and porn in the other

People do forget the cameras are on.

[Illumination]

104. Oops! That's a real gotya moment!...

[smb]

108. I Think I See The Problem

Jeffrey Toobin playing the courts

Obviously, he got too deep into character as Clarence Thomas.

[Politicub]

109. This is why people should not multitask.

The left hand forgets what the right one is doing.

[mr_lebowski]

112. Man, I hate when that happens (nt)

[FakeNoose]

113. This is why my videocam and mic are always OFF

Not because I masturbate - no! But because I want to be sure I haven't accidently displayed something that I didn't intend to display.

It's so easy to forget to to turn it off, so mine STAYS OFF.

[IcyPeas]

119. Jeffrey Toobin broke the racist Mark Fuhrman story in the New Yorker (for those too young...

to remember)

As such, Toobin was among the first to discover that Mark Fuhrman, the LAPD officer who was one of the first on the scene, was an unrepentant racist.

[Brainfodder]

120. What's known as "Toobin"?

That's twisted Jeffrey!

[COL Mustard]

121. Jeffrey, Do You Mind If We Don't Shake Hands Next Time We Meet???

[honest.abe]

123. Pretty dumb even if video and audio were off.

The assumption is you are paying attention when on a conference call.

[maddogesq]

124. Zoom conference pro tip:

Please know the difference between a computer mouse and a one-eyed trouser mouse.

This thread is cracking me up...😀😀😀😀😀

[colsohlibgal]

132. Sounds Like An Onion Story

Heard This On Stephanie Miller’s Show this morning and wow, that has to be totally embarrassing for him. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but you would think he would have made sure this occurred in private.

Not sure how he weathers this.

[BadGimp]

133. oh brother